Daisy Johnston is confronted by her stalker, who gives her a love letter asking her to meet him later. Little does he know, she’s actually Spider-Adagio… and she’s had enough.
Technically there could be a Spamton x reader fic that’s a parody on Scott Pilgrim because Spamton has 7 implied exes who range on a scale of deadly. Sadly this does mean you take the role of Scott Pilgrim.
so ive made Griffin's nicey of Tango (@irradiatedsnakes) in spore [2008]. would you, perhaps, care for a spore in this trying time ? peruse my waaares. (gifs and images)
if you want some pre-captioned gifs, go here (highly recommend!)
if you want higher quality, or unedited, versions of the gifs, go here
A few years after post-game. Established relationship. GN!reader. Unspecified home region, so up to you wherever you’re from!
Summary: Not long after you return to your present-day world, Volo shows up, too. (Various shorts about domestic, modern-day moments with Volo. Probably will continue more of these at some point!)
clothes shopping – (day one.)
One of the first things that you decided when it had finally, totally, completely sunk in that Volo had also made it to the present day, was that he desperately needed new clothes.
He couldn’t be walking around in a kimono during winter. The weather had just started turning icy. Besides that, it was clear from the moment he’d appeared beside you that people were unfortunately intrigued by him. You had too many thoughts about why, although you tried to disregard them. It was hard to neglect just how attractive Volo was though, and that he stood quite obviously a head above most others. You’d also lent him an overcoat so that he could accompany you outdoors, but it didn’t fit him properly, and that only worsened the staring.
Then, there were the comments as well.
A group of college students passing by spent much too long gaping at Volo. You even heard one of them ask if he was some kind of cosplayer. Another was raising their phone for a photo, and that was when you tugged Volo away.
If you weren’t in such a rush to find suitable clothes so your lover wouldn’t freeze, you might’ve turned back around and snapped at them, but you had more important things on your mind. Like how you’d just been reminded that Volo would probably need a phone, too.
“Ho-oh’s tailfeathers,” you mumbled the curse under your breath.
Tightening your grip on Volo’s hand, you leaned in closer to him and ignored how he blinked back at the students in unabashed confusion.
“I will say,” Volo began as he threaded his fingers through yours, “I’m quite curious to know what a ‘cosplayer’ is.”
You were too busy watching the crosswalk light to humor him, however. “See? This is a crosswalk light. When it’s red, that means we can’t cross, but when it turns green, it means we can go. The flashing numbers mean how long we have before we can’t cross again.”
Volo nodded, keeping pace with you as you hurried down the street. There were plenty of things he didn’t yet understand about your modern world, but he was doing his best to remember all of them, at least.
“Oh, and,” you said with a start, when you made it to the other side, “I’ll explain what a cosplayer is some other time.”
“Perhaps it’s not something you need to worry about at all,” answered Volo immediately, his brows furrowing. He’d noticed that you were on-edge. It was obvious that his presence was concerning you to the point where you were stressing yourself out.
You shook your head. A knowing smile flitted onto your lips, despite how anxious you seemed. “Everything about you—whatever’s on your mind, whatever you want—that’s all I think about. You’re bound to have more questions anyway, aren’t you?”
“Well, yes, but—”
“We all know what happens when you have unanswered questions,” you laughed shortly, some amount of your anxiety melting away when you saw him huff and roll his eye at you.
“You’re quite unfair, my love.”
“And you’re not?”
However, you were unprepared for the smirk he gave you then, followed by the swift peck to your forehead.
Volo chuckled at your startled reaction. “Hm, I suppose I am.”
“I’ll get you for that one,” you promised him as you harrumphed. “But later.”
Without waiting for him to reply (you did hear him laugh), you headed into the department store. There was still plenty for you to do, after all.
The doors whirred shut behind the both of you. The warmth of the heater at the entrance was certainly welcome, and instinctively, you gathered Volo’s cold hand between yours, rubbing it slowly. He’d been preoccupied with the splendor of the building, but noticing what you were doing, he turned to you, a gentle smile on his face. Looking at him with a similar, tender expression, you left a kiss upon his fingertips, then dropped your linked hands back to your side.
Volo squeezed your hand. You squeezed his in reply.
