BY THE SEA // suguru geto x f!reader x satoru gojo // ao3 link.
you, satoru and suguru have been taking care of megumi, tsumiki, nanako and mimiko for 3 years now. after a weekend away from them, you reflect on how everything started. and satoru suddenly thinks your little family needs a vacation.
pure fluff! just slightly suggestive, non-canon compliant, friends to lovers, idiots in love, mutual pining, suguru never defected, might be inconsistent with canon ages for the kids, satoru is a menace to megumi but we all know he loves him, megumi also calls you mommy and displays childish jealousy ~~
˚ˑ༄ؘ notes: this is honestly my favorite work i have done so far... i love these two idiots so much, this is how the story should've gone sorry i don't make the rules
word count: 11.7k (im sowwy ,,, i don't know how we got here ╥﹏╥)
Sometimes you wonder why you agreed to be a part of madness that is Geto/Gojo/you in a co-parenting throuple (you internally scream every time you remember how nonchalant Satoru was about that description. What? I think that’s kind of adorable. You and Suguru did not agree; somehow the name still stuck around). You would think that a pair of strongest sorcerers would be able to handle four first graders yet dozens of notifications that finally came through to your phone prove otherwise. Your left eye twitches.
[ groupchat notifications: co-parenting throuple ] ‘toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: girl dinner ! ‘toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: [picture] sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎: im sorry i wasn’t there to prevent the disaster sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎: shall i prepare the casket?
Messages are stamped two hours ago, and you’re too afraid to open the picture, dozens of different scenarios popping up in your head at the speed of light. When you finally unlock the messages, you think Suguru was considerate enough to even suggest a casket because once you’re done with Satoru Gojo, there will be no body to bury.
you: YOU FED THEM CAKE FOR DINNER ?? you: and why is it only you with the girls, where is megumi???? toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: it’s sunday! they deserve a little treat! sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎ responded: it’s a 12-inch cheesecake you responded: satoru, i know what you want to say, ZIP IT. YOU’RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE ALREADY. toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: and ‘gumi ate regular dinner like a child-man he is :< you responded: it’s called a man-child satoru… toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\ responded: no, megumi is a child-man because he has a soul of a man trapped in a body of a seven year old sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎ responded: so you’re calling him benjamin button? you responded: that’s why he doesn’t like either of you.
The frustration you felt towards Satoru mere two minutes ago dissipates and gives space to something much warmer; the feeling that was tugging at you the whole weekend as you travelled to Korea, sent away on a mission (you found yourself missing your little family more than you expected); the feeling that made you treat exorcising curses with utmost care because for the first time in a while, you want to come home safe. With a simple reminder of how lucky you’re to have Satoru and Suguru protecting the little piece of safe haven you carved out for yourselves; all the anger is gone as if it was never there in the first place.
You’re about to scroll through the earlier messages but flight attendant announces that the passengers are finally clear to get off the plane, so you shove the phone into your bag, grab your carry-on and hurry out. Security check is surprisingly fast, and you’re riding a taxi back home in no time. You send a quick message to the group chat that you’re on your way and close your eyes.
Quiet hum of the radio, steady movement of the car, and familiar surroundings immediately bring you peace – you’ve been feeling restless during your whole weekend trip, and now that you’re almost back with people you want to with be the most, you cannot help but smile. You’re being lulled to sleep by something pleasant playing in the car, and your thoughts drift back to the day you found that being teenage parents can come in different forms.
— / / / —
3 years ago
— / / / —
You sigh again as you look at your watch. 4:23pm, Satoru was supposed to be here 23 minutes ago. Not only that, but he’s been ignoring your calls, not responding to your messages and did not tell anyone where he’s suddenly gone off to. Suguru cannot be reached either, you know he has a mission today, so now you’re stranded in the middle of Shibuya, your least favorite place to be, alone. You think this is the day you finally stab Satoru Gojo because he has the absolute guts to beg you to come to this new dessert cafe that just opened and supposedly it was so good, you just have to try it knowing that you hate being in overcrowded spaces for to him to just ghost you.
Buzz of your phone brings you out of your thoughts.
[ incoming call: toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\ ]
“I swear to God, Satoru, you better have to save half the planet as an excuse or —”
“Where are you?”
“What? What do you mean where am I? In Shibuya, where we were supposed to meet almost 30 minutes ago!”
“We’re going back to the school now, come back as soon as you can.”
And then he hung up. You blankly stared at the screen of your phone like it would somehow explain what just happened. With a deep sigh, you put the phone away and massage your temples, feeling the headache coming. Satoru Gojo might be the one who’s getting migraines from having six eyes but he always makes sure you have one too, just for the company.
Ride back to the school is quick and easy – thankfully you’re in time to beat the rush hour, and now you’re standing in front of Tokyo High. Now that you’ve had time to calm your anger and frustration down, you realize that Gojo would’ve at least texted you if he was late. Something must’ve happened, and you feel panic start spreading its icy tentacles all over your senses. Picking up the pace, you almost run through the courtyard, pass the temple decorum and straight to doctor’s office – you assume he would be there if something happened.
You finally stand in front of the door: your breathing is heavy and you’re dizzy from how fast you sped up. The horrors of last year’s mission flash before your eyes, painting it blood, sorrow and anger, and you pray to every God known that it’s not a repeat of that failure. You almost lost Suguru to the darkness that preyed on him, stalking his shadows, seeping through his skin – you are still haunted by how hollow his eyes became, seeing him like this again will break you instead this time. You try to steady your breathing and knock.
“You can come in.”
Of course Satoru would know you were here. Pushing the door opened and walking into the room, you are met by two little girls sitting on each Suguru’s side on the hospital bed. Satoru is standing to the side and observing his best friend who is gently murmuring something to the twins. Both of them look unharmed which means Shoko already worked her magic if it was necessary. It seems none of you want to bring up the elephant in the room so you just take a sit in the chair next to the desk.
“What happened?” your voice sounds loud in the hushed murmurs bouncing off the wall, and all four pairs of eyes are directed at you. It seems you startled the girls as they grabbed onto Suguru’s sleeves – you cannot help but stretch your lips in a pretty smile, waving to them. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you tell them in a hushed tone this time, “would you tell me your names if I told you mine?”
Brunette twin shakes her head for the both of them, and you introduce yourself, same girl responding to your curiosity.
“I am Mimiko, and we never met our parents but I know I am older by 5 minutes. And this,” she points at the girl on the opposite side of Suguru, “is Nanako. She was always a little shy so I make sure I talk for the both of us!” Blonde girl curls a little more into your friend, and you finally make eye contact with him. You’re a little lost by what you see – hurt, anger, tenderness, confusion, he looks so defeated yet relieved at the same time. You’re turning to look at Satoru instead but he only shrugs his shoulders.
