sometimes people get kinda envious of the support i have cause their experience is the "not sick enough to get support" and i just wish they knew the amount of groveling i've had to do for the past 12 years of my life to finally get some freedom and stability.
it doesnt just get better once you're "sick enough" for support/resources to be available to you. you literally have to claw your way through abusive/neglectful professionals, bureaucratic nonsense, the whole of society pretty much discarding you for not being valuable enough, etc. etc. ...all while have profoundly less capability to fight as you did before.
some people can't fight at all. i'm lucky to have kept my wits enough to be able to. but those who can't fight, die. they just die. they end up homeless and they die. they end up in nursing homes, get neglected, and die. they commit suicide. they're murdered by their abusers. they die from medical complications because they cant access treatment.
having a more severe disability doesn't make your life easier. at the end of the day whether you live or die as a profoundly disabled person really just comes down to whether you/someone else can put up a fight, and you win that fight before you die.
and this isn't to say like having to push through and work/go to school/function at the expense of your health isn't bad. it is. it's awful. it's demeaning. it's soul-sucking. it makes it more and more likely that your problems *do* get more severe. no one deserves that. it's a special kind of hell in its own right, and does put you at risk of death & further suffering as well.
but please be more mindful of anyone in your life who does seem to be that hypothetical disabled person in your head who's "sick enough" and thus gets treated "better" than you. they don't. we all get kicked. we all get hurt. we all get left to fend for ourselves. the how it happens & how it ends is just different depending on who & where you are.
