Don’t know where I’m going but I’m goin
Jules of Nature

ellievsbear
Today's Document

if i look back, i am lost

shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Kiana Khansmith
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AnasAbdin

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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will byers stan first human second

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@yourkevlar
Don’t know where I’m going but I’m goin
turns out I’ll always carry my 15 year old self. silly me
this isn’t about hating her this is about recognizing there will always be a small part of me a little hurt and a little scared and it’s my job to care for that part in the way she needed at the time
no offence but I hate when people my age start projecting their own fears and ideas about aging and youth onto me. girl sorry but I’m young and beautiful if you think women in their late 20s onwards are worthless old hags who have run out of time that’s a personal problem
i'm like if a lover hated everything they see
what do you mean I can't control everything, why not
every time something slips out of my control an angel dies
Most anti phone advice is so inane and regurgitated to me but one thing I’ve been thinking about for days is “social media is okay, but the real danger comes in when you think your phone should be your go to during your limited pockets of leisure” like that’s literally the truest thing ever
It really is true that after a long shift or a hard study session or a tiring workout the first thing I think to do is doom scroll to “reward” myself………. But as much as I try to combat my screen I’ve never truly delved into why my phone should be my go to during my downtime. Like why is it the reward . Why is it not taking a nap. Or getting a treat. Or calling a friend . Or even reading a book. It’s like I do those things w the idea in mind that that’s when I’m “on” but what if they rly should be my downtime rewards instead of phone time
And this comes from someone who does not necessarily think social media is the devil bc I totally understand why people use it and how it makes connecting easier…… but I see older patients all the time and it’s so striking to me how they don’t have attention issues and how their reward system is wired so differently. My 52 year old boss rewards herself for an 8 hour work day by taking a run after work. Like immediately after work. She does have a phone, and she does use it, but it’s not her reward during downtime at all. She does not need a phone break in between things, because those things are what nourish her. And that’s just fascinating to me bc for my generation a peek at their phone is the ultimate reward
LAST THING bc i feel like if this reaches more people they’ll be like ummm reading or talking to a friend arent downtime activities and like okay that’s so fair……. I think the whole point is finding a default downtime activity that feels right for *you* while also not taxing you mentally. Like this is not me saying go full blackout on your phone. Also it’s just true that doom scrolling is not as passive as people think it is (I literally do it too) and your brain is still burning out from taking in so much at once, so investigating if it’s the holy grail “brain off” activity really is valid
i hope that in 2025 u get to take more walks, read more books, connect with more people whom u love and who love u, achieve ur goals (even if ur goals are having no goals and just living in the moment), exercise fun hobbies, move from a place of self-direction, and weave together a beguiling assortment of beautiful little moments. remember that no feeling lasts forever. love u
and i actually hope u learn to forgive urself a little more and operate from self compassion rather than self flagellation. this is ur first time living - there is no rehearsal to any of this. u will live and u will learn. drink lots of water in the morning and dance to ur favorite music first thing. u are not uniquely horrible, but just learning how to live. u got this <3
like i was saying
I have not been mentally well since the election
this too shall pass
HURRY UP
“The Flinch” by Julien Smith
I luvvv being bi-curious cs one day I’m so obsessed w men and the next I want a pretty fem girl on my lap like 😩😩😩😩
ever.