Zenaida's Den

Christian | Married | I like Sci-Fantasy and speculative biology

[zenaidasden]

Welcome to my Page~

Yo, I'm Ash. This is my main account where I reblog stuff and yap about my life and ocs. I post sketches and oc art here but I have a separate art blog that I post fanart and commissions to @zenaidaillustration. I also run an ask blog for my main character, Alex, which you can follow @askalexsantos.

Other places you can find me:

Cara

Instagram

Art Fight

Toyhou.se

Outside of the internet, I am a married, Christian, woman in my late twenties, born and raised in the Midwest. I live with my husband, two cats (Ginkgo and Moby), and my betta fish (Samurai Jack). I have always been an artist and enjoy creating in a lot of different capacities. Digital art is my comfort zone, but I do dabble in traditional sketching and watercolor every now and then. I enjoy cross-stitch, knitting, and crochet as well.

Besides art, I am a natural science nerd. I love learning about how things work and in another life, I would have been a scientist specializing in ornithology or herpetology. I also enjoy gardening, video games, and listening to too much music. If you want to get to know me, you can also shoot me a message or an ask~

A non-exhaustive list of fandoms I partake in:

Star Wars (mostly TCW and the Cal Kestis games)

Spiderman

God of War 2018/Ragnarok

Twenty One Pilots

Sonic (IDW)

Ben 10

Tron Legacy/Uprising

[zenaidasden]

Alex Animation

Woah, he's alive!

18 frames and 20 hours later....

I haven't animated anything in like...6 years, please be nice...

Keyframes and animation without color under the cut!

hhh oh gosh, I can't believe I did this. The more I stare at it the more I see things wrong with it but thats STUPID, I made him move and that's all that matters. I also have never fully colored an animation before, I was gonna stop at just the lines but since I have an actual animation program now that makes adding layers n things a lot easier, I thought I'd try, and I'm glad I did! It makes him feel so much more alive,, very cool...

I will...be making more of these...hopefully...eventually...

Also you guys better feed me with reblogs and comments I DID THIS FOR YOU (not really but kinda, yall motivated me to try again, so thank you <33)

[zenaidasden]

Made a lil icon version for myself to use on ArtFight And Toyhouse :3

EDIT: GOSHDANGIT I FORGOT HIS MUSTACHE HAIRS HJDJK

uhg whatevr

[zenaidasden]

Alex Animation

Woah, he's alive!

18 frames and 20 hours later....

I haven't animated anything in like...6 years, please be nice...

Keyframes and animation without color under the cut!

hhh oh gosh, I can't believe I did this. The more I stare at it the more I see things wrong with it but thats STUPID, I made him move and that's all that matters. I also have never fully colored an animation before, I was gonna stop at just the lines but since I have an actual animation program now that makes adding layers n things a lot easier, I thought I'd try, and I'm glad I did! It makes him feel so much more alive,, very cool...

I will...be making more of these...hopefully...eventually...

Also you guys better feed me with reblogs and comments I DID THIS FOR YOU (not really but kinda, yall motivated me to try again, so thank you <33)

[zenaidasden]

My husband is a notorious sleep talker and...well he doesnt sleep walk but sometimes he acts out his dreams without leaving the bed. He hasn't done anything super weird or disruptive since the snake scare of '22 until last night, when I awoke to him pulling up my shirt and blowing a raspberry on my side, to which I violently elbowed him in the face. I was barely conscious and asked what he was doing and if he was okay and I don't remember what he said but he lowkey harrassed me in his sleep the rest of the night (just snuggling really close and talking in my ear, I had to keep pushing him away because he KEPT waking me UP) I even asked if he was awake at one point cause I was worried maybe he didn't feel good or something which he said YES IM AWAKE to btw. Anyway, this morning I asked how he slept and this mfer goes "oh I slept through the night for once." . . .THE GALL!!?!? I looked at him. I laughed. "What?" He said. I told him what he did and how poorly I slept and he looked SO upset and confused. "I wouldn't do that...I didn't do that, you're making that up..." Sorry dear, I am not, you are a menace when in an unconscious state and apparently the only indicator that you've slept well is if you put on a show in your sleep.

[zenaidasden]

Would you believe me if I said I stayed up til 1 last night WRITING???

I don't even believe me

[serendaphnis]

Hastily made drawings of Airi and her big sister. I don't have a name for her yet but I know she is sixteen years older and the eldest child.

