shout out to the one person on here who thought the fish was alive and everyone was like "dude sorry to tell you this but...." because when no else had faith, you did 😭😭
The cutie pie who sent it to me forgot to tic the Anon box so now I know who they are *evil laughs*.
This is an obscenely long shitpost. I'm sorry for this. not really.
So dear fake Anon,
Thank you for your kind words. It happens to me too. I think it's because as we know the characters more profoundly we better understand what they say and why they act the way do. Same as when you know a person irl. So everything is resignificated all the time.
Old Xian has us in a strict tight intel regime. In a good way. Never thought that oxymoron could ever be possible.
Infatuation is a thing of the moment but falling in love with someone is a process. It just dawns on you one day and you're like, holy shit I'm thinking about this person while saving a stupid doggy sleeping on the street.
Right. Momo is not emotionally intelligent enough to understand that at that point. And that's just part of the problem.
I think this is what Ox is trying to tell us. That there's not one single defining moment that states they are in love with each other. There are several proofs of love throughout the story.
But there's something else, there's no way I can talk about HT falling in love with Mo without talking a little about his amazing character arc.
It's intertwined. As He Tian gets to know his Lil Mo more and more he falls deeper and clingier. And he slowly evolves. We can see it clearly the last chapter where we have him responding so beautifully. Behaving for once, not using violence, letting him speak without stupid snarky comments...
We have a crying He Tian.
Have you considered the magnitude of this?
So bring some beers and sit comfy here with me cause we are having the talk.
The nerdy talk.
ABOUT VIOLENCE IN 19 DAYS.
Part 3: Boys don't cry.
This shady character is introduced as a faceless dude clinging around an ash hair color guy. He comes off as a douchebag with a weird hair kink and zero respect for personal space.
After a little while he drops the ash guy and start harassing Jian Yi instead, inaugurating a very convenient third-wheel situation.
Those are perfectly laid traps from Old Xian.
Soon after we see him in the morning having a smoke at the school's entrance with the saddest mug. But when a fangirl comes along he plasters a smiley emoji in his face like it's nothing.
First sign of alarm.
Then he becomes the first main character to be given a name in the story. Before Jian Yi, before Xixi. Isn't that a big deal.
ch 104
Little classmate girl, please let me give you a piece of advice, you need to spice up your game cuz stupid lame-ass boring questions like that are only getting you stupid lame-ass boring people.
So we confirm he's popular but also, that he's bored as fuck. Because this guy is a hot intelligent dude pretending to be a hot what's your favorite color kind of dumbass.
Also because he has zero interest in those girls.
This scene works two ways I think. First, as anticipation for the Labrador element which later becomes an important moment in his arc. But also to continue to define that he is not who he seems.
We later find HT was trained to be a war machine cold-blooded perfect GI-Joe doll. He was taught to put on a smile, to hideaway his real feelings.
And he obeys to a certain point but he’s already sad, he’s already frustrated. So first chance he gets he acts rebellious like the impatient bastard he is. Smoking, for instance, trashing a window instead of opening it like any other human being.
Yes, he’s a teen, he’s supposed to act that way but what he's up against is the same paternalist mandate structure that made him who he is.
This was full masked early-stage HT. We slowly learn he's actually a sad intelligent profound fucked-up drama queen cookie.
And very gay.
It's amazing the doggie comes up this early. The reason that sparks his distancing from his childhood role model, his brother/foster dad who gave him love the best way he could.
Let's not perform a witch hunt on Cheng because of course, he's not a perfect dude (I know a certain someone who's strongly going to disagree with this), meaning that no one is fucking perfect. He's also been raised to become a cold war machine and he didn't have a Cheng to take care of him.
We don't know what happened to mother He but her oldest child must have picked some loving from her surely because he is a caring brother.
We can safely say he certainly didn't pick it up from He senior. That sexy hot cold-blooded monster.
The thing is in a patriarch sexist masculinity-hyped society, boys aren't allowed to cry. By no means can they be like those homos that are running around being sensitive. What is that shit.
