home of the eggperor

Ford, 21, he/they, asexual? probably?? who even knows at this point. posts exclusively nonsense and lives in fear. minors probably shouldn't interact now that i think about it

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[the-muppet-joker]

Looksmaxxing until I turn into Him

[edettethegreat]

Jon's progression of Marks is so deeply devastating, because the further along he goes, the more Marks he gets from trying to save people.

His first 4 Marks (Web, Eye, Corruption, and Spiral) were things that were done to him. He didn't seek them out. Mr Spider was in the pile of books his grandma gave him. he had no way of knowing The Magnus Institute was haunted. Jane Prentiss hunted him down, and so did Michael.

the next 2 were brought about by his own curiosity. he knew the risks of accosting Jude and Mike, but he went willingly. his desire to seek out knowledge got him Marked by the Desolation and the Vast.

Elias sent Daisy to Hunt Jon, so that would make it the 5th Mark that Jon had no agency in, and the 7th Mark total.

then comes the Unknowing. in an attempt to save the world, Jon's willing to give his life to destroy the ritual. Marks 8 and 9 (Stranger and End) are purely altruistic on his part.

and from there on out, he continues to only get Marked via Protecting People.

Slaughter's from saving Melanie. Flesh and Buried are from saving Daisy. Dark is from trying to stop yet another ritual, something that he still believes could potentially end the world. Lonely is from saving Martin.

[this brings the final count to an exactly even split; 7 from external forces, 7 from Jon's attempts at protecting people]

as Jon becomes less and less human, he tries to save more and more people. and he's willing to give his life to do so!! he's willing to die!

and he succeeds. he successfully managed to save all his friends. it only cost him the world.

[sexhaver]

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

[segamascott]

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[stoner--poetry]

What if we gave

the smartest monkeys

infinite weapons?

[cognitohazardous]

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

[maniatown]

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

[wizardarchetypes]

he’s made more than one of these and they’re making me insane because for two days i haven’t been able to stop saying ‘i knew it! he’s a vampire! i knew it! i knew it! he’s a vampire! i knew it! he’s’ (x)

[here-by-chance]

im obsessed

[the-real-seebs]

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

the cruel doctor pepper experimented on me and now im the first human soda hybrid

[unowneyenon]

I come home from backrooms. I open the backrooms tag. It is 20 pictures of the same white guy who was onscreen for ten minutes or less. I cannot find any of the main characters. I close the backrooms tag.

[toskarin]

imagine seinfeld but if jerry had.... an inquisitive mind..

[toskarin]

I just meant if jerry wanted more information but I can see how you might have understood this as me proposing a bicurious seinfeld

[porcelain-siscon]

Not that there's anything wrong with that

[toskarin]

not that there's anything wrong with that

[airplaner]

[homunculus-argument]

"Bitches with no car be everywh

my fatass thumbs pressed something wrong on my phone to summon that gif and actually nvm that's much funnier than what I was going to say.

[feldfrog]

Clown cars are really tiny, but clown shoes are really big. What's that gas pedal look like