[52stations]

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

[notesbyash]

think that everyone has their own personal theme in life

[notesbyash]

every nolan film is about time. it winds its way through his filmography; it is fractured in memento, distorted in inception, expanded in interstellar, reversed in tenet.

every hopper painting is about stillness. it is found in every brushstroke; at dusk in automat, at dawn in morning sun, at noon in office in a small city, at night in nighthawks.

i have a friend who orbits ideas of power, another who delights in the prosaic and the plain. one weaves around systems and structures, another returns always to wonder at the sea.

there are other elements of course - our lives cannot be measured by single concepts no matter how large they may be - but time and again i think we return to the things that fascinate, the things that intrigue, the things we cannot quite tear ourselves away from. the themes of our lives.

[gollygeedash]

First attack of the year, for @qbull !

[ryebreadgf]

it’s just a silly vampire show it doesn’t define my life

[vulturevanity]

I think we need to kill the sentiment that people lose their right to personhood once they do something bad enough

[blessthosewhocurseyou]

I think we need to kill the sentiment that personhood and humanity come in relative amounts and can slowly decrease until they're lost instead of being simple, absolute facts true of every member of the human species

[some-pers0n]

Genuine madness how people keep hyping up the taste of alcohol and it's absolutely repulsive and violently terrible. This tastes like lead and would be used for some sort of strange torture method as opposed to a recreational drink

[zenaidasden]

Do you need a restraining order to keep her away?

I'll say

[qjaiden]

[zenaidasden]

@luke-shywalker

[luke-shywalker]

what if mutually-assured destruction. if ash draws me making out with my emotional support self-projection garbage man i draw her making out with her emotional support self-projection garbage man

[zenaidasden]

KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS YOU KILLS Y

[manda-kat]

So many of my stories and ideas include a person being transformed into something else so I straight up wrote a guide for identifying signs of transformation and a procedure for transforming properly so you don't injure yourself or knock furniture over like in so many movies. Who is this guide for? For my CHARACTERS??? Like I'd ever prepare them for the things I have planned?

[purpleisnotacolor]

can we see it please???

I love urban fantasy stuff like that. it's so cool to think of how society would handle magic if it's existed for a long time. if people turn into werewolves and similar often enough, this would totally be a thing.

[manda-kat]

Okie dokie. It's a little haphazard and I've cut some of the lore stuff at the beginning, since it isn't really relevant to the text.

When you transform, you may become another species, gain a supernatural ability, become a species not yet recorded, become a sapient animal, gain features not associated with humans or simply experience changes to your appearance without changing your species. A transformation can range from becoming a giant dragon, turning into a kitten, growing wings or just noticing that your eyes have turned green. Remember that your new form is not terrible, just different.

Your internal organs may transform without any outward changes. Feel your breathing and heartbeat to test if your heart and lungs are in the same location and still functioning. If they do not seem to be functioning anymore, do not panic. You are clearly still alive. This simply means they have changed in some way or you no longer need them to survive. 

We currently theorize that transformations tend to reflect an individual's self-image, although it may simply be that one’s self-image is transformed as their body changes. 

If you have not yet transformed, the best thing you can do is prepare yourself for the possibility. Do not panic. It is natural to feel uneasy at the idea of transformation. It is important not to panic, as stress can cause health concerns and some research (although not proven) suggests that imagining transformations can induce them. 

Now that you are aware of your possible future transformation, you need to be aware if and when it occurs. Signs of transformation vary depending on the transformation itself. However, common signs include:

Sudden Pain. Bones aching are a sign that they are changing shape. Itchy and irritated skin can be a sign of scales or feathers growing. Tooth pain, head pain, muscle pain, joint pain, back pain and stomach pain are common complaints. If you have sudden or unexplained pain- especially in multiple parts of your body at once- you may be transforming.

Sudden Sickness. Some transformations can make the subject feel very ill. You may feel nauseous, dizzy, feverish, weakened, fatigued, irritable or confused. 

Strange Urges/Cravings. Becoming a different creature may cause changes to your mind and alter your normal desires. Try to remember what desires are normal for a human and normal for you personally. Craving raw meat, nesting on an egg, licking things, walking on all fours, marking territory and biting are not common desires for humans. Your personal desires being altered, such as craving a food you don’t normally like, preferring cold temperatures but suddenly craving warmth, being minimalistic but developing hoarding tendencies are also possible signs that your mind is transforming. 

Change in Ability. When transforming, a person may develop abilities and skills they previously lacked and/or lose abilities that were once second nature. While this obviously applies to supernatural powers, it also manifests in mundane scenarios. Increased coordination, physical strength, reflexes, memory and confidence could be signs of transformation. Losing your ability to speak, process certain senses, understand language, stand upright, use fine motor skills, problem solve, remember details and use logic are also possible signs. 

