Finally got around to actually using Toyhouse... it's kind of a lot. I've played with block coding many times on scratch, and I tried to learn HTML a bit in elementary school, but it's still pretty overwhelming. Copying people's templates and it gets up to like 5k lines of code so quickly... and how do I edit it so it looks good on phone...! 😞
(Rambling below the cut)
Despite that, I really like the amount of control it offers. I guess since I'm changing my minor to Computer Science soon I might actually end up needing to learn a language, so I guess it wouldn't hurt to actually do HTML in depth. But I also told a friend I'd learn Luau (Roblox's language) with them...
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ agh
Anyway my toyhouse is here. I don't have much, I think Clover is the only one with an actual page, but I'm working on the world they're from and will make it public view... eventually. Maybe in like a year or something,,, (there's a map and everything!!!)
I realized that my notes on my characters are really disorganized. I've always written my characters based on vibes, but now that I have 20+ MAIN characters to manage for a roleplay me and my friend are restarting, it's... a little more imperative that I follow the rules.
For example, Antoine (he/him) is extremely calm, bird-like, poetic... so there's a stream of consciousness broken by these
unconventional line breaks
mid-sentence, to convey
slowness, and importance.
And Aza (he/him) refrains from the use of contractions. He is overly verbose, and chooses to dictate each contraction as both or all of the parts of the whole. He does not use apostrophes, save for the occasional possessive "name's item."
And Chiru (thit/this) is steadfast about thits beliefs in things. Thit doesn't use "like" "kind" "kind of" "maybe" "sort of" "possibly"... etc. (And that etc is only because I don't remember what words I've excluded in the past!)
Idk. It's stuff I'll have to figure out how to organize, and I definitely want to publish everything from my Google docs, (because, well. AI has probably scraped it already. Thanks Google. So there is no harm in at least ensuring it traces back to me, somehow). So it'll be easier for me and friends to source things and lore workshop i suppose
🫠 gah. Word vomit. If anyone got this far, I'd love it if you could ask about one of the names in my "Mordre" folder... but first, remember to drink water! ✨️
Here is a preview of Blinkie.world, my blinkie collecton site! The goal here is to collect every blinkie on earth (but only if they're free to use, and can be credited). They're all sorted into these color pages, and also sorted into tons of sub categories on other pages (like food, animals, holidays, etc etc). This is what some of the color pages look like now! Once I have at least 300 blinkies in each color, then I'll consider the site full enough to go live! I'm aiming to get it online by Art Fight (aka by July this year).
Do note that this isn't actually an accurate representation of how many I have. I have thousands more than this! I just have to code them all in. It's not as quick as just an image tag and a link, because it also needs to be named, linked to it's source, tagged so I know what categories they're in, have a link to a screenshot that proves who the creator is and their terms (in case the credit link dies one day), have alt text, and have hover text which says the creator and a description of what the blinkie says! So, it's not like this:
<img src="">
It's actually like this:
<a href="" target="_BLANK">
<img src="" alt="" title="Credit: . ID: """></a>
<!--Categories: -->
<!--Screencap: -->
And that's for every blinkie! You can probably see how this is so time consuming, but I think it's worth it. I've never seen a blinkie collection with 6,000+ blinkies, much less every single one credited, and even less sorted into dozens of categories! It's like I have a blinkie for everything, while also knowing the creator of each, and being able to easily search for a specific one via the sorting system! It's especially good for helping others find blinkies, and helping people get the sources for blinkies they already have! It's also great for finding blinkies to use for your ocs (which is my initial reason for doing this).
I'm very excited about this. I really think this could be a very fun resource for people, and that aside, I just really like having so many in my possession. I love to see them. I even have blinkies that I've downloaded before they were deleted off the internet! That's very exciting to me. I have blinkies that are straight up lost media, and I'm happy to be able to preserve them.
Of course as I said, it's going to take forever to add them all, but I'm chipping away at it. I shall not be stopped! Also, if you want a blinkie in any of these screenshots above, just let me know! I'll get it and it's source for you, easy peasy! I'll post more screenshots as significant progress is made, but for now, it's back to downloading blinkies!
I want to start writing my own books, so I want to separate myself a little from the idea of keeping everything I make private. Wanted to start with Pandora, the god of wasps.
She's one of my prouder designs, but I never really about write her because I have lost a lot of interest in the world she's from (I just call it the god universe, but most notably it has a government that we call the cabinet, and she is a part of it).
Her lore has gone through a lot of iterations, I was pretty young when I first made her, but some consistent points of her character have always been:
- she was assigned to an all female family; her parents were lesbian and she had a twin sister, god of bees. Her parents were loving but had gotten out of an abusive high society, so were relatively poor and died during the purge
- she went through some kind of mental break, drastically affecting her relationship with the world and her sister (currently this is directly related to her parent's death, and in her desperation she became an overprotective knight to her sister)
- (once her sister died anyway,) she developed a sort of wrath that the cabinet found useful and became a part of the government. She terrorized the people on its behalf and became known as a dangerous god.
The lore is a bit choppy because of this, but I really wanted to cut out an anxious part of her character that had persisted in her beta designs where she was more humanoid. She was never supposed to be paranoid, but I liked to make reasons for everyone to be, so I had an abusive figure (named Sca, god of worms) enter her and her sister's life, but I decided that his character didn't make sense playing the role it did to begin with... so he's at the very least not involved with the girls.
Her real name is also not Pandora, it is Doliche. Originally, she was going to have no 'real' name, so everyone would call her whatever they wanted, and eventually, I decided that wouldn't really be possible. All gods are born with a sense of self and the language to convey that, and they develop on that sense over their lifespan.