But He Tian is not all compliant. He doesn't abide by every rule his family is trying to impose. So he runs to JY for the second time because why wouldn't he? he's a gorgeous guy.
HT's weird hair kink for JY also served two narrative purposes that I can think of.
First, to make ZXX go into the hottest jealousy mode. Second, to disguise this moment here as the prince charming coming to JY's rescue.
Ch 116.
He's already inviting him to do shit after school you see. This is a joke.
If you are a first-time reader maybe you feel the chemical reaction exploding in this panel, but maybe you don't.
Because He Tian and Mo were both introduced as antagonists. Both threatening Zhanyi's ship which was our main concern back when there was no Tianshan.
It is a damn trap. All this fucking thing.
Before we continue: I'm aware this might not be a popular opinion, please bear with me. This post can't hurt you. It's just we think different, that's all.
Story-wise I'm aware there are some theories saying that he was sent to the school to keep an eye on JY. I think we don't have enough information to clear that yet. It's a possibility though.
We don't know if this was their first encounter, maybe they've seen each other hanging around at school but look at them looking at each other now. The closed space in-between. They were trying to be intimidating thugs. Tough dudes being competitive idiots. I know.
But when you see the direction of their eyes there's no escaping. This is something else.
I think JY is perceptive so I don't think he's fooled by HT either.
Old Xian closes the frame accentuating the look, his obvious attraction. The composition including just Mo's mouth and leaving the rest of the world in suspension.
He wants to ravish that mouth. And he will, in the most unfortunate way. But we wouldn't be in this angsty beautiful mess if he had behaved properly, so kudos kid.
As we already know this guy acts playful and disruptive. Is violent and very shady. And if you're inside the trap you might think this is just him being angry or whatever.
But you're not fooling me, sad cookie. I know you too much now.
This moment works as anticipation in the narrative too. Like being introduced to Xiao Hui a few chapters before the love letter situation begins. Or She Li stalking them from afar in the crowd when they were walking to the stage to perform.
OX chooses to avoid showing MGS's reaction at this point. Because they are a smart-ass narrator. They choose carefully what to show us and what save for later or leave for interpretation. This author doesn't think their readers are idiots, not for a second.
We now know HT wasn't really into JY. More like the idea of having a best friend, someone to cling to like that. What he's always desired was his own ship. He quickly gets bored with JY, he gets bored after he meets the real deal.
I'm not saying he fell in love at that moment but it's undeniable HT was shaken to his core because after this he's absolutely hooked on red pepper. Going full-stalker mode finding out his phone number, his name, where he lives. Maybe he even asked Xiao Hui for advice.
So the next day, He Tian gets another bump at his kokoro when the too real hot fiery redhead calls on all of his bluffs with just one sentence.
Ch 138.
I don't think Mo is aware of the amount of truth he's saying here because it's not just one lesson he'll teach his future husband.
To me, this is when the taming procedure begins. And I always thought it was He Tian taming Mo, because he hits first, he's overpowering him every time. But that was just me falling into another trap.
Because this tame goes two ways.
So I'm sure you remember what happens next. Mo continues to challenge him, resisting to do as he says even though he came to him while pouring so yeah, you're fooling no one either little red bomb, and He Tian knees him right in the chest. That's how he was raised. To coerce with brute force but also to follow through without questioning.
There's something more too. I think he wants to quiet down whatever is going on in his insides, really. This is that fucked up thing where the kid that bullied you the most was actually into you.
So later they have an intimate moment in He Tian's apartment where he finds out Mo needs money but is a proud guy who doesn't want any charity, and that his family used to own a restaurant so he cooks deliciously.
The next morning he squeezes Mo's balls with JY and ZXX for the sake of vengeance. Then he gives him a name, his first nickname, and his first indirect love letter while telling him the lie that will be the foundation of his second indirect love letter.
So the guy has a hardcore crush but he's clueless. He doesn't know how to approach the beast and the fact that the other meets him with resistance only makes his hidden insecurities arise harder. Along with his temperament.
