â i have the best weekend ever planned, man. â
â when are you gonna do some, like, real acting ? â
â can we please go to fucking carls junior ? â
â i canât really eat that stuff right now, iâm on a cleanse. â
â so youâre not drinking, youâre not smoking weed⊠â
â no, no, iâm drinking, iâm smoking weed. â
â if you stopped eating gluten, youâd feel way fucking better. â
â whenever you feel shitty ? thatâs âcause of gluten. â
â who the fuck told you not to eat gluten ? â
â you donât even know what gluten is ! â
â itâs something thatâs used to categorize things that are bad ! â
â calories ! thatâs a gluten. fat ! thatâs a gluten. â
â so this is how the other half lives. â
â itâs all of your favorite things ! â
â it says [name] in joints. â
â you are just⊠the best people. â
â it eases the transition⊠the much needed foreplay. â
â iâm a well-known homosexual advocate. â
â i havenât seen it yet, but iâve heard itâs supposed to be bonkers. â
â weâll chill together and weâll chill with these other guys ! weâll all chill as one big unit. â
â you know what ? [name]âs an inspiration. â
â for you, i will go. â
â i wanna be with you all night. â
â this is the sexiest street in america. â
â this place is like a piece of me. you just stepped inside of me. â
â guess what buddy, you like art ! â
â look at him, heâs like.. a hipster, right ? â
â you seem to hate a lot of things, and the bottom of your pants are awful tight. â
â you hate movies that are universally loved. â
â nobodyâs that nice. serial killers are that nice. â
â why the fuck do you think i put up the sign ? â
â somebody took my fucking cellphone ! â
â itâs unbelievable, itâs unacceptable ! â
â oh shit, thatâs embarrassing. â
â can you lower your voice ? youâre freaking out [name]. â
â maybe iâm the one whose freaked out ! â
â heâs not as strong as you. â
â we are all soft ! we pretend to be hard, but weâre soft as baby shit ! â
â thereâs racoons and bandits and shit out there ! â
â the good guys are here ! â
â weâre fine ! itâs gonna be fine ! â
â i went out this morning and specifically bought this milky way. â
â iâm not sporting a crop top in your house. â
â you couldnât handle my midriff. â
â iâm gonna sleep with you. â
â iâm gonna sleep with you, itâs too scary to sleep alone. â
â maybe this horrible, horrible, deadly earthquake happened to make us closer as friends. â
â not terminator two, for god sakes. â
â you wanna spoon ? â
â goodnight my sweet guys. â
â he didnât suck any dick last night. â
â now i KNOW yâall are trippinâ. â
â hereâs my vote; fuck all of you. â
â this is real, this is fucking real ! â
â iâve been feeling really weird about him lately. â
â i know that dude ! â
â iâm straight up lovable, son. â
â youâre just as shitty as the rest of us. â
â hey, whatâs cheese without a few crackers, you know what iâm sayinâ ? â
â weed is for the people ! itâs the peopleâs weed ! â
â b-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f forever ! â
â youâre british, right ? youâre used to eating shitty food ? â
â donât talk about [name] like that. â
â thatâs fucked up, man, iâm right here. â
â sheâs like a little sister. â
â what kinda vibes are you talking about ? â
â chill the fuck out, man, puttinâ that shit in the mix ! â
â the one who denies it, supplies it ! â
â itâs me, americaâs sweetheart ! â
â itâs smoky as fuck out here. â
â somebody, throw me a knife. â
â o-m-g, [name], iâm so sorry. â
â you saw something out there, didnât you ? â
â this is the real shit, right now, happeninâ. â
â do shit unto people that would do the same shit to you. â
â weâre gonna do it together. â
â who has goddamn porno mags anymore ? â
â donât walk away. â
â itâs too late, iâve already walked away too much. â
â remember when i got you that twenty dollar taco bell gift certificate, and i bet that you couldnât eat that much taco bell ? â
â i broke my ass ! â
â this is terrence peterson, my monkey flashlight keychain. â
â i needed to wash down that dry ass cinnamon toast crunch. â
â youâre making me into a joke right now and you are not gonna like the fucking punchline. â
â god fucking dammit, iâm gonna kill this motherfucker ! â
â thatâs what i thought, nerd. â
â that fucker has got to go. â
â i party so fuckinâ hard. always have. ever since i was a baby. â
â you didnât have my back back there ! you fuckinâ disappoint me. â
â that self-righteous, cocksucking, two-faced backstabber. â
â youâre twisting that shit around. â
â textbook twattage. â
â his insides are worse than my outsides. â
â whatâs up, what were you thinking that day ? â
â just kill [name], that would be so tight. â
â so something⊠uh, not that chill, happened last night. â
â just⊠bad sleep, crazy dream. â
â uhh, lemme break it down for you; iâm not fucking going. â
â what do you think this is, scooby doo ? â
â this shitâs cray-cray, guys. â
â acting like itâs hot when itâs cold. sitting on the beach, itâs freezing, youâre in your draws, talkinâ about how everybodyâs surfing. â
â they didnât make a mistake. â
â thereâs a reason weâre all here. â
â i gouged a manâs eyeballs out. â
â god did this. â
â the power of christ is compelling me ? thatâs whatâs happening ? â
â youâre gonna repeat lines from the exorcist ? â
â well, i assume they did their fuckinâ research. â
â weâve got an exorcism to finish, hello ! â
â i would have sucked a dick for half a cracker ! â
â i run over there, screaming and shit. â
â holy shit, do you know what this means ?! â
â if weâre actually nice to each other, we can get sucked up into heaven. â
â i made him my bitch ! â
â weâre friends, you canât fucking eat us ! â
â another fine mess weâve found ourselves in. â
â youâve got to be fucking shitting me ! â
â i didnât like what i became, so i hated what you became. â
â i donât deserve to go to heaven, but you do ! â
â welcome to heaven, motherfucker. â