3 little fish

3 Little Fish: a small corner of the web for a new family finding its way. There are no sure-fire rules to being a good parent, so we decided to write ours down... as we make them up. Han, Mart & Cami makes 3: 3 Little Fish.

[3-little-fish]

5 things I miss about having a newborn

People seem to be so quick to age my baby-"it won't be long till she's in school" or " soon you'll be going back to work". Of course I'm enjoying every minute with mini fish so far but I'm already reminiscing about her as a newborn and all the things I'll miss as she's grown out of this stage.

The smell

It's a divinely scent that I can't really describe, one that certainly doesn't last long but my god if you could bottle it you'd earn a fortune! This smell doesn't just effect women, seems men can't get enough either! 

Foetal position cuddles

Like a little koala bear snuggled up all cozily, it's a wonder how there are not cases of squeezed babies attending A&E.

The guinea pig noises

These are just super cute, little yawns and sighs that are simply gorgeous, I wasted hours just watching and listening.

The dinky outfits

When looking back I can't believe my baby was small enough to fit into the tiny baby-grows, they looked like dolls clothes on the washing line, how do they grow so fast. (If you're a good sewer or know someone who is make a teddy out of your favourite baby outfit to keep as a memory bear, my friend is doing one for me!).

Tiny hands and feet

I couldn't get enough of the sweet little paws, I turned into a crazy kissing machine, I still reckon people wolf pay to kiss babies feet as there's just something about them! 

I'm sure every stage is amazing and watching your baby grow is magical, but the newborn stage for me was so great and over way too soon! Oh well will have to have another one...

[3-little-fish]

Travelling to the Scilly Isles

The Isles of Scilly are the most idyllic and difficult places to reach in the UK.  Those facts may be related...  Located south-west of the cost of Cornwall, there are only a handful of ways there: by air from Land's End, Exeter or Newquay airports or the ferry from Penzance.

The Isles are made up of five main islands: St. Mary's, St. Martin's, St. Agnes, Tresco and Bryher.  With a network of boats providing the connectivity between them.

Scillonian III

Our journey to port was a pleasant one.  Driving west up the A30, we were early enough to be watching a sunrise in the rearview mirror and a moonset before us.  All that remained was 2 hours 45 minutes out of Penzance harbour to St. Mary's.  On a bright and pleasant day you can see for miles.  On the day we travelled, there were even RSPB representatives onboard providing guidance on any seabirds you could spot.  There was also rumour of dolphins and a humpback whale in the area, though I didn't spot any.

They have comfortable and extensive facilities on board.  A couple of cafes that serve proper coffee, cakes and (of course) pasties.

As a slight obsessive compulsive, I enjoyed this journey as I very much enjoy the ritual of travel.  The ceremony of transporting people by sea to the islands is perhaps what protects them so well.

Ferry travel, though, isn't for everyone.  You are either good on the water - or you ain't.  A nice Japanese lady decided to fill a sick bag right next to me (thankfully I'm fairly immune to this) but when a 4 year old threw up about 12 feet away from Han, the rest of the journey was really about keeping her breakfast where it was.

Island Hopping

The key for trips from island to island is keeping track of the boards.  Each will detail the trips of the day.  You can also follow the Facebook page to keep in the loop.  It takes no time at all as long as you know the right time to be there and ready.

Skybus

Thanks to the fun caused by Storm Katie, Scillonian was cancelled for our scheduled return journey due to poor conditions.  Thankfully, through careful monitoring of the Twitter feed, we realised very quickly and made alternative arrangements.  By lunchtime we were at St. Mary's airport.

The facilities at the airport are surprisingly good with a nice new departures lounge, a café serving a good selections of refreshments and all the charm that goes with a smaller airport.  

Due to the narrow travel window, and no ferry, the airport was perhaps busier than normal but got the business of shifting people to the mainland with the utmost efficiency.  We were put on an additional flight on a very small plane for the 15 minute ‘hop’ over.

I myself, and this is my personal feeling, was batshit terrified for the entire journey.  Obviously the weather was closing in on us, but the little plane bucked and shook like an untamed mustang that did not want us on its back.  I tried to console myself with just how inconsequential the pilot took the conditions to be, but still gripped the seatbelt with whiter-than-white knuckles the entire way.

