Let's Get Out Of This Town

[zombieanw]

Nobody knows

Well today the first time in a long time I went off. I let out the girl who was beat by family, boyfriends, girlfriends. I let out the girl who watch her cousin bleed out because of a drop off gone wrong, I let out the girl who was addicted to substances, I let out the girl who dealed substances. I let out the girl who fucked for a place to live. I let out the girl who takes knifes in the back to watch others smile. I let out the girl who was raped before her first kiss. I let out the girl who was drugged and gang raped on video. I let out the girl who grew up to gun shots as lullabies. I let out the girl who had her faced smashed in so many times it was permanent. I let out the girl who carried razors, knifes, guns to stay safe. I let out the girl who drank heavily since fourteen and smoked as well. I let out the girl who went to rehab more times than she’d like to admit.

I grew up having to protect myself and every time I let my guard down something horrible happens. I was raped on a driveway 30 feet from my front door. I was raped by a friend her boyfriend, his brother, and their friends on tape. I was touched as a child by older kids in ways that scar me more than I can even bare to remember.

I grew up listening to death. One gun shot jobs done. Multiple go hide in the bathroom.

I grew up with blood covering my hands from those I loved being killed because they joined stupid gangs for protection. Not their own but for our family.

I grew up with being a punching bag well into adulthood.

I hate crying. I hate feeling sorry for myself. I hate all of it. But that’s just life. And tonight unfortunately she came out and now I fear no one will unsee or hear it. I know I’m the worst person because of my past. I know I’m not worth shit because of it. I know that no matter how hard I try that girl will resurface. I know that no matter what I can not be loved. And that’s okay because I don’t even love me so why should anyone else? I know I’m scum. I know I’m nothing but a pile of trash waiting to be thrown out again.

I hate myself. There is nothing to love in damaged goods. I guess that’s why I try so hard to make others see how amazing they are but at the end of the day that’s not how it goes. They don’t care will tell you you’re wrong. But I want people to see their light. That’s why I talk to everyone I meet and try to compliment them at least twice.

My moose is the only person who i feel like would care if I wasn’t alive. Not that I want to die! I’m way to selfish. More like run away. I’m good at that. Being homeless is freeing . I should know I did it for over a year. I couldn’t ever I have my moose and moose pup and kitty and doggo.

I guess long story short I know that I’m a piece of shit and deserve nothing.

[gleeful-dinosaur]

Hey Tumblr

I Did A Thing, Please Reblog

[zombieanw]

Shake me up

Let’s listen to Wham, Warrent, Motley Cruë, stuff like that.

Tell me you want me, to want you.

Lets fucking lay in a truck bed and count the stars.

No not romanticly.

I want to talk about aliens and past lives.

Let’s talk about race, gender, sexuality.

Stop pussyfooting around hard pills to swallow.

Tell me things you would never dare say out loud.

Let’s talk about how our exes screwed us over then how we did the same to them.

Let’s talk about people we’ve both hurt and people who have hurt us.

I’ll tell you there is magick everywhere

And you, you just need to listen.

[zombieanw]

A song for my exes ex

Once again diary entry this time 15.

-pretty little thing

Black hair brown eyes

Pretty little mouth

Filled with pretty little lies

Red rose lips with the devil’s kiss

Ask for her digits you get 666

And all my exes were once hers

All my exes come from her

(Geez I had issues)

[zombieanw]

My ex died

I think my ex died

No not in a literal sense

But in a way that feels almost so

Yet he has died many times

Always reincarnated into something else

A friend

A lover

A best friend

An enemy

A memory

A friend

A lover

An enemy

Someone I used to know

Now dead yet again

I’ve mourned and celebrated so many times

I’ve cried and I have laughed

Will he reincarnate again?

Will my heart stop in it’s tracks?

Will I suffer pain again

See my mind still mourns you

But my heart

My heart

Oh my heart.

17 year old me’s diary entry.

