I'm a typing this in one of my most as I see it. In my opinion it is one of the darkest, most devastating time of my life. Not all is wrong but so much has happen and up until recently. I feel as if I'm starting to go down this. Deep dark pit again almost as if it were like. Clock work but it's more devastating then the other years of my life. With the recent loss of one of my most important companies in my life. The one thing that has been with me ever since this cycal started my Is precious wonderfull dog. That felt like a daughter too me has sadly passed.
Too most of you, you must be thinking. Why should such a thing like this bother you. I lost a pet before and I'm fine. But too me this is a lose that I haven't felt in my entire life. The wound if fresh and this grieving process I'm going though is liek salt getting poured on it. As much as I want alchol to be poured on the wound in order for it to be cleaned. I just keep getting hurt and I feels like there's nothing I can do. I only wish for some sort of escape form this reality.
Many of you or one of you depending on who reads this if any one dose might be wondering. What is this cycal that I'm talking about and this cycal I have been dealing with, for the past 10 years of my life is. Seasonal depression. I know I should me making it seem like I'm surfing the most with it when I know more people out there are most definitely suffering more. It's the fact that I have this bigger void in my now, and yes I know what you the reader might be things I have family and a wonderful boyfriend by my side why am I so up set about.
The matter of the fact is that I'm afraid that this sudden switch will just push then away. I feel like I have no control over my emotions or mind during this time. I just wish to be faded away form realty until I'm able to feel normal again. But that's the thing what if this is my normal self and the face happy joyful personality I put on during the spring and summer isn't me. All I wish and ask for is that I find some one too cope with this feeling. But I'm afraid I don't know how too and I'm juts going to have to accept that fact I'll always be this way and it's best for me to be alone.
-lugwig van beethoven, moonlight sonata 1st movement
prguitarman
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
origamiaround
titsay
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