“Don’t look at me, he didn’t really share any details with me either.”
You hum in response and get up from the chair, walking to where the hospital bed is and squat to face them, extending your hand.
“Well, it’s really nice to meet you, Mimiko and Nanako,” and as you get a little closer to their face, you whisper as it’s meant to be a secret, “I think we’ll become really good friends.”
From what Satoru told you, it seems that him and Suguru haven’t had a chance to talk yet – girls looked very attached to dark-haired man already, it’s most likely they wouldn’t leave his side and whatever Gojo wanted to discuss was not meant for children’s ears. You’re too scared to overstep the friendship boundary you just started building with the girls but you know the look on your friends’ faces, and they tell you they need to have a serious and most likely unpleasant conversation (not too hard to guess what about). Standing up, you tentatively reach out your hands to Nanako and Mimiko.
“Have you ever tried crepes? There is a very good place that sells them nearby, what do you say if we go and grab some dessert, just us girls?”
You could see their eyes lit up as they looked back at Suguru as if looking for confirmation you’re safe to go with. He smiled at them (that smile that sometimes make your heart skip a beat and make you yearn for something you know you could never have), making wrinkles appear in the corner of his eyes turning into little crescents.
“She is my friend, you can go with her. I’ll meet you in a little bit,” and as he looked back at you, he mouthed quiet “thank you”. You only smile in return: Suguru never needs to thank you, not after the near escape to hell you guided him away from; not after the sleepless nights you spent keeping him a quiet company on the rooftops of Jujutsu Tech because silence was everything he needed in those moments; not after tight embrace you had to hold him in when you witnessed a sliver of panic attack creeping up on him when he least expected it. In the year that follow the disastrous Star Plasma Vessel mission, you were the light that guided Suguru back to himself, back to Satoru, back to you. Geto doesn’t need to say thank you, at least not to you, not anymore.
Grabbing two little girls by their hands, you lead them out of school.
“I promise you we will have the best time.”
— / / / —
present
— / / / —
The particular rough bump of the car brings you back to the present moment. You look at the time on your phone, display showing 11:23pm, and you smile looking at the picture on your lockscreen: it’s a picture of Satoru with Nanako and Mimiko, their mouths stuffed full of crepes.
After Suguru decided to take the girls in, you and Satoru made it a habit of coming over and helping him take care of them. Geto and Gojo used to be inseparable but the rift that broke in between them in the year that follow Amanai Riko’s death was a surprise. Being close to both strongest sorcerers, you knew why it was there, you knew the sheer trauma of it for both of them. So you stayed with Gojo when he needed you to keep reminding him that his shoulders do not have to carry the weight of the whole world, and you’re here to share it. And you stayed with Geto when he was plunged into the coldness of heart-wrenching guilt and needed you to pull him out from under the deep. After Suguru adopted Nanako and Mimiko, you were the bridge that crossed a seemingly bottomless crevice between the two of them.
Making Satoru see what he was missing with Suguru’s behavour at the time and asking Suguru to understand why Satoru was seemingly oblivious to it in the first place – the confusion, the pain, loss of the innocence, and everything unsaid that went on between them – was almost as difficult as being a sorcerer in the first place. By a miracle, you stopped being their overpass as they started rebuilding their bridges themselves. Yet, the connection you weaved with the sacred geometry of your hands between the three of you created a special bond that prevailed until this day.
Unlocking your phone, you scroll through the earlier messages in the chat: messages that kids already miss you (sent 30 minutes after your plane took off on Friday), stories about their successful Disneyworld trip on Saturday (traitors, you think, you’ve been begging them for a family outing their for months now), and cake baking adventures today (who internally dread the mess that will have to be cleaned up in the kitchen). Looking back at you from your home screen is the picture of Megumi and Tsumiki on their first day of school, proud Suguru holding both of them by their hands (Megumi refused to hold Satoru’s hands so he refused to be in the picture – sometimes you wonder who is the older out of the two). Warmth takes over your entire being once again, and you allow yourself a recollection of memories of how the last pieces of your family all came together.
— / / / —
2 years ago
— / / / —
“I am going to meet with that kid Fushiguro was talking about before he, you know,” and Satoru dramatically slashed his neck with his finger, poking his tongue out, imitating dead face. Nanako and Mimiko laughed from the opposite side of the table while you kicked him on the shin.
“Please, Satoru, I didn’t sign up to babysit three kids. Eat your breakfast, I need to get the girls to pre-school, we can talk about it once I’m back.”
“What if I drive you? And then we can go grab kikufuku from the new place that opened near Shinjuku station, I heard it’s really good.”
“Satoru, it’s 7am in the morning. Unlike you, I am a normal human being who cannot possibly consume that much sugar this early. And,” you lean in closer and whisper so the girls cannot hear, “please don’t say stuff like this in front of the twins, they will think it’s normal to be asking for dessert at this ungodly hour.”
Satoru thinks it’s adorable, how you huff and puff at the girls like a mother hen. Ever since the girls started living with Suguru, you made it your mission to come over at least once a week to make sure they have everything they need – and Nanako and Mimiko, as they once confessed to Geto, love your presence. After everything they’ve been through, the girls learned to recognize the intention behind people’s auras, and yours only gave them peace. And, unbeknownst to them at this tender age, they have craved peace for a very long time. So he bites his tongue and keeps the snarky remark he wanted to say, instead quietly whispering “sorry”, and you appreciate the gesture that may seem small to another, but speaks volume to yourself.
“Fine. We will be leaving in,” you look at the watch, squinting and thinking about how much time you have left, “30 minutes, make sure you’re ready or we’re leaving without you.”
You let the twins finish their breakfast and rush both of them to brush their teeth before you prep their outfits. Suguru was sent out on a mission for the whole week (you worry; Satoru tells you that with how much you worry about everyone and everything, you’ll be grayer than him in couple of years) and asked you to stay with the girls until he returns. You won’t lie – you’ve grown attached to them within the short amount of time you’ve been helping taking care of them so you agreed to babysit in a millisecond.
You didn’t expect that a third child will be living with you all this week too.
“Why don’t I get my outfit chosen for me?” you feel Satoru before you can even hear him, the never-ending reach of his Limitless tingling your senses, rushing the goosebumps up your spine (this is totally normal, right? Friends make other friends feel like this, right?). And you wish he would only be the omniscient presence that makes your knees weak because as soon as he opens his mouth, you want to roll your eyes and smack the back of his head. Instead, you learn to treat him as a child, if he wanted to behave like one.