In terms of the overall experience of travel, Han and I are very much split on the subject.  I myself would gladly take the 3 hour trip by sea, she much preferred the quick convenience of air.

MiniFish?  Well she slept through both - so I dare say doesn't care either way.

For the logistical challenge of travel to the Scilly Isles, the most important thing is to make every effort to stay in the loop.  When booking with Isles of Scilly travel, make sure they have a reachable mobile number on record.  If plans change they need to be able to reach you!  Set your Twitter app to auto-notify on @IOSTravel so you get the latest news on what can be an unpredictable journey.

[3-little-fish]

Easter weekend fun on the Scilly Isles

[3-little-fish]

Being Daddy

I’m coming to the slow realisation that this is probably the most adored I am going to be in my entire life.  Right now, I am Daddy.  Let me tell you a little bit about Daddy:

His singing voice is finally getting the attention it serves.  He sings aloud and often now, to an adoring crowd of one.

He’s funny.  His jokes are absolutely hilarious - to a single person audience.  That audience can’t necessarily understand the words that Daddy is saying - but by gosh the punch lines are classic.

His dancing is great fun.  People (well, someone) enjoy dancing with him as often as possible with, or without, music.

He’s important.  When he gets home from work it’s a big deal.  A big deal, ok?

As wonderful as this is, it will of course be followed by becoming Dad.  Or, to use the proper title “Da-ad”.  Dad is embarrassing.  Dad isn’t funny at all.  Dad… dancing?  There’s a reason that’s a thing.  Dad is there to pick up the tab and drive the car.  He most certainly shouldn't ever sing.  And of course, should we have another little baby, the first one will teach the second all too early that Daddy is in fact… Dad so this is my only moment to shine.

[3-little-fish]

Swim Fishy Swim

I was never keen on taking my baby to swimming lessons and I regret to say that my doubts were confirmed.

I use the term lessons loosely, as really it was swishing and splashing the babies around as all the mums walked in a circle! Maybe I took her too early, 4 and a half months, who knows but I was pressured into taking Cami by all the other mums I kept meeting who said things like "you haven't been yet? oh you must" or "they really do love it".

So £65 lighter for 5 sessions of 30mins and what have I learnt:

That pools for children have locker rooms so hot you sweat about a litre before you've even seen the pool (which I guess aids my weight loss goals!). 

Dunking the baby under water was not the serene experience I imagined it to be.  Cami in fact came up spluttering and was then hysterical for the rest of the lesson (not at all like the baby from Tomorrow's World opening credits). 

You can't tell babies gender when they wear just the swim nappy. I did call quite a few girls boys as I’m terrible at remembering all the names.

And finally I learnt that I would have done all the things we did in the "lessons" on my own (bar the dunking). So for me swim lessons weren't a hit and I'd advise save your money for a holiday instead where you can splash about with your little one all day long!

[3-little-fish]

Vespers by A.A. Milne

This is a poem written by A.A. Milne (of course - of Winnie the Pooh fame) which was also a song, performed here by the music halls, and later film, star Gracie Fields.  My Grand Father,  a bass-baritone opera singer, used to sing it to my Father as a lullaby; and my Father sang it to me too.  In keeping with that tradition, which always leaves a little lump in my throat, I now sing it to my daughter.  For me, of course, it is little girl kneels...

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed, Droops on the little hands little gold head. Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares! Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

God bless Mummy. I know that's right. Wasn't it fun in the bath to-night? The cold's so cold, and the hot's so hot. Oh! God bless Daddy - I quite forgot.

If I open my fingers a little bit more, I can see Nanny's dressing-gown on the door. It's a beautiful blue, but it hasn't a hood. Oh! God bless Nanny and make her good.

Mine has a hood, and I lie in bed, And pull the hood right over my head, And I shut my eyes, and I curl up small, And nobody knows that I'm there at all.

Oh! Thank you, God, for a lovely day. And what was the other I had to say? I said "Bless Daddy," so what can it be? Oh! Now I remember it. God bless Me.

Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed, Droops on the little hands little gold head. Hush! Hush! Whisper who dares! Christopher Robin is saying his prayers.

Vespers - A.A. Milne - 1923

[3-little-fish]

4288 Miles

For Christmas we decided instead of presents this year we'd treat each other to a holiday away to escape the British winter abs celebrate New Years Eve. Rather bravely (or crazily!?) we chose the Dominican Republic, with a flight time of 10hrs from London.

Once booked I constantly found myself fretting about the flight and how Cami would cope. I've always been that person who lets out a massive sigh when you see a family with a young child boarding the plane, and silently pray they're not seated next to or even close to me-oh how times change!

Now luckily we had had a trial run with flying with a baby, as we went on a short flight to France in November-this was a fairly pleasant experience with Cami behaving and minimal hiccups but would long haul be the same...

I'm so pleased to say that yes it was and in fact exceeded all my expectations! Now let me be clear I do not know it all when it comes to parenting, far from it, and I think Mr Fish would agree that we tend to wing it most of the time, with varying results but here's my guide to first time flying with a baby (Cami was 5months)

1.Make alias with the flight attendants!

They were so helpful to us and I can't thank them enough. They offered to hold Cami, checked on us throughout the flight, and gave us extra wine with our meals (bonus!)

2.Pack light

We took just one small bag as hand luggage and my handbag. Unlike the American couple next to us who brought 5 large bags which took up two overhead lockers!!! They couldn't find anything they needed in a hurry and became quite flustered during the flight. (Our bag contained a mini change bag/toys/a banana &aplastic fork/blanket/calpol/milk/sippy cup/teething ring/change of clothes/iPad)

3.Entertain like a pro.

I took several toys with me, a favourite and some new. But Cami was mainly entertained with all the things around her that could be made into toys (the inflight magazine, the plastic cups, the mini tele screen etc)

4. Technology plan B

Have a back up favourite TV programme on your iPad or phone for when things get desperate. We opted for downloading Hey Duggee from bbc iplayer.

5.Check-in as soon as you can

This ensures you get family seats where possible, with extra leg room and baby cot. This was a dream as allowed us to put Cami to sleep properly in her own space.

6. Lounge it

And finally if you can afford to, I would highly recommend using the executive lounge at the airport-It was only £30 for the two of us at gatwick.  This was the first time I'd ever been in one and I was so happy we booked it, it just put us in a really relaxed holiday mood before the flight. They had all you can eat snacks, drinks including wine/beer/spirits, newspapers & magazines, private feeding areas for you and baby, areas to charge your phone and staff on hand to help you-what more could you want!

Happy flying!! X

[3-little-fish]

Loving #ikea mini pan for heating baby portions, the perfect size! 

[3-little-fish]

Cold Survival Kit

Germs.  Kids get germs.

You wake up in the morning and when the first sound that comes from baby's room is a snuffle you know it's going to be a long day!

A lot of mums I've met are germ-a-phobes and steer clear of you at even a hint of a sniffle, I think they'd spray you down with detol given the chance. I'm a firm believer in a few germs will do you good, this could stem from working in healthcare, or perhaps it's from growing up with parents who never let my brothers or I have a sick day! 

But if you do wake up to a baby full of cold fear not, you've got or should have the most important substance known to mankind, it could probably create world peace if poured liberally. I'm talking of course of calpol! We all remember the taste of this miracle liquid and when you open the bottle and get a whiff of strawberries you're taken right back to reminiscing of your childhood days. Also if baby is struggling to feed we found the syringe that comes with the calpol is great for feeding expressed breast milk or formula in small doses. It took quite a while feeding in this way, but they do say starve a fever feed a cold!

In addition to calpol arm yourself with a vapour plug in. Now I was sceptical about these, as I am with most things I've not used before and that you have to buy refills for, however they really do work! Not only does the calpol vapour plug in smell divinely spa like, Cami woke up being able to breathe through her nose. Sadly the effect wears off pretty quick once up and about, but for night time they're perfect. And anything that aids sleep is a winner for me.

