One Million Plays

Justin Bennie is a writer in Philadelphia

[1millionplays-blog]

Play 12: Cybists part 1

play 12

SCENE ONE. NARRATOR It is the year 2025. America is in ruins. The evil genius Bernie Sanders is in his third term as President of the United States. There is no more lower class. No more corporate interest getting involved with issues like health care. Students can go to public university for free. It is terrible. The American Government, or AG for short, has gone to great lengths to hide most of America's greatest achievements from the American people. The works of artists like Jackson Pollock, music by the Rolling Stones, and most notably, the film the Internship. For a while, it seemed as if these great works would but gone forever. A select few people emerged, however, that sought to change this. They called themselves The Cybists. There were 5 Cybists: Weston, the tank, Tank, the brains, Harddrive, the cute one, Sphere, the one with the weird name, and Justin, the leader. Together, through hacking and exploring every inch of the Cyber world we like to call "The Internet," they searched and searched. They are in a dimly-lit room. Outside, you can see neon lights. During the course of the scene, everybody is furiously typing. These five people are dressed in weirdly shaped black clothing. It flows where it shouldn't, it is tight where it shouldn't be. They also have various accessories on. Annoying neon colors are in their hair. Harddrive has a hula-hoop around his waist as he types. WESTON Come on guys, Keep hacking. We almost have all of Exile on Main St by the Rolling Stones. TANK I think Mick and Kip will be very pleased to hear that their record has been reborn. Tank loads a floppy disk in the disk drive. As he slams the drive shut, way too hard for it to be good for the computer, he says "Cowabunga" and everybody cheers. JUSTIN Alright alright, settle down. This is not quite a time for celebration. We need to keep searching. The AG may have lost this round, but we still don't have the motherload. Justin points to an old, torn up poster for the Internship. JUSTIN Weston, have you considered using... WESTON ...no.. Its not... its not ready yet. JUSTIN God damn it, West, you're our tank here. You know it is as ready as it'll ever be TANK (whispering to Sphere) What are they talking about? SPHERE (whispering back to Tank) A prototype code Weston built. You type in something you're looking for and it searches the entire internet for that one thing. TANK Whats the problem with it? SPHERE When Westy over there used it to look up his sister's address to test it out... let's just say the Weston family had one less person to shop for that Christmas... Because she got killed. TANK Howd that happen? I don't... I don't... I don't understand. SPHERE Its what us hackers call a "bug." Sometimes a bug manifests itself physically and... well... you can guess what happens from there. JUSTIN (to everybody) I think I know what we can do. There is this hacker... Onyx. Really blackhat. Spent ten years in maximum security for... HARDDRIVE The Obamacare bust? That was legendary. JUSTIN Exactly. Onyx frequents this club called The Shower. I think our best bet is to go there... find Onyx and see if he can debug Weston's build. WESTON Ok. Lets do it. How do we find him there? JUSTIN Him? Justin smirks Onyx is a girl. Everybody gasps. WESTON We can't trust a girl with this code! JUSTIN Its the only way. Everybody pack up, suit up. We're gonna get this thing. Everybody packs up their huge amounts of frivolous computer gear and loads into the van. SCENE TWO Its at The Shower. There is a DJ blasting loud industrial music. It is full of cyberpunks dancing and computing. The five Cybists all stay close together looking for Onyx. They go up to different people looking for Onyx. JUSTIN (to dancer) I'm looking for Onyx the hacker. DANCER 1 I'm Onyx the blacksmith. TANK (to dancer 2) Do you know where we can find Onyx the hacker? DANCER 2 (very mysteriously) Perhaps if the rabbit seeks the hole... the hole will show itself to be... (now bluntly) Oh she's over there. The crew walks over to Onyx JUSTIN We hear you're the best. ONYX (typing feverishly) Hold on... hold on... Done! I just changed the name of the country to American't. The Cybists are stunned. WESTON We're trying to debug this search engine we're working on. Can you help us? ONYX Whats in it for me? TANK Endless viewings of the Internship for the rest of your life. How the hell does that sound? ONYX (smirking) I'll see what I can do. Onyx starts hacking away. She makes a lot of grunts as she is doing it, like it is very hard work. After a little bit of hacking and everybody looking anxious, she puts her hands up and proclaims that shes done. JUSTIN We're now one step closer to getting The Internship. And saving American't. DJ Onyx has done it again! Time to soak it up! The DJ presses a button which causes giant showerheads to release huge amounts of water and soap starts emitting from giant soap dispensers, covering everybody and everything. This was done as a celebratory thing, but it clearly caused damage to all of the computers. The cybists are very upset. ONYX Why do I keep coming here to hack? This happens literally every time. NARRATOR What will come of the Cybists? Will they recover their damaged computers? Will they get The Internship back into the hands of the American't people? Find out in part 2.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play 11

