Prince/princess x Devoted Knight
Basically you are a prince/princess and your personal knight really loves you but doesn't want to ruin your relationship so he keeps it inside and you're basically in his mind as he admires you from so close yet so far, feeling unworthy to even make a move. <3 SFW, slightly angsty with a happy ending. (2.7k words)
Seth’s back hits the ground with a hard thud, making his aching body shake in pain despite the snow that cushioned his landing, unable to bear his weight and support him any longer. Despite the cold, every piece of skin that touched the snow burned like it was caressing fire. Seth had been training since morning till late noon now and the consequences had finally caught up to him. Despite his pathetic state, his father didn’t seem to care, his father’s eyes were narrow, there was no light or emotion in his eyes, merely detachment. He was not raising a child but merely doing duty. His lips curled into a sneer and his nose crinkled slightly.
That look was a look Seth knew all too well, one he couldn’t seem to ever get used to. He feels his heart drop.
“You dishonor our name by lying in the dirt. On your feet!”
Hearing the yell, Seth tried to get up despite the pain, gritting his teeth while his blue eyes were shut tightly. His body shook and strained as his arms tried to help him up. No matter how much he tried, no matter how much his body burned from the cold of the snow, he kept on pushing himself up. But he couldn’t. He failed.
Seth feels his hair being scrunched, the pain of his hair being pulled by his father. He could feel the pull from every strand of his blonde hair sending jolts of pain to his head. “Must I remind you? Our family should not feel pain, should not feel anything. We are swords, no longer can we be called human. If I cannot sharpen you then it’s better to smelt you for your iron.”
Seth’s head was then dropped back into the snow. He then heard footsteps approaching from the soft crunch of the snow as well as the hum of his mother greeting his father in acknowledgement and the footsteps slowly fading but he heard a snippet of their conversation.
“You shouldn't be so harsh on him, he’s only nine.”
“The eldest is also nine and almost at Seth’s level. How could that not bring shame to the family? If the royals think we're useless then what good are we?”
Seth can’t hear the rest of the conversation as he lies there, flatly like a starfish on the snow, making no attempt to move. His mind was blank, filled with only pain and the fear of moving. Then you flopped right next to him on the snow. Seth tilts his head to look at you despite the pain, he was curious if you were in pain like him. You swept your legs and hands left and right in the snow, he couldn’t help his curiosity.
“What are you doing?”
“Making snow angels.”
“I didn’t know you could make angels.”
You giggle softly at his words, Seth had never heard something so sweet in his life. He didn’t think humans could make such a nice noise. It was different from the yelling of his father or the detached tone of his mother. The look on your face was sweet too, the way you smiled and your eyes closed like you had nothing to worry about in this world, he couldn't help but breathe a little slower just to make more room for your voice in his world, to focus on recording that laugh in his head. He found the rosiness of your cheeks from the snow to also be quite endearing as well, it made you look like a sweet treat, he hoped he could bite those cheeks someday.
You get up and without warning, grab Seth by the hands to haul him up. Despite the ache from the pull, you caught him off guard enough that he didn't have time to truly dwell on the pain. Seth leans against the training dummy for support. You then point to the snow angel on the ground.
“See? It looks like an angel.”
You point out before plopping back into the snow where your snow angel lies.
“You have to do it like this, see?”
You make the movements to make snow angel, slower this time in order for Seth to understand. Seth doesn’t pay attention to the motion, merely looking at you. Those wings, the ones that are supposed to be the angels, blended seamlessly with you. It makes you look angelic, it fits.
“Why aren't you joining?”
“My whole body hurts, I just finished training and I can't really move.”
“My mom told me a trick when you're hurt, you put snow on it.”
“No way! Snow burns!”
You grab some snow and sit Seth down gently, he tenses up, clearly scared. But when he looks at your relaxed demeanor, he couldn't help but relax as well. You tap the snow on his wounds gently and he slowly feels the pain easing, the snow was numbing his pain instead of giving him a burning sensation.