Later that night Cheng, Qiu and thug no.3 are introduced in the picture letting us know He Tian is directly related to the mob. At this moment a lot of things about the character start to piece together like beautiful clockwork. And it is only the beginning.
Right after flipping his brother, he spots MGS spying on him. Maybe he saw him earlier when he ran right past him. Mo Guan Shan finding He Tian and He Tian finding Mo is a recurrent gesture throughout the story. Because they are tied to each other.
He Tian’s also imparted with the silence code. What goes in the family stays in the family. He thinks MGS has seen or heard something that would blow his perfect happy A student cover. So he goes mobster on him, naturally. That’s another thing he’s learned, that in order to get people talking you have to beat the shit out of them.
If that doesn’t work, you buy them.
But everything blows in his face because he gets sidetracked.
ch 170.
I don't think Mo is afraid of He Tian. We now know he is a strong guy who endured being bullied by classmates, was pushed around by a thug when he was just a child, was almost killed by a grown man a little later, then repeatedly molested by a fucked up bully. Gets beaten up in street and school fights. He has a master's degree in violent shit. But we didn't know that back then. He Tian either. Another one of Ox's traps.
He Tian's force is intimidating as it is overwhelming and he must feel overpowered but I don't think that's fear shaking Mo internally and externally, it's just gay panic. No biggie.
The next day comes the first big lesson from Guan Shan and the author does something amazing which is to withdraw a key piece of information to resignificate the whole scene later.
This is is something the author does so fucking well.
Ch 175.
I don't think Mo's disgusted by the kiss, he's disgusted by the dick move.
Let's backtrack a little. Mo was watching He Tian playing basketball and we all know how much of a hot bastard he becomes when he does that. So HT is surrounded by his fangirls, spots Mo looking at him. Again. He walks up and asks why he's simping like that. But Mo obviously, diverts.
He Tian knows exactly the effect he has on people, he knows his looks are a weapon, and fucking hell does he know how to use it. Scaringly well for his age.
So he thinks it's an invitation. He thinks he's allowed in. He's not reading the room at all because he's an impatient fucker. And we are all screaming you blew it with tears in our eyes because we empathize with Mo but also with mixed feelings because the kiss was very hot(~).
He goes full tongue, what the fuck is he thinking?
And the worst part is after seeing Mo's reaction He Tian does what he knows best. He acts like it's nothing, as it was a joke, blurting out the redhead shouldn't overreact. And I think that hurts Mo even deeper than the violent intrusion itself. Because he thinks it wasn't serious, he thinks the guy is treating him like a plaything.
This isn't just MGS internalized homophobia.
OX does a wonderful parallel between both first non-consensual kisses making us one with the affected. We reject the toxic behavior as the characters do. Even if JY was funny because ZZQ was there and he did a war cry in anticipation. It was still violent because it is unwelcomed. Out of line.
The big difference is one is between two best friends, the other between complete strangers.
So Mo's hard-boiled rejection leaves He Tian so hurt and confounded he won't pull that move again until he gently kisses his tears away last chapter. You do the fucking math.
In between, he slips a few times of course. He's a horny fifteen-year-old and the hot redhead is very hot. How were you handling shit when you were that age?
However, every time he tries something "funny", rejection slaps him in the face. And this goes for the jealousy attacks too because those are just as toxic.
Later on, MGS gets home and tells his mother he will speak with her when he knows what's going on because indeed he's confused as fuck. Then the broken cookie enters his bedroom letting us know he had fallen asleep with HT's love letter by his side.
This valuable piece of information tells us he was most likely struck by HT touching all over him the night before and with the touchy message too. So we understand him staring He Tian like that the next day. So we understand why he gets that level of hurt when he does that to him.
After the kiss, comes the scapegoat situation where we meet the doggy and some of Cheng's teachings. That boys don't cry and that in order to protect your loved ones you have to become the strongest. So He Tian kicks She Li's ass stating Guan Shan's problems are his.
