tannertan36
Fai_Ryy
Noah Kahan
cherry valley forever
RMH
hello vonnie
roma★
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Janaina Medeiros
oozey mess
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
NASA
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
sheepfilms
blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
occasionally subtle
seen from South Africa
seen from South Africa
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Uruguay
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from United Kingdom
@youretheballoon
new blog is up and running am transferring everything over there
life has been a fucking shit show in the last week
I still haven’t figured out how to export this one before I delete it, so I’m just starting anew instead in the meantime
oh, friends can use you. when you’re sitting drunk in someone else’s apartment with three people you’re not really comfortable with and a party full of strangers, you think about him, and how he used to be your friend, and how the two of you used to plan a future, not an end. you two were going to explore the world or be each other’s roommates or put on a two-person play.
what do you say about that, about why you’re upset. “oh it’s just a guy”. but not a guy like that. it was just a friend that you used to share secrets with who left once he got his dreams, his house, his girlfriend. you’re not jealous, you’re happy for him - but you wish he’d write you, now and then.
once in middle school you had a best friend, and she was gone by the end of high school. like, still there, still someone you saw in the hallways, but not someone you felt close to. which was fine, you told yourself, people grow apart, they live their lives and expand like suns. it just feels like everyone is trying to grow apart from you, to reach until they escape your orbit.
you can’t say “my friends use me when they’re sad and then leave when they find happy” because what, are you going to be mad about someone else finally getting out? you can’t say “i’m lonely” when you’re just incapable of letting more than two people close to you. you can’t complain “they left me” because they didn’t leave you, did they. they’re just. not your friend anymore. and it happens. it’s not like you were in a relationship.
but stuff happens and you think - he would love this. or you go through your pictures and he’s there and you think - that’s the end of that. or a song comes on and it was your song - and you know, in your heart, if you played it for him, he wouldn’t even remember the tune of it. but what are you going to say? are you going to imply friends need to stay with you? that your life is sad because you’re easy to leave? that you’re hurting because of something so small as “my best friend moved on”?
you’re really good at giving. so people come to you, and you give them advice, and you give them time, and once in a while, when you’re feeling silly, you try to give them a spot in your heart.
and you always wind up back here. back where you are.
I think its time to say goodbye to this blog and start anew.
Unfortunately, this space that I've used for the last several years to document my journey through mental health, school(s), relationships, and obvi memes...and the people I've met, its not a safe space anymore. If anyone knows how to download it/at least the text posts so I have them, please let me know.
There's a lot of people reading now that I don't want reading my thoughts. My anonymity is gone and I'm scared to even post on here or reblog anything.
I don't know if I'm going to start a new blog or a password-protected one or something different. I just love having this outlet and I'm so upset this has happened.
If we're mutuals/friends I'll follow you on the new one if/when its made or shoot me a message for the link/alternative modes of contact
To be continued.
there she goes again, daydreaming about her future house and how she’ll decorate it knowing she can’t afford a house in this economy ever. and by she i mean me.
Not nice guy texted me tonight late being like “I’ve had a bad week can I come over”
I told him to text his girl 🤦
But also I’m under my heated blanket missing physical companionship but not enough to actually care or do anything about it but continue to whine about being lonely
Guess who woke up to an essay this morning from him saying hey me and that girl broke up but I swear I wasn't booty calling you I just wanted some company
In other news I have a 4 day weekend next week that I actively chose NOT to pick up any extra shifts in because my friend and I were going to do a mini staycation spa and air bnb and guess who just texted me she's actually going to the US with a bunch of other friends
CoooOoooOoooolLlL this is fine
(This is how Katrina ends up in the beds of fuckbois again isn't it)
My body is my temple. Ancient and crumbling. Probably cursed and haunted.
Not nice guy texted me tonight late being like "I've had a bad week can I come over"
I told him to text his girl 🤦
But also I'm under my heated blanket missing physical companionship but not enough to actually care or do anything about it but continue to whine about being lonely
Ariana Grande, Ghostin
“Here’s the thing: you’re in love with a version of a person that you’ve created in your head, that you are prying to but cannot fix. Uh, the only thing you can fix is yourself.”
HELP THIS IS AN ATTACK
a note to self
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Live.
Live.
Live.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.
“I want to explain how exhausted I am. Even in my dreams. How I wake up tired. How I’m being drowned by some kind of black wave.”
— Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation
Cinderella was too weak to fight for herself...AND THAT’S OKAY!
I cannot believe we’re still tearing Cinderella down! 2018 only has a few months left and we’re still doing this, we’re still painting her as the weakest Disney princess and we’re still painting her weakness as a bad thing?
Why?
Why are people so caught up on bashing this princess?
“The movie is so simplistic—”
In what way is it possibly simplistic?!
“She didn’t work hard—”
YES, SHE DID!
“Well, okay, but the fairy godmother still had to come in—”
Yep, I remember the movie too, and the countless stories on which it’s based.
“So the fairy godmother was the one who caused the happily ever after.”
She sure was, now, what’s your point?
No, really, what’s your point? Is the point that Cinderella is somehow weak because she wasn’t 100% in control of her own life? Seems like a pretty disgusting opinion to have when the whole movie is about an abuse victim finding a way out of her horrible situation. So Cinderella wasn’t the one who got herself out. So what? Instead of looking the movie at its bare surface, maybe try analyzing it with a bit more thought and tact. You might see something a little different. A magical transformation, if you will.
Because Cinderella did work hard.
And guess what we learned from that?
You can work
and work
and work
And there will still be people out there who will try to tear you apart:
Literally.
And that sucks. It’s a horrible lesson to learn but it is something we will all face in our lifetimes. There will always be people who will try to tear us down, there will always be people who will try to rip us apart, until we’re in a low place:
Until it seems like there’s no hope…
Until it seems like you’re too weak to get out on your own…
And maybe you are.
Maybe you are too weak to get out on your own. Maybe you’re not the strongest woman in the world. Maybe you’re not capable of screaming at the top of your lungs or brandishing a weapon or throwing a punch. Maybe you’re not able to get out of something on your own. Maybe you hit a low point and maybe you have no way out of it. Not alone. But that’s just it.
You’re not alone.
Even at your lowest point, someone will come help you.
You don’t have to do it all alone.
It’s okay to have a little help when you have nowhere else to turn.
Cinderella is the story about an abuse victim who is unable to get out of her toxic situation by herself and just when she begins to lose all hope, is able to get help from an unlikely source. It’s the story about a girl who needs help getting to her happily ever after and that’s okay.
Give us advocates:
They deserve their happily ever afters!
Give us warriors:
They deserve their happily ever afters!
Give us fighters:
They deserve their happily ever afters!
Give us girls who are not advocates, girls who are not warriors, girls who are not fighters, girls who still deserves their happily ever afters:
This reminds me of that quote that Mr. Rogers said his mother told him: “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
YOU might be the magical fairy godmother in someone’s life and not even know it. Something you said to somebody could have saved their life, or given them the courage to ask for help.
The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner
Depression aesthetic is sitting on the floor with mascara running down your face eating gummy bears and calling it a meal and priding yourself on your amazing cognitive abilities to multitask admitting several patients across the city today while simultaneously being like damn wish that bus hit me
