“Calamity” by Zayn Lyric Analysis
From the Album “Nobody Is Listening” (2021)
This is my analysis of what is being spoken about in Zayn’s song “Calamity”. I do not know Zayn nor anyone mentioned. My interpretation is from observations and research using what’s publicly available.
“Calamity” is the opening track to Zayn Malik on “Nobody Is Listening”. “Calamity” by Zayn is a rap style open letter about his very public life but yet still keeps his public presence to a minimum. When I write “tptb”, it means The Powers That Be. They are primarily the record label he’s signed to and his management and any other entity who has a legal/contractual say in what Zayn does. Tptb have forced a distorted often false image on Zayn that started from One Direction days that still continues today through his controlling and manipulative PR/bearding relationship with Gigi Hadid, her family, sabotage of his music from his record label RCA, his controlling management, and manipulation of the tabloids/media to the general public about Zayn. Though he is being controlled, he still has hope and love and his artistic expression which helps give him strength to persevere. The track ends with his hopeful outlook he will experience full freedom to be himself someday.
I’m going to break it down line by line because there’s a lot to unpack here.
A note: When I was looking for the lyrics online, many websites had varying words. I will be using the lyrics from the Official “Calamity” YouTube video description section.
Nostalgia
What a funny feeling
Nostalgia is looking back on an experience with excessively sentimental yearning for returning to it. Whereas a funny feeling describes a suspicious and bad hunch about something about to happen. There’s a contrast between the forward wary premonition “funny feeling” versus the fondness with which he looks at his history “nostalgia”. He looks back on how there was so much good in his life that compared to now, he has concern about what is in the future for him. He’s not seeing things going very well if it stays like they currently are. Nostalgia is looking back with so much fondness you overlook the negative that accompanied that time. For instance, there were negative things that happened during his time in 1D and how his departure from the band happened, but he still loved his time with them and still loves the boys. There’s nostalgia for his time with them as a band.
I feel depleted
From feelings I've been revealing
He’s giving his all by opening himself up with a vulnerability that takes a lot from him. To feel depleted means you’ve exhausted yourself to the point of having nothing left. This has a strong reference to the title of the album as “nobody is listening”. He’s exhausted by how much he feels he’s expressing but it’s “falling on deaf ears”. Instead of having a fulfilling and connecting experience while he is openly exposing his feelings, they’re getting lost in communication and not acknowledged or understood. It’s wearing on him.
it’s do or die I'm not going willing
“It’s do or die” means taking a huge risk in order to avoid failure. Though it’s a pretty common idiom, knowing Zayn has a passion for English, he could’ve gotten it from its originating poem by Robert Burns about the first War of Scottish Independence. The things he is bringing up, or not being allowed to talk about, have enough intensity to which he needs to show great strength. It hints at an oppression (prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control) he is facing.
The large amount of forcing they’re doing to make Zayn go along with the stunting, closeting, and having to pretend, is really intense. The severity of what’s going on requires action but yet there’s a danger to stand up against doing the things that are threatening him. He doesn’t want to be seen as a passive participant in what’s being forced on him. He has a resilience in his nature that keeps him going. He’s in circumstances that are going against everything he stands for as he sees it as a battle of opposing forces. It’s him versus them. He’s trying to do everything he can to not play along with the show (Vibez music video). Try as they might, he’s not going to take part in the lies and manipulation eagerly without a fight. He’s fighting against the bullshit that’s put out to the public. Can definitely be referencing Zigi and the Hadid family, the backlash he unfairly was subjected to from the powers that be when he left 1D, and the false narratives by the tabloids/media. He’s painted as a bad guy when convenient by Gigi (during their breakup and then recently trying to suggest he’s an absent father through acting like everything is all on her plate and taking pap pics while pushing baby carriage), the Hadid family, and Simon Cowell through his unfair villainization through Zayn’s 1D departure, and how his record label RCA mishandles his music. There could also be others who are actively trying to sabotage him we are unaware of as well. Any of his fans who are supporting the actions to closet him or take away his voice, by paying more attention to others around him, also fit into this category.
but when it’s time wrap in white linen
A dead body is traditionally wrapped in white linen as part of burial practices in some faiths. No matter what goes on in his life, death is inevitable. He’s hoping for an end to the calamity before it gets any worse. In the meantime, he tries to say what he can as much as he’s allowed and through his music
I rap this
I say it for my sanity
Zayn needs to let out what is going on so he doesn’t fall apart mentally. He’s rapping his words to make himself heard lyrically instead of his usual singing so the words themselves can be the main focus. Rap music is known for being raw and that’s his goal for this track. There’s no room for it to be seen as a catchy tune that’s only pleasing to the ears. He’s using artistic freedom as a way to say what he can’t just speak.