“Because mommy is busy and you’re old enough to do it on your own.”
Satoru did not expect you to say that, sudden blush rushing to his face making his thoughts rush in a direction incredibly inappropriate for a friend. Great. You’re so gross, Satoru. He suddenly turned away and rushed away from the bedroom (if you had more time, you would’ve asked him what his deal was but alas, you were already running late). Then he proceeded to stay quiet the whole morning: while you were getting Nanako and Mimiko dressed, while he was driving all of you to school, while you waved goodbye to the girls and made your way back to the car. The phrase kept running through his mind the whole time until you cleared your throat and looked at him with your brow raised.
“What’s gotten into you? You’ve been suspiciously quiet the whole morning. Didn’t you want to talk about something?”
He forced all the wrong thoughts to stay hidden for now, patted them away like crows nibbling at the forbidden nerves of his sudden need. He cleared his throat and started driving away from the school, not knowing where he was taking the two of you yet.
“Uh, yeah. I was telling you that I am going to meet with the Fushiguro kid tomorrow.”
“Okay… and?”
“And what?”
“What are you going to do?”
Megumi Fushiguro was discussed among you before, but no concrete decision was ever reached. What if the kid doesn’t even want to go with him? He won’t be able to drag him by force unless he wants to be accused of child abduction.
“I don’t know. If he does want to come with me, I have the resources to keep him out of whatever deal his father cooked up for him with the Zen’in clan. But if he doesn’t… by the time he realizes what Zen’in clan is, and if he ever wants to leave, it’ll be too late,” Satoru clicks his tongue at the mention of one of the three big families. It’s no secret Gojo clan has not seen eye-to-eye with Zen’ins for a long time now but for Satoru, it’s personal.
“You know, if you decide to take him in, it’s not like one more child will really make a difference. You’ll just have to stop coming around and it’s like nothing changed,” the words come out of you with such levity, Satoru sometimes thinks you don’t even realize yourself that your presence alone can make a wilted flower spring back to life.
He can only laugh in response. You haven’t even met the kid and you already welcome him like it’s nothing to worry about. Gojo always wanted to compare you to the sun, the stars or any other celestial being that shines so brightly, they illuminate every shadow in their reach. But as the time passed, he realized that he didn’t want you to be a sun, or a star – then he will have to share your light with everyone else. No, you’re a flame in the home’s fireplace, warm and inviting to anyone who’s welcomed into your humble abode but lost to everyone else.
“You say that now. Let’s see what happens when I show up with two kids instead of one.”
— / / / —
present
— / / / —
That memory makes you chuckle. Sometimes you wonder if he knew Megumi had a sister because when he did show up with two kids instead of a promised one, you swore he looked as smug as ever.
As the time went on, spreading yourself thin between going to university (you said you wanted to finish your degree in case your career as a sorcerer doesn’t work out), helping out Geto and Gojo on their missions when they asked you, and helping take care of both Suguru’s girls and Fushiguro siblings was proving to be too much. So Satoru, for all his seemingly unlimited resources, decided that buying a house and living all together will be better. You knew that it was easier to move a mountain than change Gojo’s mind once it’s been set on something so you didn’t argue. To no one’s surprise, living together for all of you came as easy as breathing. Who said a family cannot be three barely functioning not-even-yet adults and their four adopted children?
The familiar silhouette of home comes into view, and you sigh with relief. When the cab stops, you pay the driver, grabbing your things and rushing to the front gate’s door. It’s the moments like this you envy Satoru’s teleportation ability though you will never admit it to him out loud, lest you inflate his ego even more. You’re barely able to step away from the gates when the front door to the house swings open and you see the person you were just thinking about poking his head out.
“Need a hand?”
Gojo is as cheerful as ever, and you cannot help but smile back, lips stretching in that tired way he finds almost domestic, and he feels something prick inside him. Not now. You want to say something back, but you’re interrupted by the sound of little footsteps running past Satoru, towards you.
“You’re back, you’re back!” Nanako and Mimiko are the first rushing to greet you, with Tsumiki hot on their tail. You see Megumi standing in the doorframe trying to pat away Satoru’s hand resting on top of his head as he comes out to greet you as well.
“Oh my god, ‘Toru, what are they still doing up, it’s past 12am!” you redirect your attention to the kids instead. “What are you little rascals still doing up, uh? Just because you don’t have school tomorrow doesn’t mean you don’t have a sleeping schedule anymore!”
“Gojo-san and Geto-san said we can stay up today!”
“3 years later and you’re still the only one they call by your first name,” you hear Suguru before you can see him: he is standing on the opposite side of Megumi, letting the kid hide behind his leg to get away from Gojo’s assault on his hair. You smile at them and decide there is no point of staying mad at them any longer.
The men help to bring you your bags inside, and you collapse on the couch as soon as you pass the threshold of your home.
“How was your trip?” Megumi asks as he slowly crawls to sit on your right side. Out of all the kids, Megumi was the hardest to read – for a child his age, he was overly perceptive and did feel almost like an adult at times. What did Satoru call him? A child-man, that’s right.
“It was good, ‘Gumi. ‘m just tired now. How was your weekend? I saw someone took you to Disneyland when I was asking for it the whole time,” you said, raising your voice at the later part of the sentence so it can reach Gojo and Geto’s ears from where they were in the kitchen. You could only hear a light chuckle back.
“It was so fun! Mimiko was scared of the ride we went on, but I was so brave!” Nanako’s eyes twinkled with so much joy, you really wish you witnessed the moment yourself. Satoru was right all those years ago, you were a mother hen back then, you’re a mother hen now.
“No, I wasn’t! Tsumiki was scared more!”
“Why are you lying? No, I wasn’t!”
“Ay, ay! I’m sure all of you were equally brave. Now, can you tell me why you stayed up this late?” you finally set everyone down, Satoru and Suguru joining you with freshly brewed tea, and think this is the most at peace you’ve ever felt.
“We were waiting for you…” Tsumiki shyly confesses on behalf of everyone.
“Oh,” you vision gets blurry and you feel pearly buds of tears pool in the corner of your eyes before quickly blinking them away.
“Ughhh, you cute little puppies, I just want to eat you up,” you say before anyone can question your tears and pull all of the kids into a bear hug. Time is late, however, so you make a quick work of tucking everyone into bed now that they’ve seen you. You say your goodnights and leave their rooms.
“Do we not get a hug now?” Satoru asks, wearing his signature smirk, and you want to clap back with a retort of your own, chastise them for letting the kids eat cake for dinner and stay up past midnight, or remind them that they are not seven years old anymore; but the car trip and the memories you revisited bring out something nostalgic in you making you slowly walk up to Satoru and hug him instead. He is taken aback at first but Gojo has always been good at recovering from momentary stupor so he’s pulling you back into a hug in no time.
