Movin’ Right Along

Hedonist + #1 Muppet Fan

[hummingbirdsaltimolockia]

do it scared do it stupid do it alone etc etc but don’t do it hungry. eat a snack first

[qelflinq]

the riddler is a girl with a “dapper femme” Pinterest board . And that’s ok. She has the hat from dont even joke lads . And that’s ok. If you moved to Gotham city none of it phases you. Your little cousin from the Midwest is sending you videos of ppl in weird outfits crashing out on the subway. You don’t think it’s funny anymore, like everyone knows about the cat lady. She’s really chill and actually she told u she acts like a cat because her body is inhabited by the soul of a cat, in addition to her regular human soul. And really that’s ok even if u don’t understand it’s fine. She shares her weed at parties and wears cool clothes. A lot of stigma came from those gotham woman memes and now a beautiful broad with the face and skin and eyes and powers of a crocodile can’t even swim at the pond without people taking their phones out to sneak a pic. The life of a weird lady is unnecessarily stressful and difficult. So if you know or love 1 & she is wearing an eccentric hat, or wants to suspend her enemy over a tank of vicious piranhas , u gotta gas her up. Or take her to the piranha store idk

[junglejim4322]

George bush truisms

I THINK WE CAN AGREE THAT THE PAST IS OVER

RARELY IS THE QUESTION ASKED, IS OUR CHILDREN LEARNING?

OUR ENEMIES NEVER STOP THINKING OF NEW WAYS TO HARM OUR COUNTRY AND OUR PEOPLE, AND NEITHER DO WE

YOU TEACH A CHILD TO LEARN, AND HE OR HER WILL BE ABLE TO PASS A LITERACY TEST

A HUMAN BEING AND A FISH CAN COEXIST PEACEFULLY

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON…SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME… YOU CANT GET FOOLED AGAIN.

DON’T MISUNDERESTIMATE ME

[striders]

making wetfood slop for the beasts and all three of them are weaving around my feet and desperately begging like “MOMMMM PLEASE GIVE US THAT WE LOVE THAT WE WANT IT PLEAAAAAAAAASE CAN WE HAVE IT” like. yeah guys i wasn’t planning on keeping it for myself i don’t think any of you have ever seen me decide to drink salmon pate soup out of your three individual cat bowls. but i guess you never know

[wizardarchetypes]

it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.

[machinot]

Share link 10 years ago

https://Poopvideos.com/video-id/817655H

Share link now

https://poopvi.ds/video-id/817655H&user_8-65155JN&shared.at/7:39PM/palantir_tracking_id=92827652.876.99&socialsecuritynumber=827.92.7251&bloodtype:bnegative&penis_size:about_6_inches_hard_iqn76

[pocketdogs]

bed bug

[pocketdogs]

[thefairytaler]

My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.

If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.

[alexaloraetheris]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[alexaloraetheris]

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

[alexaloraetheris]

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

[alexaloraetheris]

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

[littlegreen]

challengers // my way - olivia rodrigo

[spiribia]

do you want a warm, weighted, vibrating plushie that acts like a heat seeking missile and intermittently stabs you? What I have just described to you is Felis catus and there is a dark secret to it

[worsecats]

Come closer... learn my secret...

[gemfeathers]

[milquetoaast]

source

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[doodle-list]

Something something qifrey stands like a mum

[beemovieerotica]

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

[antihumanism]

hate, hate, hate the “mirror test” so much, all it is is some guy in a lab coat pokes you in the forehead and then they lead you into a room where there’s this window and some bitch on the other side of the mirror has a smudge on her face and when you point and laugh at her she points and laughs at you, but she’s the idiot with a smudge so why’s she laughing but if you yell at her she just yells back and everything keeps escalating until they drag you back out of the room, and then they ask you all these stupid questions like “did you notice anything about the person you saw” or whatever, like, yeah, i fucking hate, hate, hate her so, so, so much, i noticed that, why do they keep doing this, and then they scribble a bunch more shit in that file, it is literally the most pointless part of the week, and the worst part is they always force this conflict too, like, obvious lesson learned here, don’t interact, don’t speak, keep your head down, but if you just avoid looking through the window the test never ends and they keep waiting and watching and wanting to judge the results even though it is so, so, so tiresome and irritating every time, i don’t like her, i hate her, i don’t want to see her ever again