ygolortsa

Ashley//Gemini (she/her)

[zodiash]

gemini and capricorn: the diabolical duo

[zodiash]

peel the avocado: taurus, leo, virgo, scorpio, sagittarius, aquarius guacamole: aries, gemini, cancer, libra, capricorn, pisces

[zodiash]

the signs and snapchat streaks

has a streak with every person they know: sagittarius, leo, pisces only has a streak w friends: virgo, capricorn, libra has a streak with people they don't even talk to: gemini, aries doesn't have streaks: scorpio, aquarius has a 4583732883 day streak: taurus, cancer

[zodiash]

signs as lyrics from iliwys, fyasbysuoi

Aries: “she had to leave because she couldn’t hack it not enough noise and too much racket”

Taurus: “you look famous, let’s be friends and portray we possess something important”

Gemini: “what a shame you lost a brain you never had”

Cancer: “disenfranchised young criminal minds in a car park beside where your nan resides”

Leo: “and you’re the only thing that’s going on in my mind Taking over my life a second time”

Virgo: “don’t fall in love with the moment and think you’re in love with the girl”

Libra: “I’ve got a God shaped hole that’s infected and I’m petrified of being alone”

Sagittarius: “I personify the ‘adolescent on a phone’ speaking like I’m bigger than my body”

Scorpio: “she prayed that we fell from the sky, simply to alleviate the pain”

Capricorn: “I wish you’d walk in again. imagine if you just did”

Aquarius: “she said ‘I’ve got a problem with your shoes and your tunes but I might move in’ and ‘I thought that you were straight, now I’m wondering’”

Pisces: “you used to have a face straight out of a magazine, now you just look like anyone”

[zodiash]

what the signs do instead of their homework

Aries- sings Taurus- makes weird snapchat stories Gemini- makes zodiac posts Cancer- watches netflix Leo- watches youtube videos Virgo- organizes their room Libra- makes food Scorpio- draws Sagittarius- screams Capricorn- sleeps Aquarius- takes a bath Pisces- prays

[zodiash]

I've had this blog for a year today wtf

[zodiash]

zodiash is now on twitter

the @ is ZODlASH (the "i" is actually a lowercase L)

[zodiash]

the signs as overplayed songs

Aries: out of the woods-taylor swift Taurus: can’t feel my face-the weeknd Gemini: stitches-shawn mendes Cancer: sorry-justin bieber Leo: ex’s and oh’s-elle king Virgo: hello-adele Libra: trap queen-fetty wap Scorpio: shut up and dance-walk the moon Sagittarius: hold back the river-james bay Capricorn: uptown funk-bruno mars Aquarius: don’t tell ‘em-jeremih Pisces: hotline bling-drake

[zodiash]

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger": aries, cancer, libra, scorpio, sagittarius, aquarius "what didn't kill me, never made me stronger at all": taurus, gemini, leo, virgo, capricorn, pisces

[zodiash]

the signs as nuisances

Aries- finger prints on screens

Taurus- when toothpaste gets all over the cap or your sink and just dries there

Gemini- phone chargers breaking and the wires sticking out

Cancer- pizza rolls that pop open and release their sauce all over the pan

Leo- when your sleeves get wet while washing your hands

Virgo- pencil erasers that just smudge everything

Libra- hitting yourself in the ankles with a razor scooter

Scorpio- packaging that just rips off part of the paper instead of opening

Sagittarius- when a bag of chips is mostly air

Capricorn- having something really important to say and then forgetting it

Aquarius- when you are unable to find the beginning of a roll of tape

Pisces- putting pants on when your legs are wet

[zodiash]

the signs + each of my uber drivers today

motoki: (pretty old man who spoke mostly korean and played "ain't no mountain high enough" on repeat) ~sagittarius, aquarius donna: (older woman in a bright purple sweater with a hint of a swedish accent who was very concerned about me wearing a warm coat) ~cancer, pisces, taurus leonard: (gave details about the protests the night before and loved the fact that we shopped all day, told us about him living in maywood) ~virgo, capricorn muhammad: (clean cut man in a nice suit and drove a bentley, didn't say anything really) ~aries, scorpio bobby: (drove us home, has gauges and a lots of tattoos and told us that he is an uber driver bc he got arrested while smuggling marijuana across the border and no one else will hire him, talked about his wife a lot, has four kids and is super happy his "5 year old is a girl" because none of his boys "will wear the pink frilly stuff or go to the disney store") ~gemini, leo, libra

[zodiash]

signs as songs from Made in the A.M.

Aries-  Long Way Down

Taurus- Infinity

Gemini- Walking In the Wind

Cancer- Temporary Fix

Leo- Never Enough

Virgo- What a Feeling

Libra- Olivia

Scorpio- Wolves

Sagittarius- End of the Day

Capricorn- Love You, Goodbye

Aquarius- I Want to Write You a Song

Pisces- History

[zodiash]

recent texts I have from the signs

Aries- "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AESTHETIC" Taurus- "For 1.5 L... Which is 50.72 oz which is 3 waterbottles. 3 waterbottles sell for $45-$65 depending how much a hoe you are.... When they should really be $4.50 a waterbottle" Gemini-"WE HAVE TO USE OUR BRAINS TO THINK ABOUT OUR BRAINS" Cancer-"Wtf in so mad that I finally kissed a boy and all my friends hate me" Leo- "LIKE IT MAKES ME SAD AND HORNY AT THE SAME TIME?? WHY AM I LIKE THIS??" Virgo- "Ok well my foot hurts and I'm not gonna go party" Libra- "someone please make this into a fanfic" Scorpio- "why are you even here" Sagittarius- "HSJAJDJDIWBRUFNWIRNXISNDINSIFNDINEIXNWINXISMWOMDIDNDJDJDNIENFHHDIFNKSNSJFIXNSJFJXISBFJSJSHNFJJXUNFNXIJFNXNXJJXCJ" Capricorn- "what am i going to do when i get an iphone 6 i have had this case on my phone since the day i got it december 27th 2014" Aquarius- "medallion throne" Pisces- " it kind of reminds me of that one justin timberlake song that's like "it's too late to aplogizeeee"

[zodiash]

I'm convinced that the dinosaur kid is a libra and the guy filming is a gemini

[bob-belcher]

does anyone else get really anxious when the cashier hands you change and you’re hurriedly putting it away in your wallet so that the next customer in line can proceed or is that just me

[zodiash]

texting the signs

all lowercase: leo, libra, taurus, capricorn, scorpio caps lock asf: gemini, aries, sagittarius perfect grammar: virgo, aquarius, cancer, pisces

[trillastrology]

The signs as best Rihanna tweets

Aries: “Fuck I look like ho? I look like yes and ya look like no” Taurus: “CBS you pulled my song last week, now you wanna slide it back in this Thursday? NO, Fuck you! Y'all are sad for penalizing me for this.” Gemini: “Alcohol is the devil and I need Chinese food” Cancer: “Burning candles inside of the studio, rappin n prayin…” Leo: “Yikes… @Rihanna ran out of fucks to give” Virgo: “Ya see what happens when they cancel Intervention?” Libra: “When there’s no changing the fact that I’m me, and they’re well…they’re them. ” Scorpio: “FUCK U SATAN!!! Fuck right off!!!!!” Sagittarius: “Your pussy way too dry to be riding my dick like this” Capricorn: “I hate broke bitches” Aquarius: “Its fuckin Twitter, not the alter! calm down” Pisces: “A drug and a dream…”