I don’t understand why High School Musical 4 is going to get an entire new cast when all they had to do was set it at Chad and Ryan’s wedding
Sharpay - mellowed out some with age, still struggling to make it big, chronically single - insists she’s happy for Ryan but quickly devolves into her obligatory show-stopper about how she’s sick of waiting to meet someone who’s right for her. (Mostly the song entails Sharpay singing her ridiculously long laundry list of requirements while trying on bedazzled wedding dresses.)
There’s a running gag that Troy is supersupersuper late for the wedding. We may or may not ever actually see him, since Zac Efron didn’t even come to the damn ten year reunion and is apparently a huge party pooper. What we do see is Gabriella on the phone with him every fifteen minutes or so, urging him to hurry up. Eventually she decides that he’s obviously stuck in traffic because he doesn’t care about their friends enough and wonders if she should break up with him. Cue the obligatory once-a-movie Gabriella Is Sad song.
Taylor and Chad are SUPER amicable exes and she’s organizing the entire wedding with an iron fist. Chad and Ryan didn’t have to do anything. Kelsey is on piano. Zeke is baking their cake, obvs.
Troy is SUPPOSED TO BE Chad’s best man, but again, he’s supersupersuper late. At one point while Gabriella’s on the phone with him, Chad runs up behind her and yells “DUDE. GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME” into the phone.
Sharpay elbows someone in the face to catch the bouquet when it gets thrown. Like, violently. It’s played for laughs, of course, but we all know that Kelsey/Jason/whoever should probably be in the hospital.
Assuming they can lock down Zefron, the movie will inevitably end up being about them. Troy proposed during the damn reception. Gabriella cries. Taylor and Kelsey are screaming. Sharpay is immediately trying to become Gabriella’s best friend and call dibs on being her maid of honor. Ryan looks affronted at this hijacking but nobody notices.
tHE FUCKING WEDDING COLORS ARE WHITE AND RED JUST SO CHAD CAN SCREAM “WILDCATS” AS SOON AS HE’S DONE BEING PRONOUNCED RYAN’S LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND
Sharpay and Zeke reconnect after that moment at the of HSM1 where they were a thing for like 10 seconds. Sharpay Learns a Valuable Lesson about how maybe you don’t need a guy who’s perfectly perfect in every way when you’ve got once who’s a total sweetheart and can bake like a mofo.
Ryan brings some girl he knows from Broadway who’s like his best dancer or something. She spends the entire wedding flirting with Kelsey and making her all flustered. Everyone is trying to get them together.
It ends with an elaborate musical number at the reception. Possibly there’s a self-aware joke about how Ryan emailed everyone the choreography for it months ago, so they all better know it by now. It probably turns into a reprise of We’re All In This Together and then I cry into my popcorn for 6 hours
~the end~
HOW DOES THIS HAVE SO MANY NOTES ARE Y'ALL SERIOUS
