Hoe Wisdom - Manipulation
I learned from a very young age to make people believe about me exactly what I want them to. I learned how to walk, sit, move, and even eat in a way that makes me seem in complete control of myself and my surroundings, even when Iâm feeling completely overwhelmed and out of place. I learned to hide my anxieties and insecurities in a way that everyone thought I was always calm and put together. I also learned how to get people to trust me and tell me everything about them by masterfully displaying those very weaknesses. Iâll share some of my tips tonight, these tips might help you seem in complete control, help you get what you want and even who you want ;)
WHEN YOUâRE ALONE AMONGST A LOT OF PEOPLE
- If youâre alone donât stress about the fact that you are, donât worry about looking like a loser because you wonât.
> When youâre alone be sure to keep your posture. ALWAYS TAKE NOTE OF YOUR POSTURE. I cannot stress how important your posture is. Look up how to keep a proper posture.
>Snack slowly and take small bites, small and assured sips of your drink. Not too slow, just measure yourself.
> Learn how to strut. When you walk across the room to sit, to snack, or just anywhere, donât slack on your walking. Chin up, stare straight ahead, perfect posture, and have a very slight smile. The world is your catwalk, and yes people will be paying attention when you least notice it.
WHEN SOMEONE APPROACHES YOU
- If theyâre a close friend you donât have to worry much about how to talk to them because you know them, but your behavior still matter.
> When talking to them make sure you pay close attention to them and what theyâre saying. No extreme reactions, unless they truly said something shocking.
> Smile a lot, let others see that you can be approachable. Also, theyâre your close friend you should be smiling anyway.
- If theyâre someone you barely know then just breathe in, smile, release your breath slowly and greet them politely.
> Ask then questions about their life you have some knowledge about. Ask about their family, pets, children, partners, work/school, make sure theyâre the ones speaking more than you are.
- If theyâre a stranger wait until theyâre immediately in your personal space to acknowledge them, then meet and greet them only after they have directly addressed you. Keep an easy smile on your face, and when meeting them change your smile according to the impression you want to make (dazzling smile to charm, smirk to seduce, smile politely for anyone else).
> For strangers you donât know anything about them, ask them about things you are at least somewhat curious about. Ask them about their current standing in terms of job and or studies. Ask them about family and hobbies. Anything you would like to know or need to know to get some info on them.
> Make a lot of eye contact, but not too much, but make sure to keep your attention on them. Make them feel that you care about what theyâre saying.
WHEN YOUâRE IN A GROUP
Besides all the other things about posture, eye contact and smiling, when youâre in a group this is where the whole âpay them complete attentionâ does not apply. In a group make sure to pay attention to everyone speaking, let everyone have a turn at your attention. People who were steamrolled out of a conversation you ease them back in either by giving them your attention and let them speak to you directly, or if youâre feeling bold politely call out the person or people who steamrolled over them by calmly stating âIâm sorry to interrupt but [their name] was speaking, I want to know what they were going to say.â Donât do that if you donât feel confident, or if you care about possibly offending others, you should still operate within your comfort zone so that you can portray a genuine look of collected confidence.
NOW YOUâRE IN, HOW TO GET THEM TO TRUST YOU
- This is when you can start showing people bits of your true self. You should have real stories and anecdotes ready for when you get the chance to use them.
- Real stories and anecdotes are crucial because believe it or not people are actually adept at intuitively spotting liars. If the stories and anecdotes are real, with genuine feeling attached to them, they canât spot any lies because they will be the truth.
- Manipulating people is not about lying, itâs about using the truth to your advantage. Avoid lying and avoid exaggerating, so that everything you say and do is genuine.
- The stories and anecdotes you use must have some connection to the context of the conversation or the person youâre with. Donât bust out a story of a dying pet when the person youâre with never even had a pet. Donât talk about how you once failed an exam when the conversation was about this concert he went to with his friends last week. Talk about things in context, and if you have no material for a certain context then donât stress, you donât need to have something to say for everything. For every time you talk to them only share one personal story, avoid using more because then that shows too much of you.
- You want to show some humanity, but not too much because you want them to still believe that youâre some ethereal and strong entity that could probably crush them if they cross any lines.
To end, I just want to say that with this post I donât mean to imply that you need to act this way to be desired, to get what you want, or to be considered amazing. This is not the case at all. However, I know for a fact that some of y'all struggle with confidence and that you wish you knew how to display confidence even when you donât have it. Well this is a way to fake it until you make it. My blog is about loving yourself, but I know how long and tiresome that process can be. This is just a way to put yourself out there. Thereâs so much info I still didnât cover because then the post would be even longer, for any more info just ask me! None of y'all should feel that you HAVE to do what this post says to get people to notice you and like you, I donât want any of you to compromise yourselves for the sake of people that donât matter. But I know some of you want this, I found myself looking up a lot of this information way back when before Tumblr had this huge and informed community of wonderful people willing to share their knowledge. I love all of you and I hope Iâve helped some of you in any way.
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