Seth looks up at you, the person who just made his pain feel more tolerable and notices your handkerchief, you're from the Royal Family. Suddenly he feels something sort of ache, not in his heart like when his father yelled at him but in his stomach, like something is moving in it. His heart was racing but oddly he didn't feel sad or scared.
“Your hands are like magic.” Seth whispers, loud enough for you to hear.
“I promise I'll protect you one day once I'm strong enough! I want to be your personal knight.”
—-----------
~Years later~
The Birchwoods, a lineage of noble knights who have sworn to protect the royals since before they could utter a word, who’s family legacy generation after generation is to keep the royal blood safe.
Seth Birchwood, like the rest of his family, found purpose in protecting the royals. Not for the money, honor, or family expectation. Yet, out of all his siblings, he was the most hard working, most diligent. He desperately learned everything there was to being a personal knight, he worked endlessly to identify poisons and suspicious people, to train his body and mind to lengths of dedication no other person in his family had gone to in a long time.
His reasoning?
Devotion.
Not to a God or some higher power. But to you, the heir to the throne. No matter how much his body burned or ached, no matter how much his head hurts after days and nights of studying, he would go on just to stay by your side.
Because what was he if not your sword? But you, you are magic. You've given the sword life, treated it so kindly that it grew to know how to feel, to desire.
—-------------
It was winter again. Just like every winter, it's the days that make Seth the warmest, after all, this was when he first met you. His everything.
“Seth! Look what I'm making!” You called out.
He looks to you and sees that it's a snow angel. Despite all the years, he still couldn't help but be breath taken, seeing you playing happily in the snow with those wings on you. It left him with indescribable happiness. Reminded him why he worked so hard, what he's trying to protect.
He almost reaches out for you, before pulling back. He's a sword after all, unworthy of such warmth from you.
You allowed him to feel, convinced him his family is wrong, that he was also entitled to happiness. Seth felt shame from what that happiness would entail, he wanted you all to himself despite being just a knight. He was not worthy of you.
That doesn't make him want you any less. He just wanted to clip your wings and drag you back down with him. Even though you couldn't fly, he would protect and cherish you, wasn't that enough?
He knew it wasn't, so he let you fly. But sometimes…
Seth was fixated on the shape of the wings in the snow, he used his feet to cover them.
“Hey! What are you doing?!”
“Just curious what an angel would look like without wings.”
Seth looks at you, teasing him by pouting and pretending you're mad and smiles. An angel is an angel with or without its wings.
—-------------
“I can't believe you're already this old and you still need me to help you put on your outer garments.”
You chuckle, letting Seth carefully put it on you, knowing he enjoys this routine as much as you.
“Come on, it's not like I'll ever stop having you here to put it on for me! Relax, it's only till I have my betrothed. Then that person can do it for me.”
Seth freezes, his jaw tensing and his heart drops, he breathes a bit, feeling your presence to calm him and slowly regains his composure before hitting you on the head gently.
“With that attitude, no one will want to marry you.” Seth hopes he was right.
You bump his shoulder as an act of retaliation.
“Hey! You know that's not what I meant. I could also help the person out with other things. Besides, I'm already betrothed to. They want me to get married so that I'll secure a partner before I become ruler. You know how my old man is with traditions.”
Seth felt like he was suffocating at that moment. He grips the garments, the closest he'd ever allow himself to touch you. He thought he could be selfish for just a bit longer. He didn't think you would be taken away so quickly.
“We're having dinner with my betrothed tonight.”
—---------------
Seth felt tense the whole day, everything went as usual but he just couldn't keep his nerves calm.
Seth's heart was racing the whole day and he felt sick to his stomach, this was worse than any assassin or harsh training he's ever gone through because he did those things to keep you.
But this?
It guarantees losing you. The one thing in his life he's suffered for. The one thing he ever allowed himself to want.
For the first time in Seth's life, he felt as if your gift of giving him life was a curse. You've given life to a sword knowing one day you'll take away its light. He should've stayed a sword, just like the rest of his family. Who knew wanting could be so painful.
