Come Marching Home @youruncleirohlovesyou - Tumblr Blog

Have you taken care of your basic needs today?

In times of great stress, like holiday seasons and the end of the semester, it can be very easy to forget to take care of your basic needs. And when you feel yourself becoming more and more stressed out, and losing more and more energy, you may not even realize that part of the reason is because you are hungry, or dehydrated!

Be a friend to your body. When you feel that headache coming on, or the dizziness when you stand, or that nagging pull in the pit of your stomach, don’t write it off as “just stress!” Your body is trying to remind you that it needs fuel. So give it to yourself!

As you run from store to store to shop for holiday gifts, or spend hours studying to ace your exams, don’t forget that the well being of your body is equally (if not more!) important.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

On conflicts, and understanding others.

They key to conflict resolution is understanding. It is hard to come to an agreement on something, or respect someone else’s concerns, if neither of you understand each other.

Because we all grow up under different circumstances, have different life experiences, and perhaps belong to different cultures and subcultures, it is no surprise that sometimes, we don’t always see eye-to-eye with our fellow human! And it is very easy to convince ourselves that our “way” is best, and righteous, and anyone who conducts themselves in a way your perspective disapproves of is fundamentally immoral. Thinking this way is one of the quickest ways to ensure that we never reach understanding with anyone.

Before we can find it in ourselves to either reach compromise, or effectively sway the opinions of others, we must first accept that another person’s perception is their reality. This can be an especially difficult step to take - especially if we know, or believe we know, that the perception in question is not based in facts. It may be easier to set this feeling aside after we consider that right now, it isn’t about who’s right or who’s wrong. Rather, it’s about opening a door into the other person’s world, taking a look around, and seeing the world through their eyes so you will be best equipped to present your own perspective in a way they may be able to understand a little better.

Approaching conflicts from this angle may help you maintain control of your inner peace, regardless of the final outcome.

Remember that conflict does not always need to be a divisive force in our lives. Occasionally, if all parties involved can make an earnest effort to explain, listen, and understand, we can make a choice to turn conflicts into opportunities to become closer with those around us.

Also remember that not everyone is ready, or willing, to be so vulnerable in times of conflict. And very often, we, ourselves, will find that we are not ready, either. For our own peace of mind, it is important to accept this, and not to push. Instead, allow yourself to keep one hand extended so that someone else may reach back when they are ready. And, always find solace in the thought that when you are ready, someone somewhere will be happy to hear you out.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

“If you can’t say something nice...

Don’t say nothin’ at all!”

These are the words of wisdom given to us many years ago by Thumper, in Bambi. The sentiment rings true, but still, too many of us don’t always take it to heart. Sometimes, we think saying unkind things to someone will make ourselves feel better, or smarter, or more superior. We convince ourselves that certain people deserve for us to say mean things to them, and that by acting unkindly toward them, we have brought justice upon the individual.

Today, I hope to remind or convince you that this is not true!

No matter what someone else does or says, and no matter how we are feeling in a particular moment, there is always a kind and dignified way to express ourselves. Even when we are defending ourselves from someone else’s verbal attacks, we need not resort to name-calling and personal insults. “Calling out” someone’s harmful behavior does not have to include unnecessary negativity, thrown in only to boost our own egos.

You may have seen the “Before you speak, THINK!” poster. Some of you might find it cheesy - that’s alright! But I hope you’ll consider the advice, anyways:

T - is it true? H - is it helpful? I - is it inspiring? N - is it necessary? K - is it kind?

Chances are, no matter what it is you wish to convey to someone, you can find a way to phrase it so that it, more or less at least, fits the criteria above. And if we find that we can’t figure out how to say something true, helpful, inspiring, kind, and necessary, perhaps it is best if we choose silence - if only until we find a better way to say what we would like to say.

This is an important skill to develop - not just to avoid unnecessarily hurting others and to send positivity out into the world, but also to help continuously invite positivity into our own lives. When we make conscious decisions to choose light over negativity, we are training our spirits to feel positive in spite of external factors. And over time, we may find that we don’t have to think too hard about these things at all!

My wish is that we all do our very best to take care of ourselves, and the people we interact with.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

Problems, and solutions!

When something is not quite right, sometimes our first instinct is to complain about it! We want to express our negative feelings about the way something is, or something that has happened, so the feelings are not bottled up inside us. We want to make sure someone knows how upset we are, in the hopes that changes will be made to remedy our dissatisfaction.

But is simply “complaining” always the best way to go about it?

Before you make the choice to give voice to your complaints, take a moment to ask yourself: What are some possible solutions to this problem? Is there anything I can do myself to solve it? How can I ask others to help solve this problem?

