ocd intrusive thoughts are annoying as fuck i'll be walking down the stairs and my mind is like here's an image of your skull cracking open and exploding as you fall backwards down the stairs. if you care

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@7gentlemanlysnails
ocd intrusive thoughts are annoying as fuck i'll be walking down the stairs and my mind is like here's an image of your skull cracking open and exploding as you fall backwards down the stairs. if you care
going through your childhood photos and realizing everything your mother could have been if she didn't have you then losing your mind about it for the next 3 business days and possibly every second to come after that
How do I send my unborn fetus an eviction notice
Do I eat it or do I shove it up the exit
i can domesticate him
I can make him feral
i can give him rabies
i can milk him
do you guys know i can read this shit
I can’t read this shit
stretch marks are beautiful
mary shelley writing about a monster rejected and abandoned by its creator and dedicating it to her own father i need to smoke a blunt with her i need to give her head
I think if one of my posts from tumblr ever ended up on Reddit or twitter or -god forbid- tiktok, I would be disappointed in the “all the social networking sites are made primarily of screenshots of other sites’ posts” rule being true more than anything else
I love you (I’d die for you) i love you (but to be alive is harder still) I love you (the worst sound I ever heard was someone begging.) I love you (I’d rip out my lungs for you. What do you mean, please don’t leave?) I love you (if I could drink your poison I would) I love you (and your name is written on my ribs) I love you (let me hold you) I love you (i wish there were better words for it) i love you (I will look all the words I cannot say) I love you (I’d make you breakfast every morning) I love you (please. let me stay with you. let me help) I love you (your laugh heals every crack in my heart) I love you (I’d die for you) I love you (but you make life seem worth living) I love you (and I’m glad I’m alive with you.) i love you (I do.)
One of the most weirdly humbling things is failing a suicide attempt
This was originally meant to be a humorous sort of realization but I’d actually like to expand on it a bit
One of the most weirdly humbling things is failing a suicide attempt.
I mean… you feel like you’re failing in life- or life is failing you- so badly that you don’t want to deal with it any more. But then life kind of says “hey, fuck you, we’re not done here yet”.
I woke up in the morning on a day I truly thought that I wouldn’t ever see, and I had to throw away my suicide note.
I crumpled it up and threw it in the neighbor’s trash outside so no one would read it, because the only thing worse than failing a suicide attempt was, in my mind at least, someone knowing that I had failed.
At that point in my life, I thought I didn’t deserve to live. But, evidently, I didn’t deserve to die either. I felt like I was trapped in some sort of hellish purgatory.
I tried to kill myself at least 6 times before I turned 18, and each time I failed. Each time, I had to clean up whatever mess I had made in my desperate attempt at self-destruction. Wiping up my own vomit, my own blood, changing my sheets… it was an incredibly humbling experience every time.
One of the most weirdly humbling things is failing a suicide attempt
TW for pregnancy loss
I feel guilty for mourning when his sister’s little feet are kicking me as I type this. Those little feet wouldn’t be here if he was still coming.
Someday, maybe, I’ll be ok. But not today.
who else up crushing their worm
very glad to hear that. unfortunately this post was about penis
Did they stutter?
fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out
Oh god it’s 6:21am
I blog for the girls who cry on their birthdays and lose a little bit of themselves during the summer months
moving to tumblkr
it has been 48 hours since i moved to tumblr fully and deleted reddit. on at least 15 (counted) separate occasions my mind has mindlessly swiped through my phone trying to find the app, and deleting it kinda made me realise how addictive it really was.
moving from a social media that is like. super impersonal and hivemind-y to tumblr of all things is kind of a jump. like on reddit unless you get r/rimjob_steve'd your username is never mentioned. getting a Reputation is basically unheard of. you interact not with the author of the post, but with the post itself, and with those who may stumble along. you go to a subreddit and you get content exclusively about that topic. there are self proclaimed experts everywhere. it's all a gamee to maximise upvotes, and by far it is the best place to get information about niche things that you are interested in. just a pure constant stream of info, impersonal, like a machine.
tumblr is real funny because you browse between a Serious 2 Thousand Word Analysis on the Current Societal Behaviours to a meme about frogs; from a essay with heart and soul poured in to someone making a one-word joke. You are responsible for your dashboard, not anyone else. and more importantly -
I am a person. like it sounds stupid to say this but on reddit i am a Viewer of content. I see the content, i pass my judgement in the form of an upvote and downvote, leave a comment perhaps, engage or ask for information. Nothing about the people i interact with, nothing about me. just the Topic at hand. here, these are People I am talking with, which is kinda funny. i guess i forgot rule 1 of the internet: to remember the person. and tumblr has reminded me of that.
still though the search function is terrible here how do y'all live like this?
On Reddit you view content, on tumblr the content views you
shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.