Whatever the calamity I did this for myself
Calamity means a state of deep distress or misery caused by major misfortune or loss. Zayn has been hit hard and he’s not in a situation he wants to be in. Chaos and destruction threatens his world but he is taking ownership of releasing his truth. He’s trying to use his music to reveal what others are trying to take away. He’s trying to speak for himself, which Gigi and her family like to do a lot of speaking for him and stealing his spotlight and insert themselves even when it doesn’t pertain to them. He wants to be his own person and seen for who he is, not for whom he is attached. Since the announcement of the child, he’s been given a label of “Gigi’s baby daddy” even when there’s no reason to even mention her. Zayn's Twitter topics and update accounts have become filled with the pictures of her which, in return gives her the PR/clout she’s looking for as part of the relationship agreement. Zayn hasn’t even participated in any of the articles or interviews she has done nor has he interacted with her publicly for what seems like forever, especially in the fast moving pace of the media world. This is part of him fighting back. Doing the bare minimum of what the contract is between him and her for their “relationship”. He so desperately wants to be his smart, funny, sweet, creative, talented, own person. He’s able to do this through his beautiful music.
Fuck all your fantasies
Blatantly shouting out to those who believe that he is in a happy situation right now. His life isn’t how he wants it to be. Zigi is shown as a fairytale happy relationship (it isn’t). Gigi uses Zayn for publicity gains evidenced by her increases in followers, larger amount of Likes for her couples posts versus her solo posts, her name is paired with his in most every single article/interview, attention is on her when she “promotes his music”, the use of photoshopped pictures, use of a look alike Zayn to pose as him for pictures/videos, her posing in front of the promo truck for his album, etc. Stans of Gigi/Zigi relationship buying into the “lives of the rich and famous fantasy” and blindly looking at what is put in front of the public view, keeps the fake relationship facade successful. Stans of Gigi/Zigi don’t take the time to account for what kind of person Zayn is and who they’d believe he would choose as his partner. There’s a handful of problematic behaviors she’s done which includes racism. There might be apologies but then there’s another problematic occurrence. And now that the fake relationship has been ramped up in intensity through the introduction of a baby, the amount of blindness by such fans has continued to thrive.
you’re a snake fell off the ladder
A “snake” is someone who is backstabbing or appears to be nice but is the total opposite when you’re not around them. A position on a “ladder” means an increase in importance or status. Going by what he’s said so far in this track, he’s wishing a downfall of the toxic person who has only gained from their connection to him. Gigi is prime suspect as who this is directed towards. Ever since Zayn and Gigi have been publicly attached, she has only gained in popularity. This fact is shown by the social media statistics. There’s a link to show this in my references section.
There’s a worldwide known Indian board game called Snakes and Ladders. Players move their pieces to avoid the snakes (which cause you to lose progress) and ladders (which cause you to gain progress towards winning). He’s reducing the other player to a snake, who not only loses the ability to win as a player, but he wants them to lose the ability to move on any “ladder” by experiencing a downfall then staying off completely!
This could also be about: 1. his former manager Sarah Stennett, for when she left she claimed he was difficult to deal with. Trying to hurt his image.
2. When he split from One Direction, Zayn was falsely given the image he hated it there and hated the boys. His solo career thankfully has still been successful due to his immense talent and how sincerely sweet he is for interviews and how dedicated are his true fans.
3. Management who brought him back into the Zigi contracted relationship after they had broken up, then a baby was brought into the picture within the first month.