“You two are rude,” comes from Suguru’s side and as soon as you’re untangling yourself from Gojo, you’re walking up to the raven-haired sorcerer to do the same.
“I missed you two idiots.”
“We missed you too.”
The silence stretches across the room but it’s comforting and inviting, like an old friend who hasn’t visited in a while, enveloping the three of you in its embrace. You look at the clock on the wall, showing you 1:05am, and suddenly your whole body feels heavy.
“Sorry guys, I think the trip is finally showing its signs… I am so tired, don’t even have energy to take a shower,” you say and groan in disgust. You hate going to bed without washing the grime of the day off your body but the fatigue is clinging onto your skin like humid air. “I’m going to bed now, see you guys tomorrow.”
“Good night.”
“Sleep well.”
And if you paid closer attention, you would’ve noticed the deep seated longing in the men’s gazes, the one that you sometimes have to hide from them too; you would’ve noticed how Suguru’s hand is following yours long after you’re out of their sight, and how Satoru’s tongue darted out to wet his lips when you were pressed against him, even if for a second; you would’ve noticed that the feelings you’ve been trying to push deep down for your two best friends are reflected all the same somewhere in the constellation of their eyes.
— / / / —
Next morning you wake up from someone laughing your name out and jumping on your bed. Sunlight is peaking through the curtains, making sun bunnies dance on the walls of your room and kiss your cheeks with orange glow. You try to open your eyes but your head feels heavy like you’ve just fallen asleep and you struggle to make out your surroundings – feeling disoriented first thing in the morning is definitely your least favorite thing. You groan softly and finally force yourself to lift your eyelids – as you do so, you’re met with two little girls using your bed as a make-shift trampoline.
“Wake up! Wake up! Gojo-san and Geto-san told us we will be leaving to go to the sea in an hour!” and as they swiftly left just as quickly as they had come in, leaving you to stare up at the ceiling in confusion.
“UH?”
Once the words really settled in, you’re getting up from the bed in record time and putting on the first clothes you lay your eyes on. You find the strongest duo already up and ready. All of the kids, worryingly, also look like they are ready to leave the house, and there are bags near the door with both Satoru and Suguru looking too smug not to be suspicious about it.
“What is going on here?” you ask from the doorway that connects the corridor leading to your rooms to the kitchen. “Why am I hearing that we’re going to the sea, and why are you dressed like this?”
“Well,” Satoru starts, “because we ARE going to the sea so we’re wearing appropriate clothing. You’re the only one who’s still not dressed.
You close your eyes and massage the bridge of your nose. Mentally you douse whatever feelings you were having for these idiots yesterday.
“Why am I hearing about this only now?”
“Surprise?..”
“I know it’s last minute, but Satoru made a promise to drive so you can relax in the car while we’re on the way there. Just get ready and we can leave right after,” Suguru says from his place on the couch, and you cannot help but sigh deeply and return to your room to shower and quickly pack.
When you’re out of earshot, Geto shoots Gojo a look.
“What are you planning, Satoru?”
“Why would I be planning anything? She’s been really stressed recently, and then the higher ups have the audacity to send her away for a whole weekend and give you a mission that took your whole Sunday at the same time she was sent away. I was overworked the week before that, sometimes it feels like they are doing this on purpose. So maybe we should all disappear for a couple of days with no way of contacting us, maybe they’ll stop pestering us like we’re the only sorcerers available.”
“Very mature of you, ‘Toru.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
The two of them finish packing the last of the food that Gojo bought in the morning while waiting for you. Reserving a spot this late in one of the most popular vacation spots in Japan was hard, but nothing is impossible when you’re Satoru Gojo.
You’re ready in record time, and the kids are all yelling and arguing about who is going to sit where. You need to intervene and say you will be sitting in the back of SUV with Nanako and Mimiko, while Mugumi and Tsumiki agreed to sit in the middle row; Suguru is riding shotgun and Satoru has agreed to be your driver for the ride. Unsurprisingly, not even an hour out of the city, the car is filled with snoring as the kids fell asleep shortly after you started driving. You feel yourself getting drowsy, closing your eyes and swearing you will only sleep for a moment. However, the next time you open them, you’re informed by Suguru that all of you are already halfway through the trip.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe I slept for that long,” you mumble through a voice heavy with drowsiness. “I think it’s best if we stop somewhere now, I’ll wake the kids up so they can eat quickly and use the washrooms. I suggest we all do it.”
“Yeah, I think it would be best, I don’t know if we will have the opportunity to stop any time soon,” Satoru agrees with you, and the drive continues for 20 more minutes until you’re stopping at the gas station. You gently wake the kids up and let them know that they need to have a snack and go to the restroom (time is 11:20am and they should be able to fall asleep again with no issues after that).
“How much longer do you think we have to drive?” you ask Satoru as he is refilling the gas tank. You’re watching Suguru watch the kids where they are running around nearby.
“Maybe 2.5-3 hours, depending on the traffic.”
“Did something happen during the weekend?”
“No, why would you ask?”
“Hm…” you quickly hum, “this is all too sudden for it to be spontaneous.”
“Oh, common, don’t be like that. I just think the little family of ours needs a little vacation, that is all.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, Gojo can feel the blush creeping up all the way to his ears and he clears his throat, walking away. You don’t know what makes you giggle more – the way he admits that whatever it is you have, he also sees it as a family, or the way the confession makes him feel embarrassed. You observe him preparing to get into the driver’s seat – sometimes you wonder what is happening in that handsome head of his. You glance at Suguru and wonder if he would have a better guess.
Gojo lets you know that you’re good to depart again. The second part of the trip is as chaotic as you would imagine it go and you give up on trying to make kids to go back to sleep. Instead, you’re breaking up the fights between almost everyone: Nanako and Mimiko argue about their friendship bracelets across from you; you keep having to remind Gojo that he is indeed an adult in this situation while he wants to continue arguing with Megumi; and Suguru somehow breaks the AC so the last 30 minutes of the drive everyone is suffering in silence.
Once you finally pull up to the little vacation house Gojo somehow procured at the last moment, you’re already feeling at your limit: you need the sun and to dive into warm water before you start losing your hair.
Geto helps you with the bags while Gojo unloads everything into the kitchen – you’re not sure how long you’re staying here for, the amount of food they brought will last you a nuclear winter. The children are excited about their rooms, and you must keep reminding them to be careful and to not run into any corners despite their enthusiasm. You help them unpack and choose outfits for the day – it’s been decided in the car that you will be going to the beach as soon as you’re settled.
