1-800-hot-n-fun! â
bambi àł black, any pronouns, 22đź carrd
requests: open!
recent works; somethingâs missing guilty pleasure

@theartofmadeline
Three Goblin Art

titsay
KIROKAZE

Discoholic đȘ©

JVL
tumblr dot com
hello vonnie
No title available

â

oozey mess

Janaina Medeiros
Sweet Seals For You, Always
No title available

pixel skylines
Jules of Nature
styofa doing anything
noise dept.
h
we're not kids anymore.
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Morocco

seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia

seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from Singapore
seen from Canada

seen from Brazil
seen from United States

seen from Belgium
@zhongfile
1-800-hot-n-fun! â
bambi àł black, any pronouns, 22đź carrd
requests: open!
recent works; somethingâs missing guilty pleasure
all the nct writers leaving tumblr NOOOOOOOO
daddyâs girl
pairing â dilf!jaehyun x (f) reader (ft. bf!jaemin)
genre .. warnings â smut, age gap (18+), unprotected sex, stepcest, underaged drinking, toxic relationship, reader is barely 18, this is like extremely gross donât say you werenât warned
summary â jaehyun has been your stepdad since you were maybe thirteen or fourteen. at first, you didnât want anything to do with him - not to go to his and your momâs wedding, not to move to his state, and definitely not to live in his house. you had convinced yourself that all men were the same. but jaehyun was nothing like the father that had abandoned you at the worst possible time and left you to deal with your emotionally unavailable mother. he was kind, sweet, caring. and as you grow older, you find yourself falling for the one person you should never, under any circumstances, want.
wc â 20k
a/n â my first real fic all year đ„č as always, feedback is appreciated!
donât like it, donât read.
for as long as you could remember, you had never been particularly fond of your boyfriendâs friends.
they were outright obnoxious, and even that was you being kind and considerate. their voices boomed loudly and their laughter rang out, and the demeaning remarks they made too often to be mere jokes always made you a little uncomfortable.Â
though they knew better than to make any lewd comments about you, at least. most of them were about a pretty girl wandering the party, or their girlfriend of the week. but you werenât dumb. you saw the way they looked at you every now and then, judging you. scorning you. tearing you apart.Â
no comments were spoken squarely to your face, but you knew they were conjured. it made you wonder what they said to jaemin when you werenât there on his lap, and you wondered if he chimed along.Â
thick clouds of smoke loomed in the stuffy air, making it difficult to breathe. you coughed into your fist, feeling your throat itch. honest to god, you had absolutely no clue how they smoked that shit. the one time jaemin had coaxed you into putting a joint to your mouth, you had thought you were dying.
haechan said something that abruptly made the group of boys burst into laughter. you jolted, lifting your head from jaeminâs shoulder. he tightened his arm, which was looped around your back, holding you against him. âjaem?â you whispered.Â
âhm?â
you were reluctant to say anything, knowing how he would likely respond, but you didnât want to be here anymore. âcan we go somewhere else?â
jaemin exhaled through his nose. you knew he didnât want to leave. to him, these nights with his friends were harmless little exploits that made his life a little easier.Â
it didnât help that he was already annoyed with you. when he swung by earlier to pick you up, he looked you up and down, and the first thing to leave his mouth was a disgruntled, âwhy do you always dress so childishly?â
you had never thought of your bright colors and cute patterns as inherently childish. matter of fact, the cute, brown top with stitched teddy bears you were wearing was one of your favorite shirts.Â
âwhy do you want to leave?â jaemin asked softly, gently rubbing your back in hopes of soothing you.Â
âitâs too noisy,â you complained, peering up at him.
jaemin could have rolled his eyes. fuckâs sake, it was a party. obviously, it wasnât going to sound like a prayer hall. âif you smoked a little, it wouldnât bother you.â
âi donât like smoking.â
âthatâs because youâre not used to it, baby,â jaemin reasoned.Â
âi donât want to get used to it,â you mumbled. âyou guys all pass around the same joint. youâve basically kissed each other. which means that when you kiss me, iâm kissing all of them.â
jaemin groaned, âyouâre so dramatic, you know that, sweetheart? itâs just a joint.â
âcan you please just take me home?â you pleaded. between the rings of smoke hanging over you and the resounding thud of music and the cacophony of loud voices, you felt like you were suffocating.
jaemin was silent for a few moments, jaw tight. something tightened in your chest, recognizing the look on his face as something angry. before you could change your mind, jaemin pushed you off his lap, watching you scramble onto your feet, and spoke, âgonna call it a night early, gang. my special princess over here is too good to hang with us.â
mark groaned. haechan rolled his eyes. jeno snickered, not so discreetly looking at your legs, and said, âbye, princess.â
jaemin flipped him off and guided you away, murmuring, âcome on, baby.â his hand was on the small of your back.
the two of you pushed past the bundle of people partying in the main room, which was easier with your tall, respected boyfriend in tow. your shoulders relaxed when you were outside. you were happy to be breathing in the fresh air rather than smoking and doing whatever else people could get their hands on.
jaemin opened the door on the passenger side of his car, letting you climb inside. by the time you were on the road, his hand was on your thigh.
you didnât mind that. jaemin was a very touchy boyfriend and he always had his hands all over you. the attention was something you needed, something you craved. it was just safe enough to make you feel wanted within the boundaries of your control.
but then, after maybe ten or fifteen minutes, his hand started to move. you tore your gaze from the window down to the motion on your lap, stomach churning as you sensed his hands slipping further and further. then, your eyes went up to his face. his eyes were on the road, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.
everyone was nervous about losing their virginity. everyone was scared of firsts. but for you, it was a little more than that. you werenât scared of what happened during the act; you were terrified of what came after.
would jaemin still want you after you gave him what heâd been coveting? would he come back for more? could you meet his expectations, compare to the fantasies heâd crafted in his mind and had been hoping to enact?
you couldnât know for sure. once you gave him what he wanted, you had nothing to keep him around anymore; nothing to rein him back in after the night was over. and the last thing you wanted was to be alone again. it had been okay, the ice, the nip, when it was all youâd ever known, but now that you had known how it felt to be warm, you didnât want to remember how it felt to freeze.
âjaemin,â you called out softly. âwhat are you doing?â
ânothing, baby,â jaemin lied sweetly, feigning innocence. all the while, his hand was continuing to move up your leg. slowly, but surely.Â
when he got too close, you decided that you were more than a little uncomfortable and gingerly pushed his hand away, as if not to upset him. âbabe, i donât think thatâs a good idea.â
jaemin forced a smile, and somehow, that was more unnerving than if he had screamed at you, exasperated. âgoddamn it, woman,â he murmured. âyou already dragged me away from my friends. the least you could do is make it worth it.â
you swallowed, guilt hitting you like a punch in the chest. but the anxious stirring in your stomach was a thousand times worse, a million times louder, and potent tenfold. âiâm sorry,â was all you could bring yourself to say.Â
jaemin scoffed, refusing to look at you. which was probably not so bad, all things considered. âyeah, you should be,â he grumbled.Â
your eyes watered, but you looked out the window and tried to think of happier, kinder times. you didnât want to cry, not until you were alone where no one could see. you hated crying in front of others. it was embarrassing. to say nothing of the fact that whenever jaemin reduced you to tears, he called you a crybaby, and heâd already made you feel childish enough.
the rest of the drive home was silent, save for the sound of the wind blowing through your hair and the occasional honking; your only refuge in the midst of your struggle to be the perfect girlfriend. the cool night breeze calmed you, soothed you, and traffic felt familiar. it was oddly comforting, being stuck between two things with nowhere to go.Â
a feeling you knew all too well.Â
the only downside was that the longer you stayed there, hardly moving, the longer you had to pretend everything was okay and try desperately not to sob.
it felt like forever before you were finally back home. you immediately got out of the car, having assumed that jaemin wanted nothing more to do with you right now.Â
to your surprise, he sighed and willed himself to get out of the car, walking you to your front door.Â
you peered up at him, trying to read his face, trying to understand where he was at and where you had pushed him. âare you mad at me?â you asked timidly, as if you didnât truly want to know the answer.
jaemin took his time to answer, exhaling quietly. âno, baby,â he said after a moment. âiâm not mad. but you canât avoid sex forever, you know. thatâs what people do. itâs natural.â
he said it so outrightly, so bluntly. as if it was really, truly just another thing that everyone did, that had no risk and no consequence. you admired his fearlessness sometimes, wondering how his life had unfolded for him to be so bold, and realized you knew very little about him. âi know,â you whispered.Â
jaemin reached for your hand, tenderly brushing his fingers over your knuckles. âbut?â
you released a shaky breath. jaemin understood you, some ways better than others. he may have been completely clueless in some regards, but your body language was not one. shy, you confessed, âbut iâm scared.â
âwhy are you scared?â jaemin asked, keeping his voice soft and level. âdo you not trust me, sweetheart?â
âno, i do,â you replied, though you werenât entirely sure if that was true or not. âbut what if itâs not what youâre expecting?â
jaemin chuckled, as if that was absurd. âbaby, relax,â he whispered, leaning down to kiss your forehead. âyou could never disappoint me.â
your eyes got a little wider, a little starrier, watching him as if he was your whole world. âare you sure?â
âyeah, iâm sure, baby,â he told you, pressing a final kiss to your lips. âgoodnight, sweetheart.â
âgoodnight,â you whispered, watching him slowly start to back away. âtext me when you get home.â
jaemin bobbed his head in acknowledgment and started to walk back to his car.
you unlocked the front door of your house, hoping to god your mother wasnât somewhere lounging around or smoking. your stepfather didnât enjoy when she smoked inside the house, but he was gone for the weekend. which, to her, meant his rules didnât matter.
there was no sight of your mother when you walked into the house. but you blinked in surprise when you saw your stepfatherâs favorite coat hanging on the rack in the foyer. you didnât know people actually had those until you moved in with him.
jaehyun was in the kitchen, his sleeves rolled up halfway to his shoulders, drinking coffee out of a mug youâd designed for his birthday when you were roughly fourteen. it was stupid and kind of ugly, but the fact that he still drank from it, even after four years, warmed your heart.
âdaddy?â you called, stunned. you werenât expecting him to be here for another day.Â
âhey, doll,â jaehyun greeted, setting down his mug for a second. âyou look surprised.â
you nodded your head. compared to what you heard in endless amounts of fiction, jaehyun didnât go on many business trips. one a month, usually, for less than three days. âi thought you were coming back tomorrow?â
âwe were able to wrap things up early,â jaehyun explained briefly. he didnât like to bore you with the details of his job, though you often asked him about it, which was somewhat endearing.
âoh,â you mumbled. you tried not to show how happy you were. most times when you were alone here with your mother, you tried to go out as much as you possibly could, which was the only reason you had agreed to hang out with jaemin and his friends tonight.Â
âyeah.â jaehyunâs eyes flitted over your body, making you feel a little self-conscious. he would habitually remember to pick up his mug and wince at how hot his coffee was. âyou look cute.â
you blinked. jaehyun always complimented the way you dressed, often reminding you how cute and beautiful you were. you wished your boyfriend was more like that. âthanks,â you replied, coming over to hug him.
jaehyun set his mug down again and threw his arms around you, gentle as ever. but he smelled something on you that he didnât exactly love. âyou went out with that boy again, didnât you?â
âhow did you know?â
âyou smell like weed,â he answered bluntly.Â
your cheeks burned. the smell had followed you home, clinging to you. you didnât notice it on yourself, but you knew how much he hated it. âi didnât smoke,â you told him. âi was just next to them.â
jaehyun chuckled. he knew that. you hated the mere smell of smoke, always scrunching up your face whenever it stuck to your mother or whatever spot sheâd chosen to get high at. âyou donât need to explain yourself to me, doll. i know you.â
you nodded, even more embarrassed. reluctantly, you pulled away and sat on the barstool next to him. it was late and you were kind of sleepy, exhausted of having to try so hard, but you wanted to talk to him.
ironically, it was silent for a moment as jaehyun sipped his coffee and you tried to think of what to say. jaehyun spoke first, mentioning offhandedly, âi donât like your boyfriend.â
you sighed, resting your head against the island. âi donât really like him, either.â
that threw jaehyun off. âso why are you still dating him?â
âi donât know,â you huffed.
jaehyunâs eyes were fixed on you, wanting to get to the bottom of it and willing to confront the issue that you werenât. you had no business staying in a relationship you werenât content with. âis he threatening you?â he asked.
your shot up, eyes widening. âno, heâs not making me date him.â
if anything, that only served to make jaehyun even more alarmed, and he pressed, âwhat is he making you do?â
âheâs not making me do anything,â you replied quietly, knowing that wasnât the best way to put it. âitâs just that⊠he wants to have sex.â
âand you donât?â jaehyun finished for you. the topic didnât make him feel awkward or uncomfortable, even if you were, by law, his daughter. he was the one person in the world you could talk to about anything and everything without fear, and he took great pride in that.
you shrugged, repeating, âi donât know.â
âwell, you gotta know something, baby,â jaehyun teased. âdo you, or do not you?â
ignoring the way the pet name made you feel, you tried to think about it, hard. âi mean, heâs cute. and heâs nice enough most of the time,â you murmured, engrossed in thought. âbut i guess i donât really trust him that much yet. and i donât want to give my body to someone i donât trust.â
jaehyun hummed in understanding. âyou know thatâs not a bad thing, right?â
you sighed, shoulders slumped. âi guess.â
jaehyun placed his hand on your cheek, his touch feather light, as if you had a fragile warning on your forehead. âyou can do so much better than him,â he whispered. âi know youâre going to do whatever you want at the end of the day, but as your father, iâm going to look out for you.â
but could you do any better? jaemin was your first boyfriend in years. maybe he wasnât perfect, but he was better than all the failed talking stages youâd been through. if you held onto the good memories, the ones like only a moment ago where he held you tenderly and touched you with affection, you could bear the hurt.
but there was nothing like that with jaehyun. the way he touched you now, his hand on your face, was something you could always expect. âthank you for that.â
jaehyun shook his head. âyou donât need to thank me. itâs what iâm supposed to do.â
no, you have no obligation to do that, you thought to yourself, bemused. for nearly five years, he had been going above and beyond for you, treating you as if you were his very own daughter. you couldnât understand it.Â
but you appreciated it. you appreciated everything. the way he reminded you how beautiful you were, the way he spent time with you even when he was exhausted, the way he listened to your problems and told you everything was going to be okay. without him, you would be so much more broken.Â
but you didnât let your thoughts wander there. it was too much suppressed pain that you werenât ready to uncover. âdaddy, are you tired?â
jaehyun shrugged. ânot really. i probably wonât go to sleep until around two. why?â
âdo you want to watch a scary movie with me?â you asked, hopeful. yearnful.Â
jaehyun could see it in your eyes. he had learned to become very good at reading you after so long, though youâd always worn your emotions on your face. especially when you were thinking. it was very hard for you to lie. chuckling at the thought, he replied, âwhy not?â
you smiled, removing his hand from your face to slip your fingers through his as you hopped off the barstool, and led him to the living room.
the two of you settled on a nightmare on elm street and you went on to complain about how much you disliked eighties horror, much to jaehyunâs amusement. he tried to remind you that the technology and equipment available decades ago wasnât the same as in the current age, but you didnât budge.
apparently, you found the movie so boring that you fell asleep watching young johnny depp get devoured by a mattress. your head was on jaehyunâs shoulder, the couch blanket draped over you as you snored softly.
when you woke up, you were in your bed, cocooned inside your comforter instead and surrounded by stuffed dolls as birds chirped outside your window and the morning breeze whistled through the air.
none of which you had time to enjoy or even perceive, because the thing that had jolted you awake was the sound of a fist banging against your bedroom door. you groaned and willed yourself to climb out of bed, grumbling something underneath your breath, and threw the door open exasperatedly.
your mother was standing there in her robe, eyes red. âwhy didnât you wash dishes?âÂ
you fought a groan. that was the first thing to come out of her mouth? really? âwasnât aware i was supposed to,â you said groggily.
clearly, that wasnât a satisfactory answer. âi donât want to wake up to a dirty kitchen. weâve been over this.â
you could have rolled your eyes at that. then, clean it up yourself, you retorted in your head. it wasnât like you had made the mess. âyou cooked while i wasnât here and i didnât have any.â i didnât think i needed to clean up after you.
