Zero Scored

Mattzere reviews games. Doesn't score them.

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Disco Elysium - Sorry-not-Sorry(-Cop)

Available on: PC (reviewed); coming soon to PS4 and xBox One

**Warning. Late-game spoilers.**

I can talk my way out of this. I can save everyone. I'm not drunk.

The mercenaries are all armed, armoured and angry. The Hardy boys are cornered - and that makes them dangerous. But I have knowledge on my side.

I stand between the factions with Lieutenant Kim, as ever, by my side. Time to tell my story. I've been a mess, a monster, a sorry cop and a "regular" cop. I'm pretty sure I'm a moralist and a communist (somehow). Manly, though, I'm a good detective.

The Mercs listen to me but keep their guns trained on us. I hold my nerve. The time finally comes to convince everyone that there is a peaceful solution. With all that I've done, there's an 83% chance that this will work.

The dice roll.

Crack. Failure. There's no way out now. The bullets will fly. With our clunky old police-issue revolvers, Kim and I don't stand a chance. We're in serious trouble here.

And then I clock the jar in my off-hand. A jar of blue bottling spirits with a HORRIBLE tie shoved inside. Why had I made this? What had possessed me to pickle my necktie? Here goes nothing...

I lob the makeshift molotov. The next few seconds are a blur. I do some badass dodging, Kim takes out the sniper merc. I get shot. I'm down. I'm out.

I keep fighting. I stay lucid just long enough to feel Kim reach down to me. He is trying to help. There are tears - probably mine. There is pain. My vision fades and as it does I glimpse a figure step behind Kim - the final merc. My gun, two bullets in it's barrel, is still in my hand. My final action is to present it to Kim. I NEED to save him. The odds shouldnt be in my favour. Except...

+1: Kim trusts you.

...

+2: Kim REALLY trusts you.

And there I sit, the real me. Staring at the numbers. Tears welling up my eyes. After all the mad things I've done, after all the mistakes I've made. But Kim trusts me. Trusts Harry. Kim has backed me up time and again and here we are. Things are bad, but Kim knows I tried my best. Kim REALLY trusts me.

The last thing I'm aware of is Kim taking my gun and, instinctively, shouting the merc behind him. He knew what I meant. Kim is okay. Kim is okay and now I can die.

Things didn't end there. There were loose ends to tie off. That was, however, the defining moment of Disco Elysium for me. An emotional crescendo. I wasn't expecting that when I first stumbled out of my wrecked room in the Whirling-in-Rags. The game starts bleak but it balances out the darkness with humour. The phenomenal writing allows you to easily lean into role. And that role could be very different from player to player.

What a game. 👍👍👍👍👍👍

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The Outer Worlds - A Costume Quest

Available on: PS4 (reviewed), xBox One, PC, coming soon to Switch

This whole city might want me dead but that's not going to stop me from collaborating with THE Celeste Jolicoeur. Now listen, I'm wanted because I refused to mercilessly slaughter a relatively innocent little town. And, yes, I might have killed the military officer in charge but I didnt particularly want to. I just wanted everyone to live in peace. And The Board (TM) to suffocate in the endless vacuum of space.

Anyway, there just happen to be two guards inside Celeste's shop. At first, I attempt to crouch and sneak into the shop. My companions lock eyes with the guards and can't help but attack. Hmm, I'm going to need to fly solo on this one. I reload a save and send my loyal companions packing.

Crouch and shimmy - it's fool-proof. Sadly, these guards are no fools. They are facing the entrance to Celeste's shop and easily spot me. I could take them but I'd also have to take out Celeste and then I'd never get my fancy outfit.

I reload.

Tactical Time Dilation (TTD) lets me slow everything (including the guards' reaction times) to a crawl. A perk allows me move at full speed for the first few dilated seconds. I zip through, under the guards' noses, and just make it behind the counter. TTD ends and all is calm. Celeste doesn't mind that I've materialised by her feet. The guards haven't clocked me. To talk to Celeste I have to stand up so up I pop, in full view of the guards. They start to freak but have the decency to hold off hostility whilst Celeste and I chat business. She is overjoyed that I have brought sample outfits from across the universe but insists I try them on.