Everyone is ready in half an hour – you helped the girls get into their swimming suits, while Megumi insisted he can do it himself (you suggested Geto or Gojo help him, but he closed the door in their faces and didn’t come out until he was done). Both men were already waiting by the door with the picnic bags and beach essentials – you had to admit they looked a little too good, making a knot twist in your stomach.
Satoru was dressed in a simple white button up that matched his hair and a pair of navy swim trunks. Maybe he was right, this trip was long overdue for all three of you, as Gojo looked more relaxed and at peace than you’ve seen him in a while. His lips were stretch into a lazy smile and his eyes, unobstructed by the glasses or a blindfold, had a glint of mischief that reminded you of a 16 year-old boy you met all those years ago. He tried his best to style his white unruly hair but the surrounding humidity only made it frizzier.
Gojo makes it seem almost effortless, with how good he looks, and maybe part of it is true – despite never admitting it out loud, you know he won the genetic lottery when it came to his appearance. But you also know that Satoru has an unrelenting skin care routine (because you buy your products together); that he asks what you think about his outfits even though you keep repeating you should be the last person he asks for fashion advice (don’t worry about it, princess, your opinion is the only one that matters anyways and you hate how your heart clenches at these words); and that he spends 45 minutes taking his showers. But what Gojo doesn’t know is that you adore him the most first thing in the morning – eyes so sleepy he can barely keep them open, voice gruff and low asking what’s for breakfast, wearing his sleeping gray sweatpants and nothing else. And he will never know lest you want to ruin everything you’ve worked so hard to build between the three of you.
You moved your eyes away from Gojo to where Suguru was leaning on the door. He was wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt with the three top buttons popped off, paired with simple black swimming shorts. His hair was put into a perfect manbun, however, unrelenting bangs always make themselves known untangling themselves from the rest of his locks. You noticed it back when you were teenagers and got used to carrying bobby pins for him – he somehow always leaves them at home (you will never admit but you love the fact that he always forgets them – it gives you another reason to run your fingers through his hair) – and this habit stayed with you all the way into adulthood. While Satoru was handsome in a regal way, Suguru was all sharp edges that made him look almost dangerous – pronounced jaw, pointy nose, almost cat-like eyes; the kind of beauty that always makes you weak in the knees.
“See something you like?” Satoru’s voice takes you out of your daydream and, shamefully, you realize you’ve been standing in the corridor doorway, gawking at them like it’s your first time seeing their faces. You only groan in response and roll your eyes, trying to hide the blush that adores your neck and flushes your cheeks red.
“If I saw something I like, I would’ve told you,” and you stick your tongue out. Liar.
“Are you feeling well? You look a little red, maybe you got a fever?” comes from Suguru’s side now as he tries to reach for your forehead but you swat his hand away.
“Ugh, I hate both of you.” Liar. They only laugh when you rushed past them, Megumi and Nanako on either side of you holding your hands while Tsumiki sits on Satoru’s shoulders and Mimiko takes her rightful place on Suguru’s back.
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
The way to the beach is short and sweet, your attention is fully dedicated to Megumi and Nanako as they re-tell you the stories from their weekend. ‘Gumi apparently won a plushy and gave it to Mimiko because she asked him to play in the first place, and Tsumiki, apparently, had the highest score in the game where you punch a bag to see how strong you are. Nanako says that helping Satoru bake the cheesecake on Sunday was her favorite part of the weekend, and you make a mental note to let her help you the next time you do it.
From behind you, Geto and Gojo observe your interactions with the kids, each of them in their own thoughts, yet both mulling over the same thing – you.
Neither of them thought you would become a constant in their lives when they decided to take in the kids – after all, none of you were in a relationship, despite their feelings for you, and you had no obligations to be giving them so much of your time. But as the time went on, all three of you fell into a comfortable routine that was both a blessing and a curse – they couldn’t confess that the boyish crush they had on you in your teenage years not only endured but blossomed into something so much more. That something kept growing inside their ribcages, weaving and building a home there, rooting itself so deep, they forgot what life was like before you offered them your light.
Satoru and Suguru only discussed this once between each other. The unspoken feelings they had not only for you but also for each other made already complex situation even more complicated. The fear of damaging the carefully built dynamic between the three of you was overwhelming, so overwhelming in fact, both agreed to never speak of this again. Pandora’s Box was sealed, and only you behold the power to open it. The strongest duo knows why this little box of wonders needs to be locked far away from them, however, it’s moments like this, when Megumi asks to be carried in your hands (even though he’s getting too big for that) while Nanako clenches your hand harder and you indulge both of them without a moment’s delay, that make them wish you knew: knew how much Suguru adores the little tilt to your head when you’re confused about something, knew how much Satoru loves smoothing out the wrinkles on your head when you’re deep in the thought, knew how both of them yearn for your laugh after a long day.
The cute white bikini you’re wearing is definitely not helping the ever-running thoughts two men are trying so hard to push down. It’s not the first time the absolute indecency of their desire is sparked by the slight bounce of your tits and the swing of your hips. Memories of countless times they had to take an extra shower in the morning because you would show up in the kitchen in one of their shirts, without a bra, nipples hard and visible through a thin fabric, should make them feel embarrassed, yet the shame never comes. When did the longing for you start feeling so right?
As the years progressed, this dance the three of you did around each other became familiar, and none of you dared to switch the melody.
Sometimes you wish you were brave enough to do it.
“Look, look, we’re finally here!” Mimiko yells from Suguru’s back and then instructs him to put her down. Tsumiki also climbs down Satoru’s shoulders and three girls run away towards the sea.
“Be careful! You still need to put your sunscreen, don’t run away too far!” You move your attention to the little boy you released from your hold as you entered the beach, ’Gumi, you’re not going with them?”
You wiggle his arm back and forth (his hand is so tight in yours, gripping now harder than before) but he refuses to look at you so you don’t push.
“Did you forget he doesn’t know how to swim?” Satoru says from behind you, and you shoot him a look. God, was he purposefully trying to rile Megumi? Fushiguro only digs his fingers further into your hand, and you honestly want to bite Satoru’s head off.
“That’s okay, baby, I’m sure your dad needed support of his whole clan when he was trying to learn how to swim.”
“He is not my dad.”
Your brain goes blank for a second, and you hope Satoru did not hear what you just said (he did; but he thinks he’ll spare you the further embarrassment; he also doesn’t want to admit that it makes his stomach turn in a way he wish it wouldn’t).
“You’re right, dummy like him could never be your dad.”
You find the spot not too far from where the girls are playing, and you help Geto and Gojo set up the blankets and umbrellas. While they are making sure none of it flies away with the first gust of the wind, you search for the sunscreen in your bag.