4. Those who have been responsible for his forced closeting. Gigi (as part of Zigi) has to keep up appearances in public but, as evidenced by problematic actions she’s done, which includes racist actions, she’s not someone that could really be seen as someone Zayn would choose as his true love partner. It’s very easy to believe that she’s not a nice person.
5. Could also be a reference to the Ocean's 8 cameo that was never filmed. Zayn showed up, got all dressed into costume, then the crew never showed up. I would qualify this as snake behavior towards him. The industry being so self important because they see themselves as higher up the ladder to not need to show him respect enough to cancel before humiliation happens. Thankfully, Zayn has since been able to laugh about it during interviews. He keeps bouncing back when crap happens.
I prefer speaking in analogies
Zayn enjoys being clever in what he’s saying. Referring back to the prior line, both the snake and the ladder climber are the same person since analogies are comparing two things that have similarities. This could also reference to the ongoing theme of Zayn’s inability to speak his truth so he will use other ways to try to say the same things he would if he could.
I’ve had enough of all this wet
Wet means to be weak. He’s unhappy with the situation and wants it to stop. He doesn’t want to be seen as weak when he is actually such a strong person.
and I can’t trust that you're my family
He can’t trust the people who are supposed to be close to him that they make themselves out to be. The supposed family he’s near doesn’t have good intentions. They are using him. They don’t have his back.
I don't know what's next
He can’t predict the future. If he’s referring to the chaos/calamity, he doesn’t know what’s going to be “thrown at him” next or what stunts he might have to go along with or what he will have to deal with next. He’s so used to having to grin and bear it.
the brain dead that I never miss
Relates to not knowing what’s next if from the Hadid family, Gigi, the media, etc. Anyone believing in the Zigi stunt/lies/fantasies about him. He doesn’t want it in his life. If it went away tomorrow, he wouldn’t mind.
my brain lives with the cannabis
Could refer to Zayn doing what he can to cope by escaping (smoking mj). He has spoken openly about how smoking helps calm his anxiety. There’s an uneasiness. Another meaning could be the amount of coping generally. The amount he has to do can make days seem foggy.
can I resist the dark abyss
Questioning if he’s strong enough to not let this situation ruin him completely into nothing. Can he be strong enough to not end up just existing in an empty void in which he feels trapped?
Leave a mark on this with no start just exist
Him choosing to not actively willingly engage in any stunts management/media/Gigi wants him to do. Try to just do his own thing, as much as he can.
my minds in a prism shape
There’s a couple of ways this can be interpreted. One of them is when prism is used figuratively with reference to the clarification or distortion afforded by a particular viewpoint. He could be saying that no matter what’s going on around him, he still has his own opinion and bias on how he sees his life. Zayn’s being forcefully held back from speaking his mind. Unable to talk about things that matter to him. Another way that this could be interpreted is the prism referring to its base shape of a triangle. Prisms reflect rays of colored light which show as rainbows. Zayn has a prism tattoo on his inner right arm bicep. Rainbows and triangles are used by those in the lgbt+ community to identify oneself as such. Link to an article regarding pink triangles is listed in my references section, due to its history respectfully deserving of its own discussion. Those who are in the community have caught onto Zayn queercoding (hinting done by those who are closeted lgbt+ people). An example during this album era includes the use of rainbows in the “Vibez” music video. One of which was put on a car he was driving’s windshield in post production. Those who are in the community actually consider him to be quite “loud”. If his whole mind is in a prism shape, it greatly affects his whole life.
and in times like prison state
He feels like a lot of his rights have been taken away. “In times”, like in “times like these” but he writes “prison state” to clarify that he is not able to live his true authentic self. He’s holding out hope of a release from the “prison” being possible.
there’s no right that I feel of late
There’s so many lies, and even furthermore, recently the amount of them has increased.
there’s no light if my view’s at stake
Right now, he has to keep coping with chaos around him. There’s no “light at the end of the tunnel” if this continues. He wants to keep the hope he still has of what his life will be like when he’s set free of what is keeping him confined. He wants to keep his own voice and outlook of a free life he sees for himself, but right now that’s threatened to never happen.
and which left should I choose to take
First he says which left should he choose to take… meaning there’s possibilities he sees that he can “choose”. Does he choose to figure out how to become free, or does he choose to just take whatever’s left of himself and live status quo?
what's left is it room or space
Wondering how much he can take. Does he stay boxed in and hidden from showing the real him (room) Or (space) does he get out of this chaos by choosing possibility, freedom to be himself, not having to hold back?