LIGHTS UP ON:A YOUNG MAN WATCHING TV Trevin is watching TV. He feels bored, lethargic. Life isn't going great for him. He has been going through a rough patch in his life. Nothing is on. TREVIN Sometimes, I can't help but feel like there is nothing to live for. Like a fish with no hook to get caught in. A retiree with no grandkids. Flipping through the channels, he stumbles upon an interview with Owen Wilson on Entertainment Threenight INTERVIEWER So Owen, what can you tell us about this exciting new project you're working on? Trevin perks up. This is just the jolt he needed OWEN I'm Glad you ask, Trevina. As you know, I've taken a little bit of time off from acting. I spent some time with my wife and kids, who I like very much. But after a while, I started feeling like... Feeling like I had no purpose. Like a bear without a bear trap. INTERVIEWER Or a retiree with no grandkids? OWEN Exactly. I called my agent and said "I need a new part." And Trevino, he said to me, well O.W. I have just the part for you sitting on my desk. It's called TI 2. INTERVIEWER TI2? I've heard of T2, but TI? OWEN Well, Trevina, TI2 is going to be the next installment in The Internship franchise. After the sucess of the last film, Vince locked himself in his cabin in Marinette County Wisconsin and cranked this puppy out. INTERVIEWER Oh boy! Can you give us any scoops about the new movie? OWEN Well, Trevina, I don't know how much I can say, but it is going to really be a great piece of business. The script, last I heard, is a beefy one. We're looking at a 430 page script. There is talk of splitting it up into 3 films. INTERVIEWER Why that is just delicious! Just delicious! Trevin turns off the TV and scrambles to run up to his parents' bedroom and wake them up to tell them that the Internship is getting a sequel. In the process, he slips on a rug and falls, knocking himself unconscious. He wakes up in his bed. His mom is standing over him. TREVIN (sleepily) Uhhh Mom.... Mom.... Is that... is that you? What happened? MOM Hi honey. Its time to get up for summer school. TREVIN Mom, Did you hear about The Internship? Its coming back. More movies... More movies... MOM Honey... I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it thrice, I've sa... TREVIN (interrupting) I've said it a million times. MOM That was a dream. There is no new Internship movie, dear. Its all in your head. You need to get your damn head out of the clouds and into the books. TREVIN Aw shucks mom. MOM Don't forget to take the trash out to the curb on your way out. Dad's orders. TREVIN I wish Owen Wilson was my dad.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play 10 is the Biggest Ever

ACT I: A Child is Born

The setting is a hospital room. A woman is in labor. The doctor, an older man is by her side, trying to help her through the procedure. 

Doctor: You have to keep pushing, Mrs. Hendelson! It is the only way this child will come out. Push God Dammit! 

Mrs. Hendelson: Can’t you see I’m trying? I keep pushing, and pushing and nothing is working! 

Doctor: I know you’re trying, Mrs. Hendelson. I know it can be hard. I have a story to tell you. I was once a young man, probably the same age you are now. It was a simpler time. The air was fresher. My face was glowing. I was excited to grow up and pursue my dreams. I wanted to be an exotic dancer. This was something I tried to keep a secret. I was not proud of my dreams. But they were my dreams, and I realized I had to own them if I ever wanted to accomplish them. So I started telling everybody. It affected my social life, my love life. My family life. My parents were, of course, mortified by the resolution. “You’re halfway through medical school, Jim. You’re going to throw your life away to become a minimum-wage gigolo at some sleezeball club? You’re not the son I thought you were,” they’d say. I didn’t care, though. I worked for it, and worked for it. I spent many nights at clubs, silent studying the ways of the male stripper. Slowly, but surely, I was getting my footing. I was getting the experience I needed. One day, I went up to the owner of this particular club called Woodrow Woodson’s and said I wanted to audition. He laughed at first. He looked me up and down and said I didn’t have what it takes. I begged, pleaded. I needed this opportunity. Did it take months of learning? Sure. Did it take a few alleyway encounters with some men? Sure. But I got there. And I was ready for it. Do you know what happened to me that night, Mrs. Hendelson?

