Sam

theythem ♋♋ ♉ 23

[recaption]

[knifefightscene]

im mhdfhfsghdghdfhgc

[heyitsmeterra]

the ad breaks are SENDING me

[3minutesofplaytime]

How the fuck do people still fall for pyramid schemes just don’t open the fucking sarcophagus and the mummy can’t hypnotize you

[hardstoplucas1]

“If I didn’t see you then you didn’t do it”

[nattousan]

this guy is excelling in a completely unique genre of his own creation that consists of extremely relatable humor steeped in twilight zone horror and i am here for it

[princecarlton]

I need Jordan Peele to mentor him

[recentgooglesearches]

anime boy kiss suddenly guitar

[anime-boy-kiss-suddenly-guitar]

[mvictoriafineart]

a mosquito bit my neck :( the fucking audacity of that little bastard, that area is reserved for rich mysterious yet endearing vampires

[sexhaver]

remember when Koko the gorilla died and everyone on here was sad about it and then someone pulled receipts proving she had a nipple fetish and her handlers would encourage people to be topless around her? i fucking love this site where else am i gonna see a callout post for a dead gorilla

[dapperalbinobudgie]

She had a what now

[e-ghoul]

[alisonzai]

[topherchris]

[its-all-down-hill]

[ayellowbirds]

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

[monicalknighton-deactivated2018]

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

[bbybnnydddyrbbt]

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

[samwiselastname]

berries.

berries.

berries.

[moonlightandmarble]

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

[zorkat]

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent.  Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)” Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  - the next five items? Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

[alexi-bear]

Big Tofu

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

[stupidcommentdepository]

*attempts to log into bank account*

To continue answer security question: “Where and how will you die?”

types in “alone in a ditch wearing a clown costume”

*i view my account balance of $4.47*

[theafictionado]

Look the more I think about it over the years the more I realise I have a complicated relationship with Madoka Magica. But for all its gritty nonsense (both in the show itself and in stuff the writers have said in interviews), all those layers of capital P Problematic shit, and my constant desire to do battle with Gen Urobochi in a Woolworths parking lot, I still maintain that the ending of that series is incredibly powerful.

This is discounting the fact that Rebellion exists, of course. Just… that original ending, in context of the rest of the show, was such an uplifting punch to the gut that I still think about all the damn time. It was the saving grace of the show as a “deconstruction” of the magical girl genre because it actually put the conventions of the genre back together after tearing them apart and unpacking them in detail, but also, even regardless of that, it worked so well as the happy (if bittersweet) ending to that parade of sadness because it said

“Listen, here is a world where not everything is fun and sunshine, where the good guys don’t always win, where loss and grief are very real and prominent things, where it may seem that you’re struggling pointlessly against impossible odds… this is what you might call a harsh and realistic world.

This is the world, but hope is still a valid option.”

Hoping for something better, fighting for something better, and taking care of one another with unconditional love are valid options, not something silly and naive, and they’re what saves the literal universe in the end. Madoka’s love and optimism in the face of adversity literally saves the universe. For all its flaws, that’s the message PMMM left us with, and I still think that’s pretty damned powerful and ever relevant

[45888347-inactive]

cardinal truths:

-women be shoppin

-men get pegged

-cops are bastards

-shrimpin ain’t easy

[juneelite]

Why y’all let me learn this 😂😂

[tuesdaey]

someone brought me a gift this morning

[pointnclick]

i feel like eric andres desk