Madame's Pensieve

Kris (she/her/hers). 24. Gray-asexual, panromantic, & polyamorous. Slytherin. Writer, actor, artist, musician. I love art, music, and good food.

[somewhatstacey]

An inspiration to us all

Patreon | Instagram | Goddammitstacey.com

[kittydesade]

When I find myself in times of trouble, Space Mom Carrie comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom

Fuck ‘em.

[narcissanetwork]

sanctimonia vincet semper.

[cavarage]

LUNA LOVEGOOD • “My mum always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end.”

[poetic-pics]

[poetic-pics]

This is a work of fiction…

[thelvadams]

You’re about the warmest person I ever met.

[jesspendley]

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

if i was the joker id just get a restraining order on batman and superman whataere they gonna do? break the law? then theyre no better than me, a cold blooded murderer. and this would 100% work, because superheroe movies have the shittiest takes on ethics since fucking kant

[fuckyeahthegoodplace]

[the-frog-emoji-is-ugly-as-shit]

[kateso]

I made some Valentine’s Day cards for my music major roommate :) We decided to be each others’ Valentines because boys suck, so we agreed to make something crafty for the other.

Taaa-daaa!!

[wololo-wololo-blog]

[princessesfanarts]

By はなみ❀

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

Can we talk about this?!

[nonbinnyboots]

HEY remember in WWII when Jewish people were fleeing Germany and the USA put a quota on how many Jewish immigrants they would accept because they were worried there were too many Jewish people coming over to the USA???

Reminder that the USA has always been fucking garbage to immigrants and basic humanity

[homoxstuff-deactivated20171122]

Please spread I haven’t seen this in the news still! I’ve literally had to tell people about it and they didn’t believe me!

[stardustschild]

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

[tbbackus]

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

[crutchie-morris]

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

[musicofthestage]

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

[agatharights]

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

[soulpunchftw]

This is wild from start to finish

[totalspiffage]

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

[punkbatsarchive]

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

[redheadeddisneyfreak]

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

[sammywhatammy]

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

[cinder-ember]

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

[pancakereport-deactivated201904]

In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional

[les-etoiles-de-la-boxe]

Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were “fishing” at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasn’t big enough, and throw it back into the “ocean”, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldn’t have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of “mmmm whatcha saaayyy” rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.

[hey-look-a-hufflepuff]

This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash

[majomaru]

My Junior year of high school our drama club put on Peter Pan,which involved the construction of a small boat fashioned out of scrap wood,plaster and an old wagon. A few of the actors who were cast as pirates had to ride the boat-wagon down the aisle to the front of the theatre,which had a concrete floor that sloped. About halfway down the brake they were using to control their speed gave out,and they crashed into the front of the stage at high speed.The entire boat imploded. The actors just sat there in silence for at least a full 10 seconds in the midst of the wreckage before my friend Adena screamed “ABANDON SHIP” and they all jumped out and took off running.

[narcissus-thee-squeekual]

My school once did a parody of Cinderella and I was Cinderellas dog. At one point Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother, and the dog had to flea the ball. I thought going down the stage steps wasn’t dramatic enough for “fleeing” so I launched myself off the stage and landed painfully in the center isle about three rows in accompanied with a very, very loud thump of face on concrete where I laid there like a dead fish for a while. At this point Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother got to me, not knowing what to do they stepped over me and continued running. But Cinderella had forgotten to loose her shoe so half way out of the room she chucked it back where it hit me in the head. I bolted upright and ran shrieking hysterically out of the room. A moment later the Prince came down to where the shoe was picked it up, looked dramatically at where I had exited and said “I hope that dog’s okay.” completely forgetting his line.  

[nicin20gayteen]

This may be my all time favorite post. 

[those-fucking-feratu]

I was once in a production of “Hello Dolly!” and the two leads were complete jokers and would prank each other during rehearsals all the time. The rest of the cast never thought they would do that during a show, but they told the chorus (separately) that they each were planning to add some tongue into the final kiss between Dolly and Horace. Of course, we told neither of them about the other’s plan, so during the very last show, we were all waiting in the wings to see what would happen. What happened was we ended the show with the two leads violently frenching each other on stage as the curtain dropped. They started dating two weeks later.

