Call Me C

Basically a diary to do with being a trans guy . Basically never online but my notifs are on if you have a question He/Him - Search for about

[yourlocalbiboy]

There’s no way for me to get top surgery until I’m 18. I recognize why and know it’s a serious surgery but that’s the whole point. It’s a serious situation and I am seriously ready to not feel horrible about my chest. I’m stuck with features that pain me and make me feel like a freak. Binding hurts so much and it feels ridiculous that I can’t bring myself to be seen unless I’m wearing something that makes me feel trapped, as if I didn’t feel trapped enough without it. My lungs hurt and my ribs ache and I feel like I can’t have a life until I can go somewhere without being conscious that someone, anyone, is going to see through me and I’ll have to face whatever consequences they deem fitting.

[yourlocalbiboy]

7.5 months on T

So i uh fell down a hole of not feeling good and crying over dysphoria among other things but i dont feel like that has anything to do with the testosterone so ill leave that be. Ive gained like a lot more body hair and muscles, i dont work out but people at my school (after summer break) have been commenting on how much buffer i look and ask if ive been working out which says something since i gained like 10 more pounds over the summer? Ive gained a lot of weight while on T.. Facial hair is light but im starting to see peach fuzz around my cheeks rather than just my lip and i got a few beard hairs but when you only got 2 its not the best looking imo so theyre shaved, oh well . Thats all for now have a nice day

[yourlocalbiboy]

4 months on T!

Bro this is great :D

Ive gotten some more facial hair and noticed fuzz on my chin! Not that noticeable to others but i feel it. I did get one dark hair on my chin like thick and dark but i plucked it because it just looked weird when all the rest of my chin hair is blond. Mustache is getting darker though.

I can feel my adams apple! Its not really visible since im not super thin but i can feel it very prominently.

I got an increase in body hair for sure. I got a happy trail situation going on and much more visible stomach hair as well as visible thigh hair .

I havent taken measurements but based on looking in the mirror i feel less hourglass shaped? My waist seems way less defined and my stomach has gotten a little bigger (which brought on some stretch marks but oh well) and ive gained about 10 pounds apparently though i havent had to go up any clothing sizes or anything; i dont feel any bigger.

Hormones are definitely taking effect as far as how i think about certain people etc. you get what i mean? Im also super hungry now like i need to eat a whole extra meal to feel full.

I apparently smell different? My family as asked a couple times if i got a new deodorant etc because I apparently dont smell the same , which is fine by me! However i do sweat more which feels gross and gets my binders all yucky after a long day outside

I havent noticed much else but im so happy!

[yourlocalbiboy]

3 months on T!

My voice dropped!! Id say it was first really noticibly lower (like others mentioning it) at right about 2.5 months and im sorta easing into the new octive now. I think it’s still getting lower too, im really excited! Ive gotten some minor facial hair, peach fuzz on my cheeks and the little half mustache that middle school boys usually get (im shaving on and off bc if i let it grow out too much i look weird, i need fuller facial hair imo). The main thing ive noticed as far as body hair goes is my legs got WAY harrier (in comparison to my arm hair and how they were before) I also have some stomach hair and it makes me so happy! I also haven’t had a cycle since my first shot which is AMAZING. I cant wait for the changes in the future :D

[yourlocalbiboy]

2 weeks on T

So far there havent been any really noticeable changes. Basically everything the same (except for bottom growth but i dont wanna get into that publically online) but the knowledge that its started and things will change has made me so much happier lately :D

[yourlocalbiboy]

I know I barely ever post here and I apologize for that but I have some good news!

I’ve been speaking to my therapist and parents and have gotten in touch with a case manager and endocrinologist.

I have to go in and do some blood tests and all that junk but once the results come through, if all looks good, I’ll get an official date for when I’ll start hrt!

This is incredible and I’m so thankful to have the support and resources that I do.

For all my transguys on T, have any tips or things you weren’t expecting that you think could help me? This is so exciting and exillerating but despite my research I’m always afraid of being uneducated. Leave anything you think might be helpful in the comments!!

[yourlocalbiboy]

Update: I have officially started hrt!

[yourlocalbiboy]

I know I barely ever post here and I apologize for that but I have some good news!

