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LaineyGossip|Beyonce's Grammys performance was a radical act of defiance

She knew.

Last week I wrote about how the Recording Academy had to discuss during a meeting whether or not Beyoncé was “gaming the system”. They claim it was a short conversation but the signs were there – they didn’t appreciate that Beyoncé delivered a complete album that crossed several musical genres and did it so well that their only explanation for it was that she must have been playing a cheat.

It was reported in the New York Times five days before the Grammys. But Beyoncé, she would have known about that f-cksh-t ahead of time, probably while she was negotiating the terms of her performance. And there are other indications about what she knew.

Beyoncé was the most nominated artist at the Grammys with 9. During the broadcast, only 9 Grammys are awarded. There are a total of 75 Grammy categories. The major categories, Song of the Year, Record of the Year, and Album of the Year are always saved for live show time. The Recording Academy switches up the other broadcast categories by year. This year, the Urban Contemporary Album category was selected for broadcast. It is a not a category that makes the show year after year. But that’s the only award Beyoncé won during the broadcast this year – coincidence or conspiracy? They had to get Beyoncé up at the mic. They knew – and so SHE KNEW – that that would likely be the only one she would win.

Another indication that she KNEW was her acceptance speech. Everything she wanted to say was said, written down on a gold card that complemented her outfit (because Beyoncé’s not walking around carrying a crumpled piece of white paper, God I love her for the details!), and delivered exactingly so that it would be clear exactly what she was trying to accomplish with Lemonade, so that there would be no missed sentiment, no doubt, about her message. Because she KNEW. She knew it would be her only opportunity. All of this, however, was only illuminated when Adele’s 25 was called for Album of the Year – to us, at least. And then the rest of it became clear – to us. For Beyoncé, who KNEW, once again, we see the work in motion. The strategy. The planning. Everything that’s happened over the last two weeks was intentionally designed to peak during her 9 minutes performance. She always knew, but we should have known: that with Beyoncé, there’s always a bigger picture.

When you are Beyoncé, widely acknowledged by your peers to be peerless, currently the greatest entertainer among them, the one who keeps moving the targets while they’re still trying to catch up to her old ones, what do you do when they still won’t let you into certain rooms? Well, if you’re Beyoncé, you accept the invitation to their party – because they benefit from you being at their party – and you turn their biggest room into a self-coronation. She knew they would deny her. So she decided not to deny herself. Some call it too much. Some call it a lack of humility. Some of you in my mentions think it’s gross and “not gracious”.

I think it’s radical. I think it’s a radical act of defiance to show up knowing that Taylor Swift has TWO Album of the Year awards and Adele now has two Album of the Year awards and that she would end the night with still zero Album of the Year awards and decide that she would put on the most-talked-about performance of the night and make it so symbolically dense with iconography and maternal imagery – not only related to her own pregnancy and children but the birth of an idea of the future, a generation of women, specifically of black women, who will have more opportunity, who will, as she has tried to do, effect change. The pregnancy package from two weeks ago? All of that was building to this. Did she take it upon herself to be the sovereign of that movement. Please. OF COURSE. Should she have been more humble?

Why humble yourself to a system that sets limits for you? What is the point of being “humble” and, therefore “classy”, or “elegant”, and “gracious” when that system doesn’t give you a seat at the table during meetings to decide whether or not you are “gaming” their system? Why not appoint yourself the head of a new system on top of the very foundation of the system that was designed to remind you that you can only rise so high?

Beyoncé knew. She doesn’t have to tell us that she knew. She showed us what she knew

Thank you Lainey for writing this article.

It would be really funny whenever a trump supporter dies cause they can't afford health care now that their fave is dismantling the ACA

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After I saw this post that showed the red lotus members as teenagers, it really sunk in for me that they had to have done pretty nasty things and seen some shit to become such jaded and vengeful adults. What really struck me was how much they reminded me of the gaang, just all their smiles and bright young eyes that hoped for a future full of promise.

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“It’s too late bitch” 😂😂

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Love don’t live here no mo’ 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

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I’m screaming

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This is a huge deal. Don’t sugarcoat it.

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an iconic show about friendship and hardships in life

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I’m Whitney

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hey, I’m alive (à Big Sur, California)

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Visit Original Link

lagonegirl

After getting stung by bees when she was four, Mikaila Ulmer’s fear of bees shifted to a fascination. Ulmer became an activist after she learned how crucial honeybees are to sustaining life.

She’s a great kid with a head for business and branding

#BlackPride #BlackKids

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Her website is Me & The Bees and all of her items are available online!

A 4-pack of her variety lemonade (pear, mint, ginger, and iced tea) goes for $17.00 USD.

She also sells a “Busy Bee Chef Gift Set” for $22.00 USD which includes a child-sized Me & The Bees apron, a wooden mixing spoon, some of Mikaila’s original recipes, a sticker, and a personal note from Mikaila.

You can use her store locator to see where you can shop locally.