âthat doesnât mean shit,â she snapped. âyou donât have a job, you donât do anything around the house. you need to take some responsibility.â
with that, your mother turned and walked away.Â
you closed the door and exhaled through your nose, trying to calm yourself. you had been awake for less than five minutes and she had already managed to piss you off.
and over the most ridiculous thing. it couldnât have been that hard to clean up after herself instead of trying to make it your problem. maybe you didnât have a job, but she didnât either. and the only reason you apparently didnât do anything around the house was because you never did anything to destroy it in the first place.
and because you very rarely left your room when your mother was there. something about her presence left you on edge. there were many times you went hungry just because you didnât want to pass her in the living room on the way to the kitchen for a snack. for as long as you could remember, the familiar sound of her bracelets rattling and her sandals tapping the floor had made your heart race.
in the middle of trying to undo your frustration, you thought of something. you had woken up in bed, even though youâd most definitely fallen asleep on the couch with jaehyun, and you had no memory of making the journey upstairs.Â
which meant heâd carried you.
your heart fluttered. something about that thought - the thought of a bigger, stronger man carrying you - did unspeakable damage to your brain. you knew he was your stepfather, knew it was wrong, but you couldnât help but picture what else he could do with all that strength.Â
it was also worth mentioning that you were very vulnerable when you were just lying there innocently, asleep. he could have done anything to you if he wanted. if only he had wanted it.
almost the whole day had passed when, to your surprise, you had gotten a text from jaemin inviting you to hang out with him again. you had assumed heâd want time to himself after last night. but you wasted no time in getting ready, doing something different with your usually dolly makeup, and putting on a miniskirt to seem a little more mature.
you had been close to walking out of the front door, hurriedly walking past jaehyun and your mother who were sitting in the living room, until you heard your mother say, âcome back. now.â
you slowly grinded to a halt, muttering annoyances to yourself, and forced a smile as you spun on your feet. âyes, mother dearest?â
âwhere the hell are you going at this time of night looking like a whore?â she asked, snappy.
you tried to take that in stride, but it was hard. she never failed to hurt your feelings.
your mother didnât even give you the opportunity to respond before she demanded, âtake that off.â
you stood your ground. âno.â
your mother looked at you like she wanted to lunge at you. ever since you had turned eighteen, which wasnât even that long ago, you had gotten bolder. âif you leave wearing that, youâre just begging for it. donât come crying to me if something happens.â
your eyes stung. how could she say something like that?
jaehyun made a face and put a hand on her shoulder, trying to stop her before she went too far. âdoll,â he said to you, taking over. âi know youâre an adult now, but we still want you to be safe. i donât know where youâre going, but i donât trust this world enough to honor that wish. can you change, please? for me?â
switching on a dime, you replied meekly, âokay, daddy,â and went back upstairs to change your skirt.
your mother gawked in disbelief. then her expression flashed to anger. âwhy does she listen to you and not to me?â
âyou called her a whore,â jaehyun replied, unsurprised. âi wouldnât have listened, either.â
âi said she looked like one.â
jaehyun sighed. âthat doesnât make it any better. you know sheâs sensitive. either way, you shouldnât have said that.â
your mother said nothing, sulking. in her mind, it didnât matter the delivery. she was your mother and she didnât enjoy being disrespected.
the skirt you changed into was a little longer, at the least halfway down your thighs. you had been quick to change, grateful your bed was still littered in pile of skirts youâd handpicked (and would unfortunately have to clean later), and rushed outside to slide into the passenger seat of jaeminâs car.
the party he took you to tonight was better than the last one, at least. there were probably still people smoking and partying hard, but jaemin had you in the kitchen, where thankfully few people were.
jaemin handed you one of two red plastic cups with some kind of liquid in them. âhere you go, baby.â
though you accepted the cup, you looked at it with scrunched brows, then back up at him. âwhat is this?â
âa mix of things,â jaemin replied with extreme vagueness. âjust try it, sweetheart.â
you didnât question him, just turning the cup up like it was juice, which you quickly realized couldnât have been further from the truth. you grimaced, ears and throat burning, and put a hand on your chest. âwhat the fuck?â
jaemin furrowed his brows, feigning innocence. âyou donât like it?â
you shook your head. youâd had alcohol before, a few times when you were maybe fifteen and had sneakily took a shot of tequila from your momâs pantry, but you had grown out of that. plus, you were still underaged in terms of drinking. âno, it burns,â you complained. âiâm not supposed to drink anyway.â
âyou have such a stick up your ass,â jaemin teased, taking the cup from you and throwing back a gulp like it was nothing. he was only a year older than you, nineteen, and had no business drinking, either.
you shook your head in disapproval, though you knew it probably wasnât much worse than him smoking.
âhere,â he said, giving you the other cup he had been holding. this one was clear. âtry this one. i think youâll like it.â
you were reluctant, considering how much you disliked the first one heâd given you, but with how expectantly he was looking at you, you grabbed the cup and took a tentative taste. your eyes widened. it tasted like juice.Â
jaemin chuckled at your reaction. âgood, right?â
you nodded, taking another sip. which became another, and another, until your head started to feel a little woozy. by the time you started to recognize it, you were already more than tipsy.
jaemin hoisted you into his arms like it was nothing and sat you atop the counter, draping his hands over your exposed thighs. âyou look so pretty today,â jaemin mused aloud, admiring your skirt. âyou get all cute for me?â
âyeah,â you murmured, eyes fluttering. it was all you could do to keep them open and suddenly, you wanted to go to bed.
âsleepy drunk, arenât you?â jaemin asked, moving his hands to your waist to keep you upright. âjenoâs room is upstairs. wanna go to bed, baby?â
you did, but certainly not here. you were drunk, not stupid. with you and him alone in a closed bedroom, there was no telling what all he would and wouldnât do. and the fact that it belonged to jeno only strengthened your hesitation.
âno, itâs okay,â you told him, shaking your head softly. you gingerly pushed yourself off the counter and onto your feet. âiâm gonna go to the bathroom.â
jaemin grabbed your hand, not wanting to let you loose just yet. âlet me help you.â
âitâs okay,â you repeated, brushing him off. your heart thudded, nervous. âstay here.â
jaemin begrudgingly let you go, watching you disappear in the crowd with his jaw set. you just always managed to evade him, didnât you?
you stumbled a little at first, but found your balance, making your way through the flock of other drunk partygoers. you gripped the railing for dear life as you climbed up the stairs, searching for the bathroom.
it was by the grace of god that you were able to find it and lock yourself inside without walking in on a couple trying to touch and feel on each other. you sighed in relief, digging around your bag for your phone. you had to get out of here, now.
with two incorrect attempts, you were able to enter your password and immediately went to your contacts, dialing the one person you knew you needed at a time like this. the one person who you could trust would be there for you no matter what.
jaehyun picked up on the second ring, answering, âhello?â
âdaddy?â
even if it was only one word, jaehyun could hear in your tone that something wasnât right. âyes, doll? is something wrong?â
âi think i messed up,â you murmured, grabbing onto the sink counter to stabilize yourself.
jaehyunâs brows stitched with worry, even if you couldnât see. âwhat did you do? are you okay? are you hurt?â
âi donât feel so good right now,â you replied, feeling drowsy. âi drank and i shouldnât have, and⊠can you just come pick me up? please.â
you heard shuffling in the background, like he was already moving. âsend me your location.â
fifteen minutes later, give or take, jaehyun called you and told you that he was outside.
you grabbed your phone and unlocked the bathroom door, heading straight for the stairs and making a beeline for the front door, wanting to leave before jaemin could spot you and do more damage. the second you saw your stepfatherâs car, you hurried over, nearly tripping over your own legs.
thankfully, you were able to get inside his car without any problems, shutting the door and dragging the seatbelt over you.
jaehyun glanced at you, relieved to see that you were in one piece, but still worried. âare you okay?â
you nodded your head, sighing in relief just as the seatbelt clicked. âiâm okay,â you said, quiet. âthank you.â
jaehyun knew he should have been scolding you for drinking when you were only eighteen, but he was more concerned about your wellbeing at the moment. âwhy were you drinking?â he asked softly.
you swallowed, knowing he wasnât going to like the answer, but you had to be honest. âjaemin gave me a cup and told me to try it.â
jaehyun exhaled, starting the car. if you were going to talk about jaemin, it was best that he was far, far away from wherever he was. âheâs no good for you, you know that?â
you turned away and looked out the window, eyes watering.Â
jaehyun glanced over for a split second and reached out with his right hand, his left one gripping the wheel. âi donât mean to make you cry, baby. but you know iâll never lie to you.â
âi know,â you whispered, trying to fight the tears. god, you hated how you couldnât control them, how they fell at any minor inconvenience and there was nothing you could do to stop them.Â
he would never understand; no one could. the reason you went back to jaemin even though you knew in your heart of hearts that he was just another boy that would never love you. hell, you hardly understood yourself. it was fair, considering you couldnât say that you loved him either, but you felt something.Â
and it was this unidentified something that kept you tied to him like a knot rather than severing the bond. you didnât love him, no, you hardly trusted him, but you liked him enough. he was your second best.Â
though jaehyunâs eyes were on the road, he still had a tender hand on yours, squeezing it firmly. âwhy do you keep hurting yourself like this, doll? youâre too smart to be fooling around with boys like that.â
âheâs all i have,â you said, your voice feeble.Â
jaehyunâs brows furrowed, confused. âthatâs not true. you have me, you have your mom, and you have tons of friends and family that love you. what makes you feel like heâs all you have?â
family i feel disconnected from, friends i only show half of myself to, and an emotionally unavailable mother who wants to control my whole life, you thought with a resentment you had been nursing for years.Â
you swallowed it down, even though it was bitter and lingered on your tongue, and answered softly, âbecause sometimes, when heâs not angry, when heâs not smoking or drinking or trying to hook up, when heâs listening to me and looking at me like i mean something to him, i get to feel like he loves me.â
jaehyun didnât skip a beat. âand how many times is that, baby?â
that hit you like the ceiling crashing down on your chest. all your life, you had just wanted somebody to love you. you had just wanted to feel like you mattered to someone and you had gone through great lengths just to hear it from another personâs mouth. you had always tried.
the only person in the world you never had to try with was your stepfather. the man had gone out of his way, since you were thirteen years old, to treat you like his own. at first, you had wanted nothing to do with him - not to go to his and your motherâs wedding, not to move to his state, and most definitely not to live in his house. you had convinced yourself from a young age that all men were the same.
but jaehyun was nothing like the father that had abandoned you just when you needed him most and left you to deal with your mother who was incapable of expressing any affection to you in a normal, healthy manner. jaehyun was kind, sweet, loving. he was patient with you, spent quality time with you, spoiled you with gifts and listened to your problems.Â
all things your father did when you were a little girl, when everything had been okay, once upon a time.Â
it was only natural that you found yourself gravitating towards him more often than not, wanting to be around him, wanting to hear his voice, wanting to hold him and spend every waking moment with him. and it was only even more natural that eventually, your heart began to flutter around him.Â
but you suppressed it, because you werenât that dumb. you knew there were no chances of him reciprocating your feelings, not when he loved you with the love of a father. but the nipping void inside you was still there, and it had never felt more empty.Â
you knew it would be a bad idea to look at jaehyun, so you kept your eyes fixed on the gleaming towers and lights shimmering on the water as he crossed a bridge. âi know it doesnât make sense,â you willed yourself to respond. âit doesnât make sense to me, either.â
for a moment, jaehyun was silent. he may not have understood, but he wanted to deliver his words in the right way. in the end, he chose compassion. âfeelings donât always make sense, especially not right away, and especially not when youâre young and experiencing them for the first time. but that doesnât mean you have to let them control you.â
arms crossed, you grumbled, âeasier said than done.â
âi know it is, doll,â jaehyun whispered. âi know it is.â
something in his tone made you finally turn to face him. your eyes glimmered and you begged, âplease, donât tell mom.â
jaehyun looked conflicted, like he was weighing his options, but he knew what the most effective choice would be. âi wonât, but you canât keep doing stuff like this, kiddo. it worries me.â
if there was anything you hated, it was that pet name. âiâm not a kid. iâm eighteen.â
âand thirty days,â jaehyun added dryly.
he said that like it meant something. you retorted, âwhat, are you keeping track?â
âiâm just good at quick math.â
you scoffed. it was probably true, considering all the things you saw him calculating when it came to complicated business things you never understood, but that didnât make it any better. âokay. how old are you?â you asked knowingly.Â
âthirty-nine.â
âwhatâs thirty-nine minus eighteen?â
âtwenty-one,â jaehyun answered without any forethought.
more than twice my age. you knew that. not that it was hard to figure out, but that wasnât the point. at some point, you had become obsessed with those numbers, crafting a delicate list of reasons why it could never work with your stepfather. the age gap, the marriage, the this and the that.Â
but on the other hand, none of those things really mattered to you. you may have still been young, but you were an adult now. a legal adult.Â
âbesides,â jaehyun continued, seemingly unaware of where your mind had wandered. âiâll always worry about you, no matter how old you are.â
your heart did exactly what you didnât want it to do, what you had been trying to fight against for god knows how long now; it soared.Â
if you werenât regretting your night enough already, you definitely were by the time you went inside the house, realizing everything you had to do before you dropped into bed. âgod, i have to shower and take off my makeup,â you grumbled, walking with a stammer.Â
jaehyun kicked his shoes off by the door and grabbed your hand, lest you fell and hurt yourself. âiâll help you.â
your eyes flickered in surprise. âyou donât have to do that.â
âitâs okay,â jaehyun replied, already steering you upstairs. âyou need some guidance.â
you didnât know what he meant by that, or maybe you did and you were simply in denial, but you didnât ask.Â
sitting you atop the counter in your bathroom, jaehyun picked out the pack of makeup wipes that were already sitting there and gently began to wipe your face, pushing a stray braid behind your ear. he seemed focused, eyes squinting and his thicks brows furrowing.
you were focused too, watching him intently the entire time. it was difficult to ignore the way your heart raced when he got so close, the way your body seared with heat when he touched your cheek. it wasnât necessarily even affectionately, which only served to make you more disappointed in yourself.
but sometimes, when you were staring hard enough, much like right now, you noticed more than just how handsome he was. you noticed the little scrunch of his brows when he was concentrating, you noticed the way his chest rose and fell as he breathed. when it was as quiet as it was right now, you could even hear his breathing almost as subtle as the faint scent of cologne on him that had worn throughout the day.
maybe it was somewhat obsessive, but you didnât do it on purpose. jaehyun made it easy to tune the world out and ignore everything that wasnât him.
after washing your face, jaehyun grabbed you something to wear and asked, âneed anything else, doll?â
âno, daddy. iâve got it,â you replied, grabbing a towel for your shower. the water was running behind the curtains. âthank you.â
jaehyun grinned softly and bent down to press his lips to your forehead in a tender kiss. âgoodnight, baby,â he whispered.
âgânight, daddy.â
the door closed. you hated knowing that you were alone, that he wasnât right there with you. at times, you got tempted to do things you used to do when you were younger, crawling into bed with him in the middle of the night, but it wouldnât be appropriate. no matter how much you hated being separated.
you usually liked to milk time with him for all that it was worth, especially because he was always working. you stole the seat beside him at the dinner table, you watched him mend items in the house, and you spent a lot of time on the couch of his study when he was taking calls and doing paperwork.Â
once you had gotten redressed after your shower, you slipped into bed with a sigh. there was always tomorrow.
the cereal boxes were pushed too far back again.Â
you couldnât reach them. even standing on your tippy toes, waving your hand aimlessly in hope of even scraping the damn corner of a box of cinnamon toast crunch, they were just too far. âugh,â you whined, irritated.
jaehyun watched. his eyes were less on your challenging endeavor and more on the swell of your ass peeking from underneath your tiny nightgown as you rose off the heels of your feet onto your toes, noticing the way it jiggled when you stood normally again. there was a pang of guilt in his chest, watching you like that, but at the end of the day, jaehyun was just a man.
âiâll get it,â jaehyun insisted, standing up from the bar to swing over without even having to ask which one you wanted. he routinely saw you only eat the same cereal.
you thanked him when he grabbed the box of cinnamon toast crunch and placed it securely into your hands. walking over to the counter where the milk and bowl were waiting, you noticed jaehyun come up behind you. at first, you thought he was just watching for whatever reason, so you ignored the thud in your chest at his proximity and poured the cereal.Â
then, you carefully grabbed the milk, not wanting to spill it accidentally. you had been guilty of that before. without warning, his hands dropped below your waist and cupped your cheeks, making your eyes go wide. âdaddy,â you gasped out, bemused. âwhat are you doing?â
jaehyun shushed you, giving your neck a fleeting kiss before he shifted his attention back downwards, pushing your nightgown up so that it would bunch around your hips. âquiet,â he whispered.
âdaddy, the milk,â you whined, having lost control of your grip when he touched you, catching you by surprise.Â
most of it had spilled out of its container, the bowl overflowing with streams of milk dripping off the counter that would stink if not cleaned soon enough. but some of it had splashed onto your face, chest and tummy. âshh,â jaehyun repeated. âdonât worry about it. you can milk something else.â
your face warmed in realization just as he began to press himself against you from behind, and the very big, very hard bulge in his pants made your mouth run dry.
or maybe it was the morning breath. because you woke up, sighing quietly at first, and turned to stretch your arm from underneath your blankets.
