the stars are the same as ever

i have crossed the face of the universe, i poison it to match my grief 27 - she/her - nonbinary butch lesbian 🏳️‍⚧️

[thisaintasceneitsfob]

[autogynophelia]

Something that happens a lot in non-binary spaces is that a new member of the community will ask a tone-deaf transphobic question like "Hi, AFAB here, I was wondering if any other AFAB NBs had advice about swimsuits? My AFAB chest means I can't wear swimsuits for AMABs," and an established community member will have to gently explain that not only are we are a community of people who often change their bodies to a degree that certificated sex becomes a useless way to describe anatomy, but we are also a community of people who often join the community explicitly to get away from our birth sex assignment, and so referring to people that way can be really offensive.

And no matter how gently this is pointed out, the newbie will often initially feel instinctively defensive towards what they perceive as scolding. Which means that when another community member comes along and says "Don't worry about the language police 🙄, many of us think AGAB language is fine, it's a useful way to refer to the kind of formative experiences you had as a child," the newbie will latch on to them like a life raft.

And yes, we live in a transphobic society, a lot of people coming into the trans community will have uninterrogated transphobic views, but that just makes them more vulnerable when there is always someone in the community willing to tell them "no, your transphobic views are fine actually, and in fact here are some more you might not have thought of!"

It means a sizeable chunk of newly-out NBs are swiftly radicalised into increasingly extreme transphobia and transmisogyny simply as a defense mechanism against having their own comments criticised. One day they're just happy to join a community where people supposedly don't judge you on your birth sex, and the next they're talking about the importance of "AGAB socialisation".

It's a really big problem and I don't know what we can do about it.

[sheepshot]

[poltergeistguy]

in light of recent news

[wifegideonnav]

just saw someone say “differently housed” instead of homeless genuinely what are we doing here. imagine if liberals put all the energy they reserve for inventing useless euphemisms into actually making the world a better place.

[unadulteratedhideouttrash]

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

[miistsoul]

[cerastes]

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

[mortalityplays]

there is no single argument against including trans women in sports that doesn't boil down to "women aren't supposed to be good at this" and it's fucking insane to me that every woman in the world isn't up in arms about the way this issue has laid institutional misogyny bare to the bone

[mortalityplays]

then again it has also revealed how many misogynistic cis women believe in their own exceptionalism to the point they feel they benefit from "women aren't supposed to be good at this" and will use every tool in the white imperial torture kit to ensure the acceptable categories of 'woman' and 'good' remain shallow and narrow enough for them to force themselves into a position of supremacy.

[mousepal]

This websites like We gotta destroy capitalism We gotta end racism We gotta create Community. And then want to kill you for being loud outside.

[hagiomoto]

This website is a suburb

[dogpuppy]

[vampirefabio]

can’t believe they murdered lindsey graham to get the heat off of totally still alive mitch mcconnell.

[tam--lin]

I don't want to put the user on blast but I just saw a "you're never too old to start" post about the Artemis II astronauts, and, respectfully, they are astronauts on our first trip back to the moon since Apollo because their entire lives have been building up to it. Christina, the youngest on the crew, wanted to be an astronaut since childhood, has two bachelor's degrees, and has been involved with NASA since 2001, well before she joined as an astronaut. Jeremy joined the Canadian equivalent to Civil Air Patrol at 12 and did his undergrad in space science. Reid started out as a Navy pilot in the late 1990s. Victor went to a public Ivy, has three master's degrees, and became a Navy test pilot 20 years ago. These people's whole lives have been building up to this.

We are not yet at the point in human space travel where you can just up and career change to being a working astronaut* unless you already are very well-established in a closely relevant career (like medicine), or you're part of a specialty program training mission specialists (like Christa McAuliffe was).

*as opposed to a space tourist

[tam--lin]

Perhaps a better message, if we insist on mining on here, is, "it's normal for people who are experts in their fields to be middle-aged, actually"

[wafflewarrior111]

So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.

I'm going to try it.

[missroserose]

I love the lawyer metaphor, because whenever I see “John knew that...” in prose writing I immediately think “how?  How does he know it?”  Interrogate your witnesses.  Cross-examine them.  Make them explain their reasoning.  It pays dividends.

[heck-in-a-handbasket]

All of this, but also feels/felt. My editor has forbidden me from using those and it’s forced me to stretch my skills.

[ineedthesons]

This is your "show not tell" advice explained!

[tarysande]

Editor here.

First, let me preface this with something very important: you can treat all of this advice as SECOND-DRAFT ADVICE. It is so much easier to rewrite this kind of stuff once you have words on the page. Telling yourself the first draft is totally appropriate and acceptable.

What we’re talking about here are FILTER WORDS (and to some degree verbs of being). Yes, “thought” words are included. But so are “heard, saw, looked, tasted, smelled” etc.—most words having to do with the senses.

This isn’t black and white advice; sometimes you’ll use these words and that’s okay. They’re not WRONG. They’re just weaker. And they’re weaker because they create distance between the reader and the experience of the character.*

If you want your reader to feel like they’re experiencing the story right alongside the character, you want to cut down on filter words.

*This is particularly important with first person and close third POVs. The reader always knows whose eyes they’re seeing through and thoughts they’re privy to. So you don’t need to tell them “I saw X.” Or “I heard X.” Or “I thought Y.” You can just jump into the action/observation as it’s happening.

This is also where you want to pay attention to verbs of being.

“It was rainy.” Versus: “The rain pounded against the roof.” Or “The rain howled like an injured animal.” Or “The rain tapped against the window like an anxious lover.” All of these are inviting the reader deeper into the experience of the story by using stronger verbs and similes. And, at the same time, they stir feelings (instead of TELLING feelings). And feelings keep your reader engaged. Engaged readers keep turning pages; engaged readers become FANS.

[the-haiku-bot]

This is also where

you want to pay attention

to verbs of being.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[defilerwyrm]

The most valuable advice that Author Ex gave me through the years that we wrote together was this: the problem with all these filter words is that they create distance in the POV.

That means that when you read a line like

John saw that the curtains were open.

It immediately takes you OUT of the character's perspective and instead tells you what they experience as a secondhand observation.

You don't have to get fancy or purple with how you rephrase things like this. Not everything needs a ton of breathing room.

You wanna know what's perfectly impactful while keeping a tight POV?

The curtains were open.

Simple as that.

[songlin]

This was one of my all time most powerful writing lessons! This mindset shift makes you a stronger writer immediately in a way that just keeps getting easier and better for you.

[nepenthean-sleep]

france, spain, and england? my god this is really the colonizer cup

[romanceyourdemons]

horror concept: you are a woman and you are getting married