hiiii i go by zeph i guess! i'm supercool i post art.
give me things so draw please i like drawing what other people like
!!minor!!
he/him
gay (mlm)
arospec
what's going on im scared
I LOVE DA PITT
i realllyyyyy like Ghost, my fav papa is Terzo teehee, and my fav album is
either meliora or impera prolly
i ALSO really like mlp!!! fav pony is, obvs, rarity, and discord's pretty lit too!
the fear mongering around transmasculine people who sing going on testosterone genuinely pisses me off. yes, you will be able to sing. no, you won't lose your voice. no, low voices aren't ugly (where are people even getting this shit???). no, higher voices aren't prettier. sing through the changes (don't push anything). hydrate. h y d r a t e. please don't stop singing, your voice will sound amazing.
so i think i can actually call myself one of the ""worse"" outcomes for my voice on T because I did lose my falsetto entirely and I don't have it back yet. I also sing in choirs regularly so not having a falsetto does come up and limit what I can do.
here's the thing though: i fucking love my voice so much
disclaimers: i started T in october of 2019 so i did not have the chance to sing through the changes the way that would have been ideal, so that's probably why i lost some skills. i could probably get them back if i trained for it, but i don't care to because it's fine
i'm comfortably a baritone now and my voice is fucking awesome and i love it so much and i sing all the time and my technical skill has improved massively but who give a shit about technical skill the more important thing is that i'm getting so much more joy out of it. if you love to sing and you're scared of T because of that, i promise you that even in the ""worst"" possible scenario i've ever heard of anyone actually experiencing, it'll be amazing
Read my first ever official fic here oooooor on ao3!
Pleas be critical but not TOO critical, as this is my first ever fic, but i still wanna know what I could do better in the next chapter I write!
“Whitaker.”
…
“Whitaker…”
…
“Dennis!”
Dennis shot up from his stupor, gazing up to see Trinity.
“Yes...? Sorry!”
Trinity stared at him for a moment, eyes narrowed, as if gauging his emotions.
“You comin’ tonight?”
“... To?”
Dennis asked, rather confused.
“Jesus, Den. The bar? The one some of us always go to after a good shift?”
Trinity sounded annoyed with him, but that seemed to be the case most days, unfortunately.
Right, the bar. He’d forgotten about that. Rarely, when they have a particularly good shift, some of the group will go to Max's Allegheny Tavern, near the hospital, for a couple drinks, or just to talk.
“Uh-...yeah, I guess I’ll go. Just-...gimme a minute to gather my stuff.”
“Yeah, whatever, Fuckleberry…”
Trinity crossed her arms, tapping her foot and waiting.
Dennis did his best to quickly gather his belongings, sort of just shoving items into his bags. After he finished, he stood up, turning to Trinity.
She let out a huff at him.
“Done yet?”
“... Yup.”
“Good, let's go. I promised Yolanda I wouldn’t be late this time…”
She drags him by the arm, giving him a pointed look, as if blaming him for her tardiness.
Dennis chuckled, nudging her teasingly.
“Yolanda…”
Trinity grunted, shoving him back a bit too aggressively.
“Oh, shut up… So, what were you thinking about just now?”
Dennis had been staring at the floor, but looked up at her at that.
“Hm? Oh… it’s nothin’-
They turn the corner, and he bumps straight into a large chest. He grunts, looking up, seeing the bearded face of Michael Robinavitch staring down at him with an almost bored expression,
“... Mind your way, Whitaker.”
Dennis can almost feel how red his face has gotten.
“Oh-...Uhm-... So sorry, Dr. Robby!... I, uh, wasn’t looking… where…”
“Don’t sweat it, kid. I wasn’t looking either if I’m being completely honest...”
Dennis watched as Robby gave him a small smile, crows' feet bunching up delightfully at the corners of his warm brown eyes.
“Have a nice night, Whitaker.”
Robby nodded at him, then continued walking.
“Yeah…”
Dennis said, watching him leave for a moment before suddenly speaking up.
“Oh! Dr. Robby, wait a sec!”
Robby whirled around to look at him, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, kid?”
Dennis shuffled on his feet, before speaking.
“Uh, sir, I was wondering if you wanted to come with us tonight? To-… to the bar. It'll just be a few of us, me, Trinity, Garcia, Abbot, Dana, maybe Princess and Perlah, just for fun…”
He watched as Robby seemed to contemplate this idea, hand moving up to rub his beard, as he always did when being stuck on a thought.
“... I’ll think about it.”
He’ll think about it, Dennis thought. Think.
———————————————————————————————————————
When Robby was clocking out for the night, the last thing he would have suspected to happen would be Dennis Whitaker, his Resident, bumping square into his chest, then shortly asking him to go to a bar. Other people would be at the bar, of course, but the important thing was that Dennis had asked him. Jack and Dana had been asking him for months…
“Robby, want to come with us to the bar?
“Rob, it was a great shift today! Come with us to the tavern on the corner of Middle and Suismon?”
“C’mon, man. You need to get your mind off things. Join us and the group for a couple drinks.”