There are rumors we have to face
At this point, Zayn switches to using “we” instead of “I”, meaning he’s including another party which speculations have been made about. Whether the rumors are true or false.
Zigi being fake? Real story behind One Direction? Sexuality? If the Ziam relationship is real or not? Ongoing other rumors he feels that need to end?
I prefer sooner than after late
He would rather talk about the rumors before it turns into having to correct someone else’s narrative. It’s better to say something before others so you limit any damage that might be done from the truth, or falseness, of rumors.
I seen actors after BAFTAs be more straight
This could be reference to how coming out as lgbt+ can hurt people’s careers which keeps them in the closet. If you’re in the entertainment industry, there's pressure put on you to be the most marketable and most liked so you can have the most fans which makes all parties involved, especially tptb, in your career the most money. When you’re closeted you have to lean into acting what stereotypically passes as straight.
This could also be what he’s referencing. There was an article speculating on the reason why Zayn didn’t attend an after party of the 2019 BAFTAs. The reason given was that he was trying to avoid seeing his former 1D bandmate, Liam Payne because the ongoing falsely perpetuated narrative, since Zayn left the band, was that ‘he didn’t like his time in the band so therefore he hated all his former bandmates’. The article also mentioned a source saying Liam attended alone but had a hot romance going on with Naomi Campbell. All of the boys are notoriously linked in the tabloids to any woman they even breathe near. For reference, here’s a screenshot of the article.
I mean down the barrel
Telling the truth though a potentially dangerous or unpleasant situation could be caused by doing so.
I hear them sing it’s the same carol
There’s a loud ongoing cycle of the same happy tune that he’s being bombarded by. Who is “them”? I think it’s the false happy narratives being used to negate him implying reality is anything else but, publicly. The prior line about truth leads me to believe it’s about that.
they trying to sprint in a long run Mo Farah
Mo Farah is a British long-distance runner and the most successful British track athlete in modern Olympic Games history. He is the 2012 and 2016 Olympic gold medalist in both the 5000 m and 10,000 m. The media/tabloids/Gigi/tptb are trying to go after him relentlessly, but if you want to win, you’ve gotta have long term strength or you’ll fail. He’s saying, “yeah, they might be coming after me, but I see their shortcomings. I’m gonna run full speed. Not giving up. Their view is so short sighted I know what I can do will ultimately win. I’m in this for the long haul.” While researching Mo Farah, I found an article about Liam Payne and Sir Mo Farah taking part in the same Movember 2020 celebrity portrait campaign raising money for men’s mental health and testicular/prostate cancer. I’m not including this for any more reason than it was an interesting coincidence and it’s wonderful to see charity work for issues so dear to ones heart. Both Zayn and Liam have been candid about their struggles with mental health and have found their own support strategies of dealing with them.
they trying to fix when it's long gone don't bother
When the media/tabloids/Gigi are trying to manage what narrative they’re pushing but make a mistake that makes something not make sense, it’s too late because it’s already out in the open. It’s hard to keep messy narratives going because it gets full of so many lies. Timelines get messed up. There’s people who now analyze what’s being shown and can see when things don’t add up and when there’s manipulation going on. When posts/articles are released, there’s dedicated fans of Zayn’s who look at them critically to see if what they’re being shown is true. Most of the time, it is not true. The public manipulation continues but Zayn’s loyal fans who actually are listening to him keep him in their priority. It’s now gone on for years, fans get better and better at it because it’s become expected.
There’s no other the thought shudders
Through most lovers
At this point, Zayn starts referring to his love life directly. “There’s no other” meaning he’s found the someone he wants to be with. No matter what we are being shown, he remains true to that one person to whom he’s dedicated himself. “The thought shudders” Even though it’s sometimes scary to think about because he’s in such a controlled situation.