“Girls! Come here, we need to put sunscreen on you!”
You hear the tatter of 6 feet rushing towards you, trying to get first in line so they can all get back to playing in the water. You hand Satoru and Suguru two other tubes you brought.
“Help me to put this on them. I think if we don’t do it in the next minute, they will actually explode,” you say, smiling at how impatient Tsumiki is being in front of you as she keeps bouncing on her legs. Before you start on the sunscreen, you turn her so her back is facing you and let her hair out of the ponytail as you try to retie it. She winces a bit and lets out a small ouch.
“’M sorry baby, didn’t meant to hurt you, you okay?” you ask as you rub on the roots of her hair.
“Yeah, I’m okay!” she exclaims loudly, making you giggle. Once her bun is all set in place, you quickly put the sunscreen on her whole body, finishing with the face, and boop her nose. Tsumiki scrunches it in her adorable way, and you feel your heart swell with joy and love.
Once the girls run off, Suguru comes up to you with the tube of sunscreen in hands.
“Don’t you think you need a little help too?”
The smile adorning his face is so sweet, he doesn’t realize the summersaults it’s making your heart to do. And when you think about those hands on your shoulders, on your back, going lower where you want them most, you realize you actually might be burning up. But you can’t come up with an excuse fast enough not to let him do it so, without any words lest you’ll be embarrassing yourself, you just turn around and present him your back.
Geto start slowly with your shoulders, squeezing the tube and spreading the sunscreen on your soft skin. You swear you can hear him sharply inhale, and your heart involuntarily skips a beat. You let yourself wonder, just for a second, how these hands would feel on the parts of your body where you want them most, if Geto would be as gentle squeezing your breasts and tugging at your nipples. And when his hands start travelling lower, caressing the space between your shoulder blades and running his fingers down your spine, you wonder if his long digits would reach the spots inside your gummy walls that you’re unable to find yourself. You absolutely lose yourself to the indecent thoughts when he starts massaging the sunscreen into your lower back. That man, you think, if only he knew what he was doing. It takes all of your willpower to prevent yourself from moaning out loud, and not tremble at his mere touch. You want to lean back and tilt your head to the side so Geto can leave a trail of wet kisses on the side of your neck, following the curve of it to your jaw, and capture your lips in a way that only lovers can.
You can feel your skin grow hot and your white bikini better not show how embarrassingly wet you got from your best friend’s touch. You’re so sick, you think to yourself and before it becomes any worse, you’re untangling yourself from Suguru’s arms and call out for Megumi.
“I… uh… will go swim with him, don’t want him to get bored,” you breathlessly whisper as if too afraid to speak any louder, and call out to the boy.
“‘Gumi, common! Grab your floaties and we’ll go play a little further away from the girls,” you wait for him to grab his stuff, and you notice one of his rare smiles – he never hid the fact that you were his favorite out of three adults, and he always feels a little smug when your undivided attention is on him. Satoru shoots him a knowing look which Megumi successfully ignores, clinging to you.
You pass the girls as you show them the direction you’re taking Megumi in and they all say “Okay!” at the same time like it’s rehearsed. Mimiko, Nanako and Tsumiki are in a competition to see who can gather the most seashells and are left under the attentive gaze of Gojo and Geto. You help Megumi put his floaties on and gather him into your arms so you can walk a little deeper: once you’re satisfied with the distance, you try to let him go but he is attached to you like a baby koala.
“Common ‘Gumi, I promise I won’t let you go, okay? I’ll be right here in case you need help, and I’ll be also holding onto you the whole time.”
Fushiguro only violently shakes his head, not wanting to be in the water by himself. You wonder where this fear comes from, you think you’ll have to revisit it later. You don’t push any further, and coddle him closer, running a smoothing hand on his back while he puts his head on your shoulder. You squat a little to help him get adjusted to the temperature, and he shrieks from the sudden rush of water above his waist while hugging you tighter, almost choking you. Laughter bubbles in your throat but you don’t want to make Megumi feel worse that he already does so you try your best not to let it out.
“Hey, baby, it’s okay, right? I am holding you, yeah?” and as you say that, you try to push him away from you one more time, to let him experience the ocean by himself but he only tightens his hold as a sign he is not moving away. So you resign to gently swaying with him in the water, letting the salty waves wash around you. You can feel the sunlight dancing on your skin, warm breeze carrying all your worries away, if just for a moment, and you close your eyes allowing yourself to take all of it in. Megumi’s head is pleasantly heavy on your shoulder, and you walk little bit further away from the beach until you bump into someone.
“Oh, I am so sorry!” you instantly apologize and turn around. What you don’t expect is to be met with the pair of the most beautiful green eyes you see (your mind involuntarily goes to Gojo and how even these emerald eyes pale to comparison to the infinity carried by his gaze). You think if you heart didn’t belong to the two most annoying human beings you’ve ever had a pleasure of encountering, you would’ve fallen head over hills right here, right now.
“Please, no need to apologize.”
Surprise number two: this stranger is not only handsome, but also has a voice that makes you want to do whatever he asks you to, as long as he keeps talking to you. And again, you think how unfortunate of you to fall in love with two people you can’t have when men like this walk around available.
He smiles when his attention falls to Megumi, however, little boy is not happy at all. Who does this man thinks he is? Maybe Megumi didn’t want to learn how to swim, it doesn’t mean that he is willing to share you when he just got you away from two men on the beach (he is not old enough to rationalize that what he is feeling is jealousy; you never noticed but, Geto and Gojo excluded, he never liked how other men talk to you in the first place).
A handsome stranger doesn’t seem taken aback by the attitude from Megumi, and for a seven-year-old, your little boy has a mean death stare.
“He is very cute, what is his name?”
“He’s Megumi,” you give him your name as well and extend the arm for introduction. Before a man can even respond, Megumi is tugging your arm away and whines, speaking loud enough for Satoru and Suguru to hear, who, unbeknownst to you, have been watching the interaction this whole time (spoiler – they are not very happy about it but proud of the kid, truly an Oscar-worthy performance).
“Mommy, I want to learn how to swim now!”
You think you heard him wrong – he has never called you this before. If it happened any other time, you think you would’ve cried tears of happiness. Now it only makes you feel stupor. How does he even know to call you mommy in this situation? Megumi has always been the most well-behaved one out of all four kids, the disbelief at his attitude is written all over your face. What is he playing at?
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize he was your kid,” the man says but hurries to add, “I adore children though; I work at a pre-school. Hi Megumi, my name is Rei.”
The boy looks at the outstretched hand the man offered like it personally offended him. All of a sudden, he points to the beach where Satoru and Suguru seat and announces, yet again loud enough for them to hear.