Robby didn’t need to get his mind off anything. He was perfectly fine… But, then again,
Dennis had asked him to come. How the hell could he say no to a face like that? Those big blue eyes, those curly locks that had grown out perfectly, the way he looked at him when apologizing-... No! He shouldn’t be thinking about those sorts of things in reference to his own resident… Robby was nearly thirty years older than him, for crying out loud! At this point, he’s home. The others are probably at the tavern by now, drinking, having fun, all without him. He sits down on his couch, flicking on the TV, legs crossed on top of the table. He scrolls through channels for a while; nothing interesting is on tonight. Just a few basic news stories, some old, boring game shows, and a few kids cartoons. He pauses for a split second on a random cartoon.
“-And just remember, it’s important to have hangouts with your loved ones!”
It says, almost taunting him.
Robby grunts and quickly switches the television off, bringing his feet off the table and onto the floor. He rubs at the lines of his forehead, letting out a huff of air.
“I don’t need a damn kids cartoon tellin’ me what to do… I’ll just-... I’ll just do it myself, goddamnit!”
He gets up off the couch, trudging out the door, and hopping on his motorcycle.
———————————————————————————————————————
They’ve been at the bar for maybe an hour at this point. Everyone’s shown up, drinking drinks and chatting playfully. Everyone except Robby. Dennis is sitting between Abbot and Santos, knee bouncing anxiously under the table as he just stares at the door. Santos notices this and nudges him.
“Yo, chill out, Huckleberry. I told you he wouldn’t show, so why expect it?”
Dennis pays her no mind, continuously, hopefully, staring at the oak door. He feels a hand on his shoulder, turning around to see Abbot, Dana next to him, both staring at him.
“Sorry, kid.” Abbot says, “He never shows-”
The bell on the tavern door lets out a jingle, making Dennis jump. He whirls around, seeing none other than Robby step through the door. He looks tired and awkward, but hey, at least he showed up. Dana snorts at him.
“Well look who finally showed his face.” She gestures to Dennis, “Kid’s been staring at the door, waiting for you, for nearly an hour now…”
Robby gives her a look, as if silently telling her to shut it. He pulls out a chair, sitting down directly next to Dennis, in between him and Abbot. Their knees briefly touch, before Robby pulls his away. A waiter notices the new arrival that is Robby, and also that Dennis hasn’t ordered a drink yet, and struts up to them.
“Can I get you two anything?”
They ask politely.
Dennis speaks up first.
“Uh, just a Bud Light for me, please.”
Robby looks up finally, speaking.
“... Whiskey…thanks.”
The waiter nods, shuffling off to grab them their drinks.
The two sit awkwardly for a moment, before Dennis finally speaks up.
“So, uhm…thanks for coming, Dr. Robby.”
Robby gives him a nod, adjusting his jacket.
“...Yeah.”
They continue sitting awkwardly for another moment until the waiter from before brings their drinks.
“Alrighty… Here are the lady’s fries,” he hands a small basket of fries to Trinity that she had ordered a bit ago, and then turns to Robby and Dennis, “and some drinks for the happy couple!”
Dennis almost turns as red as a tomato when he hears that.
“O-oh!... We’re not-...a, uh…”
Robby says it for him, his face, and neck, also noticeably flushed.
“We are…not a couple.”
The waiter realizes what they had said and profusely apologizes to the two.
“Oh! My sincerest apologies! I should not have assumed that...”
They whisk themself away, clearly embarrassed.
Trinity, Perlah, and Princess had been closely surveying this whole shenanigan, and now all have humongous grins on their faces. Dennis, being surprisingly observant, notices this and gives them all a very quick glare before turning back to his drink and taking a characteristically awkward sip. The three girls scoff at him and mutter to each other something that Dennis assumes is unkind in Tagalog. The two men wait another nervewracking moment, before Robby takes a sip of whiskey. He then proceeds to speak, shifting slightly in his wooden seat.
“So…what’cha got there, Whitaker…?”
“Oh, you can just call me Dennis outside of work…”
Dennis says with that stupidly cute smile of his.
“Right… So, Dennis, what are you drinking tonight?”
Robby replies with a cough.
“Uh, just a Bud Light… I don’t like the stronger stuff.”
Robby lets out a rough chuckle at hearing that, crossing his legs.
“Seriously, kid? Bud Light?”
Dennis lets out a huff.
“Well then, if your taste is so good, what do you have?”
“Whiskey,” Robby responds, “ever tried it?”
Dennis shakes his head.
“Of course you haven’t… Here, try some of mine.”
He gently shoves his glass of whiskey towards Dennis. Dennis stares at it for a moment before picking it up and taking a gulp. He then proceeds to cough, clearly not anticipating how strong the whiskey was gonna be… Robby laughs at him.
“Jesus, kid! That was a big gulp for your first time tryin’ whiskey…”
Dennis coughs some more, speaking between breaths.
“I- cough wasn’t expecting- cough it to be that strong…!”
Robby laughs, patting him roughly on the back.
“Yeah, no shit it’s gonna be strong, it’s fucking whiskey!”
