Steven laid back onto his bed. His body felt exhausted. His head was killing him. He knew he couldn't slow down or stop for even a day or everything he's worked so hard for would be over. He felt gross, had he showered since coming back? He didn't smell like it so most likely no.
Staring at his dark ceiling he muscled up the energy to get up once again and head to the bathroom. He stared into the bathroom mirror, the bags heavy under his eyes, the pink of his hair spreading from the tips of his hair with some sprinkled about. His toothbrush hadn't been used in some time, hadn't been on planet much. The mirror was still sparkling clean, no watermarks or finger prints. Steven sighed moving over to turn on the shower and watched while untying his hair as the mirror fogged, giving the que to get undressed.
The warm water was comforting, homeworld was always so stagnant, never too hot never too cold but never good. The falling of the rushing water reminded him of the rain, he missed being able to always look out his window and see an array of weather outside instead of the emptiness of space. As the water continued to flow and drench his long flowing curls with water he stood there, basking in the comforting warmth of the water. When was the last time he was able to really be in the presence of another person? Connie perhaps, but not for very long, not as close as he needed to be. When would this be over, would it ever be over? He sat down in the tub. "I don't know how much longer I can do this, they don't listen to me. I want to understand them, I want to give them my respect and consideration, but they don't care about me they don't listen to me. They don't care as much as I do, I know how important Pink was to them and they let her rot in that tower. Do they even know how to care this much for something, how much I care for my family for the Earth for gems. I haven't even had a real conversation with White, I'm stuck with Yellow and Blue and their Pearls and they don't care about any of it. They're just like mom, they think they can just walk away from what they've done to gems, to mom, to me. I think they've made progress, but can they really? How long am I going to have to do this until they understand, do I even have it in me to do it? I don't want to do this, I'm tired. What happened to me. I- ". He began feeling a warmth drip down his face. He'd been too tired, too drained to cry so- It was the shower, the water felt wonderful. He'd wanted to cry for so long, but he'd been constantly watched by the gems, yellow, blue, white, Connie. He couldn't let any of them see him like that, but now it felt amazing. He could feel as awful as he wanted and no one could judge or worry about him, he could feel the sensation of tears flowing down his cheeks without being red, runny, and puffy like a child. He was already exhausted as is, he wouldn't have the energy to cry his eyes out anyways. This was nice. Like drowning in his own space or sorrow. Safe and alone.