He antagonizes him and achieves an important goal because he will get MGS to take care of his wounds. So our internal shipper is yes.
BUT what solves this intricate matter is Xiao Hui pretending to take a selfie while stalking hot dudes (this is my personal headcanon, I like it, I'm keeping it).
What gets Mo out of the shitstorm is not He Tian's violent way. It's the more diplomatic solution. HT says to MGS She Li is not going to bother him anymore. But he doesn't know crap about Mo and his complicated history with the snake. He underestimates the entire situation.
Violence will escalate because of this. I'm not blaming him. It's just how the situation unfolds with these given characters.
And there's something else too. Mo Guan Shan doesn't want to be saved. He doesn't want other people meddling in his own problems. Because he's proud and stubborn. Because he's a manly man and it makes him feel weak. But also because he's deeply scarred by that matter and he can't possibly get over it so easily. We'll get to this later.
That night our four boys have dinner over He Tian's apartment for the first time to celebrate (ch 187) and two important things happen. First, Mo learns that wreck of a kiss was HT's first kiss too, and then, the bastard indirectly apologizes to him while talking to JY. Yes, that quote sometimes you can't help but want to pull closer. Because inside your heart you're hoping for an answer from the other person unquote.
The best part is MGS acknowledges it. He forgives him. Why do I say that? Because they keep getting closer.
As he's leaving, later on, Mo gets chilly so He Tian gives him his jacket and says something that hits the redhead right to his Achilles' heel. Yes, that quote you don't have to shoulder everything by yourself unquote. Get to this later on too.
This is the moment he slips the second love letter into the jacket's pocket (as my dear fake anon just reminded me, thank you 💚). MGS will discover this much later in the story but we all know what that letter says.
Next up He Tian gifts Mo his first pair of earrings and he gets him a job. We slowly see how the character starts doing things for the other because he's done for. Sometimes he's searching for some credit as the love beggar he is, like getting his medical fees from him but most times, he acts altruistically. This is one of Cheng's teachings too.
Do you remember that meme "get yourself someone who looks at you the way this kid looks at that piece of cake"? Well...
ch 210
To me this beautiful expression does it. That's not the infatuation look we had earlier, that's the I love you with all my heart look.
I'm not sure if he's fully aware of his feelings just yet but from this moment on we can spot that stupidly in love face every time HT looks at Mo.
Because he understands immediately that everything Mo touches turns to gold, he sees his potential right away, like a talented talent hunter. He takes him to the photography studio and in no time the redhead shows how much of a hardworking, capable dude he is. He takes him there with the expectation he will get discovered, and he does.
He Tian starts to understand his Lil Mo better. He learns how to be with him, how to talk to him. Because he sees that behind that wall of toughness there's actually a very naive sweet child, an only child so a little bratty too. The kind that goes running to his mother asking why there's a hot dude in his bedroom.
What a catch, my boy. To get to know a fiery pepper that can be that level of straightforward and real. Who spots bullshit in an instant, that isn’t afraid of speaking his mind, of showing his true feelings like that.
Who won’t take money to be put out on display acting like a phony idiot. You see, a reality check.
The one who goes running to his house because he thinks he’s taking his own life. That keeps fighting despite being hurt. That silently takes the blame for his idiotic behavior. The guy who'll go ballistic at the thought of him getting buried under a slope.
A working class guy with a magnificent life pulse that says straight to the rich guy's face he’s going to make enough money to make him call him daddy.
Mo is going to impart this impatient fucker that he can’t take whatever he wants without consequence. That there are other realities where people have to think and work hard before they even have the ability to buy a fucking guitar.
That life is unfair. That even if you tell the truth no one is believing you because of that predetermined notion they have on you. Because social prejudice.
It's not a matter of not being courageous enough to chase your dreams.
He taught He Tian that is okay to show his real feelings, that he doesn’t have to hide away in his nightmares.
That his true smile, not the phony one, can move even mountains. See what a fucking cheese I am…
This is the story of them building a strong foundation.
