yeah so ik that you heard "puppy boy" and assumed that you were getting an overly excited ball of happiness 'n sunshine but im actually the most whiny and pathetically sad pup who cries about everything. no takebacksies pls hug me.
What's the meaning behind wanting something but still being afraid of holding it? Should I pursue it or leave it untouched? Maybe that way, it will stay perfect, rough hands touching porcelain, tempting but messy. You're for everyone even if I wanted to keep you.
Disclaimer: Hi! I used to write fics around 10ys ago, guys, so this might be a bit rusty and English isn't my first language, but I hope you like it! All the love to you and thanks for reading 💕❤️🩹
(Set BEFORE the girls knew about Rumi's patterns)
“Pleaseee, come with us! It will be fun” Zoey pleaded with Rumi after busting into the girl's bedroom. “You need to relax, with us.” She smiled and stood in front of a busy Rumi who turned her head to look up “Zo, I wish I could, I just want to get done with these first” she spoke gently while her eyes went back to the lyric papers in front of her. “Fine, but next time, okay?” Zoey said quietly before turning to leave the room.
--
“She said no, again” Zoey pouted, now sitting on Mira's bed, hugging one of the plushies. “Why does she never want to come with us?” She murmured; Mira turned to look at her after changing into her swimsuit, “You know how she is, work comes first, Zozo. But it has nothing to do with us, okay?” She tried reassuring Zoey, knowing the youngest would overthink her latest interaction with Rumi.
Zoey looked up from her hands and her gaze lingered a little on Mira's clothes, quickly answering “Yeah, maybe you're right. I hope she will let loose someday” she sighed and stood up, stretching a little. Mira noticed the brief skin on Zoey's stomach, quickly looking somewhere else. “Anyway, let's go then, I'm dying to relax” Zoey smiled and walked to the door, Mira hummed and followed the girl.
---
At the bathhouse.
Zoey got in first, and smiled, letting out a small hum as the water surrounded her. It was warm but not too hot, the bubbles feeling like a relief after the last week she had. Closing her eyes and resting her head on the edge of the marble. Her mind started to race about how many demons they had to kill over the last hours, how exhausting it was to keep it all together. Was she doing a good job? Does Rumi look down at her for missing the shot once? Would Mira be disappointed if she spoke up about her tiredness? Mira… she didn't want her to be upset, she looked up to the pink-haired girl so much, with her strong being..her elegance and sharp fighting style..her smile and beautiful laugh..those lean mus-
“Zozo?” Mira's flat voice interrupted Zoey's thoughts. “You okay?” She asked in a gentle tone while shifting to sit a little bit closer to the youngest. “Mhm, all good. Just thinking” Zoey smiled, turning her head and opening her eyes to look at Mira, her eyes shining a little bit. “Thinking about what? Or who?” She teased with a small smirk, tilted her head with a small yawn, it was no secret Zoey got crushes all the time which was a fact that brewed intense emotions in Mira though she would never admit it. “Why would I be thinking about someone?” Zoey frowned, when you're right here, she thought, “I'm just...I don't know, a bit tired” she whispered softly, looking at her reflection on the water, a bubble bursting just like her emotions.
“I totally get you, these demons are getting to me” Mira groaned quietly, looking at her, “But it will be okay, Zozo” she gently reached to touch Zoey's shoulder, rubbing her hand a little “We will sing on the Idol Awards, seal the honmoon and it will be go right back to normal.” Mira said softly, looking into Zoey's eyes, she knew her heart was beating faster and the hand on Zoey's shoulder burnt her palm. Mira knew how to appreciate beauty, but Zoey was different and right now, she looked divine in Mira's eyes, her soft skin, cute freckles under her eyes, and oh her eyes.. so wide and shiny, glossy and full of dreams, Mira loved them and could easily get lost in them, not like that didn't happen already when she thought about Zoey before sleeping. “You're right, everything will be okay” Zoey's soft voice got through Mira's mind and she shook her thoughts away.
“As long as we are together, it will be okay” Zoey finished saying before a comfortable silence settled between them, a small tension that both ignored, out of fear of facing what they both truly felt. Their knees subtly brushing against each other under the water, it had happened before, but now it felt different, like the water was suddenly so heavy on their bodies, charged with lingering late night thoughts, the stolen touches at rehearsals and the subtle moments where they hugged each other for a second more. Zoey looked at Mira, finding her already looking. “Mira?” She said quietly, her hand moving under the water, closer to Mira's legs.
And Mira hummed quietly, not trusting her words. “The other day, when we talked about our relationships, you stayed quiet.” Zoey started talking “And I know you keep to yourself, that you wont trust someone to just love you but-” she stopped herself, they had shifted to move slightly closer “but I can't let go of how much you seemed to want it..and I can't ignore how much I want to be me who loves you” she whispered the last part, fearful and looking away.
“But you already love me, Zo. I love you too” Mira murmured, she knew what Zoey meant but couldn't quite accept it, let the girl in and finally do what she had wanted for months now. “I know but I mean it in a different way, Mira. I want you. All of it” Zoey said and reached for her hand, which Mira quickly pushed away and stood up from the water “I can't, Zo. I don't…deserve you. You should have more than me” she said while getting out, she knew it was wrong, she was once again running from her feelings but what else was she supposed to do? She couldn't give Zoey what she needed and, as she moved over the foggy room, a hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her back.
“You don't get to make that decision for me” Zoey spoke quietly but firmly, pulling Mira towards her until they were both staring at each other. Mira looked down at her “I don't want to ruin us, you. I can't-” but the cutoff came from Zoey pulling her head down and leaning in, soft lips brushed against Mira's before the kiss happened and Mira just couldn't refuse but it felt right, like it was always supposed to be this way, with her. Mira let go of the doubts, the insecurities, the fears and kissed her back, grabbing Zoey by the waist, a little squeeze while pulling her close, kissing with inexperience as the younger led the kiss, leading Mira to calm down and enjoy the moment.
Once they pulled away, Mira looked down at her “I never want to stop doing that” she smiled and Zoey giggled “Me neither” said with a whisper before Mira kissed her again.
sick of seeing hate thrown towards “baby gays.” let them wear rainbows. let them wear their pride flags like capes. let them make jokes about their identity and talk about it all the time. let them wear tails and puppy ears. let them do what is constantly deemed as “cringe.” let them be excited about finally being able to express their true selves. they deserve it. we all deserve it.