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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
we're not kids anymore.
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#extradirty
DEAR READER

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@yourpastryoverlord
Winona Ryder in Heathers (1988) Natalia Dyer in Stranger Things (2016)
Stop adding stupid fucking photos to this post!!!
consider this: don’t shit on things people like unless it’s
illegal
morally wrong
league of legends
award winning
not to be too millennial but
no money
no house
just avocado
Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.
It’s not good when skilled tradesman are standing in the middle of your room pinching the bridge if their nose, is it?
Mark just referred to the wiring in our bedroom as “creative” and “interesting”.
This is fine.
And now he’s taking apart the ceiling. I’m not worried, are any of you worried? I’m not, haha, it’s not like this house was previously owned by someone who would do something stupid like try to wire their house themselves…or store tins of varnish under the furnace behind a secret alcove…
Ha ha…
Ha.
Hm.
Fuck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO NEUTRAL WIRES??!?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GROUNDED INTO THE SCREWS HOLDING UP THE CEILING LIGHT???!?!!
I want to know more about this house
you learn to take the little victories
I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC
OMG SAME FOR BOTH
I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row
when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take
Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”
A Republican State Representative from Arizona may have set an internet record; going from total obliviousness to full blown furry in under 24 hours. Kelly Townsend, a Representative for Arizona’s 16th District since 2013 became entangled in a twitter debate regarding socialism and public education (Arizona public school teachers have been striking recently), when a twitter user named @andreuswolf called her out for getting “logically destroyed by a furry”. In what may go down as the defining moment of her political career, Townsend decided to ask “please educate me as to what a furry is.”. The fun began immediately.
This request was immediately answered with a deluge of furry pornography, photos of fursuits, links to furry websites, and pictures of dildos, being tweeted to the elected official.
Her lack of understanding was only worsened by a followup tweet, in which she interpreted the response as a threat of some kind.
Dictionary.com attempted to join the fray by providing a real answer.
Eventually, after several hours of non-stop fur-posts, she seemed to understand the fetish world that she had just provoked, and instead of recoiling in terror (as one would expect an elected official to do), she seemed to embrace it (or, got a hip young social media person to take the reins). She asked for her own fursona (after making a shrekpost).
She stipulated that it must be a lioness.
She seemed to be enjoying herself.
Which, here is where the pony-world gets involved (the only reason we would post this on the Horse News site). A horsefan delivered in glorious full-color.
ChocoPony tweeted her new fursona to her, which she even offered to pay for.
The story doesn’t end there, as shortly after receiving her new furry artwork, it became the profile picture for her election campaign page on Facebook.
Not even lying.
Even gave credit for the art.
These are real things that happened.
fascinating
CLOWN TIMELINE
I S T H IS T H E R E A L L I F E. I S T H I S J U S T F A N T A S Y
Any one of us. Any one of us could be Taylor Swift behind these URLs
How is Steve Rogers like the biggest rebel and the baddest bitch who fucks the system continuously but also the most righteous and honourable man who ever lived hOW
Maybe we’ve been tricked into believing that righteous and honorable means following the rules, when it really means following a moral compass for the betterment of others regardless of the rules. And Steve Rogers exemplifies that.
Amen to that
I’M DEAD AFSHGASJHJHA
U DONT KNOW ME OR MY LIFE
I once worked at a small graphic design agency. One of our regular clients was a company manager who liked to have a very involved hand in the design of his annual company magazine. He was ridiculous in a few ways, but this is my favorite memory of him.
This client would spend the year collecting political/newspaper style cartoons that he liked and actual photographs of his staff members. He would then, using scissors, cut the heads out of the photos and stick them on the cartoons.
They looked awful, with lots of jagged edges because he didn’t do it carefully and heads were usually completely out of proportion. These would come to us in a big envelope to be scanned in and used as fillers in the magazine.
My first year of doing his magazine, I offered to do it in Photoshop for him, figuring I could at least cut the heads out neatly and resize them so it looked better but he hated that idea. We all think he just really enjoyed playing with scissors and glue.
everyone over 5’5 doesnt deserve happiness
what???? didn’t hear u all the way down there????? do u need a ladder????? i can get u a ladder