“My daddies are just right there!”
What happened to “He’s not my dad?” you think in panic.
You’re not sure if Gojo and Geto can hear the full extent of conversation, but they wave back at you anyways. Rei moves his gaze from you to Megumi to two men on the beach, trying to decide if he should believe it or not. You, on the other hand, are speechless and currently wishing someone would be kind enough to curse you right now, or for the ground to split and swallow you whole with how hot and embarrassed you feel. Megumi is so grounded today. You can feel the inner temperature rise to the inappropriate levels, feeling like a kettle that is about to overheat – you don’t wait for Rei’s response while saying awkward “Bye, nice meeting you!” and rushing away.
“Welcome back, mommy,” Satoru teases when you settle back at your spot. Megumi is sitting on the opposite side of you, munching on the watermelon like he didn’t just make an absolute fool out of you in front of a random man. You try your best to ignore Satoru, but his comment only makes you groan, sound almost bordering a sob.
“Please, for the love of everything holy, don’t say another word. I bet It was you who put this idea into his head.”
“You know as well as we do that you can’t make Megumi do anything he doesn’t want to,” Gojo responds with the knowing smirk, and you only sink into yourself further. Your face is burning up, and now you think it’s not because Megumi’s whole afternoon mission was apparently to embarrass you in front of a stranger but because of what he said. The shock of the moment finally dissipating, instead giving the space to indescribable tenderness. You will have to cry about it later on your own so to save yourself further shame, you hide your face behind your hat and lay down, contemplating how this one simple word somehow turned all of your insides upside down.
What you fail to notice is the proud smile Satoru shoots to Megumi, mouthing “good job” and Suguru passing him his favorite candy knowing he’s not allowed to eat it before dinner.
— / / / —
You feel absolutely drained. After the incident with Megumi, you stayed in the same position until the kids started complaining that they were hungry. The sun is getting low, painting the skies ochre and pink, giving everyone its glowing kiss. You dare to peek at Satoru and Suguru, and they looked almost ethereal – sunshine dancing on Satoru’s white eyelashes as he dries Tsumiki with a towel and nodding enthusiastically at the collection of shells she is showing him, while Suguru tries to untie Nanako’s wet hair so he can wrap a towel around it. Mimiko slowly drags her legs towards you, poor girl absolutely exhausted, and as soon as you open your arms to embrace her with a towel of her own, she plops against you and almost momentarily falls asleep.
Suguru offers to carry her home, but you wave him off, asking to grab Megumi’s hand instead.
“I am not cooking once we get home, we better buy food now or we can drive into the city.”
“Ugh, I don’t think I have the strength to drive,” Satoru whines like he is the youngest out of the bunch. “Let’s just buy something here, it smells pretty good.”
Suguru only hums in agreement, listening to Nanako and Tsumiki argue about who got the most shells (both fail to count their shells correctly), and with that, your dinner plans are decided. Satoru orders your food from the stall nearby and pays for the dinner.
“What do we say when someone gets you food?”
“Thank you, Gojo-san!” three little voices echo each other, and you’re surprised even Megumi joined in. The way back home is quick as you’re standing in front of your door in no time.
“Oh my god, my legs are killing me,” you complain as you pass the threshold of the house. Mimiko has been sleeping in your arms the whole way back, and you don’t know if you should wake her up and ask her to eat, or if you should just let her sleep. You can still smell the ocean on her skin, and you decide it’s best for her hygiene and your peace of mind that she is clean before she goes to bed. With a heavy heart, you’re gently shaking her awake once you sit down on the couch.
“Hey sweetie, we’re home. Let’s eat, bathe and then I’ll put you back to bed, yeah?” her eyes are unfocused as she opens them, and she’s letting out a long yawn before slowly nodding her head and getting up.
“Okay, everyone, go wash your hands, dinner will be ready soon,” Suguru said from where he already stood in the kitchen, and all four pairs of legs excitedly hurry away.
“I hope the adventure today is enough to put them all to sleep right away,” you wistfully say.
“With their tummies full, I’m sure they will pass out in no time,” Suguru says back while Satoru circles around him to grab the plates from the overhead cupboards. You want to get up and help but looking at them like this, all domestic and familiar, this side of the strongest sorcerers only you get to see, makes you stall for a second to appreciate this moment for a little longer. The dull ache in your chest starts throbbing again as if someone’s picking at the rough edges that never seem to fully heal, and you wonder if you could have it all if you were a little more selfish? You shake your head banishing all unnecessary thoughts from your head.
The dinner is eaten quickly, everyone so hungry, you barely exchange any words. You can see the children are struggling to keep their eyes open, Tsumiki almost falling face first into the plate, so you make a quick work of their unfinished dinner and hurry them into a bathtub. Megumi insists he is old enough to take a bath separately from the girls so you ask either Satoru or Suguru to help him (Megumi makes it known who he prefers by grabbing Suguru’s hand and dragging him to the second bathroom). Bath time is also surprisingly quiet, low energy in the room being an indicator of just how exhausted everyone is.
With the kids finally tucked into bed (Megumi apologized for misbehaving, and you think about how far you’ve come with the boy who wouldn’t utter a full sentence to you for the first 6 months), you grab the beer from the fridge and make your way onto the patio where Satoru and Suguru are already engaged in conversation.
They turn their heads toward you once you step outside and offer you the space in between them which you gladly take. You can see Suguru is nursing his own beer, while Satoru opted out for a bottle of virgin mojito.
“Did neither of you really ask Megumi to call me “mommy” today?” you wonder out loud as you’re looking out into the horizon, where the last rays of sun melt into the ocean, clearing the canvas for the stars to spark to life.
“Nah, you know how stubborn that kid is,” Satoru drawls as he takes another sip of the drink; you scrunch your nose just imagining how sweet that concoction is but smile, nonetheless. “Plus, it was nice being called a dad.”
Both you and Suguru turn to look at him, but he stubbornly keeps staring forward. You snort, seeing Geto’s smile in your peripheral vision, but there is no malice behind your action. Both you and Suguru always knew that Gojo cared in the same capacity as the two of you for the kids, he was just a little more stubborn about admitting it. You can see it in the way he handles them after they wake up from nightmares (because he knows the same thing haunts him), how he packs them lunches to school when neither you or Suguru are able to do it (I know I am not as great of a cook as those two but it’s better than buying stuff from the store), how he allows them to have sweets from his secret stash when everyone else (even you and Geto) are not permitted to even think about it. The two of you always knew how much he cared – Satoru just needed a little push to say it out loud.
You’re about to say something witty but Suguru speaks up first.