Mrs. Hendelson continues pushing, seemingly ignoring his story.

Doctor (cont.): I didn’t get the job. I made a fool of myself in front of this poor club owner, and now I’m the one who isn’t allowed to go within 500 feet of that particular establishment. But you know what? That is all over with. That was many years ago. Fuck those guys anyway. The little... the little bitch wouldn’t even give me a chance. I was born to work there! 

Mrs Hendelson: If you think its so easy... why don’t you just push for me?

Doctor: Oh, if you say so. 

The doctor goes up to the woman and “pushes” until the baby comes out.  

The baby begins crying.

Doctor: Oh look, it is a beautiful baby girl.

Mrs. Hendelson: I think its a boy, actually.

Doctor: Yes, that’s what I said.

The doctors hand the child to the mother. She holds him, crying tears of joy.

Doctor (holding birth certificate): What would you like to name him, Mrs Hendelson?  

Mrs. H: I’d like to name him Martin, after his father who unfortunately passed away last year. 

Doctor: Fartin? That’s pretty messed up, Mrs. Hendelson. Here you go, though.

He hands her a birth certificate that reads “Fartin Hendelson/Born Februrary 15, 1997.”  Mrs. Hendelson’s tears turn to tears of sadness and desperation. 

Act II: Fartin at 8 Years Old

Mrs. H: How was your first day of school today, honey?

F: How do you think it was, mom? I

Mrs. H: That bad, huh?

F: I wish I was dead! Or that you’d change my name! 

Mrs. H: Hey, don’t talk like that! You’re named almost in honor of your father, little F. Never forget that. Your dad was a great, powerful man. He lived life to the fullest, and you will too. Sure, your names are a letter apart, but that isn’t important. What is important is that you carry Martin Hendelson’s legacy, and you make him proud.

F: Why can’t you just change my name to Martin, though Mom?

Mrs. H: Unfortunately, that is impossible. Once you have a name, you are stuck with it for life. 

F: Ok... Mom, can I ask one more thing? 

Mrs. H: Yes, honey? 

F: What did daddy do for a living?

Mrs. H: He was one of the men who founded the website Google.com. He was a very smart man, very ahead of his time.

ACT III: Fartin at Age 13

(At school)

Bully 1: Hey Shittin’, what are you doing this weekend? 

Fartin (Wearing Google t-shirt): Nothing much, Micky. Probably reading.

Bully 1: Oh yeah? My pap and I are racing in the big Father-Son crawlathon in San Fran. I wanted to know if you wanted to come along, and maybe be a part of the team? 

Fartin (Smiling): I’d really like that.

Bully 1: heh. Too bad. See ya, shitbrain.

Fartin runs home crying. He jumps into bed and buries his head in his pillow. He looks up and sees a Google poster. He smiles.

ACT IV: He Discovers the Film

Fartin is in a movie theater. The preview for The Internship plays. Fartin stares in awe. 

After the movie, he returns home and his mom greets him in the kitchen.

Mrs H: How was Train Wars?

F: It was great, Mom. Really, really great.

Mrs. H: You seem awfully excited, little guy. You’re not getting excited about another movie trailer are you?

F: Mom, they’re making a movie about Google! Vince Vaughn is in it, Owen Wilson is in it and I need to see it! Fist me, mom! Let me fist you, mom!

Mrs. H. is mortified.

F: Its a line in the movie! I’m so excited. Can we go to the premiere? Its all I ever wanted and I’m jumping for joy! Dad finally made it. His dream is alive.

Mrs. H: Ok, you little baked potato. Only if you finish your dinner though!