Through her more humanoid design, I portrayed her rejection of 'Doliche' as a sort of deadname, as the word appeared as scars all along her body (from Sca, who believed she was self centered and arrogant, and sought to soil her association with the word and succeeded). But that was a lot clearly so I pivoted to a more reasonable subtle explanation; because all gods understand their creatures, and because I chose to make her a living hive of wasps, I figured they would constantly be calling for her, or talking about her. So to filter out the real peoples' voices from her wasps, she introduces herself by no name so that she knows who is referring to her.
I actually really like this concept, it is very charming. The government folk had a few recurring names for her, including:
Four (her position in the govt), Square (related to the position), Saffron, Furcifera, Vampire, and Pandora.
Some names have probably changed, at the very least I know she's no longer called Lipstick... since she doesn't really have a mouth now LMAO.
I call her Pandora since that was the first name we came up with for her, and originally it was her best friend who chose that name. But I think with her new lore, they wouldn't be as close, so I don't really know who would take precedence here. But I like Pandora as a name so I'm keeping it in my head.
Anyway. All this to say you probably won't hear about her / her role in the cabinet any more beyond this, so this doesn't super matter to anything, but I am converting all my gods from this world, to gods of my 'Pirate world,' Mordre. There, they will be little more than eldritch beasts in the sky or ground or around corners—things you can't really touch, but that change people's lives drastically. So.
I have a lot of projects that I want to do, so it may take me a bit to introduce everything I want to, so sorry if I'm super rambly for my first few posts...!
The parachute study is actually a wonderful piece of art because it demonstrates so succinctly the kind of situation where randomized controlled trials are not the gold standard of evidence, and in fact reach misleading conclusions.
Because you can't recruit people to willingly jump out of mid-flight passenger planes for science, you redesign the study to engineer a scenario where the risk to the control group is minimsed. The plane is landed.
And then, because you've removed the main reason to use a parachute, you find that parachutes have "no effect" on mortality or injury.
The constraints of performing an ethical RCT guarantee this result. A result that we obviously know is dangerously wrong to extrapolate to the real-life uses of parachutes.
Now here's the thing: The people insisting that "evidence-based medicine" says we need RCTs of trans healthcare know this is what they're doing. It's extremely well established that you can abuse these "standards" to engineer incorrect results.
SEGM and their ilk are doing this on purpose because they know it's an effective way to dress up science denial in a veneer of scientific rigor.
Girl who has increasingly obvious Symptoms over time: Actually I shouldn't put myself first because I'm the Healthy One and therefore responsible for everyone else all the time no matter what
This is what I meant by how a lot of white supremacy is projection.
"I feel like my penis/my Manhood as a symbol is smaller than Black man's" becomes "Black men have oversized penises and are sexually insatiable beasts."
"I am sexually attracted to, fetishizing, and feel entitled to Black women's bodies" becomes "well she's asking for it, look at how she looks, Black women are always more openly sexual."
"I am afraid of approaching Black men" becomes "Black men are a threat."
"I am afraid of approaching Black women" becomes "Black women are always angry."
"I am not smart enough/not qualifed enough/can't beat my white counterparts professionally" becomes "DEI and affirmative action are letting those Blacks steal my position in school/jobs!"
Your own fears and insecurities about yourself somehow become a reflection of my humanity, when it had nothing to do with anything. And somehow enough people think that and now it's systemic instead of the made up nonsense it always was. Ijeoma Oluo called it mediocrity, James Baldwin called racism the white man's problem, and they remain correct.
subtext this, subtext that. dommetext is the way forward. a hot character turns directly to the audience and explains in plain terms how they should interpret the things the text portrays.
Thank you for the compliment. Tbh, though, I'm really not. I just did some reading this year that helped.
For a small list of recommendations:
Trans Male Privilege (the title is a clickbait title, I don't want that to discourage anyone from reading it), and Transfag Comphet by The Trans Dandy.
The Third Sex, Degendering and Regendering, Degendering and Racialization and The Question Has an Answer by Talia Bhatt. (Whose entire Trans/Rad/Fem substack I read, in chronological order, back when I first decided to give transfeminism One Last Shot, and whose work is honestly not that scary. Not even a little scary, really. It helped me a lot.)
Detrans Women v. Trans Men, Or: The Sanity Of Sex Change by Dolphin Diaries (whose work is also not scary, and is pro-trans, pro-autonomy, and this essay displays how we've all been cast as crabs in a bucket, forced to pull each other back in in an abysmal attempt to get out of the bucket).
Again, these essays are essays I've found personally helpful in trying to detangle my own thoughts/feelings from the Tumblr Miasma of How The World Works. I guess I could say "Read Whipping Girl!" but I honestly haven't finished it, and it's a book from 2007 that - while important - was borne in a very specific context, and is not the trans bible (I don't think any essay or book should ever be taken as 'the trans bible,' no matter how useful or historically important they are). Julia Serano, however, is a real alive woman who still exists in 2026 and as such is still alive and has evolving opinions on account of being alive, and she has a substack of her own that I've yet to fully explore -- but you can, if you want to. I also know that transmasculine author Jude Doyle has a book called DILF ("Did I Leave Feminism?") out -- one I have not read but have heard good things about, so again -- I invite you to explore what he has to say.
I think, really, we have to explore what in the world people are talking about. It's only by learning that we can acquire the knowledge we need to actually have language to explain the world we live in. What helped me make posts like the blueberry vape one was reading transfeminist theory that exists outside of the confines of tumblr (also talking to my trans friends who have a lot more experience in participating in real life trans community/organizing).