[milliniumfalcon]

Last year we did “Once Upon a Mattress” and the jester was supposed to do a somersault off of a stack of like 3 mattresses and then the minstrel and Lady Larken would be covered up with a blanket, but during one show the jester knocked down one of the mattresses and we had no time to fix it so we had to throw the mattress on top of them

[thatoneobsessedlinguist-deactiv]

This post holy shit

[attic-gremlin]

I once worked on a production of spamalot, and we had this really wobbly wooden map that the narrator would use in his opening monologue. He would act like a weather reporter,only instead of sticking on clouds/sunshine and telling the weather, he would stick in skulls and tell how the plague was spreading. One night we were running as usual when suddenly the narrator slaps a skull on a little harder than usual, which throws the map off balance and tips it straight into the orchestra pit. This huge, heavy-ass map built from 2x4s and plywood hits the pianist on the head and knocks the lamp- the orchestra’s only source of light- onto the floor, and the lamp shatters. The orchestra goes the rest of the show squinting to read their music by a tiny book light, and mess up about half a dozen times because they can’t see shit

[valedeahlive-deactivated2021090]

I was once in a production of the lion king at my school. There were 3 guys on the entire sound crew. J my superior who dealt with the more complex soundboard, me, who dealt with the less complex soundboard, and since I had graduated from running sound cues (my school is sorta poor with no orchestra and a very very poor sound system) off of my laptop, my old job was handed off to a newbie. Which would’ve been fine,,,, if the newbie had the desire to work at all. She just joined because her boyfriend worked backstage and when J and I found out we were livid. We continued as normal through rehearsals with the exception of one tiny thing. Our microphones frequently cut in and out. Our Simba had the worst microphone out of all of em and we weren’t able to reroute the mic plot in time. Come Friday the following happened. - during the scene in which Simba trys to roar but fails to and then Mufasa comes in to save the day, our newbie played the cue 3 liNES EARLY. Which was obviously bad, but it was made worse by my saying to J “hey this sound cue is a little quiet,, why don’t you turn it up??” - that little stunt deafened the audience and there was stunned silence on stage until the hyenas burst out into scripted laughter as if Simba gave the weakest little roar ever - when it came time for the actual roar to occur we stopped silent as to not give away our mistake and to somehow blame it on the faulty sound system. Mufasa was left screaming by himself - our newbie was sulking so she missed the very next sound cue - during intermission apparently a 2 year old had unplugged our entire sound system via 2 cables we had daisy chained to the outlet. The place where the two cables connected was left exposed on the floor. - because of this we had to crank up all of our volume because the only way we got sound then was from speakers backstage. This nearly deafened out vocal pit backstage - we found the problem to late into act 2 which immediately launches into 2 of the best numbers in the entire thing in my opinion. The actors were the real troopers, singing out. Half way through a song, our director plugged in our sound system, deafening our audience again - during the remember who you are scene, Mufasa was supposed to come out on a tall rolling platform behind a second set of curtains further upstage. Those curtains were supposed to close when he finished his scene, they didn’t - Mufasa was forced to stand up there for a solid minute before the backstage people realized something was up - on the very last number, where rafiki was supposed to lift simba’s daughter to the sky, two things happened - someone foRGOT THE BABY - our lights system decided to cut out for whatever reason - and finally, the next showing, there was no newbie to be seen. That left me to pick up her slack. needless to say this was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had working in the theatre program ever

[saintemry]

i just finished the show oklahoma and one night our will forgot the little wonder before his entrance scene in act one so he improvised and was basically looking into nothing , needless to say the audience was confused.

there was also an inside joke backstage with some of the boys in the cast, not sure where it originated but they’d always say “it’s a done deal!” about random stuff. so of course (possibly the same night as the little wonder incident) during the scene where jud falls on his knife, when everyone’s like “is he dead????” someone with his mic on says “is he a done deal??” which i think got us a lecture from the director

[7madamekris]

MY ART So I've just recently resumed my residency on this here personal tumblr of mine. I know I used to post art here sometimes so like if anyone wants to see some more art of mine, I've been infinitely more active on my artstagram as of late, and I have tons more content on there than I ever posted on here too. I just find the medium so much more fitting & aesthetically pleasing

[only-one-that-matters]

[7madamekris]

What you SHOULD say to people dealing with any of these:

Anxiety: This too shall pass, even if that sounds corny and cliche. Your anxiety will subside, you are not dying, you will not die from this, everything is going to be fine. Keep taking deep breaths, try and stay focused.

Depression: You are valid and your emotions are valid. You are a good, strong person, even if you don't feel like you are right now. Things DO get better, and I know you can get through this.

Sexual Orientation: Your body, your life, your bedroom. You choose what you do with it, and I get no say in the matter, because I am not you. I'll respect you no matter what.

Bipolar: The sun also rises. For all your bad days, weeks, or longer-- you also have good ones just beyond the horizon. You know better than anyone what it means to finally hit those "highs" in your life, and I hope that you just keep growing and strengthening yourself through your treatment to extend those happy moments.

Self harm: This is your body and I'll never pass judgement over you for the things you choose to do with it. However, you should really consider speaking with a counselor about this. Not because you're "bad", but because I just want you to be safe.

Eating disorders: It's okay to eat, you have permission. Eating will not make you fat, ugly, or worthless. Eating will make you strong, healthy, and lively. You deserve to eat, you deserve happiness.