Mo Guan Shan is not a desperate housewaifu expecting to be saved. He’s not a princess locked away in a tower waiting for a dude to awaken him. Let's kill those harmful narratives.
I don’t think that’s the definition of love Old Xian is developing here.
Because the one dude that "saved" him earlier in his life tried to tie him in the most horrific of ways and he still lives with the consequences of that, he marked him with a burning chain just the other day. But he's not defeated, the hell he is.
I think this is a story about empowerment. That what doesn’t kills you makes you stronger shit.
Even if Mo Guan Shan still has to learn it’s okay to accept help from others. That's a separate matter. Maybe he learns now, maybe he does later on... He will eventually, He Tian and the other two dorks have been trying to teach him this for a while.
But right now he wants to take care of things on his own terms. And I’m hoping badly He Tian is going to respect his wishes.
I believe this He Tian will.
Ch 367
A rich brat who doesn't care that his brother's perfectly tailored jacket gets ruined full of tomato sauce understanding some more about the injustice of this world.
I think He Tian must feel terribly ashamed of waving his credit card in Mo's face now. And those times he paid him the equivalent of 9 days’ work for a video call.
He Tian is a strong beast, a temperamental cookie so yes, his blood must be boiling seeing Mo hurting like this. I’m sure he can’t wait to make the snake suffer ten times the price.
But not tonight.
Tonight He Tian chose comfort. He was able to bypass his violent upbringing to take care of Mo, to be there for him.
Tonight he’s crying because Mo is not telling him to fuck off or that he doesn’t understand. Because Mo is opening up to him. Tonight he’s a former bully catching up to what it feels like to be in Mo’s shoes.
And Mo is asking HT to believe in him because he wants to show him he’s worthy. It all goes back to the promise he made his dad.
We still haven’t heard HT’s verbal take on this whole situation. He is a listener now, comforting with hugs, by kissing his tears away. I know I trashed his dinner hosting the other day well now all I have are flowers for him. I’m so proud baby.
Their characters’ arcs are a sweet thing and for them to get to this place together in unison. Isn't it beautiful?
I’d love it if he’s able to tell MGS all the reasons he loves him so much.
This gorgeous metaphor of them going through all this shit to learn how to be emotionally intelligent to understand one another, to better communicate... This is a life lesson from OX.
There's only a couple of points I wanted to bring attention to before the next update.
Really proud of Mo (naturally) and HT, which I wasn't expecting so much but the boy has made some major growth here.
I wanna start with where we are brought back to the present, after finding out what She Li did to MGS (I can only imagine how hoarse Mo's voice must sound ;n; ). This was a stand out moment for me because HT made a real step here. In this moment he is commiserating with Mo and not putting his own feelings first. How many times has He Tian responded with anger (often at mo himself!) For being a target of She Li. This is also (in my, typically wrong, opinion) not so much an apology of "I'm sorry I wasn't there". Nor was Tian trying to erase what Mo went through; he just wanted to sit with Mo in his pain, to be there in THAT moment- no where else. ( @ sarniewolf made a point about this, so props to them!)
Now for the scene that made every heart bleed out. Mo did more growing, (along with the recent chapters) here we got a glimpse of him making an effort to be understood! It was very honest (and through his wrecked voice) to ask He Tian to believe in him; Mo is admitting a lot of things. A tacit plea of "I had the courage to try to change. Now I'm daring to dream, but I need you there to support me; to steady me." (Ch.346)
Speculating on the art composition is NOT my forte (I hope you don't mind too much Fujoshi ;3;) but I'm trying to pay more attention. One thing is how they are both center and pretty much eye level; like they're totally on the same page and understand each other without question. Another is their particular perspectives; He Tian is not seeing Mo in a vacuum but how Mo exists in the world he was born into. A world of poverty, disrespect, the futility of fighting to find a better life AND Mo's iron will to keep fighting anyways.
Mo in return is no longer seeing the world, he only sees He Tian. Seeing a face showing (probably) the most hurt and bare emotion Mo has ever seen. It's a face that does not lie; if Mo had doubts of HT's motivations then I think that look alone will fix that.
