yourBlue.myGold

C.S. Lewis once said "Life is too deep for words, so don't try to describe it, just live it" but he was a damn writer, so fuck it...I'm gonna try anyway.

[yourblue-mygold]

About to start season 2 of this adorable series 🌸

[yourblue-mygold]

I'm an opportunist,

faced with the opinions of others, I begin to doubt my own convictions

If I see someone in trouble, I feel the urge to do something for them

I... What should I believe in?

~ Blue period

[yourblue-mygold]

The vegetarian by Han Kang

Just finished reading The vegetarian by Han Kang.

Rating 3/5

I'm biased towards Japanese Literature; I love the dreamy, ethereal vibes of those books...that's kinda all I got from this book as well, execpt it felt more like a nightmare than a dream. I thought it talked about eating disorders and sexual violence but, even though food and sex are involved, they are not depicted in a realistic way.

The main character stops eating meat because of an obsessive and repetitive dream and everything goes wrong from that point: She starts losing weight and isolating herself and her family can't help her or even start to understand her at all. She is repelled by even the smell or sight of meat and that triggers violence from her husband and the other people around her.

You follow Yeong-hye through her slow descendent way towards insanity, but described by other people around her: her husband, her brother in law and her sister. Like oil in the ocean, her craziness poisons everyone around her, making them questioning their own sanity as well.

You can't really empathize with Yeong-hye because you can't understand the reasoning behind her actions and at the and you're left with a demoralising sensation. The book gives me Murakami vibes but in a more depressing way.

[yourblue-mygold]

EPIC the musical

New obsession: EPIC the musical by Jorge Rivera-Herrans

[yourblue-mygold]

I want my Dante

I want to be called beautiful and be the muse of a painter

I want someone to quiet the storm exploding inside my head

I want someone I can just be silent around

I want to hold hands while staring at the perfect desert sky

[zaccrenia]

[yourblue-mygold]

Some of us are fragile, some of us are still healing, some of us just want to move on.

[yourblue-mygold]

Third day without you

I'm torn beetween the anger towards how you left me and the sadness for the kisses and hugs that I'll never receive from you again.

Even though I was always the one making the first move.

You said you're usually not like that, but are you sure? Perhaps you're projecting your own insecurity on me. You said we're too different, but baby you're an introvert too. You can fool yourself how much you want, but you're not gonna change that.

I'd like to see you with someone who could "unblock" you, as you said yourself. Would that girl wear a dress and heels instead of dirty converse and a jumper? Would she make love to you the way your favourite porn stars do?

When I was speaking you barely listened and in the rare moments you did, you couldn't go past the "I don't think the same, she must be stupid".

If I had sent you pictures of myself wearing that outfit, that black dress, would that have made you fall in love with me?

You wanted somone sexier and charmier but you acted like a piece of ice, how could I have felt warm enough to expose myself the way you wanted... You should have made me feel loved and cherished.

I tried to talk to you a few times, my own way of asking you for more love. You weren't willing to change not even in the slightest... While I was ready to reinvent myself for you.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I hope this is the last time I write about you. You don't deserve to be my muse.

[yourblue-mygold]

Second day without you

You know what? I could have loved you in such a gentle way; overlooking your flaws, always making you feel at ease, never doubting your self-worth. 

I could have kissed you at home and out in the freezing winter, not giving a fuck about the rain or the snow falling upon us.

Like I kissed you on the beach, at night, wearing that new dress that you didn’t even like, because after those first days you forgot to tell me I was pretty, even when I was showing you proudly that dress that I wasn’t used to wear.

At least the deep blue waves witnessed that moment, me and you listening to random songs and reading the lyrics on your phone. That damn phone that you used like a shield to protect you from conversations that you didn’t feel capable of having and to send pictures of you to girls who would then do the same. All because you wanted to raise your self esteem and it didn’t matter how many times I told you how beautiful you were...for you it wasn’t enough. 

I accepted you and welcomed you into my heart. Hoping that you could thaw it with endless hugs.

You made me feel alone, weird and wrong. A fucking alien that you could barely take a look at.

You couldn’t see past my insecurity; all my unnecessary apologies, all the overexplaing, all the tangled toughts inside my head.

I just needed time, baby. I just needed a bit more love. 

[danger]

“She thought she was independent and strong, but she got one small taste of love and she was hungrier than anyone.”

— Ann Brashares (via nitrogen)

[yourblue-mygold]

Just got my heart broken...I saw it coming, because it was a microscopical taste of love, not even a small one, but it still hurts like hell.

[yourblue-mygold]

First day without you

I'm not good at finding the right words. Maybe that was also what drove you away from me. You left me after only three months, just before my birthday.

You were planning your own escape while I was just getting used to calling you my boyfriend.

I had a huge desire to be loved and an endless need for affection.

I was made of crystal and I tried in every way to protect myself, because I knew I would fall apart with just a brusque touch from hands that I only wanted to caress me.

I tried to create something with you that went beyond words, beyond what the society in which we live in defines a relationship, beyond appearances.

I don't know if I miss you or I miss our relationship. You never made me feel loved, just a little wanted in those early days. But having crumbs is better than running out of food.

I knew this day would come, I knew it would be you who left me.

I know life will go on, but I wish I could have shared a little more of it with you

[yourblue-mygold]

Jack Frost

[yourblue-mygold]

Inspired by a fanart of Hiiragi from Given...even though it kinda looks like a kpop star.

[yourblue-mygold]

Given ~ Mafuyu

I hope that one day I'll be able to draw Mafuyu in his full glory... But for now it's only his pretty face lol

[yourblue-mygold]

Little blue penguins

They are also known as fairy penguins ✨

[yourblue-mygold]

Blue Period ~ Mori

[yourblue-mygold]

Oikawa Tōru

inspired by a digital drawing I found on Pinterest of my boy Oikawa. Unfortunately I can't find the name of the artist :(

[yourblue-mygold]

Given ~ Mafuyu

I'm not good with words.

I feel like I'm the only one who gets left behind.