Then, squaring your shoulders as if you’d just received a much needed burst of energy, you announced, “Okay. Let’s get you some new clothes.”
While you rode the escalator up a few floors, you explained what the machine was, what to expect when buying clothes, and that you were lucky you were visiting during early afternoon on a weekday. Fewer people were about, and you didn’t have to deal with fighting crowds of shoppers like on weekends.
Volo seemed amused by your final point, especially after you’d likened it to the days when Anthe released a new line of clothes. It was a bit nostalgic though, to think of the time now past you both, but Volo was just glad that you were with him now.
He was pondering the memory, nearly lost in his own musings, until you told him that you’d reached the boutique floor.
With another word of encouragement, you smiled at him again—really, all Volo needed was you, and oh, your smile, how that made him practically forget where he was—and walked toward the storefront.
An employee, dressed in a trimmed suit, bowed and greeted you both as you approached. However, when he straightened upright again, you saw his eyes widen, and one of his hands nearly lifted to cover his face.
“Oh my goodness,” he said, shocked, whether by Volo’s mismatched clothes or the fact that he was alarmingly handsome, you didn’t know.
Hesitantly, you waved at him before urging Volo inside the boutique. You wanted to pretend as if you hadn’t really been there at all.
After sequestering yourselves at the back of the store, you finally breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe the staff had deduced you could manage without any of their help, as they left you alone where you were. It was better if you avoided any questions, even those unspoken, and simply focused on Volo.
He was still holding your hand. He was also regarding you with a mixture of worry and kindness, so much so that your heart trembled.
You looked away, feeling an inexplicable nervousness, as if you were once again surreptitiously harboring a crush on the man.
“If you see something you like, just let me know. We’re looking for warmer clothes for now, but it would be nice to get something you want to wear,” you rattled off, trying to settle your heart again.
The look on his face changed as he dipped in close to you and whispered, “I would much rather trust your judgment about what looks best on me.”
“That may be a bit difficult…”
“Why? Is it because you prefer nothing on—”
“Volo!”
He just laughed at you. But you knew what he was doing. He was trying to take your mind off your troubles.
“I jest, my love.”
Sighing with a smile, you swung your intertwined hands forward, a sign you’d like him to walk with you as you inspected the displays. Although you’d been worried about Volo since he’d quite literally been dropped into your world only a few hours prior, you had to admit that you enjoyed this moment with him. Shopping together wasn’t really something you had often done in Hisui. It was different then, much different, despite how you’d already lived with one another for years, in your little home.
Briefly, you wondered what had happened to it.
“What about this?”
You were glad that Volo had brought you out of your reminiscing. He was here with you. That was what was important.
“Oh!” Your attention was now fully on the sweater Volo was holding. “That’s exactly what I was thinking we should look for first!”
Volo tilted his head meaningfully. “We think quite alike.”
You eyes softened.
“Of course we do.”
Reaching out, you took the sweater from him and examined it carefully. It was a pale cream color, with light blue buttons that reminded you of the markings on Togekiss. Your lips twitched upward. Of course, you probably weren’t the only one thinking of the resemblance.
You peered at the tag on inside its collar and at the rack it’d been on. “It’s a good brand, Altaria and Blu.”
“And what does its name mean?”
“They’re a family of Pokémon—Swablu and Altaria. They kind of look like clouds, but they’re actually birds.”
“Hm. I would like to see a Pokémon like that one day.”
Draping the long sweater over your arm, you returned to perusing the other options while chatting idly. It was peaceful—more than you’d thought it’d be. Maybe it was because your nerves had eased themselves a little. It also helped you overlook how much this all might cost you. You could manage. Anything, for him.
For the most part, however, Volo defaulted to letting you choose his clothing for him, despite how often you tried to get his input. It was nice that he trusted you to do so—even if he was right beside you, observing what you selected for him. Once more, you couldn’t help thinking of how regular something like this could be for the two of you.
A normal life. Maybe not like the one you’d had in Hisui, but one where you’d be together, forever. You smiled at the thought.