âwhat the fuck,â you grumbled a few minutes later when it dawned on you exactly what kind of dream youâd just had.Â
sure, youâd had dreams about jaehyun before, but they were nothing to write home about; they were entirely random and didnât make logical sense, or they were simple and mundane, and very often, you didnât realize they were dreams at first because they were so realistic that they could have been memories.
that was definitely a dream. you couldnât imagine jaehyun doing anything like that to you. well, you certainly could, but that wasnât the point. it wasnât realistic whatsoever, other than him extending himself to help you.
it made you horny to think about. everything about the dream had physically felt so real to you; jaehyunâs hands on your ass, his bulge pressing against you from behind, and his warmth radiating onto you hotly enough to make you melt.
part of you was tempted to go back to bed, ignoring the faint chirps of birds outside your window and the light reaching through white and pink curtains. if only you could have stayed asleep a little longer, just to see how it ended. if only jaehyun would have ever felt that way about you too, then maybe it could become true.
but he wouldnât. and even if he somehow did, jaehyun was at work by now. so you did the one you never thought you would do.Â
âhello?â jaemin said when he picked up the phone.Â
your heart sped. you were about to propose something that you were none too sure about, but something had to be done about the festering ache between your legs. your fingers werenât satisfying you anymore; they hadnât in years. âjaemin,â you whispered. âhi.â
âhi,â jaemin repeated dryly, wondering what you wanted. you could hear in his tone that he still wasnât particularly thrilled about last night.
you swallowed the lump in your throat. âiâm sorry for running away last night,â you murmured. âi didnât want to abandon you like that. i was just⊠scared.â
jaemin made a noise, but it was so quiet and distorted that you couldnât decide what to make of it. âyou were scared,â he replied, echoing your words again.
you gave a deep, prolonged exhale. you knew that you were running out of time with him, that one day, he would grow sick of your excuses and your stalling. âi knew that⊠you were trying to have sex,â you explained. âand i didnât⊠i didnât feel comfortable. i was drunk. and then you said we were going to jenoâs room, and i got even more worried.â
âwhy?â
âi donât like jeno,â you admitted, although you thought it would be obvious by now. âhe looks at me weird.â
âbaby,â jaemin sighed. you could hear how frustrated he was. âjenoâs not gonna hurt you. he just likes to have a little fun. but if it makes you feel better, iâll try to keep him in line.â
you were only half relieved. âthank you.â
ânow, is that why you called me? to tell me jeno makes you uncomfortable?â he asked.Â
âno,â you stammered, playing with the hem of your shirt in attempt to distract yourself from your nerves. âthereâs something else i wanted to tell you.â
âwhat is it, sweetheart?â
you blurted, âi think iâm ready.â
you could practically feel jaemin perk up. âlike, seriously?â he asked, stunned.Â
âyeah,â you replied, but it weak. there was a bit of regret in your chest when the word left your mouth, but you tried to swallow it down and keep it there. âiâm ready, jaemin. right now.â
jaemin was ruffling through something, probably his drawer. âshit,â he said, excited. you wondered if his heart was beating even half as fast as yours was. âwhere are you right now?â
âhome.â
âcan i come over?â
âyeah,â you muttered again. he lived far enough that you had time to wash up a little and get your mind together. âmy dad is at work and my mom probably wonât be home until later. itâs just me.â
âiâm on the way,â jaemin said without missing a beat, quickly hanging up.Â
you took a deep breath, trying to relax yourself. jaemin was your boyfriend. you were supposed to call him when you had needs; itches that needed scratching.
it was a conflict that had been warring in your mind for weeks, maybe subconsciously months. on the one hand, your lust was only centered around jaehyun and you were afraid of having sex with jaemin for more reasons than one. but on the other, the human desire for release had ran to a peak and now it was unignorable, your body begging to be satiated.
you knew what the most prudent choice would have been: dumping jaemin, getting over these unrational feelings for your stepfather, and no longer settling for men that treated you as less than what you deserved. but what did you look like being alone again, waiting for someone to decide they loved you, especially when your heart belonged to someone who could never be yours?
clearly, you were in no way in the position to make prudent choices. not when the need burning inside you outweighed the reason.
time went by faster than you thought, considering that jaemin didnât particularly live nearby. you had spent the better half of that time in your own head, wondering what would happen, and the sound of the doorbell ringing jolted you out of your thoughts.
your heart was pounding with all its might as you made deliberately slow, steadys steps down the stairs and to the front door where you knew jaemin would be waiting. seeing his face when you opened the door only made you more anxious.
jaemin, on the other hand, beamed when he saw you. you werenât sure if you had ever seen him smile at you like that before. âhey, baby,â he greeted, stepping inside.
âhi,â you murmured, shutting the door behind him.
jaemin coiled his arms around your waist and pulled you into his chest. his alluring, familiar scent put you at ease a little more. âi missed you,â he whispered, fingers sliding underneath your shirt to draw patterns on your navel, almost as if he could sense your need for comfort. âyou ran off on me last night.â
your smile was sheepish as you apologized again, âiâm sorry.â
âitâs okay. i know why you did it,â jaemin said, glancing around as you led him out of the foyer little by little. âi just realized iâve never been inside your house.â
that was not only true, but intentional; for obvious reasons, you didnât want to be in the house with jaemin by yourself, but you also didnât want him around your parents, either. your mother would find some way to embarrass you and the few times jaehyun and jaemin had met, there was strange tension in the air.
based on your motherâs behavioral patterns and those interactions alone, you had made the unilateral decision that it would be better for everyone involved if you kept your relationship with jaemin outside. âyeah,â you said, happy to think about anything but what was to come. âitâs better that way, donât you think?â
jaemin chuckled, nodding his head. when he saw the stairs, he instinctively started heading that way. âyeah. i donât think your dad likes me very much.â
âheâs just protective,â you replied, although you remembered jaehyun telling you outright that he didnât like your boyfriend.Â
âyou donât need protecting from me,â jaemin told you, slipping his hand down from your navel to your hand as you started up the steps. âhave you been telling him mean things about me?â
define mean, was what you answered in your head. if anything, you had probably described jaemin too kindly, too gently. he had never hurt you, at least in the sense that he had never put his hands on you, but he was aggressive in other, more hurtful ways. âno, i told him the truth.â
âand whatâs the truth?â
âthat i love you,â you lied. âand i want to do this with you.â
jaemin looked like the happiest man alive, and something told you that it was unusual for him to be more enthusiastic in this moment than almost any other moment heâd spent with just the two of you. but the fear that had kept you close to him for so long was the same fear that had held you apart, and it was the same fear telling you to be silent.
but when jaemin opened the door to your bedroom, his face fell. âwhatâs all this?âÂ
your brows furrowed. ââŠmy bedroom?â
âyours?â jaemin echoed, apparently appalled as he scanned your bedroom from left to right.Â
the main culprit, however, seemed to be the miscellaneous plushies thrown about your bed. âoh,â you whispered, confused. your mother had found it childish and voiced her unwanted opinion every now and then, but you never thought it was so bad.Â
jaemin scoffed, âwhat are you, thirteen? iâm not fucking you on that.â
âbut, jaemin,â you started, noticing him turning back around. your stomach churned. he was leaving.Â
shaking his head, jaemin threw the door open and said, âyou really have to grow up, baby.â
you followed him, frantic. you knew he could your footsteps as you trailed behind him down the stairs, but he didnât bother turning around, as if he had already decided he didnât want to see you anymore. âjaemin, please donât go,â you begged.
he didnât listen. he didnât even look at you, not until he made it to the front door and said, âgoodbye,â followed by your name. then, he walked out the door, passing your mother on his way out.
as if this afternoon couldnât get any worse.
as soon your mother stepped through the door, looking like she had been awake for the past twelve hours doing god knows what, she went, âreally? you turn eighteen and think you can just do whatever you want? why the hell are you bringing boys over?âÂ
you were already on the verge of tears and you didnât have the strength to put up with her, so for the first time in your life, you chose to walk away. she called after you, demanding you to come back, but you ignored it and raced upstairs to your bedroom.
it hurt more than it should have, watching jaemin leave like that, watching him go despite your pleas. maybe because it felt all too familiar. your brain recognized the feeling belligerently attacking you and your heart weakly surrendered to it, still too broken.
maybe you were always too broken, maybe that was why they never stayed. this is what men do, you told yourself through hot, wet tears. they take what they want, and then when it becomes even a little too much for them, they leave. nothing will change that. they wonât change themselves.
sitting alone by yourself in your closed bedroom with only your stuffed toys to bear witness to your suffering, it still felt humiliating. you had already come to the conclusion that what you felt for jaemin was not love, at least not of a romantic nature. and yet for the life of you, you couldnât wrap your head around why it still hurt so bad.
it was a dizzying, throbbing ache that only persisted the longer you sat on the carpeted floor, weeping. for a fleeting moment, you were twelve again, old enough to recognize your first heartbreak but not enough to put a name to it. you remembered like it was yesterday, watching your fatherâs back as he walked out of the door, hauling the last of what he would bring with him into his new life, and leaving you in the old chapter.
there was a certain shape of hopelessness that youâd molded into, the loud, petty arguments and traded hits culminating in the few seconds it took to realize that you didnât mean as much as a toothbrush, a watch, a box of wrenches or an old, wrinkled tee. because if you had, maybe he would have taken you, too.
and maybe if you meant more to jaemin than what was between your legs, he would still be here now. denying him sex for so long made you feel powerful; he was wrapped around your finger at some point, submissive, so to speak, and willing to do anything with the hopes that you would give it up. you took advantage of that. you used him so that for once in your life, you could feel wanted and in control.
and as you had ultimately come to expect, your woeful thoughts soon wandered to the greatest manifestation of your desires so far: jaehyun. it only seemed just that the world would taunt and tantalize you with the most perfect man youâd ever known, the only one you could ever trust with your heart.Â
the cards had been dealt so that you had just enough access to admire how much of a dream he was, but not enough to let you slip away; you could doze off, vaguely picturing what it would be like in a world where the steep heights and pitless hollows of your affection could be reciprocated, but every time, you would be jolted back awake.
the more you thought about it, there had to be a reason why you seemed to want things more after coming to find there was no feasible way you could make them yours - because you wanted control.Â
control, particularly over your own life, was something you had long wanted yet long been denied. you wanted to be able to make decisions for yourself without having your circumstances be shaped around the decisions of others. you didnât want to suffer the consequences of a choice you had no say in. you wanted to reap what was rightfully yours.Â
seeing someone like jaehyun, someone that you knew you could never have, only made him attractive tenfold. until now, you never noticed how this manifested similarly in other parts of your life, like in your overwhelming urge to prove yourself. to be the adult it seemed like everyone doubted you could be.
thatâs why itâs so hard for me to accept denial and handle rejection, you rationalized as you peeled yourself off the floor and onto your bed, having finally stopped sobbing. because iâve been denied simple pleasures my whole life, and yet people try to deny me even more.
thinking back to the little girl you once were, the one that was full of life and imagination, the one that foolishly had hoped her mother and father would stay together, the one that was innocent and naive, and knew nothing about how brutal reality truly was, you couldnât help but burst into tears all over again.
because that little girl didnât deserve to have to grow up so quickly. if you could have undone it all, if you could have spared that little girl the trauma of crying herself to sleep as she heard her parents arguing down the hall, if you could have stopped her dad from leaving for years, if you could have stopped her mom from inviting man to man into her life, you would have done it in a heartbeat.
and then there was the part of you that had always craved romance, the part of you that remained unfulfilled. combining this lifelong grapple with control with an unattainable lover, it was no secret why you wanted to prove the stars wrong.Â
just this once, you wanted to know that you deserved good things too.
after a long moment of drifting between the sickness in your mind that had been infecting your thoughts, you eventually cried yourself to sleep. it was something you hadnât done in years, but when you woke up, you almost felt better.
you dragged yourself out of bed and slipped on your house shoes, trudging downstairs while mumbling prayers about how you hoped you wouldnât bump into your mother. you knew she would give you an earful about earlier.Â
to your surprise, rather than your mother, jaehyun was in the kitchen. he turned when he heard your heavy footsteps. âhey, doll,â he said, shutting the refrigerator.
you grumbled a response and waved weakly, moving past the island so that you could join him near the refrigerator. you would have opened it yourself, but jaehyun beat you to it, handing you a water.
when your eyes widened a little in surprise, jaehyun snickered and asked, âwhat else do you drink?â
he had a good point there. it was rare you drank anything but water in the house, not that you had a specific reason for it. it was just a habit you hadnât broken. âand what if i was hungry?â you asked playfully, accepting the water from his hands.
âyou wouldnât have touched the refrigerator, because you always get everything delivered.â
you gasped in mock offense. âhey, i cook sometimes!â
jaehyun chuckled. âyes, you do, doll. but i know not to expect you to cook anything if you look like you just crawled out of bed.â
you hummed, sitting down at the island and twisting the cap off the water. you didnât realize how long you had been asleep, but it had to have been a while if jaehyun was home.Â
jaehyun followed you, sitting beside you. he didnât say anything for a minute, wanting to carefully think over his words so that they came out as intended. âi went up to your room earlier to talk to you about something, but you were sleeping, so i left you alone.â
you glanced over at him, finishing your swig before you asked, âtalk about what?â
âyour mother wants me to address your⊠disobedience, as she puts it,â jaehyun started levelly.Â
you sighed, slamming your head against the counter. of course, she did. âi guess she told you jaemin was here earlier?â
âshe did.â
you were almost certain that that woman just didnât want you to breathe. she had been able to control you less and less over the years, and the more you resisted, the more determined she seemed. like mother, like daughter. âwell, itâs your house. if you donât want me to have boys over, then fine, i respect that. but she doesnât have the right to police me.â
âitâs not just the boy,â jaehyun replied, although he had his own set of grievances about that. âshe feels like youâre becoming rebellious in general.â
you almost rolled your eyes. âand why couldnât she tell me that herself?â
sighing, jaehyun said, âbecause she pointed out that you only seem to listen to me, not her.â
âyeah, because itâs surprising iâm more inclined to obey someone who knows how to have an actual conversation than someone who just wants to yell and doesnât care to hear me,â you retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm. âdaddy, sheâs been trying to control my life since forever. iâm sick of it.â
âi know how you feel, doll, but you havenât exactly been making smart choices lately, either,â jaehyun answered gently, resting a hand on your knee. âlike your boyfriend, for example.â
âi told you, i donât like him.â
jaehyun didnât skip a beat. âand i asked you, why are you dating him, then?â
âgod, you just donât get it,â you grumbled, opening your water bottle to take another large gulp. Â
âthen, explain it to me,â jaehyun said gently, eyes meeting yours with a reservoir of adoration. âmake me get it. iâm here to listen to you, baby girl. i want to understand you, but i canât do that if you donât let me in.â
but you couldnât let him in, not that far, because then he would see something that startled him. it was easier to break your own heart over and over than it was to risk his opinion of you changing, all for some closure. âi donât want to talk about it.â
jaehyun heaved a breath. he absolutely despised when you froze him out. he wasnât stupid; he noticed that you were only this less forthcoming when it came to the topic of your boyfriend that he couldnât understand for the life of him why you kept seeing. every time he thought heâd had a productive conversation with you about him, jaehyun heard something else about that boy.
something more infuriating than the last.
you stood up from the barstool, an idle box of cereal on top of the refrigerator catching your eye as you did, and you remembered the dream youâd had about him that inspired everything to happen today. âi love you, daddy,â you whispered, throwing your arms around him. âthank you for trying.â
âiâll always try,â jaehyun told you, voice featherlight.
you believed him, you truly did, but it hurt to think that he was the only man that would ever say that to you and mean it. âi know.â
jaehyun placed a hand on his shoulder before you could leave, hoping to get one more sentence in. âi know itâs not easy for you, doll, but can you try to appease your mother every now and then? for me?â
you stifled a sigh, nodding your head. âiâll do whatever you want me to do, daddy,â you murmured.
jaehyun smiled softly and pat your shoulder.
for the next couple of days, you pathetically waited by your phone, hoping to hear from jaemin again. normally, he would text you the day or two after an unresolved argument, apologizing profusely until you gave him a satisfactory answer.
or in other words, until you forgave him. but on the third day, you knew something was wrong. you hadnât even argued, and yet he was ignoring your existence as if you had committed the most unjustifiable crime against humanity ever recorded.
this is really it, you thought fretfully, heart swelling with dread. he doesnât want me anymore.
you tried to act like it didnât hurt, like he didnât wield this immense power over you, but you knew you were lying to yourself. and that jaemin had lied to you. he had said that you could never disappoint him, after all, but you were fairly certain that ship had sailed.
it was half past noon when you noticed a notification on your phone from one of your friends, an attachment with a text that read, hey, did you break up with jaemin? just asking because someone sent me a photo of him kissing another girl yesterday night.
surely enough, the attached image was of jaemin swallowing some other girlâs face, blurry in quality, but you knew your boyfriendâs face when you saw it. he had his hands round her waist, holding her close exactly like how heâd held you, only it seemed like itâd been so long since heâd touched you like that.
only one minute ago, you had been convinced that you had no more tears left to cry. staring at the image, pieces of your wounded heart dropping heavily to your stomach, you didnât realize you were crying until the phone went black by itself and you faintly saw your reflection in its screen, mirroring you.