I wanna bed you but still sleep is death's cousin
Speaking directly to this special someone. He wants to be intimately close with his love, yet he’s stuck in this situation where he sleeps without this person a lot, or it’s referring to him continuing to have a feeling of together yet apart in that relationship.
so two weeks is now four dozen
There’s a two week rule that couples in long distance relationships agree to see each other, at least once, every two weeks. If this line is about Zayn and Gigi, it doesn’t make sense because publicly we are meant to believe they spend lots of time together by the amount of paparazzi pictures that are taken and the kinds of posts she does insinuating they spend lots of time together. This line makes it easy to suggest it’s about a different relationship, not her. A non public committed long term long distance relationship. There’s lots of evidence to support this may be about a relationship between him and former bandmate, Liam Payne.
years that pass by cant press no rewind
He’s cognizant of time going forward but even if he wants to return to a particular time in his past, it’s not an option. This following the lines about his love could mean “we have been together for so long now, I’m not regretting any of it nor would I want to redo anything.” He’s into the relationship 100% going forward. Time still marches on. Though he wouldn’t go back and change anything, he does feel nostalgia for earlier in their relationship, which refers back to the tracks opening. This line also serves as hyping himself up for keeping up his strength and hope for positive changes for what’s to come.
just watch my life by and lock the right ties
In the meantime, Zayn will be caught in the motions of the chaos but he’s trying to make things right with those who he truly loves and love him in return. This, and its prior line, is the perfect segue to the second track “Better” on the album.
Nobody nobody is listening to me
Nobody nobody is listening
Nobody nobody is listening to me
Nobody nobody is listening to me
Zayn ends the track with “nobody is listening” to him as the album title says. After Zayn opens his soul up about the chaos and fake world he is being forced to live in, he hopes the listener has heard the words and now has deeper insight on his situation since he’s not allowed to talk openly. The reverb effects on his voice makes it sound like he’s yelling out into the open space to anyone who will hear him. The line is repeated 4 times. He starts the album this way then does it again in the song “Tightrope” which the track has also been interpreted by many as being meant for Liam. Four is the last 1D album Zayn was a group member, Pillowtalk on the MOM tracklist was stylized with a 4 which created a very possible link to Ziam, reference to 4 in lyrics to “Vibez”. Also, Liam has the number 4 tattooed on his ring finger.
For some references, here are links to start further reading…
How to tell if an image has been edited by photoshop:
https://www.howtogeek.com/697821/how-to-tell-if-an-image-has-been-manipulated-or-photoshopped/
Liam Payne and Olympian Sir Mo Farah in Movember 2020 campaign: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/movember-2020-campaign-mo-farah-liam-payne-mental-health-cancer-b1152152.html
Print interviews/articles are controlled by managers: https://mellygrant.com/post/146230834814/melly-that-entire-paper-magazine-article-got-me
Zigi being a business deal : https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/mellygrant/151261207229
Zigi is fake : https://www.thecut.com/2015/11/new-pr-strategy-going-just-perfectly.html
Zigi and a babygate : https://insomniziam.tumblr.com/post/629700760549113856/zigi-pr-relationship-analysis
American actor Matt Dallas speaks about his own closeting :
https://louisinmadrid.tumblr.com/post/182812219193/matt-dallas-on-being-told-to-hide-being-gay-to
Evidence supporting RCA sabotaged Icarus Falls: https://bakagamieru.tumblr.com/tagged/sabotaging+zayn
Zayn was happy during 1D, he had mental health struggles but the excessive problems were with tptb manipulation and wanting to branch out into music closer to what he felt in his heart: https://bakagamieru.tumblr.com/post/140516056728/the-explanation-i-see-most-often-for-people
History of pink triangles: How the Nazi Regime's Pink Triangle Symbol Was Repurposed for LGBTQ Pride: https://time.com/5295476/gay-pride-pink-triangle-history/
Closeting in the music industry including examples: https://nerds4life.tumblr.com/post/159006473207/just-wondering-since-you-seem-to-know-so-much
Zayn number 4: https://all4zayn.tumblr.com/post/168203950949/hi-i-dont-follow-1d-that-closely-so-im-sorry