“Would you have continued flirting to that man if it wasn’t for Megumi?”
“Flirting? I wasn’t flirting with him!”
“Whatever, talking,” Geto waves a hand at you like it’s all unimportant details. “Would you?”
The air suddenly feels charged with electricity, years of longing and yearning threaten to rip everything at the seams. You tried so hard to move past them, move past your silly little crush, but you never did. Not that dating other people was an option for you anyways – you are sure anyone, upon hearing that you take care of four small children at only age 21, will run away in the opposite direction. It’s a good thing it didn’t matter to you either way – the kids became an integral part of your life, and you would not give them up for anything. But sometimes, just sometimes, when the loneliness creeps into the parts of your bones that have no space for it, when the heart becomes a little too big for your own ribcage trying to escape through rushed beats, when you tremble from how longing encompasses your whole being, you wonder how it would feel if romantic love was made for you too.
You tilt your head to look at Suguru, trying to find something in his face. He doesn’t know why he asked that question – maybe it’s the sun rush of the day, the good mood he’s been in recently or how that man looked at your body from where he could see the interaction earlier today – but it felt right. And he knows he’s being selfish without discussing it with Satoru beforehand, but he’s so tired of hiding, so tired of pretending like he doesn’t dream of waking up next to your warm bodies, so tired of thinking about what ifs and could haves, asking that question felt right.
“No, I don’t think I would’ve returned his sentiment,” you simply state and hope that they would leave it at that. You know they never do.
“Why?” it’s Satoru’s turn to ask questions, and he looks at you in a way that makes your pulse pick up its pace.
“Because…” you don’t know what you’re supposed to say. Because you’re in love with your best friends? Always have been since you were 16 years old? You’ve been carrying the weight of unrequited love for so long now, you think you’re afraid what will happen to the space it occupies if you confess. You hope you know them enough to realize will not make fun of you for your confession, at most making lighthearted jokes about how they always knew you were not immune to their charms, but your palms are getting sweaty just anticipating their reaction.
“Because?” Satoru nudges you again, and you dare to steal a glance into his baby blues. Satoru’s eyes have been compared to the most prized sapphires, an ocean that will never be fully explored, the skies that are bigger than life itself – all the metaphors that describe him to the outside world perfectly. However for you, his eyes are the color of blueberries that he painstakingly picks out of Tsumiki’s desserts and gives to Megumi; they are the color of his favorite shirt that is more gray now than blue with how much he washed it but refuses to throw away; it’s the blue ribbons he picked out for Nanako’s and Mimiko’s hair for their first day of school. You look into his eyes and see a sparkle of something familiar, something you’ve seen in your eyes times and times before, staring back from the reflection in the mirror.
Unexpectedly, you feel dizzy and don’t know if it’s the summer breeze that makes your head feel heavy, the alcohol swimming in your veins, or the present company, but you’re brought back to when you were all 16 and innocent, to the moment before the steady ground was violently ripped from right underneath your feet. You think about Amanai and that she still loved and cared despite knowing how all of it would end for her. You think about Haibara, and how he was full of promise and life and so, so much love, you almost feel sick again.
You’re quiet as you contemplate, and the men don’t interrupt your train of thoughts. Memories flash before your eyes like snapshots of old cameras. They wonder where you have gone off to.
But then you think about how it ended, for both of them, in blood and violence and guilt, their life threads cut short before either of them knew what life even is. They didn’t get enough time to figure it all out: have they loved anyone the way you love Satoru and Suguru? Would have they have had time to figure it out if it was a fair world?
You can feel your best friends’ body heat wrap around you, encapsulating you in their scent and presence, and you think you’d like to stay like this forever. You think about everyone who didn’t get to spend another hour with someone they love, and you realize you’d regret it your whole life if something happens and they didn’t know how they make you feel. And something can happen so quickly. You steady your hands and take a deep breath, reading yourself. Now or never.
“Because I am in love with you two, and I have been since we were 16.”
You close your eyes, waiting for the laugh to come, for them to say oh, you little silly girl, to chastise you for falling for the only two people that will never be yours. You wait and wait but nothing comes. Instead, you feel someone’s knuckles brushing lightly against yours and gasp, opening your eyes. What you didn’t expect to see is your two best friends looking at you as if they are seeing you for the first time, their lips stretch in smiles so wide, it looks like it’s supposed to hurt. And eyes, their eyes, say so much without them needing to say anything at all.
“So… what you’re saying is that we’ve been blue balling each other since we were 16?”
“Ohmygodsatorupleasestop,” you say it so fast, you’re sure they didn’t understand what you said. Gojo might be a little crude but the meaning behind his childish metaphor is not lost on you – three of you have been oblivious of each other’s feelings for five years now, and a pang of regret shoots through you. How different would everything be if you were brave enough to confess all those years ago?
“Have both of you really known since you were 16?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
Both of them say it with such conviction, you feel yourself get lightheaded. You don’t want to cry but tears are pooling in your eyes involuntarily, and you sniff a little into Satoru’s shoulder.
“Aw, why are you crying? I thought we all finally agreed to be happy,” Suguru coos at you from the side. The warmth of your hand in his still feels unreal – like it’s someone else’s arm attached to him, and he just watches as a passer-by. He brushes your knuckles with the pads of his fingers and it feels right, how your digits perfectly intervene with his and how your head fits just right into the crook of Satoru’s neck, and how your lips look so perfectly kissable and shiny right now. But he doesn’t want to rush the fragility of the moment, so he only squeezes your hand tighter.
“Because we could’ve had this all this time… if we were just a little braver.”
“Don’t you think we are already brave enough, all the time?” Satoru asks this time. “Maybe it’s okay for us to be a little cowardly, even if it’s not entirely good for us. We have a next memory to look forward to anyways.” Gojo lifts your head and looks into your teary eyes – you’re so beautiful, it almost hurts. He let his dreams to be full of you and your lips and your touch, that it takes everything in him not to cross the distance in a searing kiss. But he knows it’s not the right moment, so he just swipes your tears away and kisses you on the forehead. Behind you, you can feel Suguru’s lips gently touch your exposed shoulder.
And just like that, all worries dissipate like sand through the cracks between fingers. What is the point of worrying about the past when you have future full of love in front of you? You don’t know what tomorrow holds for three of you with your souls now bare for each other, but you have the time to discover it together. For now, you’re content with this moment, salty ocean breeze dancing on your skin, the warmth of Suguru’s palm in yours and Satoru’s shoulder lulling you to sleep, and you think that maybe you’ve always meant to end up here, between them.
© getoluver do not steal, plagiarize or translate my works. do not recommend me on tiktok, thank you
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