whatever had happened between you and jaemin the other day, you didnât consider it a breakup. it was your understanding that you were still together, given that he hadnât necessarily said something to indicate the opposite. maybe you were mistaken, but that didnât make it feel like anything less of a betrayal.
but to call it a betrayal implied some level of trust, a level deeper than you thought you had possessed. your feelings for jaemin were complicated, but you knew that you had trusted him not to stab you in the back the second it was turned. you had trusted him to take care of you, to protect you. you had trusted him not to hurt you.
now that you thought about it, you werenât sure why. the past couple of weeks alone had been hell, his advances becoming more frequent than ever now that you had turned eighteen, and he had always shown signs of wavering. but you ignored them. you were desperate to fill the void left behind by every man youâd ever loved.
torn from head to toe with the sting of emotion, you pushed open your bedroom door and went straight for your parents room. fortunately, it was empty, neither of them home to watch you sulk; the last thing you wanted was for your stepfather to see you sobbing over a boy he hated, and for your mother to say that she told she so.
the first place you touched was the closet, where you knew jaehyun kept his hoodies. you missed him. you missed him in ways youâd never genuinely known him, or felt him, or possessed him. perhaps it would have made more sense to say that you longed for him, but in your heart, those moments youâd dreamt of felt real sometimes.
taking one of his cozy, black hoodies down from where they hung, you hurriedly threw it on, quickly engulfed by its size. it was comforting. the smell was, too. if you closed your eyes, you could pretend that jaehyun was there, holding you in his arms and whispering in your ear that everything would be okay in the end.
you pinched the loose material of the hoodie that was dropping around your body as you sat on the floor and held it to your nose, eyes fluttering closed. he had been wearing it around the house a lot lately. you were very fond of the way he smelled. it was heavenly and masculine, but also safe and familiar.
it was uniquely his own, and, breathing in the scent of jaehyun, you exhaled calmly, pretending that he could want you.
his scent had another effect on you, too. it made you feral, to say the least. though you were mostly used to it, when you saw him for the first time after a while, it made you feel like a ferocious animal, hungry with lust and ready to pounce.
for a moment, you tried to be stronger. you tried to pull yourself together and remind yourself that this man was your stepfather, the man who was married to your mother. but the shame could only contend with the gravity of want for so long until one finally emerged triumphant.
you pulled the hoodie over your head and stared at it for a second, like you were giving yourself one final chance to not do something youâd regret, but lust prevailed over reason.
with nothing to hold you back, you wiggled out of your favorite pair of tiny house shorts, temporarily tossing them aside. you grabbed a hold of the hoodie and bunched it into shape between your thighs, slowly rocking your hips into it.
your eyes fluttered closed as you tried to think of something that would help get you off, every thought you were capable of developing revolving around your stepfather. what most of them had in common, however, was the vivid picture of jaehyun on top of you, weight crushing you hard as he rutted into you nice and deep.
it was too arousing to think about, what he would feel like buried so many inches deep inside you, face tensing as he fucked you with total abandon. you wanted him to lose self restraint, to whisper in your ear that he loved you, that he wanted you, that he needed you. and only you.
your needy hips moved faster. the muscles in your thighs were spasming, your whole body alive with the sparks of desire that were killing you slowly. breathy pants escaped your mouth, your jaw slacking as your body worked harder to exhale. you couldnât breathe through the thick, muddled haze of your uncontrollable hunger.
how could you? the mere sight of jaehyun made your heart hammer sometimes, because it knew what it wanted. your entire body, at this point, knew what it wanted, but more importantly, it knew what it needed. you couldnât shake the idea that jaehyun was good for you. that he was meant for you.
maybe thinking of jaehyun as some exquisite gift sent from the gods as a reward for enduring so much in so little time, rather than a titillating manifestation of everything you wanted but could never have, was merely an extreme sign of desperate coping, but you couldnât help yourself. you deserved him, more than your mother ever would.
you could make him feel so good, if he only gave you the chance. if he only let loose for a moment and let himself indulge in the wonders between your legs that called out for him and sang his name. you didnât know what you were thinking, almost letting another man claim what was so surely his, even if he didnât know it yet.
one of your hands pushed up your skirt and you squeezed your breasts, imagining it was jaehyunâs bigger, stronger hand instead. your hips were now moving with a mind of their own, rough pants getting louder, and you thought of jaehyun touching you with just as much fervor and need. it felt more like you were hoping.
the heat in your core finally reached its peak and you orgasmed with a shaky moan, trying to milk the high for all it was worth, but the relief disappeared just as quickly as it had come. you sighed, hole throbbing emptily, and you inspected the hoodie for any signs of your arousal leaking through your underwear.
you pushed it aside and lied down on the floor, catching your breath as you tried to shake the guilt. you hated how much of a slave you were to this insatiable need, sinning in return for only a fleeting second of relief. but more than that, you hated settling. if you had it your way, jaehyun would have been fucking you every night.
the thought made your thighs clench against each other. sometimes, you foolishly hoped jaehyun would come into your room at night and ravage you in your sleep, fucking you awake. you knew he was so tired when he came home from work. he deserved to come home to a young, tight hole. and he deserved to use it whenever he wanted, however he wanted.
knees kicking up, your eyes shifted underneath your parentsâ bed, and you noticed something hidden underneath. your curiosity got the better of you and you reached out to grab it. a tiny box came into your hands, and for a moment, you just looked at it, wondering what was inside.
there was no better way to find out than having a look yourself. you figured it was jaehyunâs, given that it was on his side of the bed, and that knowledge only made you want to open it more; you were itching to know everything about him.
your brows furrowed when you opened the box. the first thing you saw was a picture of a teenaged girl, maybe about thirteen or fourteen. you were confused about why he had it, but there were more pictures stacked beneath. the more you glanced through them, the more you realized she looked a little too much like jaehyun.
those cute, deep dimples, his deep, honey eyes, and his peachy, plump lips. you gasped, coming to only one reasonable conclusion: this was his daughter. but if true, why had you never seen her, or heard him speak about her?
you had to assume that he loved her. for one, he was keeping pictures and belongings of her beneath his bed. other than the photos, you saw a necklace with an initial that wasnât his own, a charm bracelet, a bottle of feminine perfume and other items. a part of you felt like this was something you werenât supposed to see, and out of respect, you put everything back just as you had found it and slid the box underneath the bed.
it felt like a violation of privacy and there was a pang of regret in your chest, but you couldnât help but have questions. though jaehyun would be coming home later than usual tonight, so even if you somehow mustered the courage to ask him, it would be a while before you got the opportunity.
you reached out to grab your shorts and put them back on. the only thing left for you to take care of was jaehyunâs hoodie, which you werenât sure what to do with. you could have put it back as if nothing had ever happened, but you would have felt bad if you didnât wash it.
so, you did. mostly everything you did from that point on was to distract yourself from thinking about jaehyun. every now and then, you remembered what had happened with jaemin and there was a throbbing ache in your chest, but you pushed the thoughts away.Â
it was easier to think about jaehyun, to wonder how many things you really knew about him, this man that had taken on the role of father for the past five years of your life. after all, it was never him coming to you for advice on life, but you supposed that made sense. he was older than you, had gone through many of the things you were experiencing for the first time, and had the benefit of hindsight.
still, you were curious about him and the many years that had shaped him into the person he was now. were they kind? every person had their fair share of hardships and encounters with adversity, at least in some fashion, but you hoped heâd had it relatively easy. you knew what it was like to suffer and you wouldnât wish it on your worst enemy, much less him.
the efforts to distract yourself went on for so long that you even ended up making dinner, considering that your mother wasnât home for whatever reason and you figured jaehyun would be hungry when he came back; you were hungry, and you hadnât even done anything but think about him excessively.
like clockwork, jaehyun came in through the foyer and went to the kitchen, spotting you putting the finishing touches on dinner. âyouâre cooking?â
you laughed at his surprise and nodded your head, turning off the stove. âiâm basically finished now,â you chirped, donning oven mittens. âi told you, i cook sometimes.â
jaehyun leaned against the counter, watching you take a pan out of the oven. âsmells good,â he commented, humming in approval. âis your mother home?â
ânope,â you replied, setting the pan down on the stove. you had no idea where she was, nor did you care as long as she was safe.
âmm.â
you turned around to face jaehyun, taking a deeper look at him. he looked tired, exhausted even. you knew he would always deny how bad it was, though. âhungry?â
jaehyun bobbed his head and set a hand on his stomach. âstarving.â
you and jaehyun sat down at the table beside each other and ate dinner, talking in between bites. your heart warmed to see how delighted he was while eating, the smile on his face at the first spoonful putting one on yours. your relationship with your mother had always been strained, but you had to thank her for teaching you how to cook.
while you had contemplated bringing up what you had seen earlier during dinner, every time you tried willing yourself to mention it to jaehyun, you got nervous and didnât follow through. it wasnât like it was something you were supposed to know about and you knew that by mentioning it, you would be telling on yourself.
not only that, but you didnât know how jaehyun would feel about telling you about it, or if he would even want to talk about it. the last thing you wanted to do was overstep your boundaries, which was something you probably had already done the second you went into his bedroom and pried into his personal belongings.
after the dishes were washed, something jaehyun volunteered to help you take care of, you followed him into the living room where he usually went to relax after work. you managed to stay quiet for all of fifteen minutes before the guilt overwhelmed you and you apologized, âiâm sorry.â
jaehyun turned his attention way from the television to look at you, brows furrowing. âfor what?â
you swallowed the lump in your throat. you could have gotten away with it, but it didnât feel right not to mention. âi went into your room today.â
jaehyun didnât mind you being in his bedroom, but it was unusual that you were there when you had your own. âwhy?â
you smiled anxiously, fidgeting with your hands. that was the important part. you left out what you had done with the hoodie, deciding he didnât need to know that. âi just did,â you replied, your voice quiet. âbut thatâs not the part iâm apologizing for. i saw something under your bed. and, i looked through it.â
jaehyunâs face changed, something more melancholy tensing his features. âoh.â
âiâm sorry,â you repeated, faint. the look on his face made you feel even more guilty than you already had.
jaehyun pat the top of your head, as if he knew that you needed the reassurance. âitâs okay,â he said, smiling thinly. âi guess you have questions now, donât you?â
you nodded reluctantly. those questions were essentially all you had thought about it since you discovered that box underneath his bed. âi do, but⊠you donât need to tell me anything if you donât want to.â
âitâs alright,â jaehyun replied, exhaling. that shroud of melancholy was still hanging over him. âshe was my daughter.â
your heart stopped. ââŠwas?â
for a moment, jaehyun was silent and he didnât immediately respond. you wondered if you had said the wrong thing, overthinking everything you were doing. he exhaled yet another breath and replied, âshe passed away six years ago. car accident.â
that explained everything, but now you felt worse than you had before and it was killing you. âdaddyâŠâ
it looked like it pained him to talk about it, but he did it anyway. âi was married before i met your mother,â he explained. âeverything was good. we had a few problems, but hey, no marriage is completely perfect. my ex-wife took our daughter out and they were coming back home when they got into a car accident. she wasnât paying attention. she lived; our daughter didnât.â
you were silent. you didnât know what to say.
tensing a little, jaehyun continued, âwe had a divorce because i blamed her, and i couldnât stand to be around her anymore. i donât think i can ever forgive her for being so reckless.â
âi wish that never happened to you, daddy. you didnât deserve that,â you said compassionately.
âyou lost someone, too.â
the thought of your father left a sour taste, and to be frank, you never wanted to think about him again. âyeah, my dad left me, but at least the bastardâs still alive. if i wanted to talk to him, i could. but you donât have that option.â
jaehyunâs eyes flitted over you and he reached out to push your hair out of your face. âthatâs why i want to protect you, doll. you mean more to me than you will ever know.â
there your heart went again, acting a fool at the smallest words and actions. âyou mean a lot to me, too.â
after much internal wavering, jaehyun reluctantly confessed, âi was never going to tell you this, but when i met your mother, part of what i liked about her was that she had a daughter. just a year younger than my daughter would be. and i wanted her back. i wanted her back so badly. so to me, it felt like god was giving me a second chance.â
your eyes flickered. you had always wondered what it was he liked about your mother in the first place. they made a strange pair; he seemed so different from her type, and his personality was much softer than hers. âreally?â
âthatâs why i tried so hard in the beginning to grow on you. even though it couldnât have been more obvious that you didnât want anything to do with me,â he told you lightheartedly.Â
you giggled, remembering how much you had been against your mother getting married to this man you barely knew. âyouâre a great father,â you whispered. âthank you for not giving up halfway.â
âiâll never give up on you.â
you were beaming. âi know.â
this conversation had taken a different direction than you had initially expected, but ultimately, you were happy with it. you had been so afraid of him getting upset with you, and though it would have been justified, you knew rationally that it just wasnât in his nature.
at least, not when it came to you. you had noticed the anger bristling within him when he spoke of the mother of his child; it made you angry on his behalf. but even then, jaehyunâs anger was nothing like the kind you had grown up surrounded with. it wasnât loud, aggressive, or dangerous. it was quiet, composed, restrained.Â
much like the rest of him.
in the time that you had spent thinking about jaehyunâs life and all the secrets it contained, you had figured something out about yourself. âiâm going to break up with jaemin,â you announced.
though he didnât expect the topic change, jaehyun couldnât hide his relief. âwhat took you so long?â
you chuckled, because that was a good question, to be fair. âwell, for one, at least to my knowledge, he hadnât cheated on me until now,â you retorted.
the anger was back, only this time, you swore it had a more hostile air to it than ever. âhe did what?â jaehyun exclaimed.
you shrugged your shoulders. it wasnât that it didnât bother you, because it did. come to think about it, it mostly hurt because you would have never done the same thing to him, no matter how much you lusted after your stepfather.Â
taking a deep, frustrated breath, you explained, âyeah. long story short, when he came over the other day, it was because i had agreed to have sex with him. but when he saw my room for the first time, he basically called me childish and said he wasnât doing it there. then he marched out.â
jaehyun shook his head, but he wasnât surprised. at least you had enough self-respect to end it now. he was starting to become afraid that he would need to shake some sense into you.
jaemin had served a purpose. he was unbelievably handsome, undoubtedly smart, and told you everything that you wanted to hear. he distracted you from what you were really after, and in return, you ignored what he was really after.
there was a large part of you that felt ashamed for lying to yourself for so long. but now you were being honest. you owed yourself that much. âi was so stupid. part of the reason i didnât want to have sex with him was because i wanted him to stay, and i wasnât sure if he would still choose me afterwards. i was scared he would get what he wanted and leave. but the reason i agreed to have sex with him was because i could feel him getting bored and pulling away. and in the end, he left me anyway.â
you had already decided you werenât going to hold it against him, because you were both guilty of something. you had lied to each other, taken advantage of each other, and bled dry each other. both of you had tried to force something that was never really there. you would never forgive him for cheating, but you could understand him leaving.
jaehyun listened intently, watching your face as you talked about your relationship and what went wrong. he picked out his words, not wanting to be blinded by his lack of disappointment. âyouâre not stupid for wanting someone to like you.â
your eyes met his. i want you to like me, you thought to yourself, wishful. âam i stupid for staying even though i knew deep down that it wasnât really me that he liked?â
âno, doll,â jaehyun replied gently, bracing a hand on your knee. âyouâre just disillusioned.â
you chuckled. âyou sure youâre not just saying that?â
jaehyun squeezed your knee, giving you comfort that he knew you needed. it would be complicated, you already knew, coping with your feelings for him now that you wouldnât have jaeminâs shenanigans to distract you. not that they really ever helped. âyouâre young. even your mind has a mind of its own. i think itâs only stupid if you make the same mistake twice.â
you hummed, knowing that that probably wouldnât be happening. you werenât the type of person to jump from relationship to relationship. you were too afraid of abandonment for that. you could only handle so many of them before you snapped.
as jaehyun looked at you, he couldnât help but feel guilty, thinking maybe he should have done more to keep you safe from a boy like that. but you were an adult now, and he was trying to give you the space to take care of yourself on your own. âdid you ever really like jaemin?â he asked after a pause.Â
âi think i just liked feeling wanted,â you murmured, ashamed of your own stupidity.
jaehyun let that sink in. he knew you had been dealing with certain insecurities for years, and the thought that he still had yet been able to help you made him feel worthless. âwhat kind of boyfriend do you want?â
there was a lull of silence as you thought about it thoroughly. you had liked jaemin because you thought he could be everything you should have wanted, but he wasnât necessarily your type. âsomeone whoâs tender,â you decided, something jaemin selectively was. âsomeone whoâs assertive, protective, and takes care of me.â
âmm.â
your heart was racing, but somehow you found the courage to add, âsomeone like you.â
jaehyun tried to rationalize that, he truly did. in his mind, the idea of wanting someone who embodied the traits of a strong father figure was a perfectly normal desire. but he wasnât an idiot, and he could hear everything you didnât say, and recognize the sudden change in your body language.
because you didnât want a boyfriend; you wanted a father.
sighing, jaehyun relaxes his eyes for a second before he opens them again, taking in how fragile you appear and feel beneath his heavy hands. âdoll, youâre my daughter.â
âstepdaughter,â you corrected in a heartbeat.