I crouch, the guards forget me. I stand, wearing Spacer's Choice gear from head to toe. It's not the best choice, as they say, it's Spacer's Choice. Celeste approves. I duck back down before the guards decide that I exist.

I repeat this process with two further outfits.

Finally, inspiration strikes Celeste and she asks me to fetch some materials. If only she'd ended the quest there...

When I eventually return, there's no escaping the bloodshed. I think a conflict in the nearby bar encouraged Celeste and her guards to join the fray.

Huh, it turns out I can just loot the gear... And everything else in her shop too.

I'm not going to look for a moral, here. The Outer Worlds is a good game and that's okay. It doesn't tell a wonderful story or feature groundbreaking mechanics. It's - in my opinion - a better Fallout. It's fun and funny. A bit silly, a bit bleak. Ultimately, I give The Outer Worlds a 👍 but I get it if you're burnt out on Fallouts and pass on this little FPS RPG.

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Assassin's Creed Odyssey - Super Murder Odyssey

Available on: PC, XBox One, PS4 (reviewed)

Man works in a shop. He has hired me to protect him - something about spies and coded letters. All I need to do is stop three guys from killing him and then one further brute of a man.

Attempt one:

I foolishly expect Man to run and hide, rather than fistfight the multiple armed assailants. They kill Man.

Attempt two:

I kill the three guys with ease, but Kassandra decides to finish of the third guy with a real flourish. She swings the giant club down upon the (already dead) man again and again. It's a real spectacle. Plenty of panache. Unfortunately, all the while, the brute has run in and is repeatedly stabbing Man. Kassandra refuses to be cool. Man dies.

Attempt three:

I kill the three guys. I start to beat up the brute before he can get NEAR Man. Some nearby Spartan soldiers spot the fight and can't help but get involved. I accidentally clip one with my club and now THEY ALL WANT ME DEAD. Man decides he likes his odds with the Spartans better and switches alliegences. I try to defend myself against the Spartans, but one particularly heavy blow from my club sends a Spartan flying directly into Man. Man dies.

Attempt four:

I kill the three guys. I begin to beat up brute. The Spartans spot the fight and join in. Man and the Spartans attack the brute. I watch. The brute dies. The Spartans celebrate. Man thanks me. Job done.

Sometimes, in Assassin's Creed Odyssey, the faction system is weird and broken. I've freed captured Spartans from Athenian camps only to immediately kill said Spartans because I had a particular quest to kill [X] Spartans. There's no allegiance system, really. Kill who you want.

...

And I guess that's okay. I mean, it's a game all about being an assassin. You mightn't get to feel like much of a hero but there are a lot of other things to love. The combat is better than ever. Context-sensitive buttons are smarter than ever (apart from the 'talk' and 'assassinate' button being the same) and the world - the world! It's overwhelmingly big but it's so beautiful. It's varied and interesting. It's historical yet mythical.

I'm over a hundred hours into the game and I'm yet to complete either of the main story threads. However, I have triumphed in some incredible battles; I've completed some genuinely funny quests; I've travelled leagues. Ultimately, I've loved it.

Kassandra is the best AC character so far and I heartily recommend you begin your odyssey with her soon, if you haven't already. Assassin's Creed Odyssey gets 👍👍 from me.

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Slay the Spire - Aspire to Greatness

Available on: PC (reviewed)

The best part of any roguelike, in my opinion, is when you get just the right combination of mechanics to utterly wreck all of the things. In my time playing Slay the Spire this occurred on the second floor, whilst playing as The Defect. Now, The Defect uses orbs that have various abilities however my wombo-combo didn't count on them at all. The first part of my combo had actually been with me for a while - an attack card called Hyperbeam, which does a bunch of damage but weakens your aforementioned orbs. It also costs 2, which had previously been enough to make me second-guess using it.

The next part of my game-smashing combo was a relic called the Necronomicon. It cost me a fair bit of health to obtain but its passive ability was well worth it: the first 2+ cost attack played each turn is immediately played a second time at no additional cost.

The finishing touch was when I obtained another relic. This one was called Bottled Flame and it let me select one attack card to always be in my opening hand. Can you see where this is going?