I’ve been speaking to my therapist and parents and have gotten in touch with a case manager and endocrinologist.

I have to go in and do some blood tests and all that junk but once the results come through, if all looks good, I’ll get an official date for when I’ll start hrt!

This is incredible and I’m so thankful to have the support and resources that I do.

For all my transguys on T, have any tips or things you weren’t expecting that you think could help me? This is so exciting and exillerating but despite my research I’m always afraid of being uneducated. Leave anything you think might be helpful in the comments!!

[pumpkinspiceprince]

Trans men listen up!

I know how hard it can be to find a decent amount of photos that portray that testosterone does to your … lower half! And that a lot of ya don’t know what to expect our bottom growth to look like! so I’ve started a blog compiling photos and gifs of trans men who have had bottom growth , reblogging from them ! So not only does it function as a place to SEE the outcomes, but gives you a way to follow more trans men who have experienced growth !

@ftmdickarchive

[yourlocalbiboy]

The updated rules took away valuable resources such as this blog which was one of the only sources I could find with clear photos of bottom growth from transmen. The update is taking away the information that helped me decide to continue my journey towards hrt and is taking away the information that I genuinely dont know where else to get. If you know another website with information like the kind from this blog, please tell me because im sorta lost now.

[yourlocalbiboy]

Does anyone know a good binder for tanktops?

Binders that look like normal tanktops? Strapless binders?

My goal is for my binder to be completely hidden though i know it’s not a very realistic goal. I’ve so far only seen those cheap binders from china that actually look like tanktops or could hide under tanktops and I’m not trying to break any ribs despite my other questionable binding methods.

[yourlocalbiboy]

My experience with Trans tape wooo

Sorry I basically never post on here whoops.

DISCLAIMER! I’m a kid! I don’t know the actual harm this is doing, if its doing harm, and I don’t have medical experience! I just know what ive experienced and its helpful to at least me to write down. My goal is just to find what works for me and to write down what doesnt.

Anyways...

A while ago I used trans tape to bind. It was not fun honestly, the tape tugged at my skin, it was uncomfortable and because of how my chest is i had to put the tape sorta high up so there wouldnt be an awkward visible fold. I wore the tape for about 16 hours? Probably not a great idea but i put it on and fell asleep and had practice (closed practice with my friends and a private bathroom so i wasnt as concerned about the tape coming off and being stuck) the next morning so i didnt really have time to take it off. I went to practice and honestly being able to move without feeling the straps of a bra was incredible i will admit but i didnt feel supported and was basically always worried of the tape coming off.

On top of the tape just not feeling that secure it didnt actually bind me that well, it got me about as flat as i would be in a sports bra which is still better than nothing but it didnt help my dysphoria very much.

I ended up having one of the supporting strips come loose and i started panicking, i had one of my trusted friends use some baby oil they had and we took the tape off slowly and it came off okay, i was left with only some red marks from where i pulled too hard. Overall i dont think I’ll use it again so it’s back to the drawing board for other methods to bind less obviously.

[yourlocalbiboy]

Hey so ik in my last tape review update thingy i said i was getting official TransTape soon and I did! I got it a while ago actually. But i tried it twice and both times i just started panicking because i felt like i was wasting it every time i added more and whenever i got it to stick it would peel off and hurt me. I want to try it again when im calm and have time but I’m so worried of wasting money.

[yourlocalbiboy]

This is just venting and its negative so ignore it if you dont want negativity ❤️

Im in a bit of a rough patch and need to vent some stuff.

I hate it but i feel almost ashamed that im trans.. like im just adding another detail to myself that people dont need to worry about, that im just making the people around me have to go through the burden of calling me the right pronouns because i know i dont pass. I know i don’t come off as male the second anyone hears my voice. And it really scares me yknow? Im scared of the fact im trans. I dont think ive accepted that i am yet, i get really uncomfortable saying it out loud and even in gsa and at pride i tend to hide it, i show my pride with being bi. My friend pushed me to buy a trans flag at pride and i spent the whole weekend with it shoved in my bag, it was reassuring that it was there but i didnt want anyone to see it. I just wish i were cis and i feel like i shouldnt. Im sorry for the negativity as what im sure we all need is positivity, i sure need some right now.