[zombieanw]

Because for the first time in a hot minute I felt pretty

[mercury-minded]

Your Ascendant

Aries

Think of an Aries Rising as spring, powering through the cold hard earth of winter. They are people of action, and being ruled by Mars adds a pioneering and competitive spirit. Their energy is direct and honest. Typically not shy, these people have no problems expressing what’s on their mind. In friendship, people with an Aries Ascendant often bond with other adventurous, spontaneous, and free-spirited people. 

Taurus

Taurus Rising’s want the best: best house, best sex, best food. They have an aura of calm that surrounds them. They are charming, loving, and artistically-inclined, thanks to Venus’s influence. They are not pushy, but are well known for their steadfastness and loyalty. These people tend to attract other artistic souls, and may have a tendency to place them on a pedestal. 

Gemini

Gemini Risings are restless, quick-witted, and very excitable. Mercury, which rules this ascendant, was well known for his mental agility and speed. These traits are noticeable in this placement, as they often gesticulate with their hands and can talk on a variety of subjects. These people are eager to explore and they welcome change - whether it’s a change in occupation, residence, or even significant other. They may often have many acquaintances, but have only one “best friend”.

Cancer

The Moon plays a huge and noticeable role on Cancer risings. They are famously in tune with emotions- theirs and others. There is a protective, motherly quality that makes them stand out. They are compassionate, understanding, and warm. A Cancer ascendant also possesses an active imagination, and is able to pick up signals from all around them. These people may be hard to get close too at first, but once you do, you’re in like family. 

Leo

Leo Risings embody a regal, royal energy. They often possess a sense of nobility and are usually very generous and big-hearted. With the Sun ruling this placement, they are gifted with a vibrant magnetism and a flair for drama. Socially, Leo ascendants are charming and diplomatic, able to communicate with almost anyone. They are very lovable, and others are drawn to them because of their energy and sense of humor.

Virgo

Mercury is the ruler of Virgo risings, and this makes these people analytical and practical. They are highly adaptable, organized, and responsible. They are not as cold and stand-offish as they may seem. This placement bestows very caring and tender qualities, although they may keep them well-hidden. Getting to know a Virgo ascendant can be tough for this reason, but is well worth it, because these people are very selfless and sympathetic towards their friends.

Libra

Libra risings are recognized by their charm, graciousness, and social ability. With this position being ruled by Venus, they are seekers of beauty and harmony. They possess an aura of refinement and have a gentleness to their actions. These people often have a cheerful disposition, and love to be in an atmosphere of laughter and fun. This placement attracts friends who are confident and dominant, and can keep up with their social life. 

Scorpio

Will-power and intensity are the words that come to mind for a Scorpio rising. This person puts their whole heart into everything they do, and doesn’t half-ass anything. They are charismatic and magnetic, and can be intimidating to a lot of people. Pluto ruling this placement grants strong emotions, creativity, and persistence. In friendships, these people tend to attract more mature individuals, and value those who are intellectual and can hold a deep conversation. 

Sagittarius

Jupiter rules Sagittarius risings, and this is evident in their optimistic, cheerful, and adventurous personality. These people are always on the lookout for new experiences and have a frank, philosophical outlook. They are well known for being very honest and idealistic. Sag ascendants love meeting new people and talking about new ideas. They value exchanging opinions and are able to make friends quickly, and with different types of people. 

Capricorn

This is a very complex rising sign. Capricorn risings have a strong personality and come off as reserved, cautious, and cool. Ruled by Saturn, this placement is known for its willpower, patience, and discipline. They are very responsible people and work diligently towards their goals. To those that have cracked them open, these people are expressive, friendly, and harbor deep emotions. They are drawn to people who let them let loose and “play”.

Aquarius

With Uranus ruling this placement, Aquarius risings may come off as different/eccentric/unique in some sense. Whether it’s their style, personality, or interests, something about them will be unusual or original. They are very quick-witted and honest, with an idealistic outlook. This placement is known for its love of freedom and progressive, forward-thinking. With friends, these people are attracted to outgoing, open-minded individuals.

Pisces

Pisces risings try to view their world through rose-colored glasses. Their mind is swirling in fantasies and is tinged with their romantic outlook. They are artistic, idealistic, and dreamy. Neptune’s influence on this placement is evident in the compassion, intuition, and sensitivity that these people often have. They strive to try and see the best in people and in situations. Pisces risings tend to make friendships that are supportive and long-lasting. 

