take your time

24 / tmasc weirdo / i have several sideblogs but this is my main

[pukicho]

Welcome... To Locust Academy

[tignarita]

can't wait for my first day i hope I can fit in :(

[pukicho]

BZB BZZZNZZZZZZZZZZ

[finns-gifs]

Happy Trans day of visibility friends !

[xenosaurus]

this may be my age showing but I am a passionate supporter of wires. earbuds? put a leash on those things. wireless keyboard? no, it needs to hold hands with the computer. the ps5 controller I forgot to charge has the staying power of a wealthy nonagenarian with a much younger wife and 14 life insurance policies, but the controller plugged into my pc? that baby will outlive my bloodline. my ethernet cable is like a son to me.

[abandonedambition]

you know what? I WILL play with jpgs like dolls. what if life could be dream

[fullmetalfisting]

…. For now

[miiilowo]

theyare friends. :)

[0-iz]

I do actually think when I stopped feeling like every stance I have I have to live flawlessly I became a lot happier and less guilt-ridden and controlled by the arbitrary rules decided in my head..it is actually ok that I, someone who has been flawlessly pescetarian since the age of 10, eat bacon one (1) time. The world will not end, I will not be arrested by the pescetarian police, and I am not uniquely and wholly responsible for every animal suffering. In fact, I am still allowed to call myself Pescetarian, because who the fuck cares. And in some ways it's a bit maddening that it took me until the age of almost 24 to realise that lol

[isawken]

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

[isawken]

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

[novafigura]

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[the-problematic-trolley]

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

[pinkfire-chacarera]

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

[gg-is-a-loser]

wobbuffet

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I need to admit something to the US Tumblrinas. Philadelphia isn't a place to me. It's a cream cheese. You say "philadelphia" or "philly" and I immediately, and exclusively, think of the cream cheese. "Twelve people die in Philadelphia disaster" wow that must've been a Molasses Flood style event

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

No I trust the Americans, the cheese lovers, and the fans of the molasses flood to find this one on their own.

[pawbeanies]

my bravest knighttt... come hither ..... mmmwah !! ok you are dismissed

[innovadesexual]

my house is pretty awesome ihave an elephant in the room and a skeleton in my closet

[wyrmoftheweb]

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

[angelicguy]

*trapped in trolls cave, weaving under their oversized rudimentary furniture while they chase me down*

troll with cockney british accent: maybe we'll boil em... mash em... puttem in a stew, let him roast in 'es own juices.... my belly's rumblin just thinkin bout it!

other troll in a normal white guy voice: Oh Ooh maybe we could try a little quinoa salad

[italiandivorce]

a couple months ago i got a job selling cheese and something about my work environment makes me come across noticably gayer. could not tell you why. something inherently faggy about the cheese business

[italiandivorce]

today the world's most heterosexual man comes up like "hey my wife wants me to pick up a soft spreadable cheese. like maybe a goat cheese" and i was like "well these are our chevres. but there's this LOVELY lavender fennel goat cheese by cypress grove if you're feeling zesty. are you feeling zesty" and he was like "...i am. i am feeling zesty" like the idea of feeling zesty had only just now occured to him

[italiandivorce]

if you were surrounded by cheese all day you'd be enthusiastic and attentive too

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

[thequeervampiric]

love saying "question mark?" out loud when I'm talking about something i'm unsure of

[innerchildabortionclinic]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you are intrinsically evil

[genderkoolaid]

whenever someone talks about how (cis) men & (cis) women supposedly have this huge gap in their consumption of pornography im always like. well does that include erotica. does it include fanfiction. because im betting when you include the kinds of porn that are known to be more popular with cis women the difference would be a lot different. almost like a lot of our data around porn is heavily influenced by cultural attitudes and constructs

[genderkoolaid]

also neither consumption of traditional porn nor erotica/fanfic/gay furry artists on bluesky are respected or valued by society. but it's funny how with traditional porn it's demonized via "it takes advantage of men's inherent predilection for Evil Sex Thoughts!! if men see people having sex too many times they'll Lose Control and turn into violent rapists because of Horny Schizophrenia!!!!" and with erotica it's "it takes advantage of women's poor stupid baby brains and TRICKS them into being horny for anything but the tender marital embrace of a god-fearing white husband!!! It BRAINWASHES women into HAVING DESIRES!!!!!!" because no gender is actually allowed to have a normal relationship with sex and masturbation. our anxieties around sexuality reallllyyyy highlight how we are taught to interpret gender and sex