jaehyun ignored you, continuing, âand youâre so young.â
âiâm eighteen,â you replied, heart thudding so fast you couldnât stay still. âiâm an adult.â
jaehyun didnât seem pleased, or convinced for that matter. it was as you feared; he would always see you as this little girl that needed saving. âyou may legally be an adult,â jaehyun started, quiet. âbut mentally, you are still a little girl.â
that stung. you never knew jaehyun was capable of it until now, but he had really burned you with such few words. your eyes even burned with the threat of tears. âif thatâs how you feel,â you murmured, standing up from the sofa.
jaehyun softened, immediately regretting having ever said anything. âdoll, wait.â
you didnât, making a beeline straight for the stairs. you werenât sure what you were expecting. he thought of himself as your father and he was married to your mother. why would he see you like that?
why did you see him like that?
to make matters worse, jaehyun didnât follow you. you didnât turn around, but the lack of footsteps behind you wasnât lost on your ears. pretending it didnât bother you, you went to your bedroom, shut the door, and dropped on your bed.
maybe you should have been grateful that your biggest problem in life was unreciprocated feelings. you knew there were all too many things you had to be grateful for, especially things jaehyun provided for you, like education and a nice home and fatherly love. there was no good reason to expect more than that from him. maybe you were just greedy.
or maybe you were needy. at worst, you were a little bit of both, but that wasnât completely your fault. when bred from incompetence and instability, no one could rationally expect anything but insanity. if no one had ever given you a fair chance at normalcy, then no one could expect you to know how to reinvent yourself into something ordinary.
it was just so exhausting to be continuously rejected, because you were too this or not enough of that. you never knew how to be what anyone wanted. you never knew how to make anyone stay. just once, you wanted someone to care for you the same way you cared about them, and nothing less.
just when you were beginning to accept that you were hopeless, there was a knock on your door. wiping at your eyes, you reluctantly called out, âitâs open.â
jaehyun came in, shutting the door behind him, heart clenching in his chest when he noticed your reddening eyes. âcalm down yet?â he asked.
you shrugged your shoulders, but murmured, âi donât know if iâll ever calm down.â
he could tell that you didnât just mean the exchange downstairs; no, whatever storm was raging and rushing within you unbeknownst to him, it was only festering. âi try not to say the wrong things,â jaehyun said, slowly coming to sit beside you on the edge of your bed.
you knew that. it was something you had come to like about him. he was careful, loving. it was never his intention to hurt anyone. but he was only human, and humans made mistakes and had lapses in judgment. âmaybe you werenât wrong. maybe iâm just immature.â
âmaybe a little bit,â jaehyun told you, frank, but lighthearted. âbut i could have said it a little better.â
you rolled your eyes, almost feeling better already. but the faint echo in your heart had yet to cease. âyou donât need to sugarcoat everything for me all the time, you know.â
jaehyun hummed. you were saying that, but he knew that he could break you into pieces if he wanted. tinier, more insignificant pieces than the ones you already were broken into. but he wouldnât. he was realizing the full scope of power he wielded over you, and now that he knew, he wanted to be cautious. âi think i understand you now.â
your eyes leapt up to his face, almost like you were begging for that to be true. âwhat do you mean?â
âwhy you do the things you do,â jaehyun continued, dabbing at a tear that had fallen down your cheeks. âyou donât want a boyfriend. you want a father.â
saying nothing, you fidgeted with your thumbs and held your breath. you werenât used to having your heart laid flat on the table.
jaehyun stopped you, setting his palm on the back of your hand. âyou want me,â he said, making you wish you could disappear. âand thatâs why you kept saying that you didnât really want jaemin, but never explained to me why you kept dating.â
you leaned your head on his shoulder. âi love you so much, daddy.â
jaehyunâs heart was pounding in ways it hadnât in a long time. âi know you do, baby girl. but you know that this isnât right.â
âi donât care.â
jaehyun sighed. âiâve known you since you were thirteen, doll.â
âso? am i thirteen right now?â
âno, but youâre barely legal.â
âiâm legal. you donât need to put unnecessary adverbs in front of it. iâm not some kid, daddy.â
there was no doubt that jaehyun was trying to change your mind, hoping to say something that would make you realize how foolish this was. too bad for him, you were too far gone. âyour motherâŠ,â he started.Â
âi donât care,â you repeated a little harsher. âyou told me yourself, you basically married her for me. and all she does is leech off you. i know it and you know it. we donât even know where she is right now. say that you love her more than you love me, say it!â
âi donât like your tone right now, doll,â jaehyun told you, stern, but level.Â
obeying the silent command in his voice, you quietened, murmuring, âiâm sorry, daddy.â
jaehyun sighed, stuck between a rock and a hard place. he put a hand on your thigh. âbut youâre right. i do love you more.â
âthen, prove it,â you whispered, inviting him. daring him. prove that you love me. prove that youâre just as sick as i am. prove to me that i have you in every way, that iâm not alone.
jaehyun knew that he shouldnât. he was considering everything you had failed to acknowledge - your mother, his marriage, proper morality, and the fate of his relationship with you. but where he had been ignorant to your fermenting feelings, he hadnât failed to notice exactly how much you had grown up.
the way your body had matured. the way youâd began coordinating your signature scents into something that was indisputably yours. the way your taste in fashion had changed from fluffy, pink skirts to short ones that were one wrong move away from flashing your plush cheeks and the cute, thin fabric of your underwear clinging tightly onto your cunt it just hardly concealed.
jaehyun had, too, noticed, and been rather fond of, how you were usually the meekest thing in the world only for him. with enough conditioning, in a world that was darker, he could put a gun in your hand and turn you into his little obedient vixen. you just wanted to heal him, please him, satisfy him.
but it would be wrong. and jaehyun had once prided himself on the fact that he did everything right. he got the most compelling grades in school to prove that he had genuine smarts to pair with his wealth, he went to a top university and worked hard, he got a job straight after graduation, met who he thought was the perfect woman, married her, bought a opulent house with her, and had a beautiful daughter with her.
so what if he still had to repeat a couple of steps, and so what if he had messed up on a few? at least he didnât mess up on you. the only thing he regretted when it came to you was not completely noticing, not doing more to keep you from struggling.
you were more than just a reclaim of what he had lost. jaehyun didnât think of his first daughter when he thought of you, not anymore. with you getting older and growing into your own person, your own way of life, it was difficult to see her in you. so, he accepted you as your own person, and in turn, he let go.
but that fact didnât make him feel any less guilty or conflicted. you were still his stepdaughter, and you trusted him to protect you. your mother trusted him to protect you. everybody trusted him to guide you, steer you, lead you.
looking into his brown, troubled eyes, you instantly knew what it meant. he needed some persuasion, something to hinder his overthinking.
âplease,â you pleaded, resting a hand on his lower abdomen just as gingerly as the way he handled you in mind and in body. he was still in his work shirt, broad shoulders catching your eye as you succumbed to the urge to rub your smooth palms over them.Â
look at you, begging him to fuck you. gazing up at him with those big, hopeful eyes with a shimmer that was so sweetly sparkling he almost mistook it as innocent. but he knew better. those were eyes that hoped for corruption, that sought comfort in destruction, and that were molded into the puppet of pain.
you lowered your hand again, stopping just shy of his crotch hidden by his work pants. fumbling with the fly, you looked into his eyes, searching for something. any indication that he was resisting. but you only saw him watching like even he didnât know what he wanted.
it was surprising. you had been half expecting him to put his hand over yours and stop you, to remind you again that this was wrong and he didnât see you how you saw him, but he just kept his eyes focused on you as if he was trying to see just how far you would go.
testing the waters, you undid his pants and went straight for his cock, the sound of a strained grunt making your cunt clench around emptiness. it was the sexiest thing youâd ever heard. you had imagined pulling those sounds out of jaehyun, closed your eyes and immersed yourself in a resewn fabric of another reality, but nothing measured up to hearing it for yourself.
jaehyun knew that things were rapidly approaching the point of no return and he groaned, âdollâŠâ
âmake me stop,â you whispered, gently wrapping your fingers around him and moving your hand in a relaxed motion. âmake me stop, daddy.â
it wasnât for lack of trying. jaehyun closed his eyes, wanting to will himself to be the rational person in the room since you had forwent reason entirely, but the second your small, supple hands tightened around his shaft, he knew he had failed.
he didnât want you to stop. and you you didnât want to stop, either.
you beamed victoriously, his silence being a telltale sign that he had succumbed to the same infectious wanting that had long plagued you. you moved your hand only a little faster, endeavoring to stroke him hard. it seemed that with every touch and movement of your wrist, his breathing was growing louder, more labored.
when he was fully hard, you had to suck in a gasp. you werenât sure how you were going to fit every inch of him inside you, and the only thing that seemed clear was that you had your work cut out for you. nevertheless, you still wanted to make him feel good, so you glanced up at him and said sweetly, âtell me what to do. teach me, daddy.â
you caught a quiet, âfuck,â from underneath jaehyunâs breath as he heard what you had said, on the verge of losing his mind altogether, and it was doing unmistakable damage to his psyche. doing the right thing was no longer an option. all that was left was ache and need. without it, you didnât know who you were.
releasing a shaky breath, jaehyun brushed his thumb against your bottom lip with affection and whispered, âtake it in your mouth. go slow and gentle.â
you nodded your head obediently, opening your mouth just wide enough to fit his girth between your parted lips. the first inch was fine; the second inch had its complications, given that you hadnât adjusted to the pressure of his cock in your mouth and breathing through your nose. by the third, you folded, withdrawing.
âiâm sorry,â you murmured, feeling like you should have at least been able to do that much.
jaehyun shook his head, smiling, and smoothed a hand through your hair. âthatâs okay, baby,â he said, understanding. âtry again.â
you sucked him into your mouth again, right between your lips, cheeks hollowed and everything, but for some odd reason, you couldnât relax. you already felt like you were about to gag and it was only the first couple of inches. when you tried to take another, you had to pull back again.
there was a faint burning in the back of your throat. you didnât even notice that a few tears had fallen from one of your eyes until you pulled your mouth off. you frowned, unable to shake the fear that you would disappoint him somehow if you couldnât do it.
âyouâre okay,â jaehyun reassured you, patting your head. âyouâre okay, doll. i promise.â
with another nod, you decided to give it one more go, determined. not only because you wanted to prove yourself, but because you wanted to make him feel good. you couldnât think of anyone that deserved it more than he did.
this time, jaehyun held your hair comfortably behind your head and caressed the strands as you tried to pleasure him once more, accepting what you could into your mouth bit by bit. you were less tense than before and it enabled you to concentrate on breathing and not overwhelming yourself too quickly.
afraid that you would gag again if you tried to take another inch, you decided to use your hand to take care of the remaining amount that wouldnât fit. fortunately, it seemed to work; your mouth kept one part of him company, and your hands moved to prevent the other from becoming too neglected.
jaehyun moaned, curses falling here and there. you could feel the wetness soiling your underwear and he hadnât even done anything yet. his voice was low and deep, sending jolts of electricity straight to your core. minute by minute, you became more and more aware of how aroused you were, and your mind, friend and foe, tempted you with pictures of what it would be like to finally have jaehyun inside.
to your surprise, jaehyun cautiously pried you off his cock, making you look up at him and wonder if you had done something wrong, but all he said was, âi donât want to come yet.â
your thighs squeezed together in excitement. if not now, then later. and if not in your mouth, then hopefully deep, deep inside.
âdaddy,â you called out, somewhat timid. âare you gonna fuck me?â
jaehyun was maybe a few seconds away from short-circuiting and it was admirable that he hadnât done so already, all things considered. he didnât reply immediately, having to catch his breath. âdo you want me to?â
âyes,â you replied in a heartbeat.Â
the room felt hot, and jaehyun couldnât tell if it was real or it was in his head. âsay it.â
it was a little awkward for you to say it so bluntly, but given that you had come this far, you might as well. âi want you to fuck me, daddy.â
jaehyun grunted and said something that sounded like, âcome here,â as he gingerly pulled you off your knees and back onto your mattress. before you even blinked, he was pressing his lips to yours, enveloping them in a sweet, fiery kiss.Â
it felt like a daydream. maybe because you had dreamed of him before and this captured the exact floaty, cloudlike feeling of his arms cushioning your body in a dream, only the speeding thud in your heart making it undeniably real.
you couldnât liken it to any kiss that you and jaemin had shared. while you would admit that jaemin was objectively a good kisser, almost everything you did together lacked passion; there was no spark behind even the most tender of touches. and yet somehow just being this close to jaehyun made your whole body scorch with the fever of suppressed want.
jaehyun slowly forced himself away and began to descend down your body, tugging your shorts down your thighs. heat filled your cheeks when his fingers hooked under your underwear next, but you raised your hips so that he could pull them off. what caught you by surprise, however, was when his tongue flicked over your sensitive flesh.
you gasped, a jolt making your body snap. âwait, daddy, you donât need to. iâm already wet enough.â
that you were. jaehyun could see plain as day how your wet folds glistened with an arousal that had been building longer than he could ever imagine, gone ignored and neglected no longer. âi know,â he grunted out. âi want to.â
then without another word, jaehyun went to town. he started slow, gentle; his larger hands were firm on your plush thighs as he held them apart, almost as if he expected you to eventually resist him. for now, though, there was no need; he was tasting your devotion on his tongue, in no apparent hurry to let this moment end.
your breaths were becoming increasingly heavy, and a part of you still couldnât believe that this was really happening - jaehyun was in between your legs, prepared to make you seen every star that hung in the night sky. you did what you could to commit the sight to memory, refusing to let it get away.
jaehyun wanted to see you unravel. you nearly died when he pressed his tongue deep inside you, abruptly tearing a sweet cry out of your mouth. the muscle wandered over your walls, savoring what he would feel soon enough. but for now, he was more than content to gather every bit of your arousal on the very tip of his tongue and make you feel sensations unimagined.
âgod, you taste so good, baby,â jaehyun groaned, hands clamping tightly around your thighs. âso goddamn good.â
it was from that moment forward he lost control; his self-restraint broke; he was consumed with abandon. jaehyun licked and sucked at your bundle of nerves, drawing out more noises than before. your hips jerked as you laid sprawled out before him, entirely at his mercy.Â
just the way you always wanted.
âdoes that feel good, baby?â jaehyun pulled away for the shortest second to ask. âdo you want me to slow down?â
you shook your head, hands desperately fisting the sheets. âno, please. donât slow down. down stop,â you begged.Â
hearing you say that only made jaehyun harder, but he was still a man with some inhibitions if it meant drawing out the pleasure you felt at his hands. âjust tell me if you need me to switch things up, okay?â
then he went back to work. this time he steadily worked two fingers into you, and you knew without a shred of doubt that you were positively ruined. they were long and thick, much more compared to yours; you would probably feel his cock for days to come.
you could feel yourself devolving into pure madness. jaehyunâs fingers were working you open at the same time his tongue flicked over your clit, and you could hardly keep still, your body convulsing every which way. if not for how tight his hands were around your trembling thighs, you wouldnât have been able to keep them spread for him.
âdaddy, please donât stop. i think iâm gonna come,â you said between quick pants.Â
âi know, baby girl. just relax for me.â
with every nerve in your body going haywire, you felt anything but relaxed. between your thudding heartbeat and the ecstasy shooting its way through your spine, your body was bursting at the seams with fervor. but you tried for him. you couldnât think, at least. there was too much physical stimulation to allow for passing thoughts.
jaehyun only had only goal in mind and that was to make you feel nothing short of the absolute peak of pleasure. he could see what things your body was responding to best and he took advantage of every reaction you had to offer, twisting his tongue the way you so clearly loved.
you couldnât handle it anymore, and something within you snapped; you cried out, back arching off your fluffy pink bed, jaemin and the stupid stuffed toys the furthest thing on your mind as warmth fluttered in your stomach.
âthatâs it, doll,â jaehyun crooned. âyouâre okay, baby. i promise. just let go.â
all the while, his fingers didnât stop as he spoke. they kept moving as he assured you between gentle kisses to your thighs, almost as restless as your entire body was. âdaddy,â you whimpered, thoroughly wrecked.
âi know,â jaehyun whispered, lips flush against your skin. âyou did so good, doll. so good for me.â
jaehyun got up from his knees and draped himself over your body, leaning down to kiss you breathless. though you tried to ignore it, you could feel his hard cock pressing against you and just the feeling itself was mouthwatering.
âso perfect,â jaehyun murmured, pulling back to pepper kisses down your jaw. âdid you really think daddy wasnât gonna make sure his doll was taken care of?â
you had nothing to say, so you just watched him begin to peel off what was left of both of your clothes, piece by piece. when you completely naked, you noticed jaehyunâs unbudging eyes stuck to your figure. âdo you think iâm pretty, daddy?â you asked with a smile.Â
âpretty?â he murmured, brows stitched in amazement. âyouâre⊠youâre beautiful, doll. donât you forget it.â
you wanted to hear him say that a thousand times over.
even as jaehyun moved to reposition himself between your legs, you could hardly believe that this was actually - genuinely - happening. but every touch of his body had felt so real, and youâd dreamed of moments like this enough to know the difference. giving you one last chance to back out, jaehyun asked, âare you sure you want to do this, baby?â
âplease,â you begged. the brushing of his tip against your slick folds made your mouth run dry. âi need it. i need you.â
that was all it took for jaehyun to push inside you, slow and steady as ever. you sucked in a breath, your hands already clenching the sheets again as he coaxed the head of his cock deeper inside your sticky cunt.
