Untitled on purpose @zucchiniin - Tumblr Blog

Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from jumpscares/screamers/etc from you on April 1st but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen

phosphorus-noodles

Reblog to let your followers know that they’re safe from tricks/jumpscares/etc on halloween but they are NOT safe from getting boop’d like an idiot amen

xanaxfarts

4000cc breast implants :)

I don't know how to tell you this. But the wizard in the picture is canonically Saruman.

metatextuality

#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

pyroinfusedtiger

Posting this everywhere til im not obsessed with it anymore

sunbentshadows

So, about that outage, huh

marlynnofmany

I do love the tradition of compiling Historic Current Events into montages with a soundtrack of "In The Hall of the Mountain King." It's both educational and funny. I'm sure future generations will enjoy watching them in history class.

foldingfittedsheets

BREAKING UPDATE ON THE PLUMOCALYPSE!!!

When I got home the neighbor kids were hanging around the parking lot as they usually do. I saw an adult making the rounds and popped out of my car hoping to snag her and ask if she’d like plums. I didn’t see her when I got out. But I saw a little girl and I said, “Is that your mom walking around?”

No, I was informed.

“Well can you ask your mom if she wants plums?”

She ran off. I looked over and saw two slightly older girls lounging. “Do you want plums?” I called.

Yes.

I grabbed my enormous box of plums and brought it outside. All three girls were waiting and the first kid said, “She’ll take them.”

I told them I had been given 106 plums. They were suitably impressed. I held out the box to let them pick out plums but the first girl confidently took the box. “You don’t have to take them all if you don’t want…” I offered dubiously.

“We want them.”

So I handed her the whole damn box, at this point somewhere close to 87 plums. And just like that, I was free. Her mom might be upset at receiving 87 plums or maybe her daughter gauged correctly that they could actually use them but either way. I am blissfully free.