Stuffity Stuffz

Various things and words | 29 They/Them

[zordonmlw7]

[redstonedust]

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.

[should-be-sleeping]

Her name is Blorba now.

[weepylucifer]

You know how we call things "pseudoscience"... the media analysis that's being done on twitter and tumblr should be pseudohumanities

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[pangur-and-grim]

[tragediegh]

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

[lesbx]

they send me to space war even though i’m so freaking small i’m literally just a grunt. they only gave me a pasma pistol. i’m gonna fucking die

[greater-than-the-sword]

My toxic trait is that if I find a product I like I want to keep using the same product forever. It's not even brand loyalty. It's called stop changing and discontinuing everything.

[woman-becomer]

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

[buckskinboots]

Ainu Mankiri Knife

[phantomrose96]

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

[giskie]

do i have to play warhammer 1-39999 first to understand 40k

[cinder-rankings]

Cinder Rankings - Cindy (1978)

Originality- 4/5 It's a realistic, all black version of Cinderella set in Harlem in the 40s. Cindy and her family are actually poor in this movie, and her stepmother is mad because her new husband didn't tell her he had a daughter before they got married. Cinderella also doesn't marry a prince in this version, and literally everyone gets their own happily ever after.

Soundtrack- 3/5 I didn't even realize this was a musical at first. The first song is just Cindy singing in church, but then her stepsisters get their own villain song later on. The music is all good, but there's not enough of it.

Romance- 4/5 Captain Joe Prince doesn't show up until 47 minutes in, which is about halfway through the movie. When he and Cindy finally do meet, it looks like love at first sight. But at the last minute, Cindy realizes she's not in love with him and actually has feelings for her next door neighbor Michael, who is also the fairy godmother stand-in. They're actually a really cute couple, even if I didn't see it coming.

Enjoyability- 4/5 I like this movie, it's different from most of the other Cinderella stories I've seen. It feels more realistic, and adds a country mouse/city mouse dynamic to Cindy and her stepfamily that I definitely haven't seen before. I love Cindy, she's so sweet and genuine.

Morals- 3/5 "Marry for love, not for money". Not a lesson you usually see in Cinderella stories, but I can't complain.

Total- 18/25

[cinder-rankings]

Cinder Rankings - Cinderella (2000)

Originality- 5/5 This movie starts out as a very standard Cinderella movie, then takes a sharp turn when it introduces Mab the Fairy Godmother, an off putting, cave dwelling sea witch (or maybe mermaid) who talks to birds and hates people. The stepfamily also know about Mab, the stepsisters follow Cinderella to her cave. There's also no glass slippers in this movie, Cinderella goes to the ball in shoes made of flower petals. I've also never seen a Prince Charming meet the Fairy Godmother before.

Soundtrack- 2/5 not a musical

Romance- 3/5 I didn't like Prince Valiant at first, he seemed kind of sexist, but I think that was the point. He has no interest in romance until he meets Cinderella, then he falls head over heels for her. It's very fast, but that's to be expected from this kind of movie. There's also a side romance between Mab, the Fairy Godmother, and Cinderella's elderly male servant slash father figure.

Enjoyability- 3/5 The movie is fine, but Cinderella's father absolutely enrages me. He's complicit with her abuse, and even calls her "Cinderella" instead of her actual name. There's a reason most adaptations kill him off. He's completely devoted to the stepmother, and treats his daughter like garbage. I also think Cinderella herself is kind of boring. She never fights back, or does anything to make herself stand out. The third act is my favorite. The stepsisters try to murder Cinderella, and she destroys the slipper after the stepmother threatens to kill her father. The stepmother, Claudette, is iconic though.

Morals- 3/5 I have no idea what to put here. "Forgive your toxic family members"? "Marriage is hard work"?

Total- 16/25

[cinder-rankings]

Cinder Rankings - More Than A Miracle

Originality- 5/5 I've never seen a Cinderella story set in Spain before. The film also has some strange casting going on, as Prince Rodrigo is played by an Egyptian actor, while our Cinderella, Isabella, is played by an Italian actress. The Fairy Godmother is replaced by an old hag, who is part of a whole coven that doesn't want to help Isabella. There's no Wicked Stepmother or Ugly Stepsisters to speak of. No glass slipper, no pumpkin carriage. But there is a monk who can fly.