âoh my god,â you gasped out.Â
jaehyun chuckled. âiâm barely inside you, baby.â
you knew that, but the feeling of him inside you even this far was enough to make your mind unravel. youâd imagined that it would be a tight fit, but despite him preparing you to take him, that seemed like an understatement. though you were nothing if not purely determined. you would take all of him, no matter how long it took.
jaehyunâs brows furrowed the deeper he sunk into you, his jaw slacked. âgod, youâre so tight,â he murmured. to jaehyun, this was the moment that cemented everything into reality, the moment that made everything true. the tight, wet feel of you stretching around his cock as he moved deeper and deeper was too insane to be imagined even if he tried. and he had tried.
your chest and core fluttered at the compliment. you enjoyed the praise. knowing that you were satisfying him, that you were pleasuring him the way he was pleasuring you, was something that filled you with an immense sense of accomplishment. there was nothing you wanted more than to serve him, than to be his girl.
jaehyun took his time, still hardly moving. every time he heard you abruptly suck in a gasp, his hips ground to a stop, wanting to give you time to adjust. he knew better than anyone that he wasnât lacking in the size category, and the last thing he wanted was to make his sweet girlâs first time uncomfortable. for the right reasons, he wanted to give you a time to remember.
âdo you need a minute, doll?â he asked, one brow lifted as he glanced down at you.
you shook your head. âno, itâs okay. you can keep going.â
âyou sure?â he pressed. it would be a lie if he said he wasnât dying to move even deeper, but not at your expense.
not to mention that your mother probably wouldnât return until after midnight, but that was another conversation.
âiâm sure, daddy,â you replied, reaching out to cradle his face in your hands. you didnât want him to look away. âdonât stop.â
âfuck,â jaehyun groaned. you watched his lips part with the noise and felt his cock become buried further inside your cunt, working you open for him. he was taking his sweet time, because you both knew that if he was going to destroy you, he was going to make every second of it count.
âdaddy, are you almost done?â you asked quietly.Â
âhalfway, babe,â jaehyun told you.
you gawked. âhalfway?â
jaehyun shushed you with a kiss, pushing himself yet another inch within your heat. he couldnât wrap his mind around how perfect you felt around his cock and he wasnât even fully seated inside you yet. you tried to focus on the way his lips moved against yours, but not even that could distract you from how he was stretching you out beyond belief.
âdaddy, youâre so big,â you whined.Â
âi know, baby girl,â jaehyun replied softly, a hint of guilt on his face. âalmost there, i promise. does it hurt?â
âa little bit,â you admitted. âbut i can take it.â
jaehyun swept his finger over your bottom lip. âyou sure, baby?â
you nodded your head. for him, you were convinced that you could do anything. and on top of that, there were no bounds to the things that you would do for him.
when jaehyunâs length had finally penetrated you to the very end, he stilled again, giving you a moment to recover before he started. it felt like an eternity before he actually moved, but when you gave him a nod of approval, he slowly drew back and penetrated you again. you were at a lost for words. nothing had ever been inside you that deeply. there were your fingers and maybe a hair brush, but neither rivaled the depth of your stepfatherâs thick cock as he began to take you like you were his.Â
because you were.
âjesus christ,â jaehyun hissed. âyou feel so good, doll. do you know that?â
âyou feel good too,â you stammered out.
jaehyun took that as a sign that he was doing everything right, which was more than enough for him to relax. his mind was reeling. the mere wet sound of your skin meeting was making him lose control, and that was to say nothing of your pretty moans. the way you desperately called out for him was almost too much to bear.
you reciprocated his feelings. with every deep, guttural grunt that escaped jaehyunâs mouth, your body was less and less yours. he owned you, head to toe, inside out. you were more than prepared to surrender everything to him, to let him claim all that you were. because you relied on him. you needed him. and little did you know, in some twisted way, he needed you even more.
jaehyunâs hands were balled at your sides, clenching the sheets fiercely. he dreaded hurting you, but imagine his surprise when you grabbed a hold of his hands and redirected them to your perfect hips. âyou can hold me, daddy,â you reassured him. âplease. i wonât break.â
and even if you did, you were willing to let him put you back together. jaehyun could feel whatever remained of his restraint crumbling into pieces, and he held your hips in his palms tightly, his eyes boring into yours. his gaze, as relentless as it was, wasnât challenging; it was piercing, loving, understanding. he saw you, he knew you, because you were familiar. you were what kept him whole.
something made jaehyun hold you even tighter. there was a thought that struck him. you needed him to take care of you, to depend upon, to guide you. and he needed you to bring back a purpose which was unfairly stolen from him. he knew it was wrong, that it was sick, but it couldnât be helped. you had become everything to him, and there was no way in hell he was going to let that go.
âi need you,â he panted, his hips keeping a comfortable pace that you seemed to enjoy, judging from how you continued to throb and moan. âi need you so much, doll. you donât understand.â
you shook your head, arms wrapped around his neck. you wanted to be inseparably close. âi do understand, daddy,â you insisted. âi need you too.â
jaehyun felt heat surging through his stomach. he said your name. âi love you.â
your lips curled into a smile. your body shook with rapture, so much that you thought you could cry. âi love you too, daddy. i love you so much. iâd let you have me whenever. iâm yours and i wanna take care of you.â
âmine?â jaehyun repeated, so quietly it could have gone unheard if not for how close his face was to yours.
you nodded your head.Â
jaehyun prodded, âall mine? and not that stupid little boy you call a boyfriend?â
the mere mention of jaemin made you feel disgust and you knew that you were over him, for good. âwonât see him anymore, daddy. i promise. i never wanted him. i always really just wanted you.â
jaehyun didnât even bother willing himself to keep calm after he heard you say that. he was insane about you and he didnât care to hide it anymore. âalways?â he repeated.
you hummed. âthe first time i came was on that bunny rabbit right there.â you turned your head to gesture towards the stuffed animal.
jaehyun saw it and his eyes darkened as he pictured you mounting the poor bunny, grinding your hips against it as you wished and hoped and prayed itâd soon enough be him bringing you pleasure. he wondered exactly how many times you had used it. how many times you had thought of him.
you cried out as his hips began slap against yours faster, but you took it. jaehyun wasnât particularly rough, but each thrust drove you closer to insanity than the last. wrapping your legs around your waist, you drew him closer, your arms around his neck and his big hands firm at your hips. âfuck,â you stammered.
âyou think about me a lot?â jaehyun asked.Â
you nodded your head eagerly. âyes, all the time!â
jaehyun was unrelenting. he lowered his head, sucking your nipple into his mouth, before he let it fall and pressed, âhow much do you think about me?â
âevery day,â you told him honestly. âthereâs not one day⊠where i donât.â
âevery day?â jaehyun repeated. âyou think about me fucking you every day?â
âsometimes i dream about it,â you confessed.
jaehyun groaned. he had dreamed of you too. he had constantly tried not to think about you in that light, but he couldnât help what he dreamed of. âi dream about you too,â he whispered. âof making love to you and fucking you full of my cum. will you let me, doll?â
âyes,â you answered him without a second of hesitation. âplease, daddy. come inside me!â
jaehyun almost came just from hearing those words, but he couldnât yet. not before he felt you tighten around his cock with climax. removing his hand from his hip, he began to toy with your sensitive clit, eager and desperate to make you come, to see you come, to feel you come.
your body arched into his hand, knowing who its owner was and willing to submit to his every whim. it felt like your mind was floating somewhere between earth and heaven, lost in space where there was no life, no time. only infinity.
it wasnât long before your vision brightened white and you swore you could see every star. your legs tightened their grip around his waist as you shuddered with ecstasy, and your mouth hung open as you moaned.
âthatâs it,â jaehyun crooned. âgood girl. youâre amazing, doll.â
you stilled after a moment, sated.Â
the sensation of your cunt gushing tightly around him as you orgasmed made jaehyun moan himself, and you listened to the sounds of your heat kneading his cock as he used your cunt to push himself to the end. it had felt so good to you too; having something to grip on as you came made the experience all that much better.
âcome for me, daddy,â you said, trying to coax the orgasm out of him. âcome inside your doll⊠i need it.â
that did it. hearing you referring to yourself as his doll sent him completely over the edge and you gasped out loud when you felt jaehyun dumping his thick, sticky hot load into your cunt with the deepest grunt of your name. it was so good, so warm. you held eye contact with him the entire time, not once daring to look away even as his hips slowed to a stop.
for a long moment, you both simply lay there in each otherâs arms, neither of you wanting to move when you were this close. but you did pull him in for another heated kiss, because you couldnât think of another way to somehow bring yourself even closer. jaehyun kissed you back passionately, holding your body against his protectively, almost as if he was afraid youâd be taken from him too.
you thought nothing could ruin the moment. then, out of the blue, your phone rang. you and jaehyun both let out a collective sigh of exasperation and you withdrew to peak at your phone on your nightstand, wholeheartedly expecting it to be your mother.
your eyes went wide when you saw that it was jaemin.
and you wouldnât have answered it, but you needed to call it quits anyway. though you initially planned to meet him in person, in that moment, you decided he didnât deserve to see you again in his life. âhello?â you answered.
âbaby, you picked up,â jaemin said, sounding amazed. âlisten to me, baby. iâm so sorry i havenât been answering your calls. i just needed some space, you understand that, right?â
before he could utter another word, the phone was abruptly snatched from your hands. âdonât call my daughter again, or i swear to god, i will find you, and then i will fuck you up,â jaehyun hissed.Â
he hung up without another word and tossed the phone to the side.
you gawked at his words, but you both felt the way youâd throbbed. âdaddy!â
âquiet,â jaehyun said, withdrawing from inside you. ânow show me what you did to the bunny.â
happy thanksgiving to everyone that celebrates!!!! iâm sorry i havenât been as active⊠school is kicking me in the BUTT and so is my fuck ass job but i promise once i finish this last week iâll be a bit more active đ« kisses to u all
bruh iâm done with school but iâm kinda going through it rn yâall i gotta be honestâŠ. iâm sorry
happy thanksgiving to everyone that celebrates!!!! iâm sorry i havenât been as active⊠school is kicking me in the BUTT and so is my fuck ass job but i promise once i finish this last week iâll be a bit more active đ« kisses to u all
guilty pleasure - park jisung
pairing: jisung x afab reader
wc: 764
warnings: virgin!jisung, praising, kissing, overstimulation, dry humping, handjob, crying, jisung cums in his pants.
requests: open!
A/N: this is based on a reddit post i saw on twitter and i thought it SCREAMMED jisung. I put my own lil twist to it thođ«¶đŸ hope you guys enjoy! feedback highly appreciated :)
âfuckâ s-shit!â you pulled back from your boyfriend's lips scanning his face for any type of discomfort.
âji? whatâs wrongââ jisung froze and so did you. you looked down at his lap seeing a clear visible stain over his sweatpants. he tried his best to cover his lap with his hands giggling when he kept apologizing to you repeatedly.
âbaby itâs okayâ jisung knew you didnât care about him cumming in his pants but he did. It was embarrassing. and he would much rather not have his sweatpants be sticky every time you two kissed. you and jisung have been dating a little over a year now and youâve only had heavy makeout sessions. jisung was a virgin and wanted to wait which you respected but every time you two made out he felt his urges were growing stronger. even feeling the need to finally masturbate for the first time but he couldnât bring himself to do it. Not yet.
you could kiss him for five seconds and heâs pulling back trying to calm himself down not wanting to cum. If you squeezed his thigh or got a little handsy he would stop you before continuing to get his heart rate to slow down. jisung didnât understand why you didnât freak out over him cumming in his pants but you honestly found it cute and it gave you a bit of a confidence boost.
Itâs been almost a month since you last made out with jisung and you were starting to miss it. jisung was avoiding another makeout sesh too scared heâll cum in his pants again. he avoided any type of long kisses from you, always feeling his cock get rock hard when your lips begin to linger a little too long. jisung was proud of himself for keeping his cool for a month hoping the next time the two of you made out it wonât leave his pants sticky.
jisung arrived at your apartment with flowers in his hands and a smile on his face. excited to take you on a date after not seeing you for a while.
âbaby?â he called, walking in your apartment âin here!â you shouted back from your bedroom bathroom.
jisung smiled once again hearing your voice as he made his way to your bedroom mouth going completely dry he saw you step out the bathroom. your black long dress hugged your body in all the right places. you smelt like his favorite perfume and you had on the promise ring he got you a while back.
âyou look beautifulâ jisung breathed out, handing you the roses. âthank you babyâ you cooed quickly pecking his lips. jisung kissed you again this time deepening the kiss catching you by surprise making you drop the flowers. he pushed you back on the bed hovering over you. you wrapped your arms tightly around jisungâs neck while your plush lips move in sync against his.
jisung could already feel himself getting hard humping against your leg to get some type of friction. you moaned at the contact, his hard cock pressing in between your legs rubbing against your clit.
âgonna cum gonna cumâ jisung chanted out between kisses, his hips stuttering as he came staining his black jeans.
âpleaseâ he panted. âtouch me pleaseâ jisung was already pulling his still hard cock out his pants before you could even say anything. his cock red and dripping in his cum.
you slowly started pumping his cock in your hand jisung closing his eyes at the touch. whimpering at the overstimulation.
âdoes it feel good ji?â you asked kissing at his neck jisung letting out another whimper ây-yesâ
you felt your panties sticking to your cunt as you got jisung off. his whines of your name and the way he bucked his hips in your fist turned you on so much.
âbabyâ iâm close againâ jisung's voice cracked as he rested his head on your chest, his second orgasm approaching quickly. you felt a tear fall onto your shoulder looking at jisung. his sweet moans started to turn into small sobs.
âiâm gonna fucking cumâ he cried out ropes of cum hitting your dress watching jisung legs shake as he comes down from his high. still letting out small sobs from the overstimulation.
âoh jiâ you cooed, pushing his now sweaty hair out his face. âyou did so good baby so goodâ leaving a kiss on his forehead.
jisung kissed your lips again, biting at your bottom lip. he pulled back scanning your face
âneed to fuck you next time. pleaseâ
GUILTY PLEASURE AT 800 NOTES WE ARE SOOOO BACK!!!!!
yâall donât understand how horny this just made me
âokay, but maybe just think about it?â you look away from your laptop to where jeno stands behind you on the couch.
he looks down at you with furrowed brows. almost everyday you come to him with the freakiest ideas. he doesnât know what to expect anymore. you always take him by surprise.
ây/n, baby, love of my life, i know i indulge your ideas because as your boyfriend, why would i not? but this?â he gestures to the ghostface costume displayed on the screen. youâve yet to actually checkout, but it is in your cart.
âcan i not have fantasies now?â you sigh, turning to look back at the costume. âif it helps to convince you, i think youâd look really hot.â
âi just think itâs a little insane, is all.â
âsooo, is that a yes iâm hearing?â
-
and now youâre face down, ass up while your boyfriend pounds into you from behind. youâve got no choice but to take it. it was what you wanted after all.
âholy fuck,â you moan, gripping the pillow beneath you. âfuck, fuck, fuck!â your skin felt hot, you felt sticky with sweat, hair a mess, but you couldnât be more satisfied.
you grind back against him, taking a look behind you to see him in the mask. you bite your lip and grin, your pussy clenching around his cock. he slaps your ass and brings his hands back to massage the flesh.
âmm, love you.â you moan, wrapping your ankles around his thighs, moving your hips in slow circles and he lets you, pausing his thrusts to watch you grind on him.
-
after you both cum, he removes the mask and looks down at you and lets out a breathy laugh. you, who now lays beneath him completely fucked out. your eyes fighting to stay open with a little satisfied smile on your face.
âso much better than i imagined.â
-
has this been written about too many times? yeaaah but i had to! this has been on the brain for a month and in the drafts for like two weeks <(˶á”á”á”˶)>
HII đœ i saw that youâre a black nct writer and had to follow!! ALSO JUST READ THE LITTLE JISUNG STORY AND IT WAS SO GOOD!!!
YESSS HIIII BAEEE đ«¶đŸđ«¶đŸ THANK U SOOO MUCH !!!
HOW MANY FOLLOWERS?!!!?!
guilty pleasure - park jisung
pairing: jisung x afab reader
wc: 764
warnings: virgin!jisung, praising, kissing, overstimulation, dry humping, handjob, crying, jisung cums in his pants.
requests: open!
A/N: this is based on a reddit post i saw on twitter and i thought it SCREAMMED jisung. I put my own lil twist to it thođ«¶đŸ hope you guys enjoy! feedback highly appreciated :)
âfuckâ s-shit!â you pulled back from your boyfriend's lips scanning his face for any type of discomfort.
