Ask me about wood storks

[foulserpent]

yet another nasty night out with the boys

[pepegle]

[pissvortex]

Excuse me heroin addicted teenage Walmart employee can you unlock the cabinet full of things to put up my ass please

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

welcome to the icelandic apple selection. what color will you have

[wordfather]

okay so APPEARANTLY this is just an iceland thing? i looked it up and we dont grow apples here commercially. we get them imported and there's such few options that the stores rarely bother to name them. thats why, culturally, we just call them by colors.

i feel like we all learned something today. i learned that im hungry for apples with names and you learned that iceland is 3 apples tall. the world continues to surprise and enlighten

[vacuously-true]

UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA: HOME OF THE HONEYCRISPPPPP. EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA FOR ALL OF THE HONEYCRISPPPPP. OKAY NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY,

The reason apples are so complicated is because apple genetics are really unpredictable so if you grow an apple tree from seed, there's a really good chance you're gonna end up with something nasty. So, to make sure you get something that doesn't taste like garbage, apple trees are mostly propagated by graft. You like what a tree is making? You take a graft of that tree. The wide variety of apple characteristics and the fact that most apples are grown as clones means apple varieties lend themselves to creative & specialized cultivation and patenting of results. So there are many varieties and they have fun names.

I'm curious what your three Icelandic apple varieties are. If they're imported I suspect they're found globally in large numbers, so they probably have specific names. Probably not honeycrisp tho, because those are not great for transport. Sorry about that.

[420bot]

btw training at work has been going p well so far. nerve wracking tho lol... i learned how to do all the deposits today and tomorrow im learning how to do payroll 👍

[420bot]

finally showed W the movie Swallow and he loved it! he gave a very thoughtful analysis as always <3 he did get side tracked once or twice to share personal anecdotes but that is to be expected

[maidthings]

shrikes are so funny

[maidthings]

who gave this songbird a hooked beak. you look like a kitten with a knife. its absurd

[sassayfrass]

NOT EVERYONE HAS TOMODACHI LIFE

[avagarde]

It’s so unfair i don’t get to see where evolution will go in 50 million years

[geekysteven]

crab

[existennialmemes]

Crustaceans: Crab

Mammals: Weasel

Plants: Tree

Amphibians & Reptiles: Unchanged because they are perfect

Birds: 360° around back to dinosaurs

Fungi: I shan't speculate on the affairs of gods

[420bot]

theres this creepy ass volunteer thats new to the saturday team (not my team) and he is a retired police officer and started immediately being weird as hell. so all of this was relayed to me, i haven't met him. day 1 he rolls up and is rude to the leader telling her that her directions are terrible (its literally so easy to get to the meeting place) and that she is just like his wife bc she cant give directions. and as i understand it everyone was like Wtf... bc the vibes w everyone are so nice so it was rly off putting. all the men i volunteer w and have met are actually very normal and some are downright WONDERFUL. so this guy is the polar opposite right off the bat.

well then he is introducing himself and when it gets to the other man on the team for that day (i will refer to him as john but idk his actual name) john sticks his hand out for a polite handshake and the new guy grabs his hand, yanks john towards him so hes right in his face. and says "am i making you uncomfortable right now?" dawg whaaaat???? and idk if thats even just a regular cop thing, i think he is fucking insane on top of it.

and THEN he was volunteering w the leader who btw taught me at my elementary school and remembered me 20 years later when i started volunteering. so like i cant say i look up to her necessarily but i feel protective of her. so new guy and rhe leader are on the golf cart together and she's driving them to a spot which is very routine. sometimes one of the men will drive or another woman, whatever. personally i have never felt uncomfortable riding w any of the men and its quite a tight squeeze on this little golf cart. the teams are mostly women and the dudes are very polite and respectful. and it was the same for the leader, she never felt uncomfortable with anyone until she rode w the new guy. she said she just felt soooo uncomfortable the entire ride snd couldnt place why and wondered if maybe she was being paranoid. well then they get to their destination and HE ASKS HER FOR A FUCKING HUG. so basically he should die

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[dinolich]

He has many skills

[frenzyarts]

Actually making a misogynistic joke isn’t “self deprecating humor” because misogyny effects all of us. “Girl math” “I’m literally just a girl” “I can’t drive because I’m a woman” “I can’t do that because I’m so girlypop” “we can’t have a female president because what if she gets her period” (yes I’ve heard women make that joke 😭) like if it’s “self” deprecating than why am I being included

—— TERFs do NOT interact——

[krasnoarmeyets]

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

[blistexenthusiast]

Tamagotchi beadwork, Anna Pederson

[pointnclick]

I don't have sensory issues I just like to wear sunglasses and headphones everywhere all the time and if someone is talking too loud beside me in public I just start attacking them and hurting them and I can't stop. I can't stop

[syrenki]

i have a bunch of disgusting ideas if anyone's interested