A battle begins. Thanks to Bottled Flame, I open with Hyperbeam, which I spend 2 energy to use. With my current strength, this does 33 damage to ALL enemies. The Necronomicon kicks in and does ANOTHER 33 damage to any remaining enemies. Boom. 66 damage to all enemies and I even have 2 energy and 4 cards left over.

Slay the Spire is full of combos that feel way OP. It lets you have them, if you are lucky enough to stumble upon them. There's no "up to a maximum" or "does not stack with" hampering your schemes. Until the end of your current run, you might simply be overpowered and that feels awesome! And then your run ends. Back to square one. But, when square one is open to so many possibilities, it's a great place to be.

Slay the Spire gets a big ol' 👍 from me!

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Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - horsing around

Available on: Wii U, Switch (reviewed)

She is as stubborn as she is beautiful. Midnight black. Flowing hair. The equine epitome. I MUST TAME THIS HORSE.

I sneak up from a distance, jump on, and everything goes wrong. Bucking madly, she knocks me flying. I recover as quickly as possible, but she is away. I give chase.  She reaches the crest of a hill and slows to a trot. Thinking this my chance, I sprint as close as I dare and then drop to a crouch. Softly softly, catchy horsey.

Music kicks in and I realise my mistake. On the other side of this hill, a Guardian resides. The horse bolts and I am left to flounder. The Guardian locks onto me, and (in vain) I lob my sword at it. I try to run, but to no avail. One blast from the Guardian incinerates me. The horse, I realise, is lost to me.

My second attempt at horse-taming begins much more successfully. A pure-green horse with golden hair becomes my ally, after a bit of sneaking. I name him Kale and set off for the nearby stable to register him. At this point, I am about four hours into the game. I confidently trot up to the stables and request to register Kale. It surprises me when I hear that this costs 20 rupees. I have... One. Four hours into a Zelda game and I have a measly ONE rupee. I found it under a rock a short while ago.

Refusing to give Kale up (and worried that he might abscond the second I dismount) I set off on a horse-ridden quest for the remaining 19 rupees. Crossing a bridge, I see bokoblins attacking a fellow Hylian. Thinking my heroism might net me a reward, I vanquish the monsters. The traveller grumpily thanks me, but offers me nothing for my aid. Onwards I gallop. 

Eventually, I happen across another stable. They also want 20 rupees. No-one here will help me out, and I am just about to ride off when I spot him. A friend I first met on the blue seas of Wind Waker. Not the hero Hyrule deserved, but the one I needed. Beedle. I sell him some bits and some bobs... Et viola! I have enough rupees to register 20 horses! Kale becomes mine. 

It's easier to list my problems with Breath of the Wild rather than its successes. The former are few and the latter are legion. But here are my problems:

The gyroscopic puzzles.

That one quest where you have to follow a korok.

The "realistic" way horses too far away won't come to you.

The fact that (after an hour of hunting, sneaking and riding) the stable refuses to register a bear.

I've played 40 hours of BotW and I have not even gotten close to finishing any single element of the game. My map is half full, Ganon still reigns, many quests and trials yet remain. I don't have the Master Sword or a Hylian shield or hero clothes (I don't even know if the latter two are IN the game).

I love this game. It has the adventure of Wind Waker (my previous favourite Zelda game) and delivers on the "open air" nature that Nintendo promised. The world is free, changing and alive, and I truly love it. The puzzles are puzzling and the combat is cracking. The fact that weapons and shields break should be horrible, but I actually adore that it makes you try different (fantastic) combat options.

This is game design literally at its finest and I cannot recommend it enough. Whether you are a LoZ fan or not, you NEED to play this game. 👍 from me (obviously).

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Invisible, Inc. - Sneaky Blinders

Available on: Steam, iOS, PS4 (reviewed)

The alarm is level 4, and rising. Internationale, my crack agent, is stuck in the teleporter room. She is babysitting three unconscious guards, and if they wake up… Well, it’ll make extraction a lot more tricky. 

Another guard stumbles into the room and it all gets a little too much. I send the solemn Shalem 11 back to give her a hand. They take turns pinning down each of the guards to stop them waking up. Meanwhile, Banks is downloading vital data from the other side of the map.