âji? whatâs wrongââ jisung froze and so did you. you looked down at his lap seeing a clear visible stain over his sweatpants. he tried his best to cover his lap with his hands giggling when he kept apologizing to you repeatedly.
âbaby itâs okayâ jisung knew you didnât care about him cumming in his pants but he did. It was embarrassing. and he would much rather not have his sweatpants be sticky every time you two kissed. you and jisung have been dating a little over a year now and youâve only had heavy makeout sessions. jisung was a virgin and wanted to wait which you respected but every time you two made out he felt his urges were growing stronger. even feeling the need to finally masturbate for the first time but he couldnât bring himself to do it. Not yet.
you could kiss him for five seconds and heâs pulling back trying to calm himself down not wanting to cum. If you squeezed his thigh or got a little handsy he would stop you before continuing to get his heart rate to slow down. jisung didnât understand why you didnât freak out over him cumming in his pants but you honestly found it cute and it gave you a bit of a confidence boost.
Itâs been almost a month since you last made out with jisung and you were starting to miss it. jisung was avoiding another makeout sesh too scared heâll cum in his pants again. he avoided any type of long kisses from you, always feeling his cock get rock hard when your lips begin to linger a little too long. jisung was proud of himself for keeping his cool for a month hoping the next time the two of you made out it wonât leave his pants sticky.
jisung arrived at your apartment with flowers in his hands and a smile on his face. excited to take you on a date after not seeing you for a while.
âbaby?â he called, walking in your apartment âin here!â you shouted back from your bedroom bathroom.
jisung smiled once again hearing your voice as he made his way to your bedroom mouth going completely dry he saw you step out the bathroom. your black long dress hugged your body in all the right places. you smelt like his favorite perfume and you had on the promise ring he got you a while back.
âyou look beautifulâ jisung breathed out, handing you the roses. âthank you babyâ you cooed quickly pecking his lips. jisung kissed you again this time deepening the kiss catching you by surprise making you drop the flowers. he pushed you back on the bed hovering over you. you wrapped your arms tightly around jisungâs neck while your plush lips move in sync against his.
jisung could already feel himself getting hard humping against your leg to get some type of friction. you moaned at the contact, his hard cock pressing in between your legs rubbing against your clit.
âgonna cum gonna cumâ jisung chanted out between kisses, his hips stuttering as he came staining his black jeans.
âpleaseâ he panted. âtouch me pleaseâ jisung was already pulling his still hard cock out his pants before you could even say anything. his cock red and dripping in his cum.
you slowly started pumping his cock in your hand jisung closing his eyes at the touch. whimpering at the overstimulation.
âdoes it feel good ji?â you asked kissing at his neck jisung letting out another whimper ây-yesâ
you felt your panties sticking to your cunt as you got jisung off. his whines of your name and the way he bucked his hips in your fist turned you on so much.
âbabyâ iâm close againâ jisung's voice cracked as he rested his head on your chest, his second orgasm approaching quickly. you felt a tear fall onto your shoulder looking at jisung. his sweet moans started to turn into small sobs.
âiâm gonna fucking cumâ he cried out ropes of cum hitting your dress watching jisung legs shake as he comes down from his high. still letting out small sobs from the overstimulation.
âoh jiâ you cooed, pushing his now sweaty hair out his face. âyou did so good baby so goodâ leaving a kiss on his forehead.
jisung kissed your lips again, biting at your bottom lip. he pulled back scanning your face
âneed to fuck you next time. pleaseâ
somethingâs missing. â Lee Donghyuck
PAIRING. haechan x fem reader
GENRE. smut
WARNINGS. blackmailing, dubcon themes, unprotected sex, crying, slapping, oral, degradation, forced breeding, stalking of socials, non-consented recording. big d!ck haechan agenda.
WC. 2.1K
A/N: miss the dreamies so bad it got me writing againđȘ please enjoy this smut that iâve been working on for a while that only @2cupids has known about LOL. feedback is so highly appreciated itâs been so long!! proof read but not rly oops. hope you enjoy:â)
Haechan scoffed when he viewed your story. Jealousy washing over his body when he saw you kissing another man on the cheek. the caption reading happy one month with a pink heart emoji. âUnbelievableâ he mumbled to himself, tossing his phone. Surely you were only posting that to make him upset right?
You and haechan parted ways a long time ago. Two years ago to be exact haechan still believing you loved him and only moved on to get a reaction out of him. Which.. wasnât true. You stopped worrying about haechan the day you two broke up. Threatening to get a restraining order made him back off a little, giving you the chance to call the quits. Haechan tried to rationalize with you saying he couldnât live without you and wanted to remain good friends even if you two werenât together anymore. You were easy to manipulate though that quickly came to an end.
Your âfriendshipâ lasted maybe a good week before you stopped returning his phone calls and blocked him on everything. Now here you are two years later in a happy relationship, new friends, and even a better job. Haechan hasnât even crossed your mind since youâve been with Jake, finally feeling safe in a relationship for once.
Haechan on the other hand still kept tabs on you. Though you blocked him and all his friends he still had an old burner account he used to stalk your socials. He was happy to see you happy but hated that it wasnât him being there for you and all your new accomplishments. He hated seeing you under another man. He hated that you were purposely posting all this to make him jealous. To make him react this way.
He shakes his head, smacking his dry lips together, how could you just move on that easily?
Haechan had to think of a way to get you back into his life again.
You laid your head on your boyfriend's chest as you slowly began to drift off to sleep. Your phone buzzed ignoring the first two times it went off getting up to check it the third time it buzzed. The number that texted you was a number you didn't save or recognize, figuring someone just had the wrong number. Your eyes went wide at the three video attachments of you fucking haechan and giving him head. âWhy does he still have these?â You asked yourself. Your heart sank at the following messages. He found you yet again.
Unknown: Remember these?
Unknown: Oh how I miss you and your tongue. I still watch these videos to get myself off
Unknown: come on y/n donât ignore me :((
Unknown: maybe i should send these videos to jake huh? show him how much fun we used to have.
You froze at the text.. How did he know who Jake was?
You: please delete those videos haechan. seriously please
Unknown: look who finally decided to reply!
Unknown: come over and maybe iâll consider deleting
You: please donât do this again. just delete them and we both can go our separate ways donghyuck.
Unknown: either you come over or i send it to him. your call
Haechan smiled to himself when you texted you were on the way. He was going to make you his again.
Haechan decided to tidy up the place before your arrival, spraying some cheap air freshener in his living room to make his apartment seem more comfortable. He wanted seeing you again to be memorable, setting up a camera in the far left corner in his living room hiding it good enough so you wouldnât see. His hands felt sweaty and his heart rate was increasing, butterflies filling his tummy. He couldnât believe he was actually about to see you, a grin slowly creeping on his face.
You had a horrible feeling about how this whole thing was going to go. Haechan never takes no for an answer and you had a gut feeling it was going to take everything in you to get him to delete those old videos. The pit of your stomach began to drop when you arrived at his apartment. Horrible flashbacks started playing in the back of your head when you parked your car. letâs just get this over with you thought to yourself as you approached Haechanâs door.
Itâs like he could feel your presence at the door opening it before you even knocked. He smiled, âhiâ
âhey..â you mumbled under your breath barely looking at him.
Haechan opened the door wider welcoming you in. Everything was still the same.. the exact same. Same old raggedy furniture that he shouldâve thrown away years ago. Even your old pictures of the two of you were hanging on the wall. All the memories between you two begin to flood your mind and you need to get haechan to delete these videos so you could leave and never think about him again.
âCome sit,â Haechan patted his thigh, that shit eating grin resting on his lips. You didnât want to upset or trigger anything obeying everything he asked you to do. You sat on his knee, hands resting uncomfortably in your lap. âSo tell me whatâs been new? How are things with your little boyfriend?â he asked, moving your hair out of your face to see you better, making you close your eyes at his touch. âThings are okay...â
âJust okay?â he asked emphasizing on âjustâ
âthings are good..â you corrected yourself trying to shift off his lap a bit haechan pulling you closer to him squeezing your thigh. âWhy are you trying to run away from me?â He asked with a slight pout to his lips
âHaechan.. pleaseâ your voice was barely above a whisper refusing to make eye contact with him. âI just want you to delete the videos so we can go our separate ways againâ
âCome on, you donât miss me?â you didnât reply quick enough for his liking making haechan pull you all the way onto his lap a gasp leaving your lips as you now straddled him.
âHaechanâ you called softly âohh now you can hear meâ he let out a teasing laugh rubbing his hands up and down your thigh.
âplease..â you begged once again. Haechan rubbed your cheek so softly and sweet like he actually cared about anything you were asking him for. He reached in the front of his pocket pulling his phone out unlocking it and showing you his messages. The video of you two already loaded up to be sent to jake. All it took was one press.
âHaechan please stopâ you cry, âiâll do anything!â you blurted out reaching for the phone.
Haechan locked it and looked down at you. And there it was. He knew you were gonna eventually give in.
He rests his arms on the couch looking at your head tilted to the side. âGet on your kneesâ
You hesitated getting off his lap kneeling between his spread legs. Your hands were shaking unbuckling his jeans only pulling his pants down far enough to free his cock. Haechan hisses at the cool air hitting his tip dripping in pre-cum. your lips glide over his length trying your best to fit him in your mouth. bobbing your head back and forth gently Haechan getting impatient with this little act you were putting up. Youâve sucked his dick plenty of times. Why are you acting like you donât know what you are doing?
He grabbed a fistful of your hair making you yelp âAre you trying to piss me off huh?â he slapped you across the face making you close your eyes from the sting.
You shook your head no. âI canât hear youâ he slaps you again, a tear falling down your cheek. âno..â you sniffled.
âThen do it rightâ he pushed your head back down onto his cock doing the work for you.
âfuckâ he mumbled under his breath pushing your face all the way down on his cock almost cumming on the spot watching you gag. You pinched at his thigh trying to get him to let go so you could breathe but Haechan didnât care. He just wanted to get his dick wet by his favorite girl.
He finally pulled you up smirking at the way you gasped for air. He let out a moan at the sight of you. Drool and spit dripping down your chin and chest. Eyes filled with tears. He loved seeing you all messy like this. He swore his cock got harder from you crying. For him it was his favorite site. He grabbed you by the jaw guiding you back to his lap.
âSit on itâ you sniffled again wanting to tell him no but couldnât risk making him more upset. Taking a step back to take your shorts and panties off. You align his cock up with your entrance gripping onto his shoulders to help steady yourself. Haechan surprisingly lets you take your time easing down on his cock the stretch feeling unbelievable.
Haechan let out a sigh when you finally sat all the way. Hands gripping your hips âstill so fucking tightâ shitâ
ây/nâ you gotta move or fuckâ iâll fuck up into youâ you let your hands rest on his shoulder slowly beginning to bouce up and down.
âit hurts.. youâre too bigâ you mumbled in between sobs.
âJake doesnât fill you up this well does he baby?â you close your eyes at the mention of Jake. Feeling completely horrible for even doing this.
âYou missed me didnât you?â Haechan asked, thrusting up into you watching the way you bite your lip to hold back your moan.
your legs were growing weak and you felt like you could cum in any second. You wanted to keep your eyes closed but couldnât help but look at the way haechan was so into it. His head was thrown back resting against the couch as he helped you bounce on his big cock. Lip snuck between his teeth watching the way his cock goes in and out of your sweet cunt.
âitâs so big,â you whimpered. âI know babyâ Haechan cooed wiping at your tears.
âmissed you and this pretty fucking pussy so muchâ he shook his head, âcanât believe you stayed this tightâ
you tried to ignore his words grabbing at his shoulders so hard you were sure heâll have marks in the morning.
âso pathetic your boyfriend canât get you off the way i canâ
âstopâ you managed to mumble out. âWhat's wrong? donât like it when i talk about your sweet boyfriend?â he teased.
âHow do you think heâll feel if he saw you right now? Whoring yourself out like this for me?â the tears wouldnât stop. You hid your face in his shoulder begging him to stop bringing Jake up.
He let out a laugh at the way you hid yourself rubbing circles in your clit. âHaechan please.. stopâ you werenât even sure if you were letting out real words anymore. Your head was dizzy and full off of being a shitty girlfriend and Haechan.
âYouâre so fucking close i know youâ he laughed. âCumming from the thought of your boyfriend seeing us fuck hm? Pretty fucked up way of thinking huh pretty girl?â The tears wouldnât stop still hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
âyouâre only crying because you feel bad for enjoying thisâ you begin to sob harder because heâs right.
You didnât miss haechan and you didnât miss your relationship but you missed this. The sex life. His big cock that he only enjoyed abusing on you. You love Jake and everything about him but you knew for a fact he wouldnât fill you up the way Haechan is right now.
âGonna cum in youâ Haechan groaned, closing his eyes shut. You jolted up at his words telling him no.
âGonna cum in your sweet cuntâ Haechan moaned again ignoring your first protest.
âHaechan you canât! iâm not on the pillââ he covered your mouth with his left hand tossing his head back as he came in you. Filling you up so good. You closed your eyes at the feeling letting another tear fall down your cheek. Haechan finally took his hand off your mouth trying to catch his breath.
He unlocked his phone showing you to your face that the videos are gone. Deleting all three. You still sat there cheeks puffy and eyes swollen red from all your crying. Haechan wiped your face and kissed your cheeks.
âYou donât have to worry anymore okay? itâs all doneâ you gave him a nod getting off to clean yourself up before heading home. You couldn't wait to be back in Jakeâs arms again.
When you left his apartment haechan promised not to contact you. Apologizing for bothering you in the first place again. You felt pretty good about it this time not feeling the need to block him on anything.
Haechan reached behind his flower pot, stopping the video he recorded. He smiled to himself when he hit play hearing your sobs and pleads. God it was good enough to get him hard again but not tonight. He uploaded the video to his laptop adding to a folder labeled ây/nâ where he kept all videos and pictures of you over the past two years. He walked up to his calendar lifting up the page to October. Circling October 21st. Thatâs when heâll text you again with another video, surprise. He couldnât believe how easy this was again.
He finally had your trust back.
FIRST OF ALL I WANNA SAY HOW GOOD THIS WAS HOLY SHITâŒïž THE ENDING HAD ME GAGGED THIS WAS GOOD ASF 10/10đ«¶đŸ
AAAAA THANK YOUUU SMM LOVEBUG đđ U DA BEST !!!!
somethingâs missing. â Lee Donghyuck
PAIRING. haechan x fem reader
GENRE. smut
WARNINGS. blackmailing, dubcon themes, unprotected sex, crying, slapping, oral, degradation, forced breeding, stalking of socials, non-consented recording. big d!ck haechan agenda.
WC. 2.1K
A/N: miss the dreamies so bad it got me writing againđȘ please enjoy this smut that iâve been working on for a while that only @2cupids has known about LOL. feedback is so highly appreciated itâs been so long!! proof read but not rly oops. hope you enjoy:â)
Haechan scoffed when he viewed your story. Jealousy washing over his body when he saw you kissing another man on the cheek. the caption reading happy one month with a pink heart emoji. âUnbelievableâ he mumbled to himself, tossing his phone. Surely you were only posting that to make him upset right?
You and haechan parted ways a long time ago. Two years ago to be exact haechan still believing you loved him and only moved on to get a reaction out of him. Which.. wasnât true. You stopped worrying about haechan the day you two broke up. Threatening to get a restraining order made him back off a little, giving you the chance to call the quits. Haechan tried to rationalize with you saying he couldnât live without you and wanted to remain good friends even if you two werenât together anymore. You were easy to manipulate though that quickly came to an end.
Your âfriendshipâ lasted maybe a good week before you stopped returning his phone calls and blocked him on everything. Now here you are two years later in a happy relationship, new friends, and even a better job. Haechan hasnât even crossed your mind since youâve been with Jake, finally feeling safe in a relationship for once.
Haechan on the other hand still kept tabs on you. Though you blocked him and all his friends he still had an old burner account he used to stalk your socials. He was happy to see you happy but hated that it wasnât him being there for you and all your new accomplishments. He hated seeing you under another man. He hated that you were purposely posting all this to make him jealous. To make him react this way.
He shakes his head, smacking his dry lips together, how could you just move on that easily?
Haechan had to think of a way to get you back into his life again.
You laid your head on your boyfriend's chest as you slowly began to drift off to sleep. Your phone buzzed ignoring the first two times it went off getting up to check it the third time it buzzed. The number that texted you was a number you didn't save or recognize, figuring someone just had the wrong number. Your eyes went wide at the three video attachments of you fucking haechan and giving him head. âWhy does he still have these?â You asked yourself. Your heart sank at the following messages. He found you yet again.
Unknown: Remember these?
Unknown: Oh how I miss you and your tongue. I still watch these videos to get myself off
Unknown: come on y/n donât ignore me :((
Unknown: maybe i should send these videos to jake huh? show him how much fun we used to have.
You froze at the text.. How did he know who Jake was?
You: please delete those videos haechan. seriously please
Unknown: look who finally decided to reply!
