zerohundreds, i guess

she/her, 20s

[phantomrose96]

Dealing with burnout is sooooooooooooooo easy all you need to do is operate at 40% indefinitely and be kind of mad at yourself the whole time.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[cruzfucker]

[dazeylily]

[new to sadism] I'm gonna hurt the blood out of you

[sqooops]

[new to masochism] no 😦

[e-102]

me leaving the theatre with two roasted turkeys in my shoulders

[e-102]

i don’t understand what this post is saying, why would i be leaving the theatre with uneaten turkeys. where did i get them from. what the fuck was i talking about.

[kamayana]

[tastylemonbread]

[chickensnack]

TUESDAY AGAIN NO PROBLEM

[bethanydelleman]

Never research horse travel speeds and limitations for your fan fiction; it is cursed knowledge. It will ruin your ability to enjoy horse-travel related fiction forever. They never rest the horses. They never change horses. They run flat out for days. The more you learn the more you'll realize that most modern writers treat them like cars.

[aquitainequeen]

One of my favourite bits of C.S. Lewis' The Horse and his Boy is when the human protagonists are panicking about the antagonist taking 200 soldiers and leading a surprise attack on Archenland (Narnian ally) and worrying that he'll already have a head start on them, and one of the Talking Horse characters saying 'Not if he needs to get 200 soldiers awakened and summoned and all their horses fed, watered, saddled and provisioned, he's not.'

The book is a perfect defiance of Automaton Horse, because the Horses can outright say 'Yeah, no, I won't be doing that.'

[earhartsease]

also one of the finest metaphors ever to grace literature comes from that same horse named Bree (which is by the way short for Breehee-hinny-brinny-hoohy-hah)

remember that he's a horse, and so when he's saying "we will foil the plans of the evil prince Rabadash to make a surprise attack by getting there before him to warn the Archenlanders" what he actually says is

"we'll grease his oats for him"

and this has stuck in our lexicon for decades

[elodieunderglass]

You can grease your horse to water but you still can’t make him prance to Bree -

Anyway! Horse Walking Speed and Human Walking Speed are the same speed.

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

being moderately proficient with computers in the early 2010s was casting a hex on your family to call you sheldon

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

i got a big bang theory box set and a bazinga t shirt for christmas when i was 16

[cozy2000]

my dad wanted to get me a psych eval so i could say "im not crazy. my father had me tested." like sheldon did and after the psych eval they diagnosed me with paranoid schizophrenia

[baboon-87]

this could be the funniest thing that has happened to anyone ever. my condolences king

[fatguarddog]

"Yeah I get really turned on when people are kinda forward about wanting me" - person who struggles to feel desirable

[gammadoppler]

i hate it when the ball is in my court get that shit out of here

[eroscestlavie]

"I can't tell if OP is doing a wildly bad faith reading of a sentiment I'm familiar with or if there's a corner of this website that is completely insane in a way that I am not personally privy to" is such a classic tumblr feeling isn't it. Like it really could be anything

remember that time that spock said “this is about sex” but he couldn’t say sex so instead he said “biology” and kirk clearly knew what he meant but was awkwardly like “what kind of biology” and spock got this look on his face like ‘oh lordy i’m not dealing with this today’ and said “vulcan biology” and kirk can’t say the word sex either so he goes “u mean the biology of vulcans” and then they stood there in silence for ten seconds like a pair of fucking idiots

[castielsbeefriend]

[iamthecutestofborg]

[kushblazer666]

i will not be having an ipad baby. i will be having a Pea baby

[sh12pen-bookfan]

[hiveswap]

[Explaining something that changed my brain chemistry irrepairably] it sucks complete ass and you ahould never ever engage with it

[thecryptkeeper]

emails from students are either by someone who’s never written any emails ever (but we all start somewhere right) or “a thousand apologies i shall do better my liege”

[vee-dmsr]

[am1vf]

Not leaving this in the tags

[yellbug]

why IS it considered embarrassing and low class for someone's bra to be visible. accept your understanding of my bra or explode into 1000 unfindable shards