Careless supernova (Jesper angst)
WC-1664 warnings (angst, arguments ig)
âWhen my time comes aroundâ
âLay me gently in the cold, dark earthâ
Jesper didnât know when the novice demo man became his whole universe; His moon, his stars, his nebula. All in one small auburn haired boy. He didnât know when the universe walked into his life. He didnât know when things stopped seeming so daunting as long as smaller slender hands were wrapped in his. When small shoulders brushed his and when the smell of chemicals became as home as that farm in the middle of the fields.Â
No, Jesper didn't know when Wylan became a part of him.Â
But he certainly knew when he was no longer there.
The wound still stung. It was open for all to see and this wasn't one that could be healed by a night at the tables and a bottle of his favorite alcohol resting in his hand. This wound ran deeper, carving away the very base of his being. This would stung more than any knife would or broken nose.
Wylan had nested in Jespers very heart and took some of it when he flew away.Â
The Zemeni boy closed his eyes, praying, no begging to the saints above that when his eyes opened he would turn to the side, his eyes would drift across their shared room. He prayed that his eyes would land on the merching, no, HIS merchling. But alas the saints above had no such pity for him.Â
His eyes opened and he was greeted with the dark red booth where he rested his tired legs. Taking a strong swig from the bottle with an unnamed alcohol within he willed his legs to carry him out of the bustling room. Stumbling Jesper took note of how the cold air nipped at his ears. Winter in Ketterdam was cold and unforgiving and in his haste to get away from that manor he forgot his coat. Just his luck.Â
âSaints it's coldâ The lanky teen murmured to nobody in particular
Making his way down the familiar winding streets and alleyways Jesperâs feet carried him to the slat. Making his way through the familiar building he prayed his room remained the same. Perhaps he could land within the stiff bed and he would wake and none of it will have ever happened. No pretty merchling, no heist, no van eck. None of it. He would wake and everything will be an astonishingly realistic dream.
As he pushed open the worn door he practically deflated in relief, his bed, as ratty and old as ever was still there and everything was just as he had left it. As the door shut behind him he felt the weight of everything come crashing down. Stumbling to the bed he prayed he would fall into the comforting embrace of unconsciousness and he would not have to face reality. Just not quite yet he wasn't ready.Â
Jesper wasn't entirely sure what pulled him from his sleep but he was sure that his head was utterly throbbing. Groaning, he rolled over in the small bed that hardly qualified as a cot and buried his face in the flat pillow. Inhaling the zemeni boy had a startling realization that the pillow smelled of him. Arrogantly he had hoped that everything had been a dream. That he could forget the loss of the night before. However, the startling realization that Wylan was everywhere. His whole being and everything encompassing him was here. In this room, it stuck to his skin like soot and gunpowder.Â
Forcing himself to pull away from the comfort he found he looked around the dingy room.Â
Suddenly a loud bang resounding from downstairs forced him to his feet quicker than he was prepared for. Shaking the dizziness from his head Jesper grabbed his holsters from his place where he must have discarded them on the table beside his bed, the weight of them resting on his hips gave a sense of security. Jesper took a brief note of the midday sun that lingered in his peripheral vision, he must have slept through the morning.Â
Daylight ment that Kaz would be in the club somewhere. Itching for something to occupy his hands, Jesper picked up a coin from the dresser. Forcing down the emotion at the thought that he had used a similar coin to craft his merchling a key to this very room down he flipped it through his fingers before setting his way out of the room.Â
As he made his way down the crooked staircase he paused a familiar voice sounding out through the club he forced himself to the wall.Â
âYou're saying you don't know where he isâ' Kaz's voice was gruff as always.Â
âNo i don't, I didn't see him show up last nightâ The barkeep was defensive.Â
âYour uselessâ Kaz is as brutal as always.Â
Taking a deep breath, Jesper made his way down the final stairs into the main room of the building. His eyes landed on Kaz Brekker, the bastard of the barrel, dirty hands, and Jesperâs bestest of friends.Â
âAre you looking for me?â he inquired with a raised brow and a playful smirk
âWhere were you, Wylan said you disappeared last nightâ Kazâs voice was rough and demanding. Jesper forced his face into neutrality before he thought too hard about Wylan.Â
âWhat, canât I enjoy the pleasures the barrel has to offerâ Jesper deflectedÂ
âJesper, You haven't been to the barrel to enjoy the pleasures in monthsâÂ
âKeeping tabs on me are you brekker, its okay, you can admit you care about meâ Jesper teased
âYou're a valuable assetâ Kaz didn't miss a beat. The boy's dark eyes flicked over jesper in an overly critical way. It made jesper uncomfortable, Kaz always seemed to know more about Jesper than he did himself. âPlus I have a job for youâÂ
Jesper perked up at the mention of something to do , he could use the work; it was the only thing other than gambling that kept him active. And blissfully numb.