Unknown: come over and maybe iâll consider deleting
You: please donât do this again. just delete them and we both can go our separate ways donghyuck.
Unknown: either you come over or i send it to him. your call
Haechan smiled to himself when you texted you were on the way. He was going to make you his again.
Haechan decided to tidy up the place before your arrival, spraying some cheap air freshener in his living room to make his apartment seem more comfortable. He wanted seeing you again to be memorable, setting up a camera in the far left corner in his living room hiding it good enough so you wouldnât see. His hands felt sweaty and his heart rate was increasing, butterflies filling his tummy. He couldnât believe he was actually about to see you, a grin slowly creeping on his face.
You had a horrible feeling about how this whole thing was going to go. Haechan never takes no for an answer and you had a gut feeling it was going to take everything in you to get him to delete those old videos. The pit of your stomach began to drop when you arrived at his apartment. Horrible flashbacks started playing in the back of your head when you parked your car. letâs just get this over with you thought to yourself as you approached Haechanâs door.
Itâs like he could feel your presence at the door opening it before you even knocked. He smiled, âhiâ
âhey..â you mumbled under your breath barely looking at him.
Haechan opened the door wider welcoming you in. Everything was still the same.. the exact same. Same old raggedy furniture that he shouldâve thrown away years ago. Even your old pictures of the two of you were hanging on the wall. All the memories between you two begin to flood your mind and you need to get haechan to delete these videos so you could leave and never think about him again.
âCome sit,â Haechan patted his thigh, that shit eating grin resting on his lips. You didnât want to upset or trigger anything obeying everything he asked you to do. You sat on his knee, hands resting uncomfortably in your lap. âSo tell me whatâs been new? How are things with your little boyfriend?â he asked, moving your hair out of your face to see you better, making you close your eyes at his touch. âThings are okay...â
âJust okay?â he asked emphasizing on âjustâ
âthings are good..â you corrected yourself trying to shift off his lap a bit haechan pulling you closer to him squeezing your thigh. âWhy are you trying to run away from me?â He asked with a slight pout to his lips
âHaechan.. pleaseâ your voice was barely above a whisper refusing to make eye contact with him. âI just want you to delete the videos so we can go our separate ways againâ
âCome on, you donât miss me?â you didnât reply quick enough for his liking making haechan pull you all the way onto his lap a gasp leaving your lips as you now straddled him.
âHaechanâ you called softly âohh now you can hear meâ he let out a teasing laugh rubbing his hands up and down your thigh.
âplease..â you begged once again. Haechan rubbed your cheek so softly and sweet like he actually cared about anything you were asking him for. He reached in the front of his pocket pulling his phone out unlocking it and showing you his messages. The video of you two already loaded up to be sent to jake. All it took was one press.
âHaechan please stopâ you cry, âiâll do anything!â you blurted out reaching for the phone.
Haechan locked it and looked down at you. And there it was. He knew you were gonna eventually give in.
He rests his arms on the couch looking at your head tilted to the side. âGet on your kneesâ
You hesitated getting off his lap kneeling between his spread legs. Your hands were shaking unbuckling his jeans only pulling his pants down far enough to free his cock. Haechan hisses at the cool air hitting his tip dripping in pre-cum. your lips glide over his length trying your best to fit him in your mouth. bobbing your head back and forth gently Haechan getting impatient with this little act you were putting up. Youâve sucked his dick plenty of times. Why are you acting like you donât know what you are doing?
He grabbed a fistful of your hair making you yelp âAre you trying to piss me off huh?â he slapped you across the face making you close your eyes from the sting.
You shook your head no. âI canât hear youâ he slaps you again, a tear falling down your cheek. âno..â you sniffled.
âThen do it rightâ he pushed your head back down onto his cock doing the work for you.
âfuckâ he mumbled under his breath pushing your face all the way down on his cock almost cumming on the spot watching you gag. You pinched at his thigh trying to get him to let go so you could breathe but Haechan didnât care. He just wanted to get his dick wet by his favorite girl.
He finally pulled you up smirking at the way you gasped for air. He let out a moan at the sight of you. Drool and spit dripping down your chin and chest. Eyes filled with tears. He loved seeing you all messy like this. He swore his cock got harder from you crying. For him it was his favorite site. He grabbed you by the jaw guiding you back to his lap.
âSit on itâ you sniffled again wanting to tell him no but couldnât risk making him more upset. Taking a step back to take your shorts and panties off. You align his cock up with your entrance gripping onto his shoulders to help steady yourself. Haechan surprisingly lets you take your time easing down on his cock the stretch feeling unbelievable.
Haechan let out a sigh when you finally sat all the way. Hands gripping your hips âstill so fucking tightâ shitâ
ây/nâ you gotta move or fuckâ iâll fuck up into youâ you let your hands rest on his shoulder slowly beginning to bouce up and down.
âit hurts.. youâre too bigâ you mumbled in between sobs.
âJake doesnât fill you up this well does he baby?â you close your eyes at the mention of Jake. Feeling completely horrible for even doing this.
âYou missed me didnât you?â Haechan asked, thrusting up into you watching the way you bite your lip to hold back your moan.
your legs were growing weak and you felt like you could cum in any second. You wanted to keep your eyes closed but couldnât help but look at the way haechan was so into it. His head was thrown back resting against the couch as he helped you bounce on his big cock. Lip snuck between his teeth watching the way his cock goes in and out of your sweet cunt.
âitâs so big,â you whimpered. âI know babyâ Haechan cooed wiping at your tears.
âmissed you and this pretty fucking pussy so muchâ he shook his head, âcanât believe you stayed this tightâ
you tried to ignore his words grabbing at his shoulders so hard you were sure heâll have marks in the morning.
âso pathetic your boyfriend canât get you off the way i canâ
âstopâ you managed to mumble out. âWhat's wrong? donât like it when i talk about your sweet boyfriend?â he teased.
âHow do you think heâll feel if he saw you right now? Whoring yourself out like this for me?â the tears wouldnât stop. You hid your face in his shoulder begging him to stop bringing Jake up.
He let out a laugh at the way you hid yourself rubbing circles in your clit. âHaechan please.. stopâ you werenât even sure if you were letting out real words anymore. Your head was dizzy and full off of being a shitty girlfriend and Haechan.
âYouâre so fucking close i know youâ he laughed. âCumming from the thought of your boyfriend seeing us fuck hm? Pretty fucked up way of thinking huh pretty girl?â The tears wouldnât stop still hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
âyouâre only crying because you feel bad for enjoying thisâ you begin to sob harder because heâs right.
You didnât miss haechan and you didnât miss your relationship but you missed this. The sex life. His big cock that he only enjoyed abusing on you. You love Jake and everything about him but you knew for a fact he wouldnât fill you up the way Haechan is right now.
âGonna cum in youâ Haechan groaned, closing his eyes shut. You jolted up at his words telling him no.
âGonna cum in your sweet cuntâ Haechan moaned again ignoring your first protest.
âHaechan you canât! iâm not on the pillââ he covered your mouth with his left hand tossing his head back as he came in you. Filling you up so good. You closed your eyes at the feeling letting another tear fall down your cheek. Haechan finally took his hand off your mouth trying to catch his breath.
He unlocked his phone showing you to your face that the videos are gone. Deleting all three. You still sat there cheeks puffy and eyes swollen red from all your crying. Haechan wiped your face and kissed your cheeks.
âYou donât have to worry anymore okay? itâs all doneâ you gave him a nod getting off to clean yourself up before heading home. You couldn't wait to be back in Jakeâs arms again.
When you left his apartment haechan promised not to contact you. Apologizing for bothering you in the first place again. You felt pretty good about it this time not feeling the need to block him on anything.
Haechan reached behind his flower pot, stopping the video he recorded. He smiled to himself when he hit play hearing your sobs and pleads. God it was good enough to get him hard again but not tonight. He uploaded the video to his laptop adding to a folder labeled ây/nâ where he kept all videos and pictures of you over the past two years. He walked up to his calendar lifting up the page to October. Circling October 21st. Thatâs when heâll text you again with another video, surprise. He couldnât believe how easy this was again.
He finally had your trust back.
iâm sure everyone has been seeing the news around and considering that i have a semi-platform here as a writer, i donât feel comfortable not acknowledging or saying anything given the news this morning.
i want to make it extremely clear that i have zero tolerance for sexual and mental abuse towards women. period. what taeil did is extremely disgusting and disappointing and i would no longer like to be associated with him as a fan.
moving forward, any and all content mentioning him on my page has been removed and i will not be writing about or mentioning him whatsoever. if you still believe that he is an innocent man or wish to be an apologist, unfollow me immediately and do not interact with any of my content.
i hope this brave young woman can begin to find peace away from her abuser and more can begin to come forward to get the justice they deserve.
believe victims.
please unfollow me if you are an israel supporter. this is a pro palestine account. please do not try to argue with me about this. israel is committing mass genocide against the palestinian people. this is not coming from antisemitism because i am not anti-jewish people, i am simply anti israeli government and itâs mission to wipe out the palestinian people. if you are angered by this or feel like our beliefs do not align, then please unfollow me because you are not the type of person i want associated with me.
i also do not want to hear anyone saying that this has nothing to do with fanfiction and this isnât something that we need to be talking about. it is so important to keep the people of gaza in your hearts and minds. human lives should be collateral damage as a heavily armed state forcefully occupies palestine.
this is not a war between israel and palestine, it is not even a war between israel and hamas. this is the mass genocide and ethnic cleansing of the palestinian people.
bambi ËÌ”áŽËÌ” how are you doing baee
my baby tay hiiiiđ€ iâve been good!! how are youuu
Trick or Treat- J.J
PAIRING. jaehyun x afab reader
GENRE. smut
WARNINGS. unprotected sex, choking, squirting, creampie, jaehyun watches reader get off
WC. 1.4k
A/N: happy october 1st!!!đđ€ a nice repost from 127kive (rip..) as i work on this haechan fic thatâs been in the drafts collecting dust... hope you enjoy! feedback is v much needed.. PLEASEEE
Jaehyun didnât mean for this to happen.
He didnât mean to watch his sexy new neighbor from across the street get off. But.. Could you blame him? You sat directly in front of your window blinds wide open chest on display as your fingers toyed with your clit. The first time he came across you he only looked for a second before quickly closing his curtains and looking away. He figured you didnât mean to have your blinds open, probably just forgetting to close them.
Jaehyun couldnât help but take a peek through his brown curtains yet again ears turning bright red as he watched you push two fingers in your cunt. He felt his pants become unbearably tight, quickly unzipping them pushing his pants down just enough to free his cock.
Biting at his lip as he watched you finger your cunt lazily stroking his cock letting out a groggy groan of your name tossing his head back
âfuck y/nâ
Jaehyun quickly cleans himself up mentally slapping himself in the face for getting off to his neighbor heâs met once. He tried splashing his face with some cool water telling himself he would never do something like that again. Of course⊠that was a lie.
Jaehyun would constantly check to see if you were back on your couch in the same position touching yourself again. and to his surprise you were. At this point Jaehyun swore you were starting to do it on purpose. And he was right.
You didnât notice Jaehyun until the third time you got off. Always in crunch time you figured why not just do a quick one again on the couch. When you went to close your blinds you could see Jaehyun peeking through his curtains making you quirk an eyebrow. Huh. You didnât think Jaehyun would do something so pervy but you didnât mind it. In fact you liked it. Jaehyun has always been your guy next door crush so the fact he watched you get off made you even more horny for him. Though you enjoyed having him watch you, you were tired of getting your own self off. You shot him a quick text letting him know you were throwing a halloween party and would love for him to come.
Replying within seconds sending you a small âiâll be there;)â in response. Your face felt warm from the text not being able to contain your happiness.
âTrick or Treat!â you smiled at the kids on your doorstep holding their bags open as you dropped candy in each of their buckets wishing them a happy halloween. Looking at your watch knowing that your guests will start arriving in seconds you decided to put more drinks out. Hearing the doorbell rang again shouting a quick âcoming!â as you rushed to grab it smiling when you saw Jaehyun.
He was dressed as Jack from Titanic, a grin on his face as he teasingly asked âtrick or treat?â
âcome inâ leading the way jaehyun closing the door behind him following you into the living room. âYou're here early, the party doesnât start till 9â you handed jaehyun a cup sitting across from him. âWell we do live across the street from each otherâ he chuckled taking a sip of his water
âThat's true.. or maybe you came early in hopes of watching me get off againâ Jaehyun choked on his drink putting the red solo cup on the coffee table. âIâIâm sorry what?â he asked with a nervous smile on his face. âyou think I didnât know?â getting up from your chair walking over to Jaehyun.
He rubbed his sweaty palms on his khaki pants as you approached him. âI saw you every time you peeked through your curtains watching me play with myselfâ Jaehyun's ears begin to turn bright red, feeling humiliated. Not knowing if he should fall to his knees and beg for your forgiveness or just straight up leave.
âWhy did you sit there and watch me when you could of came over and fucked me?â Jaehyun froze.
You.. liked him watching you? He couldnât believe what he was hearing. His eyes followed your hands as you undid his shirt legs coming up to straddle his waist. Grabbing his face roughly making him look at you âCan I touch you?â Jaehyun nodded the best he could as you gripped his chin âpleaseâ he mumbled. Smiling at how desperate he looked, releasing his chin as you kissed down his neck and chest. Licking a long strip up his nipple making him jump slightly at the feeling as you blew cool air on it watching it harden.
Sucking on the right nipple your hand playing with the left one Jaehyunâs hand squeezing at your thighs as much as he can. Feeling your red and black striped tights sticking to your core as Jaehyun moaned. âCome hereâ Jaehyun said breathlessly, grabbing you by your neck and gasping as he kissed you. You let out a moan wrapping your hand around Jaehyunâs as he held onto your throat grinding down on his bulge.
Jaehyun pulled back from the kiss making you gasp again âneed you to fuck me before the guest get hereâ quickly locking your legs around his waist as he laid you down on the couch not even bothering to pull your tights off ripping them open a cocky grin appearing on his face.
âNo panties? You had this all planned out huh?â questioning you as he undid his pants watching his every move, mouth watering at the sight of his cock. âWanted me just as bad as I wanted youâ he mumbled in your neck as he lined himself up with your cunt
âwanted you so bad jaehyun.. so baââ slightly arching your back off the couch as he pushed himself into your tight hole a loud gasp leaving your mouth from the stretch. It hurt so good. Jaehyun gave you no time to get used to his size fucking you like there was no damn tomorrow. Lazily kissing at your neck as he fucked you. Moans and whimpers spill from your mouth pulling Jaehyun by his hair to kiss his lips. Groaning in the kiss reaching a hand down to toy with your clit.
âI-It feels so g-good jaeâ whimpering as Jaehyun held your face âyeah? you feel good baby?â nodding repeatedly letting a tear slip down your cheek. âso.. fucking goodâ you say in between breaths Jaehyun smiles at you raising your leg on his shoulder to thrust deeper making you squeal in surprise.
âoh my fucking god! soââ clawing at his shoulder barely able to form a sentence âs-so deep! Jaehyun, it's soâ deep!â you whined out feeling your orgasm approaching quicker and quicker.
âI know baby I knowâ Jaehyun cooed while kissing your ear. You felt your legs begin to shake uncontrollably as you hit your orgasm scratching at Jaehyunâs back even harder. âFuck! Fuck! Pleaseâ squeezing your eyes shut as Jaehyun thrusted in you overstimulating you like it was nothing while he chased his orgasm.
âJaehyun please! i-i-â your vision was beginning to blur letting jaehyun use you as much as he wanted his cock stretching you out so good and filling you up so well. âD-Donât stopâ You grabbed his hand bringing it up for him to wrap around your neck âLook at meâ Jaehyun groaned out. Your eyes barely opening as you felt your second orgasm coming âw-want it in me jaeâ holding onto his hand as his thrust got sloppy and needier
âwant you to cum in me please Jaehyun pleaseâ you cried out cumming for the second time legs shaking loud whines and whimper leaving your dry lips
âfuck y/n shitâ Jaehyun groaned thrusting one last time filling you up to the brim with his cum. Your legs shook as he filled you up, his hand unwrapping from your throat pulling out and laying on the other side of the couch. At this point you didnât have it in you to have a party anymore. Jaehyun fucked you like he was never gonna fuck you again leaving you limpless and tired. Jaehyun sat up pushing his damp hair back buttoning up his shirt and tucking himself back into his pants.
âwas that your first time doing that?â you raised an eyebrow at him confused. âyou squirtedâ quickly sitting up seeing the huge wet spot on your couch cursing to yourself. How the fuck were you gonna cover that up before people arrived?
âyes it was.. i donât know why youâre surprised i did you were fucking me like crazyâ Jaehyun laughed at your comment earâs turning bright red again. âLet me get you cleaned up before everyone gets hereâ Jaehyun reached down to pick you up asking you which way to your room
âHow about I tell everyone the party is canceled and we watch halloween movies instead?â giving you a warm smile Jaehyun pecked your forehead before agreeing with you.
âDealâ
400 notesđđ we are so back