[zaddylonglegs]

It's so cold outside that I was squeezing my butt cheeks together without realizing it.

[zaddylonglegs]

My mom always took me to the movie theater with her when I was a kid, but I was like 8 years old watching Hollow Man and Gladiator.

[zaddylonglegs]

Just watched The Sixth Sense again after not seeing it since I was a kid

[zaddylonglegs]

A new Beyoncé album and a Sims 4 expansion pack in the same week was just excellent

[zaddylonglegs]

The dispensary near me has mini joints called swift lifts and those mfs are effective

[zaddylonglegs]

I love working remotely. I took two shits on company time.

[only-tiktoks]

[swan2swan]

Millions of Years of Immutable Evolutionary Law: “Cats shall have litters of many offspring at one time. Some will be weak or stricken with disease--they will perish to allow the stronger siblings to escape, and to satiate other predators in order to reduce competition and encourage the existence of more capable adults.”

Human Beings:

[zaddylonglegs]

My edible kicked in before I could finish my work

[skovenshemmeligheder]

Me bout to go safety always off on these goofy ass cunts

[exdestinyschildmember]

This is legit how the world sees the US

[zaddylonglegs]

I took my time and made the most beautiful turkey stock, but now I gotta clean the kitchen

[itsgiving]

[zaddylonglegs]

My family so gotdamn country. We eating rutabagas and ham hocks for dinner.

[o-kurwa]

[zaddylonglegs]

[jumex]

[thahalfrican]

[romansroys]

put this in the MoMA

[staceyshere]

April Ryan looking around always makes me cackle 😭😭😭😭

[zaddylonglegs]

Went to drink my wine too aggressively and it spilled down my shirt