Eventually, Banks is ready to head towards the teleporter. She steps out of the server room and gets about a quarter of the way before running out of action points. The enemy turn begins and things take a sudden turn for the worse. From nowhere a guard charges into the room Banks occupies. He immediately spots her and readies his gun. Banks has no ranged weapon and nowhere to hide. As I’m pondering how to survive this, another guard bursts into the teleporter room and spots Shalem 11. Damn.

My turn begins again and Internationale steps into action. She climbs off her currently pinned guard and steps behind the new foe. With one swift blow she knocks out the assailant. No time to rest, though; Banks is still in dire need of assistance. But she is half the map away!

I remember that Shalem has a rifle, which would help if it weren’t empty… Ah, Internationale has a charge-pack for it! She has just enough AP left to step over to Shalem and pass him the charge. Shalem rams the pack into his weapon, bursts through the door and by sheer chance has direct line of sight, 3 ROOMS AWAY, to take out Banks’ arrestor.

The kill raises the alarm further, and it takes another two turns for Banks to arrive at the teleporter room. The alarm reaches its max level (6) and the big guns get called in. They enter a room filled with unconscious guards just in time to see my three agents vanish. Mission accomplished.

Invisible Inc. is full of these nail-biting, skin-of-the-teeth moments. They seem to play out like the best scenes from Mission Impossible, even though what you are playing is an isometric tile/turn-based strategy game. I’ve played through the campaign a couple of times now, and I’m just itching to dive back in.

The truly wonderous thing is that each level is procedurally generated, yet they all WORK. They are rarely too hard or too easy, regardless of what agents, skills or items you have.

Changing your starting agents and hacking abilities mix things up nicely, and different difficulties and modes help keep things fresh as you play and unlock new agents and hacks.

I have lots of good things to say about Invisible Inc. and very few negative, so of course it is getting a 👍 from me. So much so that the console edition is one of my 3 2016 Gs of the Y!

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Watch_Dogs 2 - can you hack it?

Available on: xBox One, PC, PS4 (reviewed).  Lucky-G4mer ploughed his 4x4 into the side of our nemesis, Xsoundoffire. I didn't know what Xsoundoffire had done to warrant this bounty, but we were going to collect. I took the opportunity to leap off my motocross bike and yank out a grenade launcher. Lucky-G hacked Xsound's sportscar to stop him accelerating away and I scored a direct hit. The car burst into flames and Xsound bailed out. He started to sprint, but didn't get far. Lucky-G squashed him flat. We had won. And then I wandered off. The bounty had brought myself and Lucky-G together, but I had assumed completion would once again separate us. I was wrong. Fast-forward half an hour and Lucky-G and I are bouncing around riverside dunes on our bikes, silently challenging each other to long-jump challenges. We took selfies together, swapped bikes and decided to take the show on the road. Flying down the wrong side of the Golden Gate Bridge, we start to show off. Wheelies and near-misses grow tiresome so we start hacking the traffic. We played chicken with the oncoming traffic, hacking busses to swerve out of our way at the last second. Lucky-G had unlocked the boost perk, and began to pull ahead of me. Having none of this I hack a van to swerve left. It perfectly T-bones Lucky-G, who goes flying off his bike. I get a message: "You have been kicked for harming a Dedsec ally." Goodbye Lucky-G, I'll never forget our time together. The good: a vibrant, varied world full of excellent missions and sidequests; a reasonable amount of collectables; better driving than its predecessor. The bad: not enough skills to help in a stealth/non-lethal playthrough; hard to activate hacks whilst driving. Watch_Dogs gets a 👍 from me.

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No Man's Sky - can't take the sky from me

Available on: PS4 (reviewed); PC

I pick up the first Gravitino Ball and immediately all hell breaks loose. I was expecting to freak the local Sentinels out, but the Grabcrab (discovered and named by yours truly) surprises me. It nips me from behind, unfazed by the squadron of steel oppressors and their laser-based assault. I am thoroughly fazed, however, and subsequently leg it.