Abuse: What they did was wrong, and you had no consenting part in it. You have no need to feel guilty or shamed, although I understand that may be exactly how you are feeling right now. They're the ones at fault here, and the ball is entirely in your court if you choose to report them for that, which you are rightfully entitled to do.

Suicide: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You are valuable and your existence is valuable. There are billions of people on this planet, and even if you think everyone hates you and no one cares, they do and they will. You can find so many friends and loved ones if you just allow yourself the time to look for them. The world turns out to be a beautiful place and you deserve to be alive to see that.

Sexual assault: What they did was vile and disgusting. Yes, you're now left with this horrible, traumatic event to move on from, but your life is not entirely lost. Recovery is possible, and an unfortunately large number of people have to go through that-- but they make it to the other side. So can you, you can do this. You're not dirty, you're not a "slut" or a "whore", you are a human being whose rights were violated. But you are strong, and I know you can move past this in due time.

Multiple Personality Disorder: I'll always love you no matter who you are. I only hope the absolute best for you during your recovery and treatment, and maybe one day I'll be so privileged as to love you as one whole.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: The pain of suddenly reliving horrific events is almost unimaginable for me. Please try and remember that although it feels like it's real and it's happening right now, that it's not. You are okay, you are fine, and you are safe. You are in the present here and now, and that past can't manifest itself again to come and physically hurt you. Everything is just fine, these feelings will pass and you're going to be okay.

Schizophrenia: I am real and I can promise you that. I care. Try and find something grounding for you, an object that you can cling to to help you distinguish between whether or not you're hallucinating. You are not a freak, you are not a monster. You're a human being with rights and emotions who happens to be ill right now.

[villancikos]

[commander-ledi]

villancikos:

The Anatomy of a mermaid

yes, thanks.

i hate when people draws mermaid’s tail like it was some sort of goddamn suit on normal human legs like this:

it just doesnt work

[mewmii-deactivated20160821]

yeah we wouldnt want to make our mermaids too unrealistic

[ultralaser]

this asks more questions than it answers. they don’t really have vestigial legs, like those aren’t even motile fins, so why do they still have fully formed hips, why hasn’t the pelvic bone changed significantly? and where did the tail come from?

[proto whale]

[orca skelly]

whales as we know them evolved from land animals that went back out to sea, and it’s all spine all the way down to the tail fin. the pelvis is vestigial to the point of being tiny and unrecognizable, and the rear leg structure is //gone//. and by the time they evolved all that, their forelegs had turned into proper fins and they didn’t have hourglass figures, because they built up walls of insulating fat and blubber where it was needed most - around the vital organs.

[walrus skelly]

which brings us to the walrus. as you can see the skeletal structure and the external appearance are fairly ursiform - the rear legs are basically still in there forming the tail, and the pelvis is intact, and above that it may as well still be a land animal. if mermaids did exist, as hominids who went back out to sea, and if they hadn’t evolved into basically dolphins, then a walrus skeletal system, complete with vestigial thigh bones inside a kind of muscle skirt, and with significant fat and blubber deposits //on the main body// would be most likely. which is to say, mermaids with human torsos and seagoing lower bodies would waddle around on their tails, have clearly defined thigh structures, and would be a hell of a lot rounder above and about the waist than they’re usually depicted.

which begs the question, then, if you see a mermaid and it’s a skinny little thing with a slinky waist and an eel-like tail and a perfect bosom and a coy smile, //why does it look like that//? because whatever that is? it is not a land animal that readapted to the sea. it is not your distant kin. it is a sea creature that adapted //to get your attention//.

maybe it’s all an illusion, a frilly mane, an hourglass shape, and narrow antennae that mimic the shape of human arms, waving lonely sailors into the water, only to realize too late the bioluminescent patterns of lipstick and pert breasts are to distract from what lies behind them - viselike jaws and row after row of stiletto teeth.

or maybe it’s all soft tissue, the gelatinous bell of a jellyfish folded into a pleasing shape, luring the unwary down to be caught up in a tail that is nothing more than thousands of barbed lines of stinging neurotoxin cells.

or it could be that the tail goes deep into a shadowy well, and the beautiful woman is a mask for a single enormous jaw, the internal skeleton just the endless spine and ribs of a vast and hungry sea snake.

or, perhaps most terrifyingly, the face is real but not the face of the eyes looking out of it - a human mask for an intelligence both cold and calculating, wearing an inviting smile to bring you within reach of the dagger behind it’s back. waiting to slice the skin off of you because it needs a new disguise, because it is shaped like you but does not look like you, because it must pass as you so it can go among you, so that by starlight it may go on land and into town, where your kin are sleeping, unsuspecting.

[scuttleboat]

Jesus Christ back up a minute buddy

[randomdeinonychus]

I am 100% on board with eldritch horror mermaids.

[brigidkeely]

Can I set up something to just reblog this every time I see it? Like automatically? Because this is perfect and I love this.