I need to surrender to the universe. Surrender to the unknown. Surrender my need for answers. Surrender my need to know the future. Surrender my anxiety because it doesn’t bring me any closer to the answers I’m looking for. I need to let it all go. All my worries. All my thoughts. I should be asleep right now but I’m awake with these thoughts because I need to surrender. I can do this. It’s easy to let my thoughts win, it’s easy to let myself be consumed by the future and what has yet to happen. That is what I’m used to. Now for my own sanity I have to surrender all of that. I release any and all expectations of what I think I want in my life, what I think should happen to me, who I think should be in my life and where I think I’m headed. I don’t have these answers and I don’t need them. The universe will show me the way. I release the worry I have about the future and I hand it back to the universe, I ask for it to be discarded along with anything else that does not serve me. I ask the universe to release me from the chains of time, and to help me focus less on the bruises it leaves. Time is an illusion that causes disharmony in the brain. I have to learn true patience, and to be content with what I have instead of focusing on what I don’t. I need to stay present in the moment and focus on the things I can control. I cannot control other people. I cannot make them say and do what I want. I can only control me and my reaction to them. I will be okay, I will be fine. I don’t need anybody else to validate me or make me feel better. I have myself and that’s all I need. You’re okay, promise. You got this.
1. Don’t attach myself to an outcome
I tend to attach myself to specific outcomes at times, I must admit. Maybe just little things like places I want to go or things I want to buy. But sometimes also things like relationships I want to enter into. If I took all the energy I spend obsessing over getting these things, and put it into productive ways to help me get these things, I would have these things! I have to stop stressing so much. I have to stop wanting things so desperately. I need to find balance. I tend to plan a lot too, I actually plan as far in advance as possible. I’d say it’s fine to plan some things but I could probably ease up on the long term planning for my own sake. There’s just no real way for me to know what’s going to happen in my life beyond the basics. I will do well. I will create a family. I will get married. I will own the house I want, etc. but beyond that everything is subject to change. I can’t plan where I will live 5 years from now or who I will be with or who my friends will be. I have to surrender all of that. I can’t even plan where I will be working in 5 years. I have to surrender that too. I have to allow things to unfold the way they’re meant to, and since time isn’t real I can’t attach myself to a timeline. That means I have to be, uh, patient. Lol. I wish there was a trick but honestly I just have to keep reminding myself that I don’t get to decide when things are supposed to happen and it’s out of my control. I can kick my feet and stomp and scream about it like a kid in timeout but it’s not gonna speed things up. I’m actually using unnecessary energy throwing a tantrum when it doesn’t matter. I still have to wait. Might as well save my energy, sanity and peace. Patience will take me very far and the sooner I fully grasp it the better.
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