Slow Down, You're Doing Fine
Hey everyone. I apologize profusely for the lack of updating and I feel awful for letting you down, truly. That being said, I hope that things are finding you well no matter what year of school you're in. Each year, semester, month, week, day, hour, minute brings something a little different to each person in each situation, and regardless of what you're dealing with, it is my sincere hope that you feel loved, accepted, and rested at some point during your week.
I wanted to write today about something that has been bothering me not only for a long time, but also on my various social news feeds as of late. It's a trend that I saw happen with my older sisters, a trend that I contributed to, and a trend that continues after I graduated college— overcommitment and overworking yourself.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be involved with things, and there's nothing wrong with working hard to achieve goals you set for yourself. In fact, I personally admire these traits within someone. Committing your time to things outside of academics (or a job you may have) shows that you're willing to work to make yourself a well-rounded individual, something that is highly sought in the workplace. However, there simply comes a time when you need to take a step back and prioritize things in your life for your health and your academics.
Your number one priority should always be to make sure you are healthy; the second should be academics. Does that mean you should always skip class when you're sick, or that being sick is a good reason to not do homework? Absolutely not. Always contact a professor if you're ill, make a trip to your health center, and most importantly, go to class if you're feeling well enough. You will have time to sleep at the end of the day. But don't PUSH and PUSH if you simply CANNOT do it. Unfortunately, I have no magic indicator of "going" vs. "resting". That is your judgement.
As far as being healthy, I don't necessarily mean that you should exercise daily or refuse chocolate cake, but I do mean that you should be getting a decent amount of sleep, showering, and overall resting adequately. As a former orientation leader who was paid to talk about time management, studying, and health, I recommend attempting to get between 6-8 hours of sleep each night. I recommend trying to make it to the gym at least once a week, if not more. I recommend taking a long walk a few times a week in place of the gym, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.
Now, does that mean you won't be able to function if you don't adhere to that? Absolutely not. After all, I barely did any of it and hold a college degree. But the reason I'm writing it here is because when I think back about the majority of college, I was always sick and exhausted. As much as I wanted to claim it was school, it wasn't, really. If I had just done my homework and gone to class/my job, I probably would have been chipper and cheery and healthy all throughout my time. But I didn't. I was in a sorority in multiple leadership positions, I was an orientation leader, I was on the Student Activities board, and I had a job. I needed the job as part of my scholarship to school, but the rest? I didn't have to do it. I wanted to do it. That's the main difference here.
I don't regret involving myself in the things I did in college. They gave me leadership skills, they built my resume, and they gave me lifelong friends. And I do really think it's important to pick a club or organization and get involved. It will afford you many opportunities to enhance your skill set, it might give you the opportunity to travel, it will help you learn to multitask, it will increase your social circle, and if you pick the right one, it may even help you raise your GPA. All of these things are pros. And there are plenty of people I know that were involved in multiple clubs, had a job, and had a great GPA and managed to seem well-rested while doing it. If you're one of those people, please direct me to the sorcerer you worked with to achieve this magic. If you're not, bro-hug in solidarity from my URL to yours, for real. But there comes a time when too much is too much. Here are some signs to look for, and some solutions to them:
If every status, tweet, or blog is about "how busy" you are or "forgot to eat dinner, overworked!" Now, take this with a grain of salt because, for all intents and purposes, social media is there to be an outlet for you. You technically have the right to say pretty much whatever you want to. But let me illuminate what happens when these updates happen. Because I've been an updater about how busy I am and my friends have been, too, I know that it starts to get obnoxious. Period. My reaction the 1-3 time? "Oh, that sucks. I hope he/she gets a break soon!" My reaction more than that? "Dude, if you have enough time to get on Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr, you have enough time to eat a damn sandwich. I do not care." And it's totally human to both post it and to have the reaction I have, so I may be the only one who cares about this point. But seriously, you should never be consistently missing lunch/dinner because of class, meetings, or events. If anything, be proactive and pack up some snacks! But seriously, be careful how much you bitch on social media about how busy you are. I can see it on Tumblr, because it's a blog. That's sort of your space to completely let it all out. But there will come a time when people switch from being sympathetic to judging you for not making better choices. If you're really feeling stressed and need to let it out, tell one friend. Make a status update once or twice a month. But every day, every week? Stop it. In the time you took to write the update repeatedly, you could have been writing a line in your homework or bringing that sandwich to your mouth. Think before you post.