Alternating between running and jetpack-ing I dart from one Gravitino Ball to the next. I planned this route, and try not to panic each time I get zapped by a Sentinel laser. Grabcrabs and their larger cousins (Grobsterlobsters) mob around me each time I land, forcing me to recharge my exo-suit's shielding, but this halts me for long enough that I am overwhelmed. I very nearly succumb to the natives, but blast into the air just in time. I can see my ship. 

Hauling an inventory brimming with Orbs, a swarm of foes behind me, I plough into my ship. What a blue-and-white miracle. What a saving grace. What is this message? "Launch thrusters out of fuel". All I have on me are Gravitino Orbs and they don't make ships fly. I sit in my ship (it has some boring default name like "Dunchist 104H") and wait for my suit's shielding to recharge. Grabcrabs and Grobsterlobsters squeak at the cockpit. Mocking me with laughter...

My favourite activity in No Man's Sky is cataloguing each new planet's fauna. The scanner makes this a satisfying and simple enough task, except on the occasions where:

A) one particular animal is especially elusive - maybe it's a cave dweller, or just really-lesser-spotted.

B) your first knowledge of a new animal is its aggressive destruction of your behind. 

C) it's one of those damn birds that fly round in circles really unpredictably so you can't hold the scanning reticule over them for long enough and also the planet is really freaking hot so you keep having to run into a nearby shelter to cool down oh my gosh that was so frustrating and my reward was pretty measly considering I almost fried am I right? 

The starship flight is pretty basic both in and out of atmosphere, but it is thrilling boosting onto a new planet, or into a new spacebase. The combat in-ship is basic too, but it works well enough, much like the combat on-foot.  In fact, the whole game is pretty basic. Once you get into the flow of it, you will either find things relaxing or boring. If you enjoy the process of gradually building up your knowledge of a game's lore, there's plenty of that - and it's really well penned. If you like the repetition of mining (and sometimes crafting), there's plenty of opportunity for that.

Ultimately, I enjoy NMS because I love exploration. The joy of discovering bouncing mushrooms chasing after stunted veloceraptors is akin to nothing. But you have to want to explore. NMS suits me pretty well, so I'm giving it a 👍, but I understand that others might not see it so favourably. 

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Pokémon Go - Go, get out of my house.

Available on: Android (reviewed), iOS.  "Java Junction" is a Poké-stop by my flat. The cafe itself closed down years ago, but the picture on the stop's disk is of a more lucrative stage in the Junction's life. As I was spinning the disk something weird happened... An elderly lady decided to kiss me. She drew near enough for me to smell the alcohol on her breath and I instinctively put up an arm. I kept my composure as best I could, and explained (whilst still keeping her at elbow-length) that I was married, and therefore would not be kissing her today. She eventually left, and I hung back to catch Drowzees until she was an unstable figure in the distance. I could also tell you about the time I was out hunting for Pokémon when I spotted a kite swooping down to catch a mouse, then getting ambushed by a jealous crow mid-flight. Or I could tell you about how Pokémon Go rekindled the friendship that I shared with my sister fifteen years ago when we would watch Pokémon before school. Or maybe I could mention one of any number of times I've nodded to, spoken with and battled alongside complete strangers.  The point is that Pokémon Go is not a good game with noteworthy moments our ingenious mechanics. Pokémon Go is a social event. It is a wave of nostalgia, drenching every person it can. It is a call to the great outdoors. It is the kinship that you otherwise only get at conventions and concerts; a shared experience that means more than simply catching 'em all. The collecting is pretty random, the battles lack any whiff of nuance, the bugs are many and the variety is meager. Pokémon Go is not a good game, but it is a free experience that you are probably already involved with. You are probably already aware of team Mystic taking over all your local gyms. You are probably sick of the number of Zubats in your town. You probably have all the local Poké-stops memorised. So just launch the blooming app, go out, catch Pokémon, battle a gym and have a blast already. Pokémon Go is the worst game that will ever get a 👍 from me.

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Pocket Card Jockey - Neigh, I say.