Soundtrack- 2/5 not a musical

Romance- 2/5 Let me just start by saying that I HATE enemies to lovers. Isabella and Rodrigo immediately get off to a bad start, with him trying to steal her horse and then accusing her of being a thief for some reason. She also repeatedly talks about how much she hates him. But as soon as he leaves, she goes to a bunch of old hags and asks them if he loves her. They spend almost all their screentime fighting with each other. Rodrigo even tries to have Isabella executed at one point. He also seems actively against the idea of marriage. Rodrigo refuses to speak to or even interact with any princess, and tells his mother to just pick a wife for him. And yet, when they reunite in the final act, Rodrigo and Isabella act like none of that ever happened and embrace each other.

Enjoyability- 2/5 This movie is strange, and I don't know how I feel about it. The plot is more like a series of random events, which honestly does feel fairy tale-esque, but not very Cinderella-y. I think it'd be fun to watch with friends, and probably laugh at, but I was mostly confused. It's very goofy, but frustrating at the same time.

Morals- 1/5 I think the message they're going for is "don't give up on love" or maybe "go after the people you love". But it comes off more as "if a man and a woman hate each other, it means they're secretly in love".

Total- 12/25

[maimoncat]

I'm always gonna take the chance to talk about this movie!

Ok so for some clarifications: this film isn't an adaptation of Cinderella, it's a hodgepodge of different stories from the Pentameron (the oldest european fairy tale collection) and local south italian folk tales. For some reason, the title "Cinderella italian style" was picked for the UK market and ever since then the connection with Cinderella stuck around. The movie also isn't set in Spain, but in an italian kingdom under spanish rule (Naples). That is also a reason why the monk tries to set the pair up: Isabella is an actual local inhabitant, while Rodrigo and the princesses are from foreign spanish nobility. This theme of the importance of a woman from the local people to become queen is also present in the neapolitan musical/operetta "la Gatta Cenerentola" by Roberto de Simone.

This movie suffered a bunch from conflicting visions: Francesco Rosi, the director, wanted to incorporate a lot of southern culture, while the producer Carlo Ponti pushed for overseas marketability. Originally the monk, st. Joseph of Copertina, was supposed to be played by comedy legend Totò, but unfortunatel, he passed that year, and Ponti got the more recognizable abroad Leslie French in the role.

I'm not gonna pretend here that the writing and romance is all that good: I'm just used to seeing these sort of dynamics in italian movies a lot, and loved it as a kid because it's one of the few fairy tale movies to come from my country.

[cinder-rankings]

Interesting!

[cinder-rankings]

Cinder Rankings - If The Shoe Fits (2016)

Originality- 3/5 It's a pretty typical modern Cinderella story. But Tessa, our protagonist, is a mechanic who also dabbles in singing, instead of being a dress maker or dancer like most of the Cinderellas I've seen. She's a bit of a tomboy, but not in a "I'm not like other girls" way. The Fairy Godmother is a makeup artist, and Prince Charming is a British popstar. There's also the meta fact that the characters are all together because they're auditioning for a musical version of Cinderella, with Reed (the popstar) playing the prince. The movie knows that it's a retelling of a story you've heard a million times.

Soundtrack- 3/5 The songs are good, but I wouldn't put any of them on my playlist. I really wish there was a villain song.

Romance- 3/5 Tessa and Reed are cute together, but not very exciting. She's doing a fake British accent throughout the movie to avoid her stepmother, and he's actually British, so he's suspicious of her (especially when she says she lives in Yorkshire Puddingshire). They also bond when she's out of disguise, and Tessa helps fix a motorcycle prop the play is using. Reed is also supposedly with a girl named Harper, who is also rich and famous, so Tessa feels like a homewrecker. But later it's revealed that Harper and Reed are completely platonic friends, and his manager wanted them to date for business reasons.

Enjoyability- 3/5 My short attention span aside, I liked this movie. Sofia Carson is fine as Tessa, although every time she opens her mouth, all I can hear is Evie from Descendants. Jennifer Tilly as Evil Stepmother Divine is really fun. She and the two stepsisters, Olympia and Athena, are constantly over-acting and I love it. The movie is very 2016, there's references to Instagram, Harry Potter and Kim Kardashian. My favorite scene is towards the end, where the two stepsisters start wrestling over who gets to be Cinderella in the play.

Morals- 4/5 "Be brave and follow your heart". Cliche, but cute. There's also a less obvious message about blue collar jobs being respectable, in one scene the Fairy Godmother stand-in says "All the best talent waits tables and hauls trash".

Total- 16/25

[cure-typhoon]

I havent watched Wonderful Precure