A place to talk about this band that I care about. Safe space. My feet and spine are on the plus sign.

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Every time I see a yellow flower by a roadside or coming up through a crack in the concrete, I get such a thrill of hope. That flash of color has become a reminder to me that I'm not alone, that there are people looking out for me, that I'm real. Whenever a yellow flower shows up, I take it as a reminder to make sure I'm trying to think and not just sleep through my days. In a way, I live in this album. I don't listen to it every day or even every week, but it's more of a way of looking at things that's there when I need it.

[4me2walkawaywith]

So, we all know about the eye closing at the beginning of the hiatus, and then opening up again with the trench era. It's easy to see the significance of the eye being red when it closed and yellow upon opening. But I think there's some really cool significance to the images that both of the eyes have inside of them. The blurryface eye is someone looking out from the inside, with a crowd in front of them.

The Trench eye us from a different vantage point: you are looking at an eye from the outside with things going on inside of it, or reflected in it.

The first one is them looking out, the second is us looking in. I think this shows the shift of perspective in the Trench era from a place of exclusive introspection to exploring how others can help and support you and learning how to let others in. This is given extra significance by the image shown in the eye, of clips from the Jumpsuit music video, prominently featuring the Banditos on the cliff, a visualization of the hope that can be offered by others, even when it's hard to receive.

[4me2walkawaywith]

I'll be right there

When Jumpsuit came out, there was some confusion about the line "I'll be right there, but you'll have to grab my throat and lift me in the air if you need anyone; i'll stop my plans, but you'll have to tie me down and then break both my hands if you need anyone," and the confusion makes sense because the whole thing is contradictory and misleading. For a while I thought that maybe Tyler's blurry was taking over every other line, a more selfish part of him, wanting to stay safe and not help. It still didn't quite make sense. What made me realize what it really meant was a tweet by Camden Hooper (a wonderful bean with wonderful music, check her out). She compared this line to the plight of Bucky Barnes, having his mind taken over by forces outside of his control. This made me realize that Tyler was not adressing his loved ones, or us, the clique, but talking directly to Nico and the bishops. During the part of the music video where this is being sung, Tyler is being smeared and starting to follow the bishop's horse, forgetting who he is. And because of the way it sounds, soft and gentle, that makes it hard to figure out that Ty is adressing the one he hates. "I'm right behind you, i'm following you. I'll be right there to serve you and remove my true self from the equation." But then, almost to himself, of maybe someone else speaking over him, reminding him who he is, "But it'll be over my dead body. You will have to rip my identity out of my cold, dead hands. I'll be right there with you, but you'll have to kill me first."

[4me2walkawaywith]

So i've been thinking about the way that DEMA and TRENCH are structured. Cities are safer. They're cleaner, easier to navigate. They've got a lot of other people, which adds security. The wilderness is, well, wild. There's no predictability, all routine is pulled out from under you. The things that make you safe, your insulation, are so quickly stripped away the moment you cross the line from city to wilderness. In the city, in DEMA, there are systems. Certain ways that things work, certain laws with obvious enforcers. Speaking personally, I build cities in my head. I build walls and keep out everything i'm afraid of. But it's piling up out there, and the stress is building on my gates. I make my own rules, and they do keep me safer, but they also trap me. I start living for the system, holding myself directly accountable to the rules, but with nothing to hold them up. I have to go to a wilder place, where I know i'll have to fight. But every time, I need help. I need my banditos, my friends, my family. The cities that we build become so complex, twisting and turning, systems that are made to keep you right where you are. You really do have to go undercover, hiding from your own mind. But it's still you. You are in control, you are trapping yourself. So you must go somewhere where you have no control. A fundamentally wild place. You have to jump into the arms of something bigger than yourself.

[4me2walkawaywith]

My Concert

I expected my concert to be emotional. I expected to cry. But I was so not prepared for the celebration of life that happened in that room. It was ANYTHING but sad. I listened to literally thousands of people commit to staying alive, even when still inside the walls of their cities, their DEMAs. I sang at the top of my lungs the songs that have given me a safe place, a better lens through which to see the world. It was a party, and I don't usually like those, but it was my kind of party. There was so much substance to everything. I have spent so many hours watching concert vids, listening to interviews, memorizing song lyrics. But that night everything became real to me. I felt invited in to something bigger than myself. Ty and Josh are people. Just people who give a stage to bigger things. We are all putting on this show together. I didn't just come to see them, I came to dance with them, sing with them, laugh with them. There is a conversation going on here, and I am so grateful to have been blessed with the opportunity to be a part of it.

[4me2walkawaywith]

My hope of something more is all I have in this rigid tomb, and I will not let it die.

Clancy

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The Purpose of This Here Blog

Hi.  So I love Twenty One Pilots. I love digging into the meanings of Tyler’s lyrics and how their complexity never ceases to amaze me. I love how everything that they’re doing points to something bigger. I love the fan base and how supportive it is. I love the boys themselves and respect them like crazy.  Their humility inspires me, and they never let meaninglessness win. This band makes me think, and find new and exciting ways of processing the world around me.  They’ve been there for my worst days and my best, and they always make me feel like they’re singing specifically for me, and also for every other person, sharing thoughts and feelings to a mass audience, but individually. I so appreciate Josh always being open about anxiety and coping; he has helped me immensely and been a huge example to me of how someone with mental illness can still do amazing things and have a good life.  

          But the thing is, I don’t know anyone in person who really feels the same way.  I have friends who like TOP, but no one who has listened deeply and has investment in this. And it’s not like TOP is all that I can talk about; I try and keep my relationship with this band really healthy, it’s just that I REALLY like talking about it.  And here, there’s other people who do, too.  So this is just a place to express my thoughts, emotions, and ideas surrounding this band and what they do. So if you wanna listen and discuss, let’s frackin go. I love all of you, and I can’t wait for the conversations that await us.

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Welcome to trench.