—---------------
Seth always opened doors for you, he always insisted to. It was his only way of guaranteeing you might look at him despite your busy schedule of preparing to be ruler. He freezes, hands grasping the doors of the dining hall but being unable to open them. This was the day he was going to lose you wasn't it? He didn't want to give you up, he wanted to stay in the fantasy where he could be the only one by your side forever. “Seth?” You call out, confused as to why he's not opened the door yet.
Seth quickly snaps out of his thoughts and opens the door for you to enter. While the nobles were having a conversation, the food finally came in. Seth inspected the food before tasting it himself, just in case. He then hands the food to you. Watching your lips as you ate from the same spoon he did. It had always made him happy. He looks to your betrothed, knowing he has a lead at least for now, as stupid and childish as that is.
Seth's father looks at him from across the room, standing next to the king. His eyes narrow with that same disdain it did everyday of his life. That he failed to replace the spoon, to follow proper etiquette. Seth didn't care anymore, his father never cared for him, had broken him to the point he convinced himself he's nothing but a weapon. To Seth, everyone in the world is a sea of faces he didn't bother to recognize, except for his angel. His gaze turns back to you, softening and relaxing even more as he fixates on your voice alone and the way you ate so gracefully.
For every smile and laugh you share with your betrothed, for every touch of her hands on yours. It left Seth much more jealous and bothered than before. He had no injuries yet his whole body felt like it was dying, especially his heart. He was losing you. Seth couldn't stop thinking about all the compliments you gave your betrothed: When both your skins touched.
“My word, I must say, your skin is very soft.”
Seth looks at his own hands, rough from labor and training.
Or when you first met your betrothed. “You're beautiful, I love your dress and the way you curled your hair. It must've taken a long time.”
Seth looks at his clothes, dressed in the same armor everyday, he ruffles his blonde straight hair.
“I love your voice, it's as soft as your face, it truly suits you.” Seth clears his throat, acknowledging his deep voice while his hands come to touch his face, his features all sharp, none of them indicating softness.
Never had Seth hated himself more, if only he was softer, more poised, had more style. No, that wasn't it.
If only he were a noble, someone of equal standing. Then he would be able to touch you, declare you his, dance with you, give you an heir. He could truly be by your side. You would live in his light as he does yours. But the reality is, you don't need his light. He is a mere shadow destined to disappear without your light, merely allowed the privilege to stay by your side but not to touch or interact.
—---------------------
After the dinner, your betrothed pulled you into the corridor.
“Could you perhaps… talk to me alone?” She asks, you nod, dismissing Seth.
Could this truly be it?
Seth ran. He ran as fast as he could outside. He didn't want to imagine what you would be doing. There was snow. You always taught him snow numbed the pain, always treated his wounds with it, he lay on the snow, practically almost buried in it, desperate for relief, for the pain to numb.
So why does it still hurt?
What would he do now? Even if he stayed by your side, he knows it won't be enough. When he opened his eyes, he was met with yours and in surprise, he quickly got up.
“W-what are you doing here?” He asks, his stupid heart starting to race again at the sight of you coming to sit besides him.
“Turns out my betrothed already has a lover and begged me to call off the engagement, so I did.”
Seth was happy, more than happy, it was hard for him to hide it. Not when you also looked very happy.
A long comfortable silence stretches between the two.
“I… I was too much of a coward to tell you that I love you. You've been so good to me, it was impossible not to fall for you, you know? You make it so easy.”
Seth pinched himself, thinking it was a dream, his eyes gleamed as he saw you smile at him, looking at him with those beautiful lit up eyes, gleaming in the moon light. Seth couldn't say a word, he simply took you into his arms and hugged you tightly, relishing in your warmth in the cold winter as you laughed at his reaction.
The kisses your cheeks that are rosy due to the cold, he couldn't help but nibble a bit on them, you laugh.
“Hahahah! That tickles!” You say as he treats you like a snack. The two of you flop down on the snow.
“The stars are beautiful today”
He loved seeing how happy you are admiring the stars with him. He saw the reflection of those stars in your eyes.
“I know.”
Seth reaches out and takes off one of your gloves before taking off one of his own. He hesitates for a moment before locking your arms together, relying on each other for heat now.
You snort at the comment.
“You're not even looking.”
“I am, they're prettier from where I'm viewing them.”