Movin’ Right Along

Hedonist + #1 Muppet Fan

[hummingbirdsaltimolockia]

do it scared do it stupid do it alone etc etc but don’t do it hungry. eat a snack first

[t4timekeeper]

ACCIDENTALLY LEFT MY MACERATED APPLE SYRUP ON THE STOVE AND IT CARAMELIZED I GUESS?

[t4timekeeper]

it was super thick and dark and golden and bubbly so i took it off the heat. happy accident.

[t4timekeeper]

tastes delicious so good. idk what to do with it though

[t4timekeeper]

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[tsunflowers]

I’m reading this book about the changing arctic and the author stayed with the Nunamiut people of inland alaska for a while and talked to this high school kid who was like “ugh I hate going to school in the spring I wish I was hunting caribou” and I thought that was charming. you often hear about people who are devoted to preserving their traditional culture and knowledge but it’s rare to hear about someone who’s invested in the old ways out of pure teenage selfishness. school is lame and hunting caribou is awesome

[parkchanwoohoo]

[qelflinq]

the riddler is a girl with a “dapper femme” Pinterest board . And that’s ok. She has the hat from dont even joke lads . And that’s ok. If you moved to Gotham city none of it phases you. Your little cousin from the Midwest is sending you videos of ppl in weird outfits crashing out on the subway. You don’t think it’s funny anymore, like everyone knows about the cat lady. She’s really chill and actually she told u she acts like a cat because her body is inhabited by the soul of a cat, in addition to her regular human soul. And really that’s ok even if u don’t understand it’s fine. She shares her weed at parties and wears cool clothes. A lot of stigma came from those gotham woman memes and now a beautiful broad with the face and skin and eyes and powers of a crocodile can’t even swim at the pond without people taking their phones out to sneak a pic. The life of a weird lady is unnecessarily stressful and difficult. So if you know or love 1 & she is wearing an eccentric hat, or wants to suspend her enemy over a tank of vicious piranhas , u gotta gas her up. Or take her to the piranha store idk

[junglejim4322]

George bush truisms

I THINK WE CAN AGREE THAT THE PAST IS OVER

RARELY IS THE QUESTION ASKED, IS OUR CHILDREN LEARNING?

OUR ENEMIES NEVER STOP THINKING OF NEW WAYS TO HARM OUR COUNTRY AND OUR PEOPLE, AND NEITHER DO WE

YOU TEACH A CHILD TO LEARN, AND HE OR HER WILL BE ABLE TO PASS A LITERACY TEST

A HUMAN BEING AND A FISH CAN COEXIST PEACEFULLY

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON…SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME… YOU CANT GET FOOLED AGAIN.

DON’T MISUNDERESTIMATE ME

[striders]

making wetfood slop for the beasts and all three of them are weaving around my feet and desperately begging like “MOMMMM PLEASE GIVE US THAT WE LOVE THAT WE WANT IT PLEAAAAAAAAASE CAN WE HAVE IT” like. yeah guys i wasn’t planning on keeping it for myself i don’t think any of you have ever seen me decide to drink salmon pate soup out of your three individual cat bowls. but i guess you never know

[wizardarchetypes]

it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.

[machinot]

Share link 10 years ago

https://Poopvideos.com/video-id/817655H

Share link now

https://poopvi.ds/video-id/817655H&user_8-65155JN&shared.at/7:39PM/palantir_tracking_id=92827652.876.99&socialsecuritynumber=827.92.7251&bloodtype:bnegative&penis_size:about_6_inches_hard_iqn76

[pocketdogs]

bed bug

[pocketdogs]

[thefairytaler]

My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.

If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.

[alexaloraetheris]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[alexaloraetheris]

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

[alexaloraetheris]

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

[alexaloraetheris]

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

[littlegreen]

challengers // my way - olivia rodrigo

[spiribia]

do you want a warm, weighted, vibrating plushie that acts like a heat seeking missile and intermittently stabs you? What I have just described to you is Felis catus and there is a dark secret to it

[worsecats]

Come closer... learn my secret...

[gemfeathers]

[milquetoaast]

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