Bonus!
This panel (ch.199) caught my eye. I think it's safe to say when this chapter came out He Tian did NOT fit this description (of presumably Mo's best fit for a partner) but with this most recent chapter? Well he's changed a lot- hopefully only more of this caring, gentle, and understanding side of HT to come!
Okie dokie! Imma just come out and say I don't think He Tian fighting She Li is the right way to go
We all (to varying degrees) want to see She Li pay. I could do a whole compare/contrast on HT/SheLi dynamics; what makes them the same and different yadda yadda
BUT
Here's the thing: Having He Tian react to what She Li did completely defeats the purpose of Mo Guan Shan's character arc
There is a lot of emotions out here in this space that treat Mo like the "Damsel in Distress" trope. The thing is Mo has never been helpless; that is what his whole journey has been about (well, among other, incredibly gay things)
Firstly I think Mo is a character a lot of people identify with because 1) this is the character we have the most active knowledge about and 2) a LOT of his experiences mirror the average human being's (feeling wrong, being unable to match expectations, being insecure, doing good things and being punished for exposing that vulnerability, etc.)
Obviously his life is much more dramatic but the core essence is the same- he is a sensitive, naive person growing up in a harsh and unforgiving world. Mo is taken advantage of and is coloured as a burden on society (and who hasn't felt out of place in their world at one time or another)
Second(ly?) Mo is not helpless. His entire relationship with He Tian has been MGS pointedly NOT backing down to HT's demands (again, another post). Through these actions (and the unrelenting affection of the all the boys; "we miss you when you aren't around" vibe) Mo gained the strength to see a world beyond what he thought was possible for himself AND what he was capable of. Confronting She Li put all that into action
Third(ly??) This is STILL Mo's character arc, which means it should be Mo's decision on how to handle She Li. Not He Tian's. Mo is a bleeding heart- he yells and hits because if he looks too long in your eyes he'll see your sadness and, like a orphaned baby, he'll pick you up and take you home (cussing you out all the while). Moreso MGS isn't a revenge character, he doesn't look to who has wronged him and figure out ways to make the person hurt. That's why he's got friends like Buzzcut (he sees a person hurting and takes that burden for them.)
All this to say: Mo doesn't care about She Li(anymore), he focuses on the people in his life who matter. If She Li "accidently" got tossed into a garbage truck, well that's fine but it isn't the aim. Mo is FINALLY thinking about himself and a future that he actually looks forward too- and he came to that conclusion by himself (with the latest chapter369)
He Tian going to 'get revenge' on She Li not only continues the cycle of violence Mo has had to endure, but will only ignite further abuse to all sides of this issue. It Is Not Worth It
If you read this far, you are an impeccable human being, I didn't mean to drag this on for so long- hope you have a good day!
I might be off base but I've been thinkin' (after re-reading quite a few chapters)
Mo Guan Shan was told that he was a bad person by others around him ever since his father was jailed. To the point that he believed it right? Which was drilled in even harder by She Li; that Mo was Infact a monster and only belonged in the cruel world he was born into.
I think Mo was struggling to see if he could allow himself to dream of a world where he wasn't a monster. That he could do what he wanted like Tian said, that he's appreciated and worth being fussed over like Jian Yi and Zhengxi make him believe (or try to)
That's why the confrontation with She Li was so important- Mo struggles to see himself as a good person but seeing and being hurt by She Li made MGS very aware of the person he would never be again (by proxy, he wouldn't let that cruel world take him over either)
I don't know what will happen but it's fair to say Mo won't be the same. I really hope from here on that HT and MGS recommit to each other; not just understanding the other one better but making an effort to be understood
(no more secrets! I can dream anyway)
More importantly I need Jian Yi to cuss Mo out for running away from friends and for the four of them to promise to rely on each other, no matter what happens
(bc we know some of what will happen and if the four of them just shatter and basically never speak as a group again I will cry myself into a coffin)
romaincrisis
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