Volo seemed pleased, too. Maybe it was because he liked what the two of you had picked. Similar sweaters, warm cargo pants, a variety of button-downs, and some comfortable, stay-at-home clothes, among the other clothing necessities like undergarments and shoes. (The sandals he was wearing had to go.)
…Or maybe it wasn’t really the clothes, but the principle of it all. That he was just as happy to be with you as you were with him. You caught him staring at you fondly—once when you were deeply scrutinizing a trendy pair of track pants and then when you were describing the different fabrics often used for modern-day clothing. He only smiled at you when you’d asked if something was wrong, before saying that he simply loved hearing your voice.
You had to wait a moment before you could actually make your way to the register to pay.
The exchange with the cashier went about as you’d expected though. They seemed curious about Volo, but you appreciated that they didn’t say anything. They did grin when you mentioned that Volo would be wearing some of the clothes you’d purchased out.
You sighed as the two of you left the boutique. You were glad that everything had gone smoothly, even if you’d been particularly worried on the way here.
Taking Volo’s hand again, you checked the time, then said, “We’ll go shopping for more clothes on another day, but for now, this should hopefully work.”
“I was worried about you.”
“Huh?” You looked up at him, surprised by the unexpectedness of his remark.
Volo plucked the bag of clothes you’d been carrying and hooked it over his elbow. He glanced at you softly. “You were worried about me throughout the entire afternoon. I was unsure of what I could do to help.”
“Volo…”
He smiled at you, and then he was the one guiding you down the sidewalk.
“But there’s no need to worry about me. As long as I am with you, I will always be all right.”
Your heart fluttered. How could he always say such things like this…?
“More than all right, surely,” he continued, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand. “No amount of words describe how fortunate I am to have you with me.”
Volo leaned in and laid a kiss upon your cheek.
“I’m just happy to be here with you, my love.”
grocery shopping – (a few days.)
“What’s that?”
Stopping your shopping cart, you turned back to Volo. He was slightly bent over the open-top freezer stretching alongside you and pointing at something within one of the containers.
You poked your head over the edge of the freezer. When you saw what he was pointing at, you couldn’t help smiling.
“They’re frozen pancakes.”
Volo scrunched his nose. He seemed unsure of why they were the way they were.
“The amount of frozen food that is here is… astounding.”
You held back your laugh. It was cute to see Volo like this.
“Of course, you can make pancakes without having them frozen. Maybe we should make some tomorrow morning.”
Volo nodded, moving to you again. He laid his arms over yours as you turned to steer the cart, his chest pressed against your back.
“Lovely.” You felt his voice rumble up your spine, and his warmth was almost instantly overwhelming.
Why did it always feel like you were falling in love with him all over again?
“…You’re lovely,” you told him, tilting your head back to look at him with a grin.
Volo laughed, and before you had a chance to react, he stole a kiss from you.
cooking – (two weeks.)
You were exhausted.
Work, to put it plainly, had sucked.
What you needed now was a chance to relax, to forget about everything that had happened, and ready yourself to repeat it all tomorrow.
What you didn’t know you needed, however, was waiting for you when you opened the door to your apartment.
“I’m home,” you called out tiredly. You kicked off your shoes, unbothered by how they’d flown somewhere across the front entrance, and barely remembered to slide on your slippers before ambling farther inside.
Something smelled nice—a savory, light scent. Maybe Volo was cooking?
“Welcome back!” came the sing-song voice from the kitchen.
Immediately, a smile flickered onto your lips. Oh, this man…
Poking his head out from down the hall, Volo waved at you. He rounded the corner, and you noticed he was also wearing an apron, confirming what you’d thought earlier. You wanted to run to him, to laugh, to scream about how glad you were to see him, but instead, you could only offer him the weak smile that was already on your face.
Volo covered all the ground to you, then embraced you gently. It was wonderful to feel him so close to you, with his fingers tracing soothing circles into your back.
“Another rough day?”
“Mhm.”
“Hm. Perhaps I should ask Giratina to… pay a friendly visit to a select few.”
You laughed. That sounded nice. Giratina, scaring your terrible boss and awful coworker.
“Maybe. Maybe, Volo.”
…
Volo smiled. The two of you wandered back to the living room, where you finally saw what Volo had been up to. An array of dishes decorated the dining table, with a hot stew at the center of it all.