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This bedroom may claim to be the world’s most stunning room. It is equipped with a glass floor that allows you to enjoy the incredible beauty of the tropical underwater world. The bedroom is located in the house “Udang House” (or Shrimp House), which is part of a luxury resort “Bambu Indah”, on the island of Bali. This astounding bedroom has tempered glass floor panels, which reveal a stunning and magical underwater panorama of the fresh shrimp pond that the house is situated above. This room is filled with all sorts of plants, fish and crustaceans. Rustic decor of the house is completed with all the modern comforts, including the availability of air conditioning and wireless Internet access. This underwater bedroom is an excellent combination of ecology and luxury.

americanpsycho1991

i’m now seeing posts that are basically accusing therapists of being the same as ““““neurotypicals”””” who tell you that doing yoga will cure your depression

and it’s fucking killing me because ??? the idea of being annoyed by people telling you that stuff is because those people honestly think that doing yoga and “looking on the bright side” will magically cure your depression, because they can’t imagine happiness not coming as easily to someone else as it does to them. the idea isn’t that getting exercise and practicing positive thinking are useless ways to treat depression. but that’s what i’m seeing a lot of now and i just want to say…. i got some fucking bad news, cause that is the treatment for depression.

therapists telling you to get good nutrition and exercise are not the same as your yoga-instructor aunt on facebook posting pictures of the sunrise and wondering how anyone can be depressed when the world is so wonderful!!! thats not just an anti-recovery attitude, it’s an anti-treatment attitude, and it’s unbelievably ignorant.

there’s sort of this interesting circular form to dealing with mental illness, where you start in a place of “i just need to think positively and push myself out of this ditch” and then you move to step 2, which is “depression is a real and very serious illness and it’s not my fault that i’m tired all the time, stop telling me to just “think positive” all the time.”

But then there’s step three, which is where you size up your situation and say “look, i understand how serious my illness is, and i’m no longer blaming myself for it. And it sucks, and I don’t “deserve” this, and I didn’t bring it on myself. But regardless of how unfair it is, the truth is that I’m the only one who can actually do anything about it.” And so in a lot of ways, you end up with parallel ways of thinking as before, but this time you’re coming from a completely different source of understanding. People who don’t know anything about mental illness say “depression is a choice.” People who are fed up with being depressed and realize that wallowing in the comforting embrace of self-pity is useful to erase guilt, but ultimately won’t help them lead a better life say, “recovery is a choice.”

The first group means that if you’re depressed, you can just magically decide not to be depressed. The second group means that depression is a crushing weight on your back determined to make your life as miserable (and as short) as possible, and that you didn’t do anything to cause it, but that ultimately you have the choice of giving up and accepting being depressed for the rest of your life, or you have the option of making an effort to improve your quality of life. Similar statements, totally different meanings.

But I think a lot of people are sort of seduced by the comfort of giving up, and with the good intention of creating communities of understanding and non-judgement between mentally ill people, social media has unwittingly created communities of mentally ill people encouraging each other to give up. To just accept that this is the way their lives are, and there’s no possibility of getting better. And that’s how it’s gotten to the point of people dismissing actual mental health professionals as being no different than some ignorant person who doesn’t know the first thing about psychology and thinks an avocado smoothie will solve all your problems.

Avocado smoothie people are coming from the first perspective, that being depressed is a free choice that you can easily opt out of. Therapists are coming from the second perspective, where mental illness is a horrible reality, but given that you’re seeing them, a provider of mental health treatment, of fucking course they’re going to give you advice on how to treat your mental illness! Your therapist isn’t going to sit around and say “yeah man that sucks, haha look at this funny meme about how much you want to kill yourself.” Your therapist is going to give you recommendations of activities and habits that will help you recover. And they understand that these activities are not easy!!! They get that!!! The reason they’re there is to help you introduce these activities and ways of thinking into your life!!! Otherwise they’d just hand you a pamphlet and walk out!!!

But you can’t access that kind of help - the kind where you say “getting out of the house is a real problem for me, I never have the energy to get out of bed” and your therapist says “okay let’s figure out how to break this down into small steps, we’ll set a small goal for this week, and next time we meet you can tell me if it worked out, and if it did then we can figure out what the next goal will be, and if not then we can figure out why it didn’t work and try a different approach” - if you immediately dismiss any mention of recovery as “neurotypical bullshit.”

Anyways please please please take your healthcare seriously, get treatment, and realize that giving up and normalizing your depression/anxiety/etc as something that will never ever get better (yes, even if it’s a chronic condition that you’ll never fully cure, you still need to treat it) is not okay. Try to get good nutrition. Try to get sunshine and exercise. Try to be social. Making an effort to do things that will help you is not the same as thinking mental illness is a switch you can easily flip. Getting treatment is not the same thing as pretending your mental illness doesn’t exist or isn’t serious. On the contrary, getting treatment is taking your mental illness seriously. I’m not saying you should never make a joke or reblog a fucking meme or anything, I’m saying don’t use social media as your mental health care provider. Social media can be a way to vent, but venting is not the same thing as recovering.

Honestly it can take a very long time to get to that “step 3″ perspective but it’s a vital step.

killerblackberrypie

THIS.

I’ve got my boyfriend calling me at 8am every weekday morning to get me out of bed so that I *get out of bed*. I then tell him when I’ve gotten to the gym.

We have worked this out between us, consensually, because I can’t fucking make myself do it. Because depression. But when I get up and go to the gym, suddenly my days get way, way more functional. I eat real food, I run errands, I cook- instead of laying on the couch feeling like my diaphragm got nailed to the floor. (They don’t all necessarily happen every day, but they become at least theoretically feasible.) This isn’t part 1, it’s part 3. Because dammit, I am fucking sick of this shit. I don’t deserve it and it’s a real issue- and for me, having someone to basically hotwire me because my starter is broken is how we’re gonna get a routine that takes minimal spoons to run.

Sometimes depression is cureable. Sometimes it’s just treatable. But dissing treatment because “gah neurotypicals” is shooting yourself in the foot.

Sometimes self-care is baths and Netflix and junk food and Tumblr. And sometimes self-care is an arranged phone call at 8am.