Available on: Nintendo 3DS (exclusive)

I really enjoyed my first ten minutes with PoCaJoc (gotta race 'em all)! I was slightly overwhelmed by the different race phases and simplified solitaire and "energy" and "unity" and different types of cards and a button that you rub but don't seem to push (is it still a button then?), BUT PoCaJoc introduced it in a humorous way and I was willing to just get on and give it a go. And I did alright at first, winning a few and coming second in one. I levelled up my horse and earned some money and was STARTING to understand what was going on... 

When the game took away my horse. I got to choose a new one and I picked the one with the better stats. I jumped into a race with Thunder, eager to win some more... and I lost. I didn't really do anything differently, but other horses were bumping into poor Thunder a lot, and the numbers that occasionally filled the screen were lower now. I didn't stand a chance. The helpful horse guide popped up to tell me what I did wrong, and listed EVERYTHING. None of it was really my fault, I just got unlucky (this is a card game, after all). I was fine with this until a detestable NPC - Mr Blingin, the owner of my horse - showed up with his gold teeth and scolded me for losing. 

Okay, I thought, I'll get back on the horse. I lost again, and I wasn't really sure why. Mr Blingin came and threatened to take Thunder away if I lost again. I bought all the items I could from the shop. Raced again. And got second place.

That wasn't good enough. Mr Blingin fired me, took Thunder away and I was told I'd failed and kicked back to the menu screen.  Venturing back into the game I found out I had lost all my money and I now HAD to race with the other horse I hadn't picked (the one with worse stats), with no money or items. I optimistically called him "First Place".  By some miracle I won the first race. Nominative fallacy right there. 

Now let me tell you about the following race: Through luck, I managed to quickly clear the starting solitaire game with the best possible result (five unity orbs) in about two seconds. By happenstance, no other horses bumped into me. I managed to keep First Place in his optimal location and clear all games of solitaire, resulting in "SUPER UNITY" when I gained lots of cards and could plough through other horses. Going into the final stretch I was miles in the lead and the numbers were big and fiery. I had more boost cards than ever before! And another horse just came from nowhere and overtook poor First Place. Using all my boosts I couldn't catch up. Second place is a loss in this game, apparently.

I tried so hard and did so well. There was Japanese writing on the screen and the helpful horse guide told me how great I was and my unity was great and I just lost. Why? What did I do wrong? 

Look, I am clearly not great at PoCaJoc. But I play solitaire on my phone, and I'm an experienced gamer. I blamed the game for my losses time after time, and the game scolded me repeatedly. I can't recommend PoCaJoc because, despite its charm, I just didn't enjoy it. There was too much random luck. Pocket Card Jockey is the first game ever to get a 👎 from me.

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Overwatch - I've got a feeling somebody's watching me

Available on: PC, Xbox One, PS4 (reviewed)

With an almighty effort, the opposing forces have near to wiped out my own team. The payload is inches from its destination, but Bastion is in tank mode, there’s a level two turret on-guard and who knows what else is round the corner, stopping me from making that final push as the timer counts down into single-figures. 

Luckily, I am Tracer.

I run out into the road and instantly get shredded by bullets. Activating my ability I warp backwards in time, “let’s try that again,” Tracer voices. 

I triple-blink forwards across the open road this time. My teammates are too far away, so this is down to me. Running around the back of a building (ignoring the available health) I can see the payload. My teammates round the aforementioned corner just in time and I witness the entirety of the opposing force charge forward – and away from me. One of my blinks had recharged and in a split second I am on the payload. 

It begins to chug forward and everyone turns to me. In blind panic I hear no fewer than three ultimates being activated, but it’s too late. 

Victory.

And this is Overwatch. In this case, a lone hero making use of their unique abilities managed to make all the difference. As very nearly happened, though, a well coordinated team can push back and win a game from the brink of defeat.

In fact, most of the matches I have played have gone to overtime, with both teams frantically fighting for victory until the very last second.

And what a fight it is. With good players changing up their heroes throughout the match, the match dynamic is in constant flux. You are encouraged to switch it up, and on elimination you can make an educated guess as to what your team is missing. You might not be the hero you first want, but you can be the hero your team needs (which is usually Mercy).