âWhat kind of job?â he inquired. His mind was already racing 100 miles an hour.Â
âA wealthy merchant has been trying to buy out the clubs and pleasure houses. He is bad for business and I have set up a meeting. The meeting is cover, you and Inej will break into his house and steal a few documents from himâ Kaz was as unexpressive as ever. Jesper could tell he was leaving details out but he was too giddy with excitement to care.
âOkay, when do we leaveâÂ
âYou have two hours to prepare yourself, and jesper.â Kaz paused briefly as jesper turned to face him âi need you not distracted, Got it?â Jesper nodded before making his way out of the building, a budding smirk building on his features.Â
â- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - â-
As jesper made his way to the meeting point where he would see Inej his mind drifted. Landing unfortunately back on the merchling whom he carried heavy in his heart. He knew the words he spoke from the previous night had been unfair and cruel but he couldn't help it. Wylan had been working all week and Jesper selfishly missed him. He hadn't meant to annoy the boy but he supposed he had that unique ability.Â
Jesperâs eyes lifted from where they rested on the revolvers he had been cleaning. He took in the shorter boy's presence with a small smile. âWelcome homeâ He greeted. His greeting was met with a non committal humm. His brows furrowing jesper carefully set his precious revolver down on the coffee table as his long legs carried him over to the boy who was turned away from him, organizing his bag. âYou okay?â Jesper asked quietly as he touched the smaller boys shoulder. Flinching wylan has dropped the stack of papers he was holding.Â
âGod jesper can you give me two seconds of space ever?â The redhead had snapped suddenly, his eyes flicked angrily over to the zemeni boy as if demanding an answer.Â
âSorry i didn't mean to spook youââ Jesper was quiet, silently he prayed for an apology.Â
âOf course not, you just can't stand to leave me alone for two seconds. God I can't ever catch a breakâ Wylans tone was cruel, almost mocking.
âHey, I get that you had a bad day but that's not my fault I dont deserve for you to take it out on meâ Jesper defended himselfÂ
âOf course notâ Wyalns tone was snarky and sarcastic.Â
âYour unbelievableâ Jesper could feel his rising temper.
âOh? Im unbelievable, at least I know when to leave you alone, At least i dont need constant reassurance. At least i can go two fucking seconds without being annoyingâ Wylans voice began to raise.Â
âYour being unfair. This is not my fault.â Jesper was trying really hard to be understanding of the young merchâs exhaustion but he was getting fed up.Â
âYea nothing seems to be your faultâ The redhead mumbled
âGod you're being so rude right now, this isn't fair. I bend over backwards to give you space, read for you, help you when you need it and you don't see me being an ass about it.â Jespers voice raised as wellÂ
âNobody is forcing you to stay hereâ Wylan hissed out.Â
âYour right they aren'tâ Jesper stated as he turned around. Quickly gathering his things he turned to look back at the merchling. Wylan simply gave him an unamused look with a small shake of his head.Â
âGo on then, and don't bother coming backâ.Â
 And jesper did. He didn't wait to hear anything else as he stormed out of the house and into the streets of The Barrel. Him and Wylan were at odds again. He supposed it was perhaps for the best. A supernova as pretty and bright as it appeared was still a violent explosion.Â
Jesper failed to realize that he was to his destination before his body collided with a familiar redhead.Â
I hope you enjoyed, this was def rushed but I was lining to hoizer so that was cool and this was born, reblogs are appreciated and comments. lmk if you want a part two.