You find yourself doing homework at 11pm or later constantly. Again, as much as I hate to repeat myself, this is subjective. Some people are more productive at different times, and there may be some days where that's the only time you have. That being said, my goal every night for myself was to be IN bed by midnight (except on weekends). I was a little lenient on days where I got to sleep in, and sometimes I didn't make the goal when I couldn't sleep in. But if you never start your homework until 11pm, you either need to stop socializing so much, you need to reevaluate your commitment to XYZ organization, or you simply just need to start earlier. Again, there may be a few days or a week that are outliers- for example, recruitment week for sororities/fraternities, where I usually got back to my house around 11. But since it's one week out of the semester, you can plan for it or suck it up and get off of your sleep schedule. Just do your assignments at a reasonable time, okay?
If you find yourself unable to shake a sickness or if you find yourself sick frequently. In the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I was sick as a DOG. I had a bacterial infection, a double ear infection (which culminated in an ear drum rupture) and mono. Basically, my body went on strike because I was going to bed between 3-5 most mornings and waking up between 8:30-9:30 to go through days full of classes, meetings, and events. If I felt down, I didn't go nap or say I couldn't make a meeting, I went anyway. The cycle repeated, sometimes with all-nighters. I felt like I could never catch up, and boy, did I pay for it. In December, I finally had to get ear tubes because I was experiencing 40% hearing loss and massive fluid build-up. Does this sound horrible? It was. And while I'm sure it's small potatoes compared to what many people deal with on a daily basis, they can't help it. And maybe I couldn't totally control being sick, but I know I didn't help it by continually overworking myself through school and my extracurricular activities. People were rude to me because I was slogging through events and meetings, I was forgetful, and I felt like ass. My GPA was terrible that semester. It was AWFUL. And probably 80-90% preventable. Know your body, and rest it. If you have a continual cold/illness, email your professors, delegate organizational responsibilities, and park your ass in bed. Even if for only one day.
If you constantly feel sad, anxious, worried, or depressed. As human beings, we are sort of hardwired to suppress negativity and to think optimistically. Even if we don't feel that way, we quickly learn when we're constantly told that we're being negative or that we should be looking on the bright side. And to a certain extent, that's not a bad mentality to have. As a certainly philosophy that has been a training tool for me to the point where I probably recited it in my sleep, choosing your attitude is a great way to overcome a negative day or feeling. But sometimes, it isn't enough. If you're constantly feeling like that without change, and you find that you're throwing yourself into activities to get your mind off things, STOP. It's not always awful to do that, but continually doing so is a sign that you're suffering from depression. I would immediately recommend going to your campus counseling center or the equivalent where you can talk to a counselor. From there, or on your own, you may realize that some of the activities you're involved in make you feel this way, or you may find a deep seeded problem completely unrelated. Regardless, your mental health is extremely important and you should never ignore a repeated warning signal.
I know this is super long like all of my posts, but I really hope you consider what I'm saying. It's great to get involved and to be a trailblazer at your school (but it's okay if you don't, either. For reals.), but there comes a time where you need to let some things go. If you feel unhappy constantly in your organization, you may need to separate yourself for a little while. If you find yourself constantly behind, exhausted, or ill, you may need to separate yourself for awhile. Don't get me wrong, there will be days/weeks where stuff just gets hard, and it will do wonders for your character to push through them. But if it never seems to end, do yourself a favor and get rid of the things that cause poor performance academically, or within your body.
Work on your grades. Have fun. Go to a party. Go to a late-night restaurant at three in the morning. Stay up late talking to friends. Take walks. Get drunk for the first time. Get drunk two nights in a row (weekends only, please). Start a club. Join a club. Fall in love. Go to a dance. Make friends with the guy playing guitar on the quad. Play in the leaves. Ask people how you can help. Whatever you do, do it for yourself. The worst thing you can do is look back on college with a loaded resume and think, "I was miserable." You're there to a get a degree and make friends. That should never be MISERABLE, even if times can get rough.
Most of all, believe in yourself. I believe in you. Seriously.
-J