A Feeling of Change. This sign is more nebulous, but during some transformations, the subject describes a strange feeling that they are about to change, despite not yet showing other signs. This symptom is hard to explain, but if you experience it, take a moment to prepare for transformation.

How to Have a Safe, Healthy and Positive Transformation Experience:

While the concept of transformation often causes fear for those who have not yet experienced it, some consider their transformed body more representative of their true identity than what they were before. If handled properly, a transformation can be the start of a journey of self-discovery. It also cannot be stopped if it is happening, so regardless of your feelings you may still be forced to undergo this transformation. The best thing you can do is know how to have the best transformation experience possible. 

Once you realize you are transforming, follow these steps:

Don’t Panic. This can be a traumatic experience and it may cause you distress. That being said, reacting with panic is dangerous. Be sure to remember these instructions and follow them calmly. To express and alleviate fear, you may scream and cry without much risk. Avoid running, fighting, or hurting yourself.

Avoid Transforming Alone (If Possible). If you start to transform, one of the most helpful things you can do is let a trusted friend or medical/scientific professional know. You likely won’t have time to go get somebody, but if anyone is within hearing range, we recommend shouting to them so they can assist you in your transformation. Some prefer to transform alone, as it is a deeply vulnerable, personal and sometimes traumatic experience. However, while transforming, a person can fall, lose consciousness and develop sudden and dangerous conditions due to their new form. It is incredibly risky to transform alone. If you have nobody with you, be sure to carefully follow every other step in this list. 

Remove Your Clothes. Your health and safety are more important than your pride. If your body drastically changes, your clothes and accessories may cause injuries. If you grow rapidly, you could be strangled. If you shrink, you could be smothered. To preserve modesty, a good technique is to remove clothes and drape a shirt or blanket over your sensitive areas. 

Move to an Open Area. If your body experiences rapid growth, you do not want to be trapped in a small room. Move to a large room or go outside. 

Lay Down. It is very common to pass out while transforming. To avoid injuries, lay down on your side. You can rest your head on a pillow or a rolled up piece of clothing. 

Avoid Treating Pain. While it is tempting to numb the pain of a transformation, you do not know how certain spells or medications will react to your changing body. Your tolerances may be different in your new form and certain types of magic or substances that were safe before may become deadly. Unfortunately, there is little to do about pain aside from distract yourself. Eating and drinking should also be avoided for now.

Remain Still. After your transformation, do not immediately stand, get dressed or move around. Some transformations come in bursts. Remain laying down for several minutes, focusing on breathing and lowering your heart rate (provided you still breathe and have a heart.) Stay conscious during this time (if possible) and try to take stock of your new body. Lingering pain is normal. You will also likely be incredibly hungry and exhausted. Don’t eat or sleep yet. Just focus on adjusting. Make a mental list of every change you notice. Try to remember how your body looks now, just in case it changes again. This is also a good time to search for clues regarding your new needs and biology.

Recharge. Once you have rested for at least thirty minutes it should be safe to move around. Be sure to eat well. Eat according to your cravings, as your new body may be trying to teach you what requirements it has now. You may have the urge to eat pets or people if you become more carnivorous. Do not follow these cravings. DO NOT EAT PEOPLE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! That is just your body telling you to find meat. You are not a monster, you are just adapting to a new situation and your body’s signals may need time to adjust. Be sure to eat until you are full. Your body needs to recover the energy it expended and you may have different dietary needs now. It may feel strange to eat more than you are used to, but if you are still hungry, you should eat. Some creatures do not eat food. Your new instincts should guide you if you now require sunlight or another source of energy. Once you have eaten, be sure to sleep. 

Post Transformative Despair. It is very common for transformation to cause feelings of fear, sadness, disgust and despair. It is natural to be resistant to change, especially when you maybe never wanted to change in the first place. Your new body may appear foreign to you or not appeal to the standards you were raised on. Try not to indulge thoughts of dissociation. Do not think of your current body and previous body as different people. Do not change your name. Do not harm or mutilate yourself. Do not attempt to surgically change yourself without a medical professional and specialized equipment.

If you experience Post Transformative Despair please tell someone and make an effort to take care of your new body. A healthy body fosters a healthy mindset. Repeat these phrases to yourself in times of despair:

I am [your name]

Change is natural

No physical body is permanent

My inner self cannot be transformed

[zenaidasden]

i thought i was gonna finish this animation today;;

head in hands

silly me, what was i thinking!!