Title: Labor Pains & Poor Decisions (HQ Edition)
Fandom: Kaiju No. 8 (Hoshina Soshiro x OC)
It started, as most disasters in HQ do, with Kafka Hibino saying, “Hey, what does this button do?”
To be fair—to be extremely unfair—it wasn’t even his fault this time.
The device had been delivered to the training room in a neat little case labeled:
“Pregnancy Pain Simulator – For Educational & Empathy Training Use.”
It had wires. It had patches. It had a warning label that said “Do Not Use Without Supervision.”
Naturally, the boys gathered around it like cavemen discovering fire.
“This,” Reno Ichikawa said, adjusting his glasses, “is a muscle stimulation device that mimics contraction pain during labor.”
Gen Narumi: “So… courage test?”
Hoshina, already rolling up his sleeve like this was a duel: “Absolutely.”
Reno looked at all of them like he was reconsidering his life choices. “This is for education. Not—whatever this is.”
“Education,” Narumi said, already sticking a patch to his stomach, “through experience.”
Five minutes later, the training room had turned into a full-blown “Who’s Built Different” Championship.
A whiteboard had appeared.
LEVEL 1–10: Contraction Intensity
Loser: eternal embarrassment + dish duty
Kafka was pacing. “Okay but like—how bad can it be?”
Reno: “Bad. It’s literally designed to simulate one of the most painful human experiences.”
Kafka: “…Cool, cool, cool—so we’re starting at level 3, right?”
Hoshina: “Start at 5. Don’t be boring.”
“LEVEL 5,” they all agreed, because men are predictable.
Not a scream. Not yet. Just… concern.
“Okay,” Kafka said, voice tight, “that’s—wow—that’s definitely something—”
The machine pulsed again.
Kafka folded like a lawn chair.
“OH—OKAY—NO—THAT’S—WHY—WHY DOES IT HURT LIKE THAT—”
Reno immediately rushed forward. “I told you—!”
“TURN IT OFF—TURN IT OFF—TURN IT OFF—”
Kafka collapsed to the floor, clutching his dignity. “I’ve made mistakes.”
Narumi nodded thoughtfully. “Respectable. Weak, but respectable.”
Kafka, from the ground: “I saw my ancestors again.”
He cracked his neck. “Watch and learn.”
He stood there, arms crossed, smug.
“—who designed this, a demon?!”
He doubled over slightly, teeth clenched.
Hoshina snorted. “Keep talking, I’m enjoying this.”
Narumi pointed at him. “You’re next. I’m turning it to 7.”
“Do it,” Hoshina said, grinning like a man who makes bad decisions recreationally.
Akane, who had been standing by the door for exactly two minutes watching this unfold, finally spoke.
“…What are you idiots doing?”
Kiyohime Akane stood there, arms crossed, taking in the scene:
Kafka on the floor. Narumi breathing like he just fought a Kaiju. Reno holding the instruction manual like it might save them.
“…Educational purposes,” Reno said weakly.
Akane looked at the machine. Then at Hoshina.
“…You’re going to try it.”
Hoshina grinned. “Course I am.”
She walked in, picked up the remote.
Reno choked. “THAT’S NOT—”
“Do it,” Hoshina said, still smiling.
Hoshina’s expression didn’t change.
He bent slightly, hand bracing against his knee, breath catching just a little too sharp.
Akane watched, unimpressed. “That’s barely half.”
Narumi, still recovering: “HALF?!”
Hoshina let out a short laugh, strained. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
He exhaled sharply. “Yeah—no—that’s—okay—”
Akane raised an eyebrow. “What happened to ‘don’t be boring’?”
“…I stand by it,” he muttered.
Reno finally snapped. “That’s enough—turn it off!”
Hoshina straightened slowly, rolling his shoulder like he just fought something invisible.
“…Respect,” he said after a second.
Akane crossed her arms. “You wouldn’t survive a full cycle.”
He glanced at her, smirk returning despite everything. “You offering to coach me through it?”
“…Try it again and I’ll increase it.”
Kafka, still on the floor: “DON’T FLIRT DURING PAIN TRAINING—”
Narumi: “He literally can’t help it.”
Five minutes later, the device was confiscated.
Ten minutes later, Mina had been informed.
Fifteen minutes later, Mina Ashiro walked into the room, took one look at the situation, and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“…You turned medical equipment into a competition.”
Kafka, still lying down: “Yes ma’am, I regret everything ma’am.”
“Good. You’re all on extra drills.”
Akane turned to leave, shaking her head slightly.
Hoshina watched her go, then glanced back at the machine being carried away. “…Level 10,” he muttered.
Reno whipped around. “NO.”
Kafka: “There better not be a next time—”
Akane, from the doorway: “There won’t.”
“…Unless I’m the one holding the remote.”
Hoshina grinned. “Looking forward to it.”
Kafka: “YOU SHOULDN’T BE—”