My mother in law recommended the other products that we now swear by, and if I'm honest I thought "i bet they don't even make it anymore, times have changed since your day" how wrong I was-SnuffleBabe are still going strong! The vapour oil (which is just essential oils) and nasal drops really help Cami to breathe easily when fighting a cold. I found the idea of using nasal drops daunting at first, God knows I hate things like that myself, and thought it would be a real battle but Cami amazingly didn't seem bothered. 

It goes without saying that keeping baby's favourite cuddly toy close by is always helpful and acts as a soother when they're feeling rubbish.

I'm sure there are many other products I've yet to discover, but for now these are always stocked up in the fish household ready to fight a good fight in the battle of the colds!

[3-little-fish]

Breastfeeding For Men

Oh?  You thought that not having boobs advocated you from the breastfeeding process?  Think again.  This is a team effort and there is no ‘I’ in ‘breastfeeding’.  Well, you know what I mean.  These are our tips for a guy to play his part in the breastfeeding challenge.

Try to stay awake with her during feeding at night for the first 2 weeks (if she's suffering, I’m afraid we have to too.  Plus support is really important).  Be a gentleman, at least whilst you’re still on paternity leave.

Prep yourself with multiple pillows to give her and help her get comfortable.  It's hard with a wriggling, crying baby to do this on your own and no one likes swearwords at 2am.

Don't comment on the one big boob and the one little boob - she’s well aware.  When she’s getting dressed for a night out - you can barely tell!

Feed her!  Get her little snacks and drinks while she's trapped in breastfeeding prison which has the equivalent calorie hit to a lot of miles on the treadmill - and you know how cranky we all get when the blood sugar dips...

She will resent you for not having breasts.  This is a tough break as we can’t really do anything about this (moobs do not help).  Just take this on the chin like a man.

Make helpful, supportive remarks.  Comment on how unbelievable it is what she’s doing for your baby. Do not offer critique.  This is not something you can offer guidance on.  See previous point.

If expressing is an option, you have an opportunity to take over the feed and earn yourself some much needed brownie points.  Take the opportunity if you know what’s good for you.

Burp the baby after feeding.  Some gentle(ish) back patting to release all those bubbles can be the difference between a peaceful couple of hours and an angry windbag screaming the house down.  This is your job now.  You are the fly-half to a scrum-half with mammaries who fell asleep immediately after the pass.  Try and take pleasure in your part in the manufacture of some pretty incredible belches from such a small person.

[3-little-fish]

Recipe: Easy Overnight Oats

I discovered these from browsing Pinterest when pregnant and always had them ready in the fridge as I would eat them any time during the day.  You can switch the toppings to pretty much anything you fancy but the base ingredients always stay the same.  Super easy!  It’s healthy and really filling, but more importantly minimal effort which is perfect when looking after a baby.

1/2 cup of oats

2 dessert spoons of Greek yoghurt

Mix together and put in the fridge overnight

Add a splash of almond milk to loosen in the morning if you like but not essential.

Top with fruit and seeds.

My favourite is pomegranate, shredded coconut and blueberries.  When pregnant I added strawberries and chia seeds which was heaven!  There are endless toppings check more out on Pinterest or create your own!

[3-little-fish]

3 Little Fish Hot Holiday Essentials

Just back from a New Years break in the Dominican Republic.  We had a fairly extensive collection of stuff packed, because this was our first real test abroad, but these are what we found to be the most vital for a well-prepared and relaxing time by the pool.

Lollypop large muslin sheet: these are great and so versatile, dribble cloth,blanket,sunshade,breast feeding cover,swaddling. They're also super soft and wash great, I use them all year round actually! 

A good sunhat: this one from Jojo Maman Bébé was great as it ties under the chin plus it came with matching swim pants which were so cute.

A dummy clip: now normally I hate these and feel they look a bit trashy however for travelling they are a must, particularly useful on the plane. Ours was by Mam and available in Mothercare.

Bepamthan baby sun cream factor 50: this was just like the nappy rash cream: not sticky, easily rubbed in, felt a little luxurious and (most importantly) zero sunburn! 

Bodhi dry towel: compact and lightweight, fits in the bottom of the swim bag easily-much better than a regular towel, also really absorbent and quick drying

Toy: a small you in the beach bag for distraction in a key item. This toy I picked up from the charity shop and is unbranded but the best thing about it is the clicking sound it makes when moved!  Great for getting her attention.