Being transmale and not being on T or being very masculine looking to begin makes me REALLY scared, especially as im using the men’s restroom and all.

At school they were assigning lockers in the locker rooms and my gym teacher (who doesnt know im trans, my name is changed in the system and ive never talked to them before) read me as male (hooray!) and assigned me a locker in the mens locker room. So i went down and put my things in my locker and just.. i saw their looks and i knew they thought i didnt belong there.. i knew i looked like i made a mistake because their glances told me well enough, i looked down the whole time and only glanced up to not hit walls but i still felt them and when i actually looked up at them i was always right, they were staring. Saying “i have a hormone deficiency so i look really feminine” and “im just really gay lol” (which are both things ive had to say to make people believe me when i say im male and i dont like saying) makes me feel like im hiding something im not proud of and that im ashamed. I dont want to be ashamed. I think trans people are completely valid and should be loved and being proud of your transness is something i am envious of, but i am not proud.

I feel like the only person in my life who really disapproves of me being trans is me.

[yourlocalbiboy]

Y’all ever had some dude literally go against a teacher because he “doesn’t believe” you when you say you’re not a girl. It’s almost impressive that people could really be so stupid to think a teacher is just casually in on a prank that I’ve obviously been pulling since i met him. Because obviously I’m doing this all for you, random dude who I literally do not care about at all.

[yourlocalbiboy]

The fact that i havent been misgendered once since the beginning of this school year brings me a lot of confidence. Good vibes all around 💕💕💕

[yourlocalbiboy]

Just queer trans things 🤪

Being made fun of for showing any attraction to the same gender 😔

But then being asked to literally show your dick bc they don’t believe you have one 😂

Fellas, is it gay to ask to see another mans dick out of pure interest? 🤔

[yourlocalbiboy]

For my trans friends headed back to school

I know it can be stressful with how much of school is based around your name and how many strangers you have to talk to.

If you’re out at school, make sure to email your teachers ahead of time so they know your name (and pronouns) before they call the wrong one for attendance.

If you can, look into changing your name on gradebook or whatever your school uses, you can have your name changed in the system without changing it legally. (You can do this without parent permission depending on your school!)

If you arent out, try going by a nickname at school, pick a gender neutral one if you can! (For example if your name is jolene try going by jo!)

If you are out, look into getting (or making) a pronoun pin! Less misgendering from other students and teachers.

Look into your schools gsa! It may look scary, especially if you arent out, but being able to have teachers and friends to go to about issues involving gender and sexuality is really useful. Even if you dont go regularly, i always recommend looking into it and seeing what they can offer.

And remember, no matter what happens or what people say, you are who you are! One day you will look how you want and be able to present as who you truely are. You got this!

[yourlocalbiboy]

If you have a trans friend..

A personal vent, though this probably goes for others as well:

-If someone asks you if your friend is trans, It’s not your place to out them!

-If someone asks what their birthname is and you know it, Don’t tell them! It’s not your or their business! Just say you don’t know!

-Ask who your friend is out to and what people know them by, stop assuming everyone knows they’re trans (personally everyone at my school knows me as my new name and pronouns but I’ve told very few people that I’m trans, half the people who know I’m trans are not people I’ve come out to.)

-Please treat me like any other student, i am not “inbetween” because I’ve had experiences presenting as different genders and i am not “basically a —“ because that is my birth sex

-I am what i identify as

-If I am not correcting people who are misgendering me and you know they know my preferred pronouns, please know it is not because I’m comfortable with those pronouns

-You don’t have to give me a speech everytime you mess up my pronouns or name, just correct yourself, don’t make it seem like a huge deal

-Don’t tell me I would look better if i hadn’t transitioned. It is not a compliment AT ALL. If i had not transitioned i would feel worse than i could ever look.

-If you are not trans, it is not your place to reclaim slurs used against us

-Me being trans does not mean you can ask about my genitals, if you’re not sure when you can ask, act as if I’m cis and see if the question still seems reasonable. (STOP ASKING ABOUT MY GENITALS IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS. WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED SO MANY TIMES.)

-Please respect me and dont act like trans is all i am

These are all based from personal experiences and conversations. Please make sure whoever you talk to is comfortable with what you ask. Treat us like humans, we aren’t oddities.