4: “I’m too sober for this.”
76: “Please put your penis away.”
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It all started with the keg stand, then the beer pong, then the body shots, then the keg stand again, and again, and again. Billy was fucking drunk. No, scratch that. Billy was fucking smashed, hammered, well-and-truly-fucked. And just the thought of being the one responsible for him tonight almost led you to the half full tequila bottle tempting you to drink in order to make the process easier. But you couldn’t really afford both of you being wasted that night.
“Billy, c’mon, we’ve gotta go.” You tugged on his arm trying to get his attention. He was in the middle of sticking his tongue down some girl’s throat and you really didn’t want to interrupt, but you knew that if you didn’t interrupt now then that would lead Billy to take the girl upstairs and you wouldn’t be able to leave the party for another hour.
Pulling back from the girl, he glared at you and how you were cockblocking him. “Just gimme twenty more minutes.” He told you, smirking back to the girl suggestively before making the move of leaning in again, but you stopped him.
“No, Billy, let’s go now.” You insisted, pulling him away from the girl again. You were doing this for his sake anyway. “It’s late and you were supposed to be home over two hours ago. Your dad will have your neck if you’re late again-“
“Fuck my dad.” He slurred, partially rolling his eyes but you couldn’t be sure because he was so drunk. Once again returning his attention to the girl, you weren’t going to let him make this worse. So you did what you had to do.
Grabbing a hold of his ear as if he were a child, you tugged him away finally, leading him through the house and toward the front door.
“Ok, ok, ok.” Billy whined, stumbling as he tried to keep up with you. “I can walk on my fucking own.” He grunted as you released his ear and tried to hold him upright. “That really fucking hurt.” He added, rubbing childishly at his ear while giving you a death glare but you merely rolled your eyes at him.
The pair of you walked over to where his Camaro was parked, Billy tripping over air a couple of times in that distance, before you opened the passenger side for him. He just stared at you as if you had two heads.
“Gimme your keys.” You told him, holding your hand out for them.
“What?” He snorted in disbelief. “I’m not giving you my fucking keys, I can drive myself.”
“Billy, you can’t even see how many fingers I’m holding up right now never mind drive.” You scolded him, while lifting up your middle finger to him as he squinted at your hand.
“Yes, I can. Uh, twenty-seven?” He asked before clocking on to what he said and giggling giddily at his own words.
You couldn’t fight the smile on your lips as he grinned to the ground at himself. You couldn’t lie, drunk Billy – especially this drunk Billy – was your favourite to be around. All child-like and happy, you didn’t mind it. It was when he decided to be an aggressive, violent drunk that he was a pain to handle, especially when he decided to start a fight with anyone that walked in front of him.
Here was the thing; Billy and you were friends, just friends. You never dated, never kissed, never slept together, much to the whole school’s surprise. Everyone was certain you guys just fucked when you hung out when really you did everything but. Your relationship just wasn’t like that (no matter how much you perhaps wanted it to be different). Billy enjoyed making his way through the girls of Hawkins and you just watched idly from the side lines at how every girl acted the exact same way around him; giggly, desperate and overly-seductive. And each one always grew angry when Billy would end it after they fucked because they truly thought they were the one to ‘change’ bad-boy Billy. You couldn’t lie, you did feel bad for most of them but sometimes it was satisfying to see some of the bitchiest and nastiest girls grow annoyed at him for treating them the same as every other girl. But never were you treated like that. No, you were the only exception.
Walking towards the boy, you hoked around in his jeans pockets trying to retrieve his car keys.
“Oh, y/n, I didn’t think you felt that way about me.” He taunted, poking fun at how close your hands were to his junk even though you were just reaching into his pocket.
“Oh, good God – I’m too sober for this.” You groaned, finally finding the goddamn keys before helping Billy into the passenger seat. Aiding him in putting on his seat belt, you quickly made your way to the driver’s side, trying to make this trip back to Billy’s as quick and easy as possible.
“Don’t you dare fucking crash my car.” Billy slurred, drunkenly pointing his finger to you.
The drive back was bearable. Billy mostly stayed in his seat, sometimes air-guitaring to a song that wasn’t even playing and sometimes just drumming his hands on the dashboard. You would have to say it was probably one of the fewer tolerable rides you’d had with the drunk boy.