Act V: The Premiere

Mrs. H and Fartin are standing behind velvet ropes, looking at all the people in tuxedos getting out of limos. 

Mrs H: Oh wow, look! Its Eric Bana!

F: Mom, look! Wilmer Valderama! Oh wow. This is like a dreamland. Pinch me, for I must be on Cloud 9. Ahhhh.

Mrs H (In shock) hits Fartin on the arm: Look. Its...its... its... 

F: Vince Vaughn.

Vince Vaugh steps out of his limo. He is hulking, muscular. He looks sleepy, like he may have had a few beers before the premiere. 

F: I need to meet him. 

Fartin jumps over the rope and starts running toward Vince.

Mrs. H: No, don’t! 

F: Mr. Vaugh! Mr. Vaughn! 

The security take out pistols and start shooting Fartin in the back. He collapses to the ground. Vince Vaughn runs up to him.

Vince: Hey, are you ok little guy? You really shouldn’t run up to me like that! My security is very vigilant. They’re not afraid to kill a kid.

F: Am I going to be alright Mr. Vaughn?

Vince: I’m sorry, Kid. I don’t think so. My guys are the best. They shoot to kill. They’re fucking animals. 

F: I guess that’s life... Fickle.  Hey Mr. Vaughn? Can you sign my shirt for me? 

Vince: Sure, kid. Its the least I can do. Who do I make it out to?

F: To Fartin. 

Vince: Fartin? What is this some sort of a sick joke?

F: No, I’m afraid not.

Vince: Your parents must be fucked up, Kid. You’d gotta be sick to name a kid that.

F: The doctor misheard my mom when filling out the birth certificate.

Vince: Why didn’t she just change it afterwards?

F: Its not possible.

Vince: Sure it is. Its really fucking easy. I see Hollywood types do it all the time. Your mom’s just a lazy sack of shit.

Fartin starts gasping in pain.

Vince: Hey uhh Look kid. It doesn’t look like you have much time left. Do you have anything you want to say before you croak?  

Fartin: I just want...

Vince: Yeah?

Fartin: I just want....

Vince: Yeah? Spit it out, you little shit.

Fartin: I want everybody to go see The Internship, in theaters June 7. 

Fartin sighs and goes limp.

THE END 

[1millionplays-blog]

play 9

IN THE KITCHEN

JASON

(while eating cereal and reading the paper) Hey honey, how are you doing this morning?

MARISSA Oh you know... More or less the same.

JASON Oh that is just great.

MARISSA Jesus, Jace. What crawled up your ass this morning?

JASON I'll tell you what. The Internship...

MARISSA Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

JASON Don't "Jesus Christ" me. The Internship fucking flopped this weekend. It got crushed... It got crushed by some piece of shit horror flick "The Purge." What the hell...

MARISSA Oh who cares! Its no big deal.

JASON It is a big deal. It is important to me. A lot more important than you could ever know.

MARISSA Why? I don't understand! Why do you care so much about this movie?

JASON It matters, Marissa! This movie is all I've had going. And now its all gone. Its all fucked up, like my pathetic excuse for a goddamn life.

MARISSA Don't talk like that in front of our son. JASON

He doesn't fucking care. Look at the little bastard. He can barely keep his head up. The kid is empty upstairs.

Their son's head is sagging down

MARISSA Still, it is not good for him to hear that kind of talk.

JASON How many times did you see The Internship this weekend?

MARISSA You know I've been busy.

JASON How many times?

MARISSA Once.

JASON JUST ONCE! I saw it eleven times this weekend. I put my heart into this picture, and you ripped it out and shit all over it!

MARISSA

(crying) It doesn't make any sense. Why do you care about this movie? It has been completely destroying our marriage.

She knocks her purse off the counter. The items scatter over the floor, including a love-note from another guy and a ticket to The Purge.

JASON What is that?

MARISSA What is what?

JASON On the floor... What is that? 3.

MARISSA Jason, I'm sorry. There has been no love here in this marriage. I felt like I needed affection. I'm lonely!!

JASON No, not that. I don't give a shit. The ticket! What does it say?

MARISSA 8:30 showing of The Purge.