Dennis finally recovers from his coughing fit, looking up at Robby with those big blue eyes. Robby almost feels his face flush for a split second.
“...You can call me Michael, by the way.”
———————————————————————————————————————
As the night proceeds, the two lose more and more of their sobriety. Dennis sits closer to Robby, their legs touching, as Dennis giggles about random facts he knows. Robby, this time, decides not to move his leg away from Dennis’.
“giggle They sell oysters here… Did’ya know that oysters are an aphrodisiac….? giggle At least…I think they are… Heard it in a movie… Sum'thin ‘bout dudes dressing up as chicks…”
Robby chuckles at him, leaning his head on his palm.
“Hm, well maybe…we should get some… Oysters, not…the movie.”
Dennis giggles playfully, but a bit too roughly, swatting Robby on the arm.
“Michael, you tease…!”
Trinity, Princess, and Perlah watch them with big smirks, laughing to each other at their drunken flirtations. The two men don’t seem to notice this… Robby suddenly reaches up a hand, twirling it in Dennis’ short, curly locks. Dennis watches him with dazed blue eyes. Robby hums, speaking.
Dennis stares at him from under those blonde lashes.
“...Thanks… You’re hot too.”
Robby lets out a laugh, still toying with Dennis’ hair.
“You’re so welcome…and thanks to you too, Dennis…”
They just gaze at each other for a while, Robby playing with Dennis’ hair, Dennis toying with the older man’s hoodie zipper. After a moment, Dennis shoots up.
“...I needa piss.”
He quickly rushes off to the bathroom. Robby watches him for a second, before standing up and following. Princess, Trinity, and Perlah grin, watching them. Princess makes a crude gesture with her fingers, which in turn makes the others burst out laughing.
———————————————————————————————————————
In the bathroom, Dennis finishes up, washing his hands in the sink and drying them. He sees the door creak open, and in steps Robby. The two stare at each other for a moment, before moving to a corner. Dennis forgets how much taller Robby is than his own, measly five-foot-seven frame. Robby sighs, crossing his arms and staring down at Dennis.
“Look, kid-...” he thinks, brows furrowing, “I really like you. Like, a lot…and I believe you like me too.”
Dennis feels his whole skin become cherry red. If he had a tail, it would be wagging at this point.
“Yes! Yes, I like you… I like your grey hairs, your golden brown eyes, the way you rub your beard when you’re thinking or upset, hell, even the way you boss me around sometimes. Oh! And I love the way you touch my shoulders when you’re happy with me…”
Robby stares at him for a moment, almost bewildered, he stammers for a moment, before Dennis cuts him off.
“Michael, may I kiss you?”
Robby, again, stutters, but manages to get out a:
“Yeah, s-sure.”
The two lock lips, Dennis having to stand on his tip-toes to reach Robby’s face. They kiss simply for a brief moment, rather messily, to be honest. Dennis’ hands find their way to Robby’s hips, then Robby suddenly pulls away. Dennis studies his face with an ounce of worry, almost seeing a hint of…resentment, worry, disappointment? What was it he saw in that damn wrinkled face of his? Did he do something wrong? Was he a bad kisser? He’d never kissed anyone before, so maybe that was the case.
“D-....did I do something wrong, Micha-”
Robby cuts him off.
“No, kid, j-just-....”
He stares at the floor, rubbing his beard. He sighs, shuffling on his feet.
“...Fuuuck, sorry, Whitaker. This-....this was a mistake.”
He zips up his hoodie, walking quickly out of the bathroom. Dennis stands there for a moment, bewildered by what just happened. He quickly comes to his senses, though, when he hears the distinct jingle of the tavern door. He briskly runs out the bathroom door, speaking as he moves.
Last song: I wish I was a riot grrrl - Destructo Disk
Currently reading: Hogfather by Terry Pratchett
Currently watching: nothing in particular, theoretically I have two episodes of 1670 left to watch but I haven't watched it in a few months so I doubt I'll actually finish it
Currently playing: mainly Stardew Valley, Don't Starve Together, Portal 2 and Stray
Currently craving: pancakes or waffles
No pressure tags: @bismuththedragon @noonehere-rightnow @roslina-w-bagnie
currently watching: i don't watch many shows... i guess hazbin hotel, but i'm waiting for when someone else has time to watch season 2 with me so i don't lose my mind
currently playing: (edited, i misunderstood) deltarune
currently craving: taco bell black bean crunchwrap supreme
tags: hi mutuals... mass tag number 2... love and peace... @anxiousth1ng @plushtenna @zephyxoxide @thechillsquid @ratlesshonret @httpsawesome @happidapp @mochapng @secludedscar @tomyeahjusttom @tobytimee @penn-and-paper @thenormalcritter @scottsbeans @l0rd-0f-c0ws @winterwither781 @supersillyval @tetanus-shot @thebeetleinabag @lemonfreshsal @sof-kr26 @sillyl1ttleleaf @qualityscum @hotsaucebear @ideligo @thevickylu @melonsflower @gingertomcat
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