“It’s just something simple,” began Volo as he cradled your hands in his own, “but I thought it might be a nice to have a fuller meal.”
Warmth flooded your heart.
“I love you,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss him.
He was more than glad to accept your kiss, and then he answered, an echo of your words,
Borderlands 2 Locations rated by how well I would fare there as an ice cream truck driver, sorted by worst to best
DLC locations excluded because I'm a broke bastard and the list is long enough as it is.
19: Caustic Caverns
There's nothing there! The only customers I would get are Threshers and Varkids, both of whom I have a boiling, seething hatred for, and there's acid lakes everywhere! That'll ruin my truck! All I'd have for company would be Elyse Booth's severely depressing echos and the (frankly bangin') ambient track.
Most requested flavour: Varkids love the taste of soft, tender ice cream vendor.
18: Southern Shelf
Have you ever looked at a glacier and thought: Yes, that's the perfect place to have me some of that cold sugar cream? Me neither! And given Captain Flynt's propensity for torture I don't think it's the safest turf to drive a truck through. My one (1) customer would be Sir Hammerlock way up on Liar's Berg, and he'd mostly buy my stuff out of a sense of obligation and pity. Also Claptrap is there.
Most requested flavour: Minty Chocolate, by Sir Hammerlock and Sir Hammerlock only.
17: The Bunker
I bet Angel's never had ice cream. I bet Angel's not allowed to have ice cream. I bet I'd just make myself sad trying to describe the taste the different flavours I have to her, knowing full well she'll never sample them.
Most requested flavour: Berry Mix, most requested but never eaten as again, Jack won't let me through to the control core.
16: Wildlife Exploitation Preserve
Not only do I have to listen to the screams of victims of torture and experimentation, I also have to contend with all manner of starving and mistreated beasts attracted to the smell of my truck. And as cute as they are, I'm pretty sure having a puking skag try to get into your freezer is unsanitary.
Most requested flavour: All of the contents of my truck, after it's been flipped over by hungry skags for the third time this week.
15: Arid Nexus
Now that's just a depressing locale. Nobody sees the ruins of their former home and thinks man, I could go for some soft serve right now. And once again, my clientel would consist of mostly bandits, so I get to be vaguely sad and constantly fearing for my life and cream.
Most requested flavour: Pistachio, a sad flavour for sad people stuck in the past.
14: Sawtooth Cauldron
Is a bitch to navigate even on foot, you think I can get my ice cream truck through there? I get hopelessly lost there even when I can somehow get myself from Point A to Point B situated 100 feet below without shattering my ankles along with every other bone in my body, you think my truck can handle these stunts?
Most requested flavour: Rocky Road - nuts to crack a bandit's teeth and marshmallow to pull them out.
13: Opportunity
Now initially, Opportunity scores some points by being a clean environment filled with workers who have experience with the process of exchanging money for goods and services. Naturally, these workers only have a five second break to work with, so I would probably have to invest in some kind of ice cream cannon to immediately transfer that milky goodness into the workers' waiting mouths. All that's left is to become a class traitor and completely sell out - and become an asset of the Hyperion corperation for life and after death.
We have canon evidence that there is a demand for ready-to-eat cuisine in Lynchwood, given their grilled skag stands. With my truck, the Lynchwoodians don't even have to cross the street to get their fix, I'll come straight to their doorstep! My only problem is Nisha, and the iron fist she rules her kingdom (sheriffdom?) with. Do I trust myself to run an ice cream truck without breaking any laws? Given that while writing this I am literally listening to the Borderlands UST which I priated I absolutely don't.
Most requested flavour: Malaga (rum soaked raisins). It's Nisha's favourite. All other flavours are illegal.
11: The Fridge
I know that the general code of conduct when you see someone shoplifting is to ignore it, but when there's a tunnel rat up to their elbows in a tub of soft serve, I've got a health code violation on my hands - or rather, on theirs. On the plus side, I just know these rats are always, always hungry and Laney has proven that with some kindness shown they're ready to act like a person and consider alternatives to cannibalism.
Most requested flavour: That One Fucked Up Old Bay Seasoning Ice Cream From The Brian David Gilbert Video, You Know The One.
