#NINJALIIKE.Β PRIVATE + LOW ACTIVITY πππ΄π π΄ π·π°πππΈπ½πΆππΎπ½ FROM NETFLIX'S Sβ uΔ±Ι₯κ κ€Ζβ uκ―κ€κS. SERIES + HEADCANON BASED. WRITTEN BY LAUREL ( SHE / HER ). 34. CST.
MUTUALS ONLY. ANYONE UNDER 21, PERSONAL BLOGS & BILLY BLOGS / APOLOGISTS DNI.
** ALL BLOGS ON SEMI-HIATUS [ PROBABLY ] UNTIL I GET MOVED / SETTLED HOPEFULLY BY MID-OCTOBER. activity will be much slower than usual, not checking tumblr quite as much & probably no writing at all until then. please, reach out via IMs or discord to chat / plot or write! **
due to my full-time job and enjoying most of my ( minimal ) free time offline, my time for tumblr has become very small. THAT SAID: iβm typically available via discord for chatting, plotting, and writing! i love plotting and really prefer developing out dynamics. so, please feel free to come yell at me anytime! i am also pretty good at responding to my IMs ( preferably at my main blog here β₯οΈ ) -- along with discord -- if you prefer one over the other!
RULES. ASK. SUBMIT. ABOUT. PROMO. IC WIRE.Β MEMES. PINTEREST.
I know this (and all my blogs) are on a pretty lengthy hiatus with no definitive end in sight rn (just cause life), and I havenβt really checked tumblr much at all in quite some time β but with the atrocities taking place in Palestine + seeing some friends post, I felt inspired and moved to actually take a minute to post something here, as well.
Schnapp and others associated with Stranger Things have made their racist support of this genocide blatantly clear β even disgustingly mocking and dehumanizing the Palestinian people. I no longer feel comfortable supporting this show (whether itβs watching the show, rping in the community, etc).
Writing Eddie (and Steve) has meant so much to me β this community has brought me some of my best friends, but morals > rp or a tv show. Zionists are simply and utterly unwelcome here, and it doesnβt sit right to support a show thatβs okay employing them.
πππΈπ²πΊ ππΏπ³π°ππ΄! i added my little hiatus notice thing to my pinned post [ copied from my blog @stillcominback ] just to make it easy to see where i'm at -- in case anyone missed my update posts in the past! miss you all loads but i'm around a lot on discord if you wanna chat, plot or write! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
πππΈπ²πΊ ππΏπ³π°ππ΄! i added my little hiatus notice thing to my pinned post [ copied from my blog @stillcominback ] just to make it easy to see where i'm at -- in case anyone missed my update posts in the past! miss you all loads but i'm around a lot on discord if you wanna chat, plot or write! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
ππ΄π»π», ππ·π΄ π π΄ππ³πΈπ²π'π πΈπ½: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!
i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.
i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a β¨noβ¨.
i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.
plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.
ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... π€ but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda
SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! β€οΈ
touch me with tender truth. you crave being known and held. you just want the warmth and pressure of another body against your own. sometimes, late at night when you're alone in your bed, your skin aches with the lack of touch. you've tried touching yourself, and it isn't the same. one time someone gripped your shoulder and squeezed it in passing, and you thought about it for weeks after - the ghost pressure of their hand lingering. don't you deserve it? consistent physical love and caring? i think so, i think you do. but i also have to ask - do you fear it even as you want? after all, if you get it then it might also be taken away. i hope that if you fear it, you push through past that fear. that you ask for the touch you desire and deserve. i hope that you get touched with love and kindness, wrapped up in warm arms and rocked from side to side until the tension and pain falls away layer by layer and only you are left.
tagged by: stole this from the dash!
tagging: @helbanish / @dunneham . @goofily . @shezoomer . @sythegun . @frederickjones . @shel0st . @heruns & you!
π ππππ π ππ πππ!! fanexpo was absolutely nuts, but overall we had a really fun time, met some insanely cool [ and attractive ] people, and came home a lot more broke but with lots of memories!
meeting joseph was a little bit disappointing [ i hate to say ] -- nothing to do with him!! he was seriously so lovely, kind, ridiculously cute, and i am so beyond grateful that i got multiple opportunities to see him / that he even does things like this! that said: the people who were handling him or whatever were just horrible. i've done a lot of cons over the years [ including this one ] and i've never seen an artist / celebrity handled this way. they severely overbook him to the point where it felt like it was impossible for him to see everyone, and i felt like i was lucky to get 0.5 seconds of his time. like with ALL my other photo ops and autographs i've had [ also with some big names ], i've had great experiences -- lines still move really smooth and quick, but somehow there's time for a hug or a cute little pose in a photo, there's time for like a couple words back and forth, just to make the interaction a LITTLE bit more special for each person who spent so much money for it and some traveling from out of state or country even!