Pool side change mat: this one is from Jojo Maman Bébé again and was amazing! Made of wet suit material with a non slip back, it caught all the little accidents when nappy free, washed well and dried quickly ready for next use.

[3-little-fish]

Mrs. Fish

First Four Weeks...

Ok so not as easy as i thought! I was blissfully unaware of how difficult newborns were (a lot like I am with most things if I'm honest-I tend to drift along like a dandelion seed floating in the wind according to my hubby!) I thought newborns just slept peacefully while friends and family coo over them and you enjoy people making you cups of tea and prepare you meals in Tupperware dishes for the freezer-so it's safe to say a lot of my baby knowledge is based on what happens in films! 

Reality for us was leaking nipples, screaming at random times day and night, takeaways, baby not liking anything that was baby related (Moses basket/clothes/bouncy chair) and the 3 of us sharing a bed!

The hardest thing for me was breastfeeding, now this is a skill to be mastered. I think perseverance was the key, although there were a few nights at the beginning of sitting in bed at 2am crying and shouting at hubby "I just can't do this" but we resisted the urge to run out and buy formula-and I'm so glad we did! The thing is there is no right or wrong with this and even though the midwife advised, and I read books/internet articles we were ALONE! I had no clue I just thought baby would know (that's what they said in classes!?) well after many positions, trying a breast pump with little success, changing pillow selections and angles Cami sort of got it-but only 3weeks in! But once mastered this allowed us to go out and about which we did at every opportunity and I think this really helped us stay chilled out, plus the praise you receive from people is a massive bonus!! 

If we do have a second baby I will definitely be relying on hubby to remind me to get organised before the birth (sleep bra, nipple pads etc)! I could continue waffling about lots of things but I'll stop for now and leave you with this...

My top tips for survival

Don't spend too much money, baby loves pretty much anything and may reject the expensive things anyway (hand me downs and second hand things are perfect, as is fashioning a device yourselves)

It's fine to call the professionals for help (we did call the midwife-excuse the pun!).

All first time parents are in the same boat so make friends wherever you can (I met a lovely couple waiting in the doctors surgery).

RELAX! The more chilled out you are the more relaxed baby will be. Try not to get caught up on routines and timings all that will come in due time right now just enjoy how cute baby is because they don't stay tiny for long.

[3-little-fish]

Mr. Fish

Pretty picture, eh?  Well the punchline to this one is that, when I turned around, I had milk-vomit down the back of my Aquascutum waistcoat.  Moral of the story: be prepared for anything.  Well - maybe not anything, but certainly vomit.

My name is Mart, or tin_fish to a lot of people.  I have been blogging since 2001 and parenting since July last year.  I think I blog a lot better than I parent!  In terms of the 3 little fish family unit, I think the important role that I play is one of logistics.  I don’t have mammary glands; I have to be away from home during the day; I get the significantly smaller slice of this responsibility cake, but I like to think I do a lot to keep this particular show on the road as well as doing my fair bit when I get home from work.  Understanding the Child Benefit system, Junior ISAs, European Health Insurance, car seats, baby monitors - these are my domain.  I try and hold a net of structure over the ‘merry chaos’ that my Wife enjoys.  If you see lists, checklists and little ideas on how to organise things on this blog, they are probably from me.  If you see matching baby outfits and recipes, they are almost definitely not me...

Old lanyard becomes cotton bud tidy for baby change bag. I'm a genius.

A photo posted by tin fish (@tin_fish) on Dec 17, 2015 at 3:07am PST

This blog is for us but, should you have found us and be reading this, my advice to you is to take what you like and ditch what you don’t - and that goes for all the parenting advice you’ll get.  Listen, sure, but understand that most people will only know about their own experiences which probably won’t translate precisely.  A lot of them will also try and show off.  If people don’t manage to maintain a good life themselves, and make everything about kids, they tend to need to boast about that to validate.  When you’re looking for guidance that really muddies the water.

So that’s me.  If you do end up finding this little blog - I hope you get some value from it.  TTFN.