10: Eridium Blight
I have one customer and one customer only: Mal the Human Man. That's alright, because Mal the Human Man is aching for the normal human activity of shoving frozen sugary udder juice into his facial orifice and making uncomfortable small talk. Also, you can't beat that Eridium Blight view. And it's got a place called Lover's Leap - what a romantic location to enjoy a sweet treat!
Most requested flavour: Cosmopolitan, the most average flavour.
9: Hero's Pass and the Vault of the Warrior
Close your eyes and imagine with me: You're about to enter the vault, taking the final step in your fight against the man exploiting and aiming to eradicate Pandora. All of a sudden, you hear it - a jaunty little jingle. Why not have a last ice cream before facing your destiny?
Yeah, I don't get a lot of repeat customers.
Most requested flavour: Y'know when people were convinced the world was going to end in 2012 and ordered food with gold flakes on them because they thought they weren't going to have to pay? Yeah, I don't think I'll see them again.
8: Frostburn Canyon
Now I readily agree that it is far too cold to sell ice cream in Frostburn Canyon. However, the cult of the Firehawk politely disagree - no cold confectionary treat is too cool to douse the flames of passion in their hearts or something. That's fine by me - I'll just make sure to slap on a temporary firehawk tattoo to avoid getting human sacrificed.
Most requested flavour: Dark chocolate and flamin' hot chili.
7: Three Horns
The high rating of these locations (yes, I combined Three Horns Valley and Divide, what are you gonna do about it) hinges on one locale only: Bloodshot Stronghold. If I play my cards juuuust right, I might become a Marcus-like figure to them, a deity to be praised and sacrificed to because I'm the bitch who brings the ice cream. If I play my cards wrong I'll just get shot on sight, of course.
Most requested flavour: Flanksteak seems like a banana ice cream kinda guy to me. Banana ice cream enjoyers DNI.
6: Thousand Cuts
You can't tell me the Slab King wouldn't like ice cream, and buckets of it. Bet he has a real sweet tooth. My wellbeing of course hinges on his slabs recognizing the jingle of my truck and remembering not to shoot me in the face.
Most requested flavour: Strawberry with a little waffle and a tiny umbrella.
5: Tundra Express
Is it unethical to exploit the sugar addiction of an unsupervised child? Absolutely. Am I still gonna sell all of my ice cream to Tiny Tina? Again, absolutely. Am I terrified of what will happen if I cut her off for having had enough sugar for the day? AB-SO-LUTELY.
Most requested flavour: Blue (whatever that tastes like) with lots of sprinkles. Like, covered in sprinkles. Eclipsed by sprinkles.
4: The Highlands
The entire concept of an Ice Cream Truck was made for the people of Overlook. No need to leave your house, the food comes to you! I'll even write a little get well soon message on the napkins! And it's always a pleasure to serve a town where 99% of people are aware of transactions that don't involve bullets and/or expletives.
Most requested flavour: Cherry and cream, a fun flavour, if a little tame. Old Reliable.
3: Sanctuary
The people of Sanctuary need some cheering up, and pronto! These folk must have an appetite for sweet treats, and once I get my top surgery I won't even have to be afraid of encroaching on Moxxi's territory of big boobed gastronomy. Alas, Claptrap is there.
Most requested flavour: Some fruity mango-melon to shake off that pre-apocalypse blues.
2: Any of the arenas
I'd have to refurbish my truck into a concession stand, of course, but I really think business would be booming! Who doesn't want put some supremely unhealthy stuff (ice cream) inside their body while watching other people put some supremely unhealthy stuff (bullets) inside each other's bodies?
Most requested flavour: Salted caramel with popcorn bits.
1: The Dust
It's hot as ass, you've got the Hodunks who I just know would go googoo gaga over needlessly sugary artifical flavours in frozen cream, you've got the buzzard academy that play volleyball all day and will most definitely want to cool down with some iced cream, and should I ever get into engine trouble, I have Pandora's best and best looking mechanic right there!
Most requested flavour: Refreshing lemon-lime for the volleyball players, but you know I always hold back pint of cookies and cream for (Borat voice) my wiiiife Ellie.
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