again: it's not joe's fault at all and i'm still so so so grateful i got to see him! but the greed of the con really was just so frustrating because i feel like it ended up eating into what could have been more special, enjoyable interactions. it feels like $$$$ > the actual customer experience. like ... for my photos, they were just SCREAMING at us "NO POSES! HE WILL NOT POSE! NO HUGGING! NO PROPS!" i was like: "NO FUN!" like ... i get trying to keep things moving, but jesus, it was giving β¨hostage situationβ¨ and literally sucked all of the fun out of the whole thing. it was like: you walk in, they're all screaming and then you're just rushed in the room, thrown at joseph and SNAP! there's your photo BYE!
i feel like i didn't even have time to have A THOUGHT before they took the photo -- and i had 2 photos but hated my second one [ joe had his hand in his pocket and i ended up next to that arm which he didn't or couldn't move to pose better with me so, i just look like this awkward ass third wheel ... like i'm not even supposed to be in the photo ... maybe i cried about it! mind your business! ] -- and in the first photo? which i like better / have here, they didn't even catch the massive glare on my glasses for me to come back and fix [ again, i had like zero time to even think about how my head was posed so, i didn't realize! also: with my charlie cox photo? they caught the glare and called me back to take a second photo so ... ]
i also wanna say that i understand that some people don't wanna hug or do things, i don't feel entitled to celebs that way of course [ i always ask before things like that! consent always! ] but like ... i saw photos of joseph hugging people or doing cuter photos / poses -- maybe i just needed to say 'fuck it' and ask HIM instead of listening to the staff screeching at everyone, but that's just not my nature! i'm a rule-follower! lmao sgdasfdg
BUT Y'KNOW. i'm still glad i was able to do it, and there were so many other more amazing experiences and interactions that everything sort of balanced back out again. β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ charlie cox is a LITERAL ANGEL and i cannot deal with how adorable and sweet he is. jon bernthal is always a freaking delight [ utter chaos with the family taking photos with them before us like ... they had a baby that just burst into tears and it was literally ... so funny i cannot tell you. absolutely the perfect sum up to an insane day π ]. we met grace van dien and gabriel luna on total whims, and they were probably some of the kindest, most lovely people i've ever met. we gave grace a couple cute beaded "friendship bracelets" that we bought from a vendor at the con [ to match ones that my friend and i had got ] so we could like all be 'besties' and she legit loved them so much and we all just high-pitch girly screamed at each other ππ [ i think she even wore them the next day on sunday, too! π₯Ί ].
AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT GABRIEL LUNA HAS A NEW LIFETIME FANGIRL IN ME NOW. like, i loved him on the last of us, but we literally were just like: oh he's cute, we loved the show, and his line wasn't too long at the time so we were like 'hey what the heck, let's get a photo.' he was literally leaving his table just to come into the little line and talk to EVERY PERSON to thank them for being there -- shaking hands, eye-contact, hugs, remembering people BY NAME from previous days / events / etc. i called him 'the peoples' princess' tbh and i stand by it! he looked me right in the eyes and called me 'sweetheart' and i swear to goD i swooned [ the slight southern accent really did something to me, all that combined like are yoU KIDDING ME???? ]. then when we actually went up to chat and get our photo with him like ... he loved my eddie vest i had on and was like DO YOU HAVE THE DIO PATCH, I LOVE DIO ... he then sang at me a piece of a tenacious d song that mentions dio ... told my friend that her name was the same as his first love in high school???? called me sweetheart more, called us BOTH 'cutie patooties' and just .... i was like ARE WE BEST FRIENDS NOW??? but this kind of stuff is what i go to cons for: these really amazing, special interactions that i know i'll never ever forget. i'm pretty sure i just melted into the floor -- gabriel luna is a real one for sure, and i really appreciate him taking all that time and energy to make everyone feel so special! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
OH! then there was jodi freaking benson [ lovely! ] and sean gunn [ so cool! super nice! ] -- so, with all the madness, it was all totally worth it to meet artists who have created / been a part of so many films / shows / etc. that just mean so much to me! i appreciate them all for coming out and letting us nerds say hello! β€οΈπ NOW just to countdown until the july con where i'm gonna probably pass out after meeting andrew garfield and brie larson! lmao
ππππ!! it's finally here!! sdklhsjdafsdf i'm leaving on thursday to go to dallas all weekend [ back monday sometime ] for a much-needed fun little long weekend trip with one of my besties. we're going to fanexpo and we're gonna meet joseph quinn so ... there's a good chance it's just my ghost that comes back cause i'm gonna die probably πππ
