Sweet Dreams~ @yuuchandesu - Tumblr Blog

you know i’ve been into kagerou project for legit years and i still don’t know what the fuck is going on

a sort of follow up to this post and this one too

can you imagine if summertime record is haruka’s eulogy, and the series is closing with haruka accepting that he was loved and enjoyed life after everything and that’s he’s able to accept death now//

i find it hard to believe that summertime record is the mekakushi dan saying goodbye to each other/leaving on their separate ways, especially since it’s from haruka’s pov and there’s tons of canon evidence pointing to the ‘haruka dying and saying goodbye’ route.

but can you imagine if there’s something even more tragic behind it?? summertime record’s lyrics emphasize a lot on the concept of memory and haruka trying to recall the memories konoha left in him;

怠いくらいの快晴だ

徐に目を閉じて

“ A memory that just won’t come

It’s getting harder everyday”

騒がしさがノックして

生まれた　感情さえも

頭に浮かんでは萎んだ

「幻なのかな？」

“ Even the things that I felt from before Born in the noise that had knocked at my door Fold in my mind and slowly flying out of sight “Was it all a dream in the haze?”

君はどんな顔だっけ

なぜだろう、思い出せないな

“What did your face look like back then? I don’t know why, but I can’t see it at all”

泣かない様に、吸い込んで

「さようなら」しよう

秘密基地に集まって

笑い合った夏の日に

「また何処かで思い出して

出逢えるかな」って

“Let’s breathe the air, try not to cry It’s time to say our goodbyes A secret place for me and you We laughed away the Summertime blues “Remember every page somewhere” “and we might meet” So I will draw it again”

^the aforementioned lyrics hint strongly towards haruka somehow forgetting and not being able to recall the past days konoha and the mekakushi dan had together.

what we know is that haruka’s body state was slowly deteriorating, bringing him slowly and closer to death. he even states in the novel, “i don’t even know what rice tastes like anymore…!”

it’s not a far stretch to say that as haruka’s health was declining, if he was able to forget what rice tasted like, that any other memories he had were slowly disappearing as well.

what if haruka wasn’t just trying to draw the ‘perfect image’ of what those days with the dan were like//

what if he was trying to capture the memory on paper before it went away entirely?

#WHY AM I STILL BEING SAD OVER THEORIES EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME #NOT OKAY #kagepro

if you give me a task with no deadline i will literally never do it but if you give me a deadline i will get it done exactly 1 hour before the deadline even if the deadline is in six years

kaseysellingseashells

lovepsychothefirst

#this is ADHD#or possibly another executive function disorder but ADHD is the only one I really know about#the reason for this is an ADHD brain does not have an internal feedback system#ADHD brains require external input to make up for missing executive functions#like the ability to process multi-step tasks with delayed consequences#because to an ADHD brain#things don’t exist in the absence of consequences#meaning#people with ADHD are drawn to things like video games because the feedback is external and immediate#every action you take has an immediate effect on the game environment#and you can SEE that your actions are providing xp or moving a task towards completion#but for something like homework#the consequences of that homework being done do not exist until that homework must be turned in#and it’s either done or not done at that point#which is why people with ADHD function best closest to deadlines#the consequences of that work being done must be IMMEDIATE to compel the brain to see it as a task that requires completion#because the further out a task is from the consequences of it being done#the more an ADHD brain is incapable of acknowledging it#TASKS DO NOT EXIST TO YOU UNLESS THERE IS IMMEDIATE EXTERNAL FEEDBACK#THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH ADHD BECAUSE TO OTHER PEOPLE IT DOES LOOK LIKE LAZINESS#BUT A LAZY PERSON JUST WOULDN’T DO THE TASK AT ALL#AND ADHD PERSON STRESSES THEMSELVES HALF TO DEATH TO GET THINGS DONE#BUT ISN’T CAPABLE OF STARTING THEM EARLIER TO PREVENT THE STRESS#BECAUSE THE TASK DOES NOT EXIST UNTIL IT NEEDS TO BE EITHER DONE OR NOT DONE#IT’S KIND OF LIKE SCHRODINGER’S BOX#THE TASK DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DONE OR NOT DONE UNTIL THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR ITS STATE OF COMPLETION#so what LOOKS like laziness to other people#is actually a VERY SERIOUS FAILURE of the brain’s executive function system#which is a VERY serious medical problem#the name ‘Attention Deficit Disorder’ really fails to sell how serious the disorder actually is via @thecuckoohaslanded

thecuckoohaslanded

god dammit my tags got cut off AGAIN I’m hitting the tag limit on like every post lately, I really need to work on that

Anyway I went on to say that there are 5 major executive functions of the human brain. These are the ‘higher functions’ that really distinguish between a human brain and that of any other animal. We have added intelligence on top of that, but these are the functional abilities our brains have that the rest of the animal kingdom does not have on a a structural level. There are 5 of them. ADHD affects all 5. And none of them are actually ‘attention’ (the closest function to anything that can reasonably be called ‘attention’ is what’s called Working Memory, which is your brain’s ability to hold a specific task in mind to come back to it; distractions are inevitable, but a healthy brain will hear a phone ring, look up, and remember to go back to what it was doing before. An ADHD brain will hear the phone riBANG ALL MEMORY OF THE CURRENT TASK IS GONE. ADHD brain looks up, sees the name on the caller id, oh it’s an unknown number, oh it’s probably some political pollster, oh man this year’s election is just awful I can’t believe people are supporting that angry cheeto. Oh cheetos I’m hungry I should go make a snack. What kind of snacks do we have? Did I remember to buy cereal at the store the other day? What about dog food? Oh my god I forgot to let the dog back in the house this is why I should have gotten a cat. Oh my friend sent me a great cat video earlier I should watch that. AND GUESS WHAT YOU NEVER GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING BECAUSE THE STRUCTURE IN YOUR BRAIN THAT SUPPORTS RETURNING TO A PARTIALLY COMPETED TASK DOES NOT EXIST THE WAY IT DOES FOR A NORMAL HEALTHY BRAIN. This is why even if you start a task well before a deadline you can’t keep to it until it’s been completed; the consequences of it being done MUST be more compelling than everything else in the immediate environment for the brain to see it.

No matter how much time you give yourself to complete the task, if you have ADHD it will take you 100% of that time, every time, which is why having ADHD actually TEACHES YOU to put things off, because it’s the only way to shorten the total time actually spent completing the task – the disorder rewards you for self-destructive behavior because it’s the only way you can get things done at all, and you end up living in a permanent state of extreme stress, hopping from one emergency deadline to the next even though you hate yourself for it every single time). The disorder has been horribly named in a way that trivializes just how serious and life-ruining it actually is.

ADHD is a very, very serious disorder and the pop psych/common understanding of it makes it seem HORRIBLY trivial compared to the real damage it actually does to people’s lives.

vastderp

i want to print this out and mail it to all the teachers who ever made me feel stupid before i dropped out

#wow #i relate extremely to this so i'm kinda???????????????#should i worry #adhd

punkpugs

If we’re friends, even if I haven’t talked to you in 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 months, maybe even a year or more, I still love you. My avoidance is not an indication of a lack of caring. In fact, oftentimes it’s exactly the opposite. This is just the reality of my disorder, and I’m sorry I can’t be there more. I really do love you. Please believe me.

#ME #i'm so sorry for being like this aaaaaaaa

leggyre

“Makoto’s hoodie has a logo of a red gas mask in a circle printed on the back of the hood, and the zipper goes all the way up to the top of the hood.”