[pnkemoji]

modern witch learning to brew with video tutorials 👾

[humanhealing]

“How can you just leave someone’s life? How is it so easy for you? What do you do with all the memories of us laughing and talking at 4am, and habits of texting ‘Good morning’ and ‘Goodnight.’ How can you just leave that? Did you never care at all?”

— I want to believe you miss me, but deep down I know you don’t. ( @humanhealing )

[stoners-and-succulents]

Self care: getting stoned by yourself after a long day of human interaction

[llleighsmith]

anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity

[violent-darts]

My dad’s literal first words on holding me for the first time were “ …she’s done this before, and she’s not happy to be back.”

[i-am-the-punk-mermaid]

That is such a badass thing to say about a newborn

[bluesick]

[solitarygoddess-deactivated2022]

Witchy girls night:

[zombieanw]

•candle/crystal shops

•tarot readings

•herbal tea

•handmade facials/soaks

[zombieanw]

Another night no sleep. I feel like I’ve been off this site way too much.

[zombieanw]

Watching Anne with an “E”. Seriously haven’t stopped crying. I don’t know why other than I wish when I was Anne’s age I’d have someone who loved me like Matthew loves her. She’s his daughter and even to my own family I was nothing.

[scary-stories]

Feed them, leave them, or free them.

My father died last week. Although I’m brimming with a confusing amount of emotions, that’s not why I’m writing this. I’m not here to talk about my relationship with my father or who he was, but to tell his story. He left his estate to myself, as his only living child, and with this will he left a letter. I’m here to share that letter because quite frankly, I don’t know how to process it and I need a second, third and even fourth opinion on his words.

“My dear son,

If you are reading this then I am no longer with you. As far as my will is concerned, I’m sure that my lawyer has informed you of your inheritance, my entire estate. However, there was something that I couldn’t entrust to my lawyer, something that I should have told you about before now. To understand the entirety of your inheritance, I will need to explain some things to you and I ask that as you come to understand them, that you will forgive me and my choices.

Keep reading

[scary-stories]

I'm a Guardian Demon

Yeah, you read that right. We’re by no means requested as much as those feathery dick-muffins, but we take our job just as seriously. ‘Course, we’ve gotta go about it a bit differently. No sense in doing the same damn thing - we’re summoned for a reason.

Guardian angels work pretty much exactly how you think. They look out for you, having you trip on the sidewalk to avoid getting hit by a car and whatnot. They love tangling with the threads of fate, plucking a string here and tying a loose end there. And while they’re great at predicting things short-term, they suck donkey balls long-term.

So for every time someone’s told you “you must have a guardian angel looking out for you!” after narrowly dodging that falling AC unit, that same snobby urinal cake won’t do jack shit about that crushing heartbreak. “They need to learn,” they’ll say. “Now they’ll appreciate the next one more,” they’ll say. Fuckers have a circle jerk on their high horses while you suffer. Moral code my ass.

But that’s where we come in. Demons ain’t got the same definition of “helping.” We torture people for eternity, and we’re damn good at it. We’re clever. We’re patient. And we love revenge stories as much as you people all hate us for it all.

Guy who cheated behind your back? Boom, chlamydia. Snot-nosed nephew hit you in the nuts? Introduce his ice cream to the ground, mother fucker. But our favorites - what we’re known for - is the waiting game.

That teacher who always graded you most harshly? Guess who’s the only casualty of the most recent school shooting. The bully who stole your lunch money every week? Now he smokes two packs a day and can barely make ends meet. The pastor who fondled you and said God wouldn’t want you to tell? I feed him lava every Tuesday downstairs. What goes around comes around, and we’re the ones coming around.

So the next time you get it into your tiny mortal skull that demons are the bad guys, remember we’re the ones dishing out the karma. We’re the ones putting the smile on your face when your ex’s new boy toy runs out on her after knocking her up. We’re the ones getting your boss fired for using company funds on hookers and blow. Oh look at who got promoted! Such surprise, much wow.

You’re fucking welcome.