JASON An 8:30 showing of The Purge.

SON Dad... I'm going to be late for school

JASON

(mocking) I'm going to be late for... SHUT UP! Marissa, I have to take my son to school now, but I want you to pack your bag. I have tried to reason with you. I have tried to explain the importance of this film, since they announced it. But you don't understand. This is a household of American values. We're a baseball family. We're an apple pie family. God dammit, we are a Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson family. How hard is that to understand? Are you stupid, or just too much of a selfish bitch to realize this?

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Eight

Here is play eight! Thanks for reading!

Play Eight There is a little boy. His dad is reading the newspaper. Boy Daddy? Father Yeah, son? Boy Can we go see The Internship on June 7th? Father The Internship? What is that? Boy Its a new comedic film coming out. Father Sounds intriguing. Who is in it? Boy Well... It stars Owen Wilson and cowriter Vince Vaughn. They are middle-aged men who get internships at Google. Father Why... that sounds delightful Let's do it. Boy Thank's dad, you're the best.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Seven

Play Seven There is a young man typing on his computer. His father comes into his room, visibly upset. Father So, Justin, what are you doing? Justin I'm working on these play things. Father Oh. What are they about? Justin Goo- Father Google. You're writing about Google. You're always fucking writing about Google. Justin Well, I just think they're neat. Father Yeah, they're neat. How about you stop with this internet shit. You have bigger fish to fry, Justin. Justin Dad, please stop. Let me just write my plays in peace. Father Yeah, yeah. You write your plays. Just know that nobody will ever read them.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Number Six

Here is play number six! Seven will be up later on today.

Play Number Six A longtime boyfriend and girlfriend are a ta nice restaurant eating dinner. Boyfriend So Sarah, how was work today? Girlfriend Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Jess will not stop talking about Roseanne. Enough is enough already! Boyfriend Well, that's her alright. I have to confess... I had an ulterior motive for asking you out her today. Girlfriend Oh, really? Boyfriend Yeah... If you recall, this is where we went on our first date Girlfriend Of course. And our first anniversary. Boyfriend Yeah, yeah. And it is somewhere that I've felt is very important to our relationship as a result. Which is why... Girlfriend Yeah? Boyfriend I thought this was as good a place as any to ask you... The girlfriend is glowing at this point. Boyfriend Will you go see The Internship with me on June 7th? Girlfriend I don't know what to say.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Number Five

Play Number Five Josh and Katie are college sweethearts. They are going on their first road trip together. They're cruising down the highway. Josh is behind the wheel, Katie is the "navigator." Josh Hey katie, could you check Google Maps for me, and make sure I'm supposed to get off Exit 15? Katie Hold on, I don't have the Google Maps app, I'll just check the Mapquest app. Josh Well could you install it really quickly? I just prefer using that over Mapquest. Katie It isn't a big deal, honey, it is all the same shit. Josh Except it isn't. Come on, the exit is coming up soon, just check Google for me. Exit 15 approaches quickly Katie Yeah, it is right, take this exit Josh drives right past it without even flinching Katie (angrily) Josh, that was it! Josh Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know, because you didn't check Google like I asked you to. Katie You're so silly, Josh. I don't get it. Here, just take this exit. Josh No! I will not take this exit, because this trip is over! I thought I could trust you to help me get there, but apparently I cannot. So shut up while I drive us back to school. They sit in silence. Katie is crying. Josh has a smug sense of satisfaction on his face.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Number Four

Hey guys! Thanks for reading these. I'm only on numbers four and five, but I already can feel the momentum of this project pushing me to bigger and better things. A few steps closer to a million!

Play Number Four

There is a funeral. A young man is in the casket. His name is Ethan. Billy, his beloved friend, gets up to say a few words.

Billy

I don't really know what to say. This took me by complete surprise. Ethan and I have always been best friends. We were inseparable. I remember... I remember he would come over, and my mom would come downstairs and greet him with a "Hi, second son." And he would say back "Hi mom." I never really... I never really had a brother, and I had always wanted one, so to me, Ethan WAS that brother.

The audience is tearing up at his earnestness.