Actually, I should probably mention how fun it is to play support in Overwatch. As with all other classes, each hero is utterly unique. I won’t bore you with a list of descriptions, but sufficed to say that there will be heroes that match your playstyle, and heroes which initially might not. But they are ALL fun. They are all satisfying, with a range of abilities that can be used in a variety of ways to help your allies and hurt your foes.

This brings me neatly on to my only gripe. The weekly special modes have so far presented three variations over the pre- and post-releases. “Girl Power” gives you only the option to select female heroes. This mixes things up nicely and highlights how well Blizzard have managed to diversify the cast of heroes. The latest (and the one available at launch) is “Arcade”, where abilities and ultimates charge faster and heroes have more health. It’s too frantic for newcomers, I think, but might give players the ability to try out the ultimates of more heroes. The problem I have is that the Open Beta’s “Random Hero” mode was so fantastic for me as a beginner that I think it should be included as standard.

This mode made you to play as a random hero (obviously) each time you were eliminated, which forced you to become familiar with other heroes. I was previously scared to try out more than a couple of heroes, but ended up finding some new favorites. The other benefit of this mode was that it ensured that more experienced/skilled players could not rest on their laurels and, for example, snipe all match long. It leveled the playing field somewhat.

I think it speaks volumes that my only concern with the game is that I want more of the things I’ve seen. Before I wrap up, I need to squeeze in how fantastic the level design is, so this is me saying that. Each map is specifically designed for a certain gamemode, and though this somewhat limits variety, it means that the levels themselves are exceptionally well tailored. I’ve yet to get lost, and the spawn points are carefully located so that you’re never too far away from the current action. 

I’m going to stop writing about Overwatch now (without even mentioning the clever ways the game lets the player in on backstory, or the great variety of unlockable loot), mainly because I want to go and PLAY it.

Overwatch gets a 👍, then I will rewind time so that it gets another 👍 from me.

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Fallout 4 - It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!

Available on: PC, Xbox One, PS4 (reviewed)

I had to scoff a Milurk Cake to get here. Trudging through the depths of the sea in my jetpack-equipped, flame red power armour, I remembered the Cake that I’d been hoarding for the last 50 hours. I shoved it down my gurgling gullet to survive the last few minutes of the subnautic journey and stomped on.

Emerging onto the shore, I was met initially by blissful silence. I would later find out that this was not the side of the island that one was supposed to have made land. This was not the correct path of progression.

I flipped a switch inside a semi-grounded ship (for no other reason than it was there *to be flipped*) and heard at once a bone-quaking roar. What had I triggered?

So you join me now as I peek my armoured skull over the lip of the ship, fearing that I know what will greet me. Last time I fought one of these things I was surrounded by fellow Minutemen, had trusty Cait at my side, and was able to unload centuries of cells into the beast from tactical vantage points. This time I am alone - hang on, where *is* Ada? No matter, this is between me and the Queen Milurk. 

She spits something toxic at me, but it splashes harmlessly off my steel body. My turn. Gauss Rifle already charging up I take aim. Flames erupt from her face as my incendantry bullet hits its mark.

I realise that I have a crit banked and ready to go, so without letting up I target the Queen’s mandibles.

Dead. 

Not quite one shot, one kill, but not half bad. How far this wasteland wanderer  has come.

And this is Fallout 4. Full of surprise encounters, mysterious places to freely stumble upon and a host of skills that help any wanderer progress from temperate tourist to destruction incarnate.

I jumped into F4 as a newcomer to the series. Yes, I was initially somewhat overwhelmed by everything the game gave me access to, but damn straight I should be overwhelmed; I was emerging from cryo-freeze to meet a post apocalyptic world! An encounter with a lone hound would terrify me, and leave me wounded. I scavenged any bits of food I could find, and rationed every morsel. The Commonwealth was big, and strange, and scary. 

It’s still big, strange and scary 50 hours in, but now I have to tools to stand and fight. I have the knowledge to use the wasteland to my tactical advantage. I have the friends to aid me.  I don’t care that the game is a little rough around the edges, because there are just so many edges! The breadth of the experience is so expansive that I am happy to just explore, create and kill.

Fallout 4 gets a big ol’ 👍 from me. 

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StarFox Zero - Eyes off the prize

Available on: Wii U (exclusive)

StarFox Zero provides a wide range of exciting land and air based fixed-path sequences with occasional branching routes and the odd free-moving area.