Finally pulling into his driveway, you switched off the car engine before glancing to the house where it didn’t appear to have any lights on. You took that as a good sign at least for that would mean you wouldn’t have to encounter a furious Neil. You couldn’t begin to imagine what he would be like to Billy if he caught him stumbling through the house way later than they had agreed and fucked up beyond all repair. You would’ve hoped that you being there would’ve tamed the man, but part of you wouldn’t put it past Neil Hargrove to let all fury rip at Billy, even with an audience. But thank God, it looked like you wouldn’t have to worry about that tonight.
Helping Billy out of the car, you practically carried the guy through the front door as quietly as possible. Dragging him through the hallway, you made it to his bedroom, closing the door ever so gently after you. Finally, you were in the clear.
Dropping the him face first onto his bed, Billy groaned at you. “M’ jerms.”
“Huh?” You questioned, not understanding as his words were muffled against his mattress.
Lifting his head ever so slightly, he repeated. “My jeans.”
“Are you serious?” You asked. Was he really too drunk to pull off his own jeans?
“My jeans.” He repeated once more.
Sighing at him, you groaned. “Fine.”
You tugged the boy to sit upright to make it easier for you before finally you helped Billy remove his jeans as well as his t shirt. Lord knew they would be uncomfortable to sleep in, especially since his jeans were so tight.
But it was just as your back was to the boy as you folded up his jeans and placed them on his desk that he had a surprise waiting for you when you turned back around.
“Oh Jesus, Billy. Please put your penis away.” You gasped, holding your hands up in front of you face to block the sight you weren’t prepared for.
“But I sleep naked.” He whined, his boxer briefs stopped at his knees and you half expected him to stomp his foot in defiance.
“Well, I think just for tonight you can make an exception.” You told him before he finally decided to pull his underwear back up. Turning to climb back into his bed, you told him you would be back in a second before wandering to the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water and some aspirin. You hoped he had the worst hangover in the morning, especially after putting you through all this.
Walking back into his bedroom, you left the glass and tablets on his bedside cabinet before sitting yourself on the edge of his bed. Billy’s eyes were closed, his hair was in disarray upon his head and his mouth was slightly parted as he breathed deeply.
Reaching to brush a bit of his hair out of his face, you couldn’t help but smile at how peaceful he looked. Nine times out of ten, Billy’s face held a stiff frown or a knowing smirk, but right now he looked perfectly at peace. It was refreshing to see.
Pulling back your hand, you made the motion to get up from your bed, about to leave when Billy grumbled. “’ love you, y/n.”
You weren’t sure if he was awake, if he knew what he was saying, if he meant what he was saying, if it was meant in a platonic way, and perhaps that’s why you thought your heart had stopped altogether. You and Billy never told each other that you loved each other. It just wasn’t something you did.
“I mean it.” Billy then spoke again, one of his eyes peeking open to look at you. “I really just think that you’re the best girl in the world and that you’re too good to be my friend but I’m grateful that you are and I honestly think I’m going to marry you someday because you’re the only person that tolerates my bullshit and actually cares about me and I care about you a lot and you make living in this place ok and I just don’t want to ever lose you.” He rambled drunkenly and it was very clear that he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying.
“Alright Billy.” You grinned down at him, giggling softly at how much word vomit just came out of his mouth there. You gently rubbed your hand up and down his arm, taking his words with a pinch of salt.
“You’re laughing but I really think I am going to marry you.” He spoke, and there seemed to be an annoyed tone to his words and how you didn’t take him seriously, even though you could hardly take it as truth. “Will you marry me, y/n?” He asked innocently, his eyes now closed again as he rested but you could tell he was still awaiting your response.
“I uh…” You stared at the boy, a little baffled at the whole ridiculous conversation you were having. “Sure, Billy. I’ll marry you someday.” You told him, mainly just to shut him up and keep him satisfied more than anything, but maybe a part of you grew excited at the thought of you and Billy being something more than friends. But the realistic part of you knew that this was all just the alcohol spitting nonsense and that the blonde boy wouldn’t remember this in the morning.
And sure enough, when you teasingly brought it up to him the next day, prepared to mock him about it until the new year, he said he didn’t remember it. “I just remember that brunette at the party that you stopped me from fucking, anything after that is just a blur.” He had said. You couldn’t lie, you were a little disappointed but you surely expected it. It was silly to think he’d remember, especially with the amount he had to drink.
But little did you know, Billy was lying; he remembered everything from that night, and he still – even sober – thought it to be true.
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