Billy

He was really such a sweet guy. It is so sad that things between us had to end how they did. As many of you know, in the spring of 2010, Ethan and I had a bitter falling out. He was always into technology. I'd call him the geeky older brother I never had. He was always talking about designing little websites, and he was always watching Tech TV. He told me he was going to design a website that was going to be huge. Of course, this grabbed my interest. I asked him what he was planning. He said it was going to be the next big search engine. He told me it was going to crush Google. I was... I was disgusted. I felt betrayed... Like... Like he ripped out my heart and buried it in the ground, not unlike we are about to do to his lifeless body.

At the sound of "lifeless body," Ethan's mother collapses into her husbands arms.

Billy

He knew that I loved Google, and that my devotion to Google trumped even my friendship with Ethan. It was the last conversation we'd ever have. It was a bitter falling out, one that will haunt me for the rest of my days. I thank God that I have the support of my loving family... and of course, Google, to guide me through this. I look forward to seeing The Internship in theaters June 7th. Thank you.

The crowd applauds as Billy sits down

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Number Three

Play Number Three There is a father and son walking to their house from outback. Father Good game of catch, son. Son Thanks dad. For an old fart, you still have a hell of an arm. Father Yeah, you do too. For a little girl. They both laugh. Son Thanks, dad. Hopefully some day, I'll make it to the big leagues. The son continues walking, laughing. The father freezes. Father What did you say? Son I said maybe some day I'll make it to the big leagues. Father That is what I thought. Tanner, you know you're no good for that. You're going to work for Google some day, boy. Son Dad, dad. You always say this. Have you ever thought I don't want to work for Google? The father grabs the son Father You listen to me, God dammit. Google is the greatest company the world has ever seen. You should be honored to have the opportunity to work there some day, if you try hard enough. Lord knows I'd jump at the idea to work for Google if I was young like you. Son I know, dad. I know. Let's go inside

[1millionplays-blog]

Play Number Two

Play Number Two A man walks into a kitchen. His wife is sitting at the table. Man Hey honey! I have some big news! Woman Ooooh thats great! They kiss on the lips Woman what is it? Man You know the promotion I've been talking about? Woman Yeah Man I got it! Woman yahoo! That's terrific Man What did you just say? Woman I said it is wonderful, dear. Man No... You said something else.. What did you say? Woman I said "Yahoo" Man Yeah, you did. In fact, you're always saying "yahoo." You just love Yahoo don't you? Woman Not really, I don't really care about Yahoo Man You're such a little fucking liar. Woman Don't talk to me like that! I'm your wife! Man Are you sure? Maybe you should look it up on Yahoo to find out. Woman I think this is over. I think I'm going to stay at my mom's house tonight. Man Yahoo.

[1millionplays-blog]

Play number one

Play Number One

There is a man sitting in a chair at a table. The radio is playing an old crooner quitely. Man They don't make 'em like they used to. I sure do miss the days of Bing Crosby. A woman walks in Woman Did someone say "Bing?" Man Lisa, do you ever shut up with Bing? Woman Well I'm sorry. I'm just a little excited when new search enginges come out, you know that. Man It isn't even new! Its been around for years! Woman I'm not so sure about that Man Well I am Woman Let me look it up on Bing. Man Enough with fucking Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing! You'd probably sleep with Bing if you could. Woman Well at least I care about something. She stomps off stage, crying. The man turns up the radio. Man *sighing* They don't make 'em like they used to...

[1millionplays-blog]

One Million Plays

Hi, welcome to my new blog titled One Million Plays. The goal of this blog is simple: I want to create. The best way to create is not to meditate on it for days or years as time passes... it is to just create. As an aspiring writer of plays and other fiction, it is often hard to find inspiration. This blog is serving as a way to circumvent that. My goal here is to write a play a day for the next million days. Eventually, I will have a million plays on here. After that, I will try to arrange performances of these plays and maybe I will have them all published in a book.

The inspiration from this really comes from the playwright Suzan-Lori Parks. She had a project called 365 Days/365 Plays where she wrote a play everyday for a year. I wanted to take that and amplify that. My first play will be posted tomorrow and will continue for the next million days. They may be short, just a few lines, or they may be lengthy, several pages.

Come back here for updates!