I loved each one I played, including the controversial gyro-copter “stealth” section. The pacing and ordering of stages leant itself well to keeping the player on their toes, stopping any particular part of gameplay from becoming stale. 

I have two big gripes, however. The first is relatively nitpicky so I will get it out of the way quickly. In a relatively slow-paced section I was tasked with taking control of a giant robo-ape before it reached a big old portal. Not massively difficult, but the lead-up was quite long-winded. After eventually hacking the ape I could then freely take out remaining enemies with the ape aiding me. It began following my gyro-copter and smashing baddies as I was told to enter the portal when ready. After a few minutes a cutscene presented itself showing my robo-sapien friend wandering into the portal of its own accord and I am greeted with a failscreen. I have to start way back. That’s just bad design, and sadly has stuck in my mind overriding many memories of more positive gameplay moments. 

The next issue is a bit more severe. I’m sure you’ve read by now of the innovative control system. It works, for the most part. As you play, your skills improve and the mastery you begin to feel is very genuine.

The controls are just wrong in boss battles. Let me explain. The TV shows the Arwing and its surroundings and is used to fly. Gamepad shows the targeting reticule and is used to shoot. When you enter a boss battle (or indeed press ZL at any point) you “lock on” with the camera. No, I should be more specific: you lock on with the WRONG camera. The TV locks the view to the enemy so you can’t see where you are flying. The Gamepad screen, however, stays facing forward so you aren’t able to aim your shots at the enemy. “Locking on” means you CAN’T FLY effectively and CAN’T SHOOT effectively. The absolute opposite action should occur when locking on - keep flying forward but aim the shots towards the baddies. I just don’t understand this control decision. It made any encounter where locking on was mandatory a complete misery (that’s almost every boss, by the way). I actually have further gripes with the final boss, but for fear of spoilers will not go into that. Sufficed to say I found the last boss to be the single worst part of the game. 

This review sounds somewhat negative, doesn’t it? The game is largely a success, I think. But I played through the campaign once (in about 4 hours) and having seen just half the levels I don’t actually know that I’ll go back to it. The negative points stick too prominently in my mind.

StarFox Zero gets a 👍👎 from me. 

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Lifeline - Help a (space) guy out?

Available on: Google Play (reviewed); AppStore

Sat in a dark corner of the Showbar, I huddle away from the abuse of children’s live entertainment and turn to the familiar comfort of my phone. I have a new message to check, which is notable because Wales is a digital black hole within which no phone signal can reach.

I realise, opening the app, that this isn’t a text but a message from Lifeline’s protagonist, Taylor - a Science student stranded on a distant, desolate moon following the crash of his host spaceship. 

I quickly become engaged with Taylor’s heartfelt communication, which manages throughout to be both moving and humorous. 

Taylor’s messages paint an excellent picture of his current situation and disposition whilst remaining succinct, ensuring it is possible (and recommended) to check in with him briefly and frequently. 

Current is the operative word, as you aren’t just a reader here. Taylor needs help and support throughout this experience, and reacts in a manor that simulates real time; suggest that Taylor takes some time to rest up, for example, and you won’t hear back from him for a while. This waiting really piles on the tension in places.  

Occasionally Taylor will require help in the form of research-based advice; should he camp out next to that reactor giving out 150 rads of warmth? These interactions add an excellent sense of realism to the story - I had to steel myself the next morning to check on Taylor and find out whether the radiation had been too much. Unfortunately, these type of interactions are rare and the majority are more hunch-based (Should Taylor walk clockwise or anti-clockwise around this crater? Pop a pain-pill now or save it?). 

Ultimately, Lifeline provides a wonderful and engaging narrative presented in a novel fashion. The real charm of the game is in Taylor’s personality, and though he can be a bit grumpy at times (he IS stranded out in space after all), his communications are mostly endearing with just the right amount of self-referential sarcasm. 

The story itself twists a fair bit over the few days the game runs for, and though it would have been nice to have some of my decisions come back in more meaningful ways, I had a very good time with Taylor.  

Lifeline gets a 👍 from me.