By bringing possible solutions into a situation along with your complaint, you are demonstrating to those around you that you don’t simply expect the problem to go away because you demanded it so; rather you want to take a proactive role in solving it. When you offer a means to fix something that isn’t right, you are making a powerful choice to turn a negative into a positive.

Remember that in any bad situation, there is almost always some small choice you can make to make it a little bit better. Remember that you can always seek out ways to influence change, and invite positivity into your world.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

When we’re feeling hopeless and without energy.

During especially dismal times, often all we care to do is lie down and be miserable. We don’t want to move, or speak, or even think, if we can help it. We feel like in a perfect world, we would just sleep indefinitely. Despair can trick us into believing that there’s nothing we can do to ease our suffering.

The good news is that Despair is a liar, even if it is a rather convincing one. There is always some small thing we can do to make ourselves more comfortable.

Allow yourself to exist unashamedly in your current state of negativity, but as you do so, it may help to take a moment to truly take stock of all that you are feeling, both mentally and physically. You may notice, as you lie there, that your mouth is dry. Or your head is feeling foggy. Your stomach is growling. Maybe you need to use the restroom. Maybe your arm or leg has fallen asleep from laying in the same position for so long. Maybe you notice you can smell your own natural body odors.

After you have taken note of all the different negative and uncomfortable feelings you’re dealing with, determine how many of them you have the power to change.

If your stomach is growling, you can decide to have a snack. Something healthy is best, but in times like this, getting yourself to eat anything at all can be an accomplishment worth being proud of.

If your mouth is dry or you’re feeling dizzy, see if you can have something to drink.

If you have to relieve yourself, head to a restroom if you can.

If you’re feeling pain or discomfort from the way you’re laying, maybe all you need to do is shift around a bit, or turn over, or stand up for a few seconds, if these are actions you’re able to accomplish.

If you can smell yourself, you might wish to take a quick shower or bath, or even just use a washcloth and some soapy water to wash up a bit.

These may sound like basic, ordinary tasks that shouldn’t require any special thought or planning. But when we are in the grips of negative energy, it’s very easy to forget that food, water, comfort, cleanliness, and other things necessary to maintain wellness, even exist! This is why it is important to learn to remind ourselves to pay attention to how our bodies are feeling.

It may take you a few hours to realize what your body is trying to tell you; forgive yourself for this. The most important thing is that once you understand what you need, you begin planning to take steps to give it to yourself. And when you do, acknowledge that you have just done a good and important thing for your mind and body, and know that it is something to be very proud of.

It is my wish for each of you that even in times of spiritual grief, you are able to treat your bodies gently and with the tender care and respect that you all so deeply deserve. But when you don’t or can’t accomplish this, I hope you will find solace and encouragement in the fact that you can always try again another time.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

I’m back!

Season’s Greetings, everyone!

I hope you’ll forgive me for my absence this past year. But I’m back, and eager to spread joy and positivity. Stay tuned for daily posts about positivity, happiness, and self-improvement.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

Conduct yourself with dignity, and you will always have something to be proud of.

Throughout our trials and stresses in life, it can often be very tempting to act with hostility or vindictiveness. There are moments where we believe it will feel good to snap at someone, or call them out of their name, or exhibit otherwise negative behavior in an effort to relieve our own hurt feelings.

While it is perfectly alright to feel this way, I would like to suggest that we all make a great effort to conduct ourselves with dignity, even in the face of emotional stress. In any bad situation, we may not always have the power to make it better, but we certainly do often have the power not to make it worse. Sometimes, this is the best we can do. And when we can find it within ourselves to do it, it is something from which we can find the warm solace of honor.

To act with integrity even when your emotions insist otherwise is a great demonstration of discipline and self-control. It is very important to practice standing up for yourself and speaking your mind in a way that is respectful of both yourself and those you are dealing with.

However, this of course is not always easy. In fact, it is often incredibly difficult. It is something that may require lots of practice and self-reflection. And like always, it is most important to remember to allow yourself to falter in your endeavors toward self-improvement. Sometimes, you just may lose your temper. And when this happens, I hope that you will remember to forgive yourself, and offer apologies where apologies are due.

Discipline, dignity, and integrity are all choices we can make, and we are provided with many opportunities every day to choose these honorable traits over negative ones.

I hope you will all, when you are ready, consider these words, and think about how you can - in spite of other people - become an even better person.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

Some thoughts and lessons on hurt feelings, wrongdoings, and apologies.

Inevitably in life, we will all at one point or another be both victims and perpetrators of wrongdoings against others.

We often talk about what steps to take for yourself is someone has hurt you, but not as much conversation happens in regards to what steps we should take when we hurt someone else. So that is what I would like to address first.

Mean-spirited actions often come from places of anger and hurt. Such emotions can be difficult to explain, or even to recognize in oneself. But doing so is the first step in making amends. Sometimes it is hard to admit when we have done wrong. But most of us know deep down - even when we feel justified - that we have done something we shouldn’t have.

