Zombieman... Hopefully

I'm zombieman. Period. Google why are you still typing. Google stop. GOOGLE

[zombieman-anon]

I'm zombieman. You can ask me questions.

Nothing nsfw. No thirsts. No sexual questions. Don't call me daddy. Child emperor follows me.

No, I'm not giving you my phone number

Don't send me quit vaping ads. I smoke cigarettes like a good old Gen-x-er.

Don't send me nudes. One of you is the reason I had to do that, I'm not naming names.

If you break into my house, don't send me pics, just take some meaningless shit and sell it on ebay. I don't care.

This is a sweet-mask free-zone keep that in mind.

That's it for now. I'll add stuff as you do stupid shit.

If you wanna ask me a question but don't know what, go to the tag #ask me for ideas

[zombieman-anon]

🌹

Hey Alexa, how do I file a restraining order?

[zombieman-anon]

Someone gave me a flower in unprovoked. Good sir I love you

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Awww that's sweet! What kind of flowers were they?

[zombieman-anon]

Just a rose. Like I was trying to go grocery shopping and this man just handed me a flower. By the time I was done processing it he was gone

[zombieman-anon]

Someone gave me a flower in unprovoked. Good sir I love you

[shylesbiannerd]

Send me Emojis

🌹  I have a romantic crush on you

⭐️ I have a platonic crush on you

🌈  I’m gay for you

🤗  given the chance I would gladly hug you

💛 You are my best friend

💙 You are my closest friend

💚 You’re cute

🦄  you’re adorable

🎨  you’re artistically talented

💕  we have a lot in common

😑  you’re annoying

✖️  you’re mean

☄️ I wish we could talk

👽 you’re out of this world

🤙 you’re pretty cool

🔥 you’re hot

💋 I wanna make out with you

😊 Your blog makes me smile

😘 I’d date you

💍 I want to marry you

💓 I can’t stop thinking about you

💘 I love you so much 

🐶🐱 let’s get a dog/cat

👾 nerd

👻 I admire you from afar you probably don’t know I exist

🗑 You’re content is trash and i love you

😍 I aspire to be like you one day

🍀 I’m lucky to have met you

🤐 We don’t talk as much as we used to

🛫 You live far away and it sucks because I want to meet you

😩 I’m too shy to talk to you but I really love your blog

😇 You’re a sweet cinnamon bun

💎 Your blog is pretty

🐒 You’re funny

🎄 Wish to hang out over the holidays

⚔ I trust that you would have my back

👍 you are fun to be around

[zombieman-anon]

I've finally picked up that Nintendo switch child emperor has bought me and am going to be playing animal crossing. Hopefully this goes well.

[miraclecherryblossomsblog]

Good luck paying rent 👍

[zombieman-anon]

That Tom nook is a bastard he's charging me way to many bells

[zombieman-anon]

Happy pride month!!! I'd like to remind everyone that cishet ace/aros are more than welcome in the 2slgbtqia community. Sometimes I wonder what people think the A stands for...

[zombieman-anon]

I've finally picked up that Nintendo switch child emperor has bought me and am going to be playing animal crossing. Hopefully this goes well.

[zombieman-anon]

Your smoothie was delicious by the way :3

You owe me $5 and your soul

[zombieman-anon]

I seriously walked out of tropical smoothie without my drink. I need sleep. And caffeine.

[zombieman-anon]

Mod-

I ordered a touch screen laptop expect doofus drawings by mid june

[zombieman-anon]

THE LAPTOPS COMING IN ON THE 28TH I'M SO EXCITED

[zombieman-anon]

Mod-

I ordered a touch screen laptop expect doofus drawings by mid june

[zombieman-anon]

Hewwo sir, Got any gwapes?

[moss-wizard]

What a year this week has been.

[we-dont-matteratall]

It’s Monday.

[jacuwi]

It sure as hell is.

[actualaster]

The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets

[zombieman-anon]

It's 8 in the morning and this has never been more accurate

[zombieman-anon]

The janitor who spends his breaks napping in the middle of the hallway at 5 a.m. lives rent free in my head. How are you doing? Did you make it to your bed? God bless your 5'3" tired ass I hope you get some coffee

[zombieman-anon]

Saw him drinking some monster today. Good for him.

[zombieman-anon]

It depends.

Which one gets me blocked?

It doesn't matter. You're a nuisance to society (and that's something to be proud... As long as it doesn't effect me... Which it's doing rn)

[zombieman-anon]

Would you want our own kids one day?

Our? Or your? The answer is important; it determines whether or not I block you.