trying to keep my insanity

wanna know something about me? ask me!

[theocseason4]

[longscorsese]

king

[puertohurraco]

King

[vortigone]

[occidentalist]

“Pack it up boys we’ve made a social blunder” is the funniest sentence I’ve ever read 😭😭😭😭😭

[sol1loqu1st]

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

[sol1loqu1st]

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

[liebelesbe]

I love emoji reactions so much. Don't know what to say but don't want to ignore whoever texted you? Boom. Lizard reaction 🦎

[treasuredplanet]

in hindsight sending the number one digit at a time created the funniest half second of either of our lives

[gaykomaegi]

absolutely love this shot where rose is watching her home planet die off after five billion years and the doctor is just slaying off in the corner

[crystal-mouse]

Same image

[bushoutforbela]

Is this anything

[grlstlker]

just let me bite you a little

[jaubaius]

Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell

[waffilicious]

imagine if a fuckin……. giant alien just showed up and stuck a huge hand in front of your face and then proceeded to offer you three different houses and wouldn’t stop until you moved out of your old shitty apartment and then helped you fuckin move

and then just left

[glitterary]

I first saw this on twitter and COULD NOT get over these comments:

Twitter link

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

[trashcangimmick]

[babushkaat]

[hunter-rodrigez]

kitty perfect weight for picking up for cuddles! kitty very Soft and warm and will purr comfortably in your arms. Pick up kitty. no problems ever when picking up kitty because good weight and size for picking up after surgery.

[mildmayfoxe]

1) any stretching is better than no stretching

2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable

3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are

[fandomsandfeminism]

Is there anything sadder than the little chunk of Kikis Delivery Service when Kiki says “I used to really like flying before it was my job” and then gets so burned out that her magic stops working and she cant talk to Jiji anymore and she tries so hard to FORCE the magic that she breaks her mothers broom and stays up all night, alone, trying to make a new one and crying?

And I know it is all ok in the end- Kiki has friends who look out for her and she takes care of herself and finds her place.

But fuck, those 20 minutes just hurt my heart so much.

[shybi-n-ready2cry]

[virtualgirladvance]

[divineobject919]

well to be fair an agere 12 year old girl would also write like that

[the-haiku-bot]

well to be fair an

agere 12 year old girl would

also write like that

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[trans-masked]

Hey so hard drugs are not actually a victimless crime and if you’ve never watched someone you love waste away into a violent, angry shell of themselves maybe you shouldn’t be condescendingly talking about addiction as if it’s just a bodily autonomy issue 👍

[trans-masked]

Taking a shower and doing meth are not the same thing actually! It turns out that there’s a mechanism in your body that causes you to disregard risk in order to get your fix and drugs famously cause a disordered mental state and irrational decision making

[dinsintegration]

[numbtotherhythm]

in my notifications

[thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis]

[neechees]

[strangerfandomfiascos]

[airportrunwaymodel]

[c4ps3p]

[ivan-fyodorovich-deactivated202]

high comedy

[displeasedfrog]

[official-penis-posts]

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[muse-meter]

I remember going to an apple tasting once as a kid and they crossbred what I think was an Asian Pear with an apple of some kind. It was SO GOOD, but I have yet to come across it again. Two decades of not looking at all, so I doubt I'll ever find it again.

[screenshotsofdespair]