I am here to tell you that it’s alright. You are human. You will sometimes act on negative emotions in a way that is harmful or hurtful to others. Learning to accept this about yourself as a fact of your humanness will help you accept responsibility for how you make others feel. It will help you learn healthier ways to release your negativity.

When you realize you have hurt someone, it is important to have a long moment alone - perhaps while engaging in a quiet, gentle activity that you enjoy - and ask yourself why you made the choices you did. Maybe you were angry, or annoyed with the person. Perhaps your ill mood was influenced by something else entirely. Maybe the individual even wronged you first. In any case, it is likely that you were motivated by your own negative emotions.

It may be tempting to defend your behavior. “I wouldn’t have done X if _____ hadn’t done Y!” This sentiment may very well be true. But it does not have to prevent you from making the choice to open yourself up to positive change.

Many people choose not to apologize out of pride. This can be very damaging. Not just to the person you hurt, but also to yourself. Pride can be an incredibly toxic emotion if allowed to interfere with your compassion. We often use pride to protect ourselves from shame - in this case, the “shame” of admitting we are wrong. But as has been said before, pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.

We must recognize our capacity to lose ourselves in negativity, and understand that it is a fact of life. We must be willing to both extend genuine apologies, and accept them. We must be willing to prioritize peace over our fear of shame. We must realize that when we cause pain to someone, from there we have only two choices: The path of malevolence, or amendment. If we wish to proceed down paths of progress and peace, then we must be willing to choose amendment.

And what about when we are the ones who have been hurt?

It is important to remember that someone who truly cares to make amends with you will demonstrate as such with words as well as actions. The sorts of people I hope you will strive to keep in life should be ones who are not afraid to apologize when it matters most. They will acknowledge your feelings. They will acknowledge their behavior. They will tell you how they will change. And then they will change.

What about when someone doesn’t know they hurt you? If you feel safe doing so, and if the relationship is important enough to you, you are always within your rights to say, “I’m not sure if you are aware, but I felt very hurt when you ________.”

While we cannot force an apology out of anyone - even when we truly deserve one - we can use someone’s refusal of an apology as an opportunity. What do you learn about someone when they choose malevolence and spite over peace? People who make these choices are often battling their own toxic thoughts and feelings, much to their own detriment over time. This does not need to be a source of strife for you. Understand that a person’s refusal to apologize for hurting you is a reflection upon their character. Not yours. You are responsible only for yourself.

I hope you will all take a moment to think on your relationships with others. Is there anyone you should apologize to? Taking the time to start the process of making amends is an incredible gesture of kindness and friendship that will be felt in such deep and profound ways.

Kindness is always worth it.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

I’m pretty proud of myself tbh! I had a lot of bad bad stress recently and it’s still happening but I had some good days at work and I did really well and I got mentioned on the work instagram and got called by male pronouns :) I also did school reading way in advance and took notes and stuff! It's also my 20th birthday and I'm mostly just pretty stoked that I made it this far :') Love you Uncle! <3 <3

Such wonderful and exciting news! I’m incredibly happy to hear that you have been triumphing through your stress, and I’m so proud that you are able to see and appreciate the good things that have come your way. I’m also very glad to hear that you are taking your studies seriously, and getting work done early to help minimize future stresses! You seem to be doing very well. Good for you!

Happy birthday to you, dear anon! Thank you for coming to share a moment with me.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

#Anonymous

In many parts of the world, it is Fathers Day.

Hopefully for most of you, this means finding a moment out of your busy lives to show love and gratitude to someone in your life who has loved and supported you, or to pay respects to those good, honorable, loving fathers who have passed on.

But for some of you, today will bring anger, sadness, or confusion, and potentially stir up tension and other ill, toxic feelings.

It is important to understand that your feelings are valid. Some of us do not have the privilege of healthy familial relationships, and I hope those of you in this situation can feel assured that you are by no means wrong or bad for not having positive experiences with your fathers.

But remember - this does not mean that you cannot or should not continue to practice positivity on this day.

You may wish to take the opportunity to reach out to others in your life - be they teachers, uncles (!!!), family friends, neighbors, or coaches - who have supported, helped, and inspired you at any point in your life.

Or perhaps you’ll use today to focus on yourself, and on sorting through your own hurt and pain so that you may better understand it, and learn to heal from it.

You can reach out to peers whom have similar experiences to you, and remind each other that you are there for love and support.

Or, you may decide that today, your time is best spent going about life as if it were any other day (and I hope that means that you will live and act with gentleness and benevolence and understanding!).

In any case, remember to treat yourself with forgiveness and to be gentle with yourself.

I hope you are all able to find fulfillment today, in whichever ways you decide are best for you.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

#Fathers Day

I’m still here, friends.

I hope you’ll accept my apology for not having been around lately - please be assured that you have all been in my thoughts during my absence. I hope you’ve been able to keep yourselves safe, healthy, and happy to the best of your abilities, and know that I’m very proud of each and every one of you just for being here today.

I hope you’ll take a moment today to do something benevolent for yourself, or those around you, or the health of our environment - or all three!

Exam season has just come to a close for many of you - you all deserve to be proud of your efforts! If you are able, do something - big or small - to reward yourself for pulling through to the end of the semester.

Some of you are graduating high school or college - I’m so proud of you, and I hope that you are proud of yourself, too!

Some of you perhaps chose a different path for your schooling - I’m proud of you, too, for knowing what is best for you. I hope that you will continue to grow in learn in ways that will allow you to become exactly who you want to be.

Some of you may be delayed in your progress as you work toward your goal, whatever it may be - this does not have to be reason to despair! Life at a time like this can be incredibly stressful, and my hope for you is that you will remember to be kind to yourself as you navigate through any complexities and setbacks that you may face. Remember that even as you should allow yourself to feel and express any negative emotions, you can still make decisions (even if they are small decisions!) that can help you move forward with positivity.

Remember that even if I am not posting regularly, I am always around to receive messages. I always look forward to hearing from you, and am always happy to help with anything however I can.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

Remember!

Following through with a difficult path even when things are frustrating and stressful can often, in the end, be a great source of pride and a fulfilling sense of accomplishment. But do not rule out the possibility that an equal sense of purpose can be found by choosing to forego one path in favor of another that calls to your heart.

Both are honorable options, and it is up to you to determine which is right for your life.

#advice

Uncle! I have a problem at the moment where I'm doubting myself. You see, I have a chronic autoimmune disease called "Behcet's Disease" and it, as well as the medication im on to stop symptoms makes me very very fatigued and tired. I have classes from around 8:00 in the morning to about 6:00 at night and since I'm so tired by my 2nd class that ends at 3:50 I have to back and sleep... I'm missing one of my classes... I hate making excuses but I feel like it's necessary for my health. (1)

(2) I'm working with the disability services at my school and I've gotten good marks in the past (Even though I was in the hospital for a little). I have a test I need to make up for the class I'm missing and I'm pretty confident I can do it, I just need reassurance <3 Love you!

Thank you for reaching out to me, soldier.

I am very glad to hear that you are taking both your health and your education very seriously! It can often be incredibly difficult to balance those two parts of life. But as I’m sure you know, and will continue to prove: With a positive attitude, enough time, the right support, and lots of love and determination, you can succeed at whatever you feel inclined to do! I am also very pleased and relieved to hear you are working with your school to ensure you are able to do as well as you possibly can.

From what I can see, soldier, you are going to be just fine. I have absolute faith in you and your determination to do well. Remember to be honest with both yourself and your professors about how much you can take at one time, and remember - there is never any shame in taking care of yourself.

I believe in you!

Please do come back soon and tell me how you’re doing.

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

#raecoon

Hello, again!

I just wanted to stop by and remind you all that it is never too late to start making better choices for yourself. Just because you have had unhealthy, unsafe, or otherwise damaging habits in the past, does not mean you are doomed to continue! At any moment, you can choose to start with something as small or as big as you like.

Tonight you might choose to go to bed a half hour earlier! In the morning, you might choose a glass of water over a can of soda.

Perhaps you’ll begin your homework assignment two days before it’s due, this time, rather than one, like usual.

Any time at all is the perfect time to make a better choice!

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

youruncleirohlovesyou

Welcome, Soldiers!

Everyone deserves an Uncle Iroh in their lives, so I am here to be your Uncle Iroh. I am here to provide you with unconditional love and understanding whenever you need it - whether you need a safe place to talk about your feelings, or ask for advice, some wise proverbs, or just some kind words and encouragement, I will always be on your side.

So come join me for a cup of tea. I’d love to get to know all of you. :)

-Uncle Iroh

#advice #reminder #atla #uncle iroh

Recently I've been trying to run more and I'm proud to say that I should be able to run 3 miles in under 26 minutes by the end of the month! :)

This is a phenomenal accomplishment, soldier! I am so proud of your dedication and discipline. Thank you for sharing this wonderful news with me. :)

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

#Anonymous

How is everyone fairing today?

Everything alright? I certainly hope so, but remember that I’m here to lend an ear to any problems any of you may be having!

Or perhaps you might like to share some good news! I’m happy to hear anything you’d like to share. Perhaps you’re pleased with yourself for finally managing to make an important phone call. Or maybe you voluntarily left the house today after not feeling up for it in weeks! Maybe you just got your drivers license, or you received a good grade. Anything at all that you find positive, I’m happy to rejoice with you